Ask Me Help Desk - I really like him and I don't want to lose him but I don't want to look needy neither?

I really like him and I don't want to lose him but I don't want to look needy neither?

OK me and this we've been dating for two months then we decided on making it an open relationship with no commitment and after our last date three days later I asked him out and he said he was busy and the next day I asked him out and again he turned me down so three days later I text him:i really like you and I don't know if you are mad at me or if you simply don't want want to see me anymore but I thought we were friends and you should tell me which one is it and ill never bother you again.
And he replied:there's nothing wrong and we are friends and I would like to see you but these days I can't just this,have a nice day:).
And he I not the type that plays games and the last time I saw him he told me that he started two new jobs and he goes to school in the morning and that he's really busy
So how long do you thin I should give him before calling and ask him what's going on?and what can I do to not look needy?please answer me and give me your opinions

In my opinon open relationships never works. The guy would have to either want to be with me or not. Not I would someone that would because there are plenty of guys out there for me to go fishing.

This guy already expressed to you that he is busy but believe me if he wanted to spend time with you he would find time for you.

You want time with him but at this time he doesn't have or simply don't want to make the time.

However, life goes on and I wouldn't be too into a guy that isn't that much into me.

If you going remain friends with this guy then be just that without the expections of anything more.

Sounds like he's really busy and doesn't want a relationship right now.

If he wants to see you he'll call. Seeing as he is busy just wait for him to make the next move and go on with your life as if he's not in it, because really, he isn't.

You've already appeared needy, so stop it, go out and have fun.

If he calls then you can either go out with him or tell him you're busy.

Good luck.

I do want to be frinds but I want to call him and at the same time I'm afraid that he will think I want more and might run away!I mean he said we can be friends but why can't I treat him as one.

Well, you say you want to be friends but this thread kind of leads me to believe you want him back. You can be friends but don't put him at the top of your priorities as he hasn't put you on top of his. I'd busy myself if I were you with fun things like friends and family and just have fun. Friends don't make one friend the center of their attention.. At least... I don't know anyone who does.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rose246

i do want to be frinds but i wanna call him and at the same time im afraid that he will think i want more and might run away!i mean he said we can be friends but why can't i treat him as one.

He's busy, he's told you that. If you keep calling, texting, asking what's wrong, why he won't see you, honey, he's going to block your calls and delete your texts, that's what I'd do.

You're being needy even though you want to avoid that.

You can treat him like a friend, but you seem to want him to be at your beck and call and that simply isn't going to happen at this point.

Next time you feel the urge to text or call, try just saying "hi, thinking of you, hope all is well" and see if he responds.

Stop asking for more then he's willing to give.

That's the problem I already feel like I called him too much that I don't know how long I should wait before I text him again

Quote:

Originally Posted by rose246

thats the problem i already feel like i called him too much that i dont know how long i should wait before i text him again

Then don't call, wait until he makes contact.

This isn't a game, if you have to play a game then he's not the guy for you.

When I was dating, before I got married, if I wanted to call I'd call and if he said he was too busy then fine, you can call me, maybe I'll be available.

It sounds like he just isn't that in to you so live your life, have fun and see what happens.

Really. It will work out in the end. Promise. :)

I have always lived by if a boy wants an "open relationship" it means that he doesn't respect you for an individual he wants all the girls he can get at the same time which I don't think would be fair on you at all

Based on my own personal experience, this is what I think about your situation:
1. You dated for two months- That's a normal timeframe to get to know each other and see if you are compatible.
2. You agreed to an "open relationship"- That means the two of you are free to date other people. Perhaps there is someone more compatible out there.
3. He says he's really busy. - That means he's really busy. He's either working, going to school, or dating someone else. (see #2)
4. You don't want to sound needy- Uh, you do sound needy. You agreed to an "open relationship" with no commitment, yet you call him frequently and want to know what's going on.

I would suggest that you take advantage of your open relationship to find out what it is that you are really looking for.

Right now, it sounds like you want a guy that doesn't have time for you.

So at this point you think I should just stop texting?I mean not even after a week I shouldn't like text him a sweet or funny good night or how are you message?

If you just want to be friends, then you let him know that you want to hang out when he's free. And he will come and find you when he has time. No strings attached.

But I think that you are just fooling yourself. You're just hanging on to him in hopes that one day he will agree to a closed relationship. Normal friends would not want to see the other person so badly. You obviously still have feelings for him. Do yourself a favor and tell him that you still have feelings for him and you don't actually want an open relationship.

If he doesn't want a closed relationship, then you're better off finding new friends and finding someone else to be with. There's no point waiting around by the phone for him to call you.

OK so here's what I think I'm going to do
Ill send him a sweet message and ask how he been if he responds ill ask him out and tell him how I feel about this relationship
If he doesn't respond then its his lost and I won't have to wonder anymore! so what do you think?

I think you have already sent him too many messages and he has already not responded to those. You should leave him alone before you become the annoying ex-gf.

Here is my story. My current boyfriend was in an "open relationship" when I met him. I knew his ex-gf so I didn't really want to start dating him. My boyfriend convinced me that he didn't love her, but she kept calling to ask him out. As I dated him more, her calls became annoying. I think the main reason why they broke up was because she always wanted to know what he was doing when they weren't together. She still calls him, but not as much. She might be thinking that they still have an "open relationship", but they don't. It closed when he gave me a diamond promise ring.

Thank u,u just gave me the answer that I needed,I don't want to be annoying to anyone

He just may not be that into you if he were he would make the time.. period... man I wouldn't want to hear we are friends from a guy I was in a relationship with open or not... he should at least make time to call you even if it is for 5 or 10 min

He's confusing me,so can you tell me what you think?

