My girlfriend of over a year has decided to take a break. All of a sudden, something clicked in her head and she feels that we're too young to have such a serious relationship. She doesn't want to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. Mind you, she was always the one who talked about the future and what not. I tried to avoid any such talk of it, because I didn't want to get my hopes up yet again. We've decided to take a break and agreed to no contact for 2 weeks. As hard as it's going to be, should I not contact her at all in order to get her back into my life? I love this girl so much, and would marry her if we weren't both on the verge of finishing up college. Should I not contact her? What if she contact me, should I respond?

Leave her alone. Forget the two weeks, YOU DON'T contact her at all. This was her bed to undo, so if she wants to fix it, she will be the one responsible for doing so. You can experience plenty in life as a couple, you don't need to break up to do it. I am sorry for your loss, but I will say that breaking up with my ex was the BEST thing that ever happened to me as a person. Read the stickies on this forum. We are here for you, and we ALL know how hard this is.

Well I appreciate the fact that there are forums such as this. I've gone through a break up that people would think is ten times worse, but mentally, this one is the hardest for me. I guess one of my problems is, I never showed her my complete true emotions all the time. I tired to keep them in, because I too thought we were young and I wanted to have a fun relationship and just go with the flow. She talked about the future and I would listen and acknowledge the fact, until eventually I gave in and I too discussed the future. She's in a sorority with her sister. All of whom, have serious relationships. Her best friend pops in and out of relationship in search of commitment. I just wonder if it's outside influence or if its something else. She doesn't seem like the cheating type. I just want to have her back in my life. Trying to figure out the best course of action to do so.

Give it two weeks, and see how you feel. But for gosh sakes, act single, and enjoy it. You think she won't?

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to take it in strides and do stuff that keeps my mind off it.

You're lucky that you both are still able to let in 2 weeks to clear the thoughts and mind. My girlfriend says she wanted to be friends with me and MAYBE good friends but the fact that she isn't interested in replying any of my text anymore. Work it out !

God bless you! GODDDDDDDDD !

She wanted space, so I decided to give her, her space. Thankfully, she goes to school 30 minutes away and I don't see her on a daily basis. After the two weeks, she'll be back at work, unfortunately, a place we both work at :/

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Originally Posted by Alwerd54

She wanted space, so I decided to give her, her space. Thankfully, she goes to school 30 minutes away and i don't see her on a daily basis. After the two weeks, she'll be back at work, unfortunately, a place we both work at :/

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That's how she came up with the two weeks I guess. Just leave it at that. Do your own thing until the day you see each other again.

A friend of mine told me, if she truly cares, She'll call you before the two weeks. If by the two week mark she doesn't call you to meet up, you have to call her, then you already know what is to come of you two in the end. Sad, but true. In a way, I'm kind of dreading getting to that point.

I know it sucks, but you can't force someone to like you. You've been together for a year, so she probably knows you really well. There's not much more you can do. Just hope for the best. Keep yourself distracted so that you don't feel so much pain.

Trying to keep myself distracted. I'm happy it's finals week. I have to study, still, in a way, it's keeping me from focusing on school

A song taught me a lot about these "breaks" since my ex did it to me. "You do you, Imma do me" and then just do exactly that.

Look at the "break" line threads, they don't end well for people like you. It's an easy way to break up. Step up to the plate, give her the space she wanted and go out and enjoy life.

Thanks everyone for the advice

What I don't understand, she wants to be on her own and make her own decision, not let any outside source influence her, but yet, she's going around asking people what she should do??

It's a tough call on your part to talk or not to talk, you know your situation, she might be testing you, or should has been wanted to leave for sometime and might be feeling guilty about something, ( another person) and her talking to will only make her guilty, I was going threw the same thing, the girl who was head over heels for me asked for a break and started seeing another guy right away, and hasn't talked to me since cause I know she feels guilty and is rebounding. It was long distance girls don't ask for space unless: seeing someone else, family problems etc. they would still keep contact you if they saw hope the relationship. Good luck

Yeah, I just wish there was hope. What sucks is I have the opportunity to switch stores since we both work at the same store, but I don't want to make the move and make it seem on my part that I think it's completely over, but then again, I don't want to wait only to find out that it's done and over; then I have to stick around and watch her have a good old time, while I'm there miserable.