Threads merged to get the whole story

We are friends but a little more like we just play around in a sweet way like just make out but nothing more and we don't have sex and he knows I'm not going to anytime soon with anyone and he's fine with it,and the last time I saw him,I told him that this guy told me he wants to be friends with benefits with me and he said:so have sex with him?and we both laughed and it was kind of joke.also I had a new haircut that night and he said nothing about it and when I tried his glasses he said:u still look like the last time you wore them and nothing has changed in your looks ,and after we were done playing he turned off the lights and hold me closely and started cuddling in a sweet way like holding my arm and massaging my back and neck and running his fingers through my hair and my face and he said he was comfortable that way but then it was dark and I had to go but when we reached the middle of the road like a little before the bus station where I was supposed to cach my bus,he asked if I can go from there and I said yes you can leave ill be fine and he just lef.
p.s.he was really tired and told me that so I don't know.but what you think is going on?does he like me or not?

I think this guy just wants to get you into bed

Without knowing more about this guy, it's hard to tell.

But you have to remember as a high school boy, there usually one thing on their minds and that is bedding you (regardless of if he says otherwise).

Maybe his actions were motivated by that. I would never let a friend (girl or not) wait by themselves in the dark at a bus station.

Actually he's 26 years old and im19

Why don't you just be direct and ask him?

I think all the making out sessions and cuddling is confusing things and the two of you crossed the friend line.
So the question is where does it goes from here? Back to just being friends or more? Talk about it.

Also, I think you tried to make him jealous a little when you told him about the other guy and probably thought that would spark the beginning of something.

Just my two cents.

I can't ask him cause he uses the word friends a lot to me lol but I told him that I was going away to school and he kept going back to the subject asking:oh so are you going?when are you going?have you made up your mind?who are you going to live with?and stuff like that?

Don't say you can't ask him because if is your friend and this issue is on your mind--you should be able to have an open discussion with him.

What you need to do is stop making out and cuddling with him. No more crossing the lines then maybe the confusion would stop, maybe.

Again, my two cents.

He's obviously interested in you, but he might not be doing any of the sensitive things that you want.

But at the same time, it sounds like the two of you don't know each other too well.

The best thing to do is to talk more. Get to know each other more.

Like Liz said; I too think you should have a talk with him... I honestly can't say whether he is interested from the OP. so you should have a talk about the cuddling and the making out.. and try to define what the two of you are doing. B/c you have def. crossed a line.

And I agree with I wish: I to get the impression that the two of you might not know each other that well.

OK,we aalso can go for weeks without talking really or hang out and when I asked him about it he said that we are friends and we don't have to spend all the time together!
See that's what I meant when I said he confuses me lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by rose246

ok,we aalso can go for weeks without talking really or hang out and when i asked him about it he said that we are friends and we dont have to spend all the time together!!
see thats what i ment when i said he confuses me lol

It's not really that confusing, he's not as interested in you as you think.

I wish: had to spread the rep... but yeah, I think you're spot on.

OK so should I just move on?what do you think?

That just answers your question, he's only interested in you as a friend, so the cuddling and everything is just so he can get you into bed, friends with benefits never works, someone always gets hurt in the end.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rose246

ok so should i just move on?what do you think?

Yeah, move on and stop wasting your time with this guy.

He is interested in you. I also agree ask him if you both make out and cuddle can not see why be shy and ask him a question. Maybe he does not want a relationship with you just mess around.

And how does he leave you alone waiting for the bus? Lol

Move on sweetie! This isn't the guy for you. If he doesn't have the time to devote to you then he's not worth having you. Date around, there is plenty of time to meet your soul mate. Dating is supposed to be fun. I know its hard but wait for the guy your dating to call you, good things come to those who wait. Be patient and good luck

He really did it was after midnight and he said are you OK here?and I told him yeah I'm fine,so he said goodnight and just left lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by rose246

he really did it was after midnight and he said r u ok here?and i told him yeah im fine,so he said goodnight and just left lol

I don't think it's funny at all, if he cared for you even just as a friend, he would've waited with you.

Your threads were merged so the whole story can paint a very clear picture.

Now leave this guy alone, as you are wasting your time and not getting nothing but confusion in return.

He isn't friend material, let alone anything else.

I have been thinking about it,and the thing is,he didn't even pick up the phone and see if I arrived home safe and sound,and friends don't do that.also,we would go for days without talking,and that's when I call him.and I'm sure that the next time ill stop calling him he won't even bother to call and that's fine with me now,cause I really deserve someone better than a man who is treating me as a sex toy,plus,I can't live with the fact that I'm hanging out with someone who doesn't want to be around me.
So thank you all,you guys really opened up my eyes,and I know I made the right choice thanks to you.

Its sad when you realize stuff like that, but it really might be for the better in the long run. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you and who shows genuine interest!

Do you think I don't have a chance to win him back?I truly love him.

Threads merged

The breakup was mutual,but I said some mean things that I regret.so,I texted him an apology saying that I know he doesn't want to see me,and it was honest,and he texted me saying:i prefer not to see you now.we agreed on stoping this thing, and the sooner the better,take care.
So I called him to make sure he forgave me and there are no hard feelings.so,he said he did,and how this is not the first time for him to deal with this kind of situation,that we are cool and he is fine and that we are friends,but we shouldn't see each other now.we even laughed a little,and I told him I will give him his space,and that he has my number if he feels ready to see me again,so,he said:yes,I do have your number and we are cool now and no one is mad at the other.
How can I set this thing right and win him back?how long should I wait before calling him?cause I feel like calling him.and I just don't know what to say.help me out please