Well I can promise you that if you keep seeing her all the time your feelings for her are not going to fade, maybe her not being around you and not seeing you might bring up curiouscity in her mind and make her think about you and start to miss you. I'm not over my ex yet and I know if I had to keep seeing her and hear about how good her life might be I would be back at square one. Time to be selfish and worry about you and do things to make you look your life is amazing with or without her

That's the problem. I know I will see her everyday at work. In my last break up, I was able to move away and go to college, which was a big help in getting over my ex, but I don't want to run from my problems. It's like I'm playing devils advocate!

Threads merged and edited.


She think's we're too young to be in a serious relationship and she loves me, but doesn't and needs time to think. We are in two weeks of NC, with today being the first day. I found out I have the opportunity to take a job at another store since my girlfriend and I work at the same store. Should I apply for the job or stick it out. If I take the job, I have to move and my girlfriend and I will be over 2 hrs apart.Here's what I'm thinking

IF I GO

*Am I running from my problems
* is it saying that I give up, I'm throwing in the towel and I think its completely over
*I'd have to move

IF I STAY
* risk the chance of things working out
*stuck seeing her everyday if things don't work out
*Still live at home and could be in pain because of the B.U.

I don't want to run from my problems, I don't want to throw in the towel, but I don't want to be miserable. HELP!

Well let me say this, you never want to make it seem like your running away and that she got the best of you, don't let her know your leaving because of her, then she will know she has power over you which is not good, you need to access the situation and find out how to get her to chase you, girls want what they can't have. You can't give someone space when you see them all the time, that is not space, you need her to start missing you, and that can't happen when you are around her all the time

Well I applied for the job. Got in the application just in time and received a call for an interview 5 minutes later. I decided that I wouldn't let what I do be based off what she's going to do. Plus, I didn't want to lose out on a prime opportunity to better my future. Even if things work out, I'm more then willing to find a way to make it work with us. But I won't tell her that. I'm not going to tell her that I applied or if I got the job. Don't want it to influence her decision. If she truly cares about us, then she too would find a way to make it work. Just have play the waiting game and see how things unfold...

Threads merged

My girlfriend and I were on the NC for two weeks, it's only been 3 days and she decided to I.M me and talk. It was a normal good conversation, then she asked if we could get together, but to give each other our stuff back. I am heart broken. She said the break is great and she wants to be single and enjoy the summer, doesn't want to worry about a boyfriend or checking her cell phone every 5 minutes... even though she was the one who normally called or texted me all the time. I'm just so heart broken. I don't know what to do. I gathered up all her stuff and put it in a bag... I felt horrible doing it. I told her I had her stuff together if she wanted to get it tomorrow at work. She didn't care.. she's very short on her responses... she didn't even have the respect to do it in person or even on the phone.. that's what hurts the most.. she says she loves me and that she see's us together again, but not for a while... but yet she can't even do it in person? Or Vocally.. That's what hurts the most. I just don't get it.. we dated for almost a year and half, we were great together, had blast.. took trips.. got along with each others friends and constantly she would talk about the future, but I would always tel her let's not look at the future.. just enjoy the moment.. till eventually.. I too was thinking about the future.. We didn't see each other every day.. we hung out like once a week... I just don't get it.. This really hurts. This is worse then my previous relationship when I walked in on my ex girlfriend banging my best friend. Really makes me wonder if I'm suppose to be happy.. or if I'm suppose to be here at all. I hope things get better... I really do... everything that could go wrong this week, has.

Sorry to hear that. Things will get better, right now you are experiencing the initial part of the heart break. It will take some time to get easier to deal with. A few tips however, do not show how down hearted you feel about this to her and do not beg or bother her about it. It will only make it worse and make you feel worse. She did tell you she may get back together with you later down the line, so look at this time as an opportunity to do some things for yourself. Get in shape, meet new people, learn new things, and have some fun. The best thing you can do is to show her you are able to go on with your life. And could help to regain her attraction to you, or someone else. Take it easy, and try your best to do things to help keep your mind off it.

I'm trying... I just don't get how someone who says they "love you" can't even call or ask to talk in person... that's just messed up.

Because it's the kind of love that they either don't feel, or the kind that isn't strong enough to not feel bad about breaking up with you but still expect to continue a friendship. It's not the love you have for her and you shouldn't expect it to be.

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Originally Posted by Alwerd54

I'm trying... i just don't get how someone who says they "love you" can't even call or ask to talk in person... that's just messed up.

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Your right buddy, that is messed up. All I can say about that is it's cowardly and shows a lack of respect for your feelings.

I would have done anything for this girl. Although I was very opinionated on topics and stood my ground, which her family always liked. I always made sure she put school and the sorority before us. I always made sure she got her stuff done, I put her life and school before my life and my school... I just hate it.. I moved down here.. everything I know.. everyone I know.. is because of her. Everyone treats me differently now.. it sucks.. I want nothing to do with this place

Just something I would have never expected from this girl... never.

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Originally Posted by Alwerd54

Just something i would have never expected from this girl... never.

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I know, no one ever expects it from some one they thought was in love with them.

She loves you but she's not in love with you.

She broke up it off, its over and get on with your life. She's giving you little hope that you guys might get back together and she is holding you on a string making you wait. Don't let her trap you, the relationship is over.

She says she wants to be single. Just a question. What do single people do? They can flirt around or be with anyone or sleep with anyone they want without having any guilt. Just a thought.

Your title shouldn't be "my gf broke it off" it should be "my ex broke it off" because its over now bro.

Break ups suck for sure, and even weirder is sometimes they happen without anything going wrong. Still sucks big time but it will be better later. Vent, mourn, heal and move on, as there will be other options and opportunities to be happy. You just have to get ready for them.

330 Am and I can't even sleep.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Break ups suck for sure, and even weirder is sometimes they happen without anything going wrong. Still sucks big time but it will be better later. Vent, mourn, heal and move on, as there will be other options and opportunities to be happy. You just have to get ready for them.

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This is the most sage advice you're going to get in a nutshell. Do your grief work while finding new things to be interested (not women, but interests, hobbies, social groups).

It is better to be without someone than to be with someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship. There are times in life to explore and figure out all that life has to offer. For her, this is that time. It's not always a bad thing. You might find this to be an incredible opportunity later on. Right now it's too painful but you can and will get over this!

I know life moves on. It's just getting over the grief that is so hard. I hope I get this new job so I can move on with my life and move away from all this.

Things have gotten better. Everyday, I feel a little better. I start to forget and slowly my love for her is fading. I have a new job, a new place to live, and a new beginning to look forward to. We haven't talked in a few days and I'm okay with that. I keep telling myself that I have to let go and move on, she has. If she truly cared, this would have never happened and she would have called.

You are on the right path now. Just enjoy your life and don't contact her at all or else you ll be back at square one with the pain.

Fine till she randomly texts me.. She texted me and is like "congrats on the new job, goodluck with that" blah blah blah.. but the way she words stuff is like she could careless, but she feels its her moral obligation as a person to say something to me... its messed up and painful

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Originally Posted by Alwerd54

Fine till she randomly texts me.. She texted me and is like "congrats on the new job, goodluck with that" blah blah blah.. but the way she words stuff is like she could careless, but she feels its her moral obligation as a person to say something to me... its messed up and painful

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Don't think anything of it. Smile, and go on with your day ;)

~ Tee

Yeah.. then my buddy called and texted her asking her what her problem was... Not a good idea... I got a call 15 minutes later Saying I needed to get him to stop or else. That had I not jumped to conclusions, we'd be back together already. Bad bad bad bad night

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Originally Posted by Alwerd54

Yeah.. then my buddy called and texted her asking her what her problem was... Not a good idea... i got a call 15 minutes later Saying i needed to get him to stop or else. That had I not jumped to conclusions, we'd be back together already. Bad bad bad bad night

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Lol, she's manipulating you dude. You didn't jump to any conclusions. If she didn't know for sure that she wanted you then you aren't obligated to wait around on her to figure it out. If she thinks that she's entitled to that, then you are definitely better off without her ;)

Btw, "taking a break" and "broken up" are the same thing. If the person doesn't want to be with you, then that's that. I wish people would realize that sooner, it saves so much time and heartbreak!

Just ignore her, and don't let your friends get involved. She's just mad because she can't control you.

~ Tee