My story is a bit complicated so il try and get straight to the point. I was/am married, approx 2 years ago me and my husband split up and I started seeing this guy, we dated for approx 1 month then ended up splitting and me going back to my husband.

He broke up with me saying he wasn't ready for a relationship etc etc and I was gutted but got myself together and decided that I wanted to give my marriage another go. Me and my husband got back together and everything was fine, but every 3 months my ex would text me asking how I am etc etc. For the 1st 9 months I ignored him and then after that I text him back saying I was OK. He asked to meet up for a beer and I said yes sure. When we met we ended up kissing.To cut a long story short my ex was asking me to get back with him and I was saying no as he hurt me last time, I do love my husband and really need to get the passion back in our relationship.

I met my ex a few more times over the next 9 months (approx 4 times) and we kissed but nothing more, he was saying he still loved me and wanted me back. I found out that he was seeing so many women whilst pleading to get back with me. Now I know your going to think I've got a husband so why am I bothered, it just really hurt me that he was saying one thing and doing another.

Last month I found out he was going round to a friends house (a mate he has know since high school). He told me there was nothing going on with them (I saw her posts to him on Facebook and there obviousley was) anyway, I found out tonight (he told me that they slept together about one month ago, I'm just totally gutted). He says that its me he loves and not her, that he thinks of me everyday and wants us to get back together. It the lies that get me the most, saying he wasn't with her for all that time when he was.

I know I'm going to get a lot of flack saying that I shouldn't care and that I'm married, I haven't seen my ex since Nov, I have kept my distance because of my marriage, what I want to know is why does it hurt me that he is with all these other woman when at the same time he is trying to get back with me?? Im trying hard to make my marriage work and that's why I've stayed away for 5 months. My husband is the kindest person I've met, whereas my ex is a complete liar.

Why am I bothered what my ex does when I really don't love him??

People do not realize it but when they become intimately involved in a relationship, no matter how bad, they create a spiritual and emotional bond that even when the relationship is over they can find they still have strong feelings (usually in their heart and/or gut) that hurt when realities of their separation become more real to them.

I really don't think I love my ex, the last time we met I just looked at him and thought "no i have no physical attraction to him really" it was probably the attention thing. I know I need to be getting this attention off my husband not my ex.

Ive stayed away from my ex for 5 months, just in contact via text, why does it hurt me that he slept with his long time friend one month ago then?? The thing is I asked him to be straight with me and he was, and then I blew at him for being straight!!

The thought of them together in bed is now in my mind and I'm really hurting inside, it feels like he has cheated on me. This happened at the same time he was asking me to give him another chance. The thing is that he still goes round to this woman's house to see hr and her daughter, but says that she likes him but he has told her that he isn't interested (I don't know if that's true) he has told me so many lies over the years I just don't know what to believe anymore.

Im hurt and my heart is broken, but why is it when I don't think I love him??

No you most probably don't but the bond is still there or you wouldn't feel that way. The only other thing I can think that it could be is the 'if I can't have him nobody gets him' mentality but that is usually somebody that is mentally unstable or has self image or security issues.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

No you most probably don't but the bond is still there or you wouldn't feel that way. The only other thing I can think that it could be is the 'if I can't have him nobody gets him' mentality but that is usually somebody that is mentally unstable or has self image or security issues.

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I am quite down on myself latley and have had a lot of horrible things happen to me and I think that is why I think I let him treat me this way. He texts me and I respond then he won't reply for maybe a day or two, he is always hurting me and the other day he called me a liar and that I was crying wolf (iv got a cancer scare at the mo and because I wouldn't tell him what's wrong with me then me called me these horrible names.) Ive got a lump the size of a golf ball and haven't been to docs as I'm too scared

I think that he thinks that I will always be around so that's why he treats me like crap

You say you do not love the x and you want your marriage to work so YES you do have to distance yourself but you can't do it passively. If you do it passively the x will think you are just playing hard to get. You need to tell him flat out no more texts, no more contact of any kind. Don't reply or respond in any way after that. You don't love him so why play the cat and mouse game??
Then if you don't have contact you don't have updates that upset you.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

You say you do not love the x and you want your marriage to work so YES you do have to distance yourself but you can't do it passively. If you do it passively the x will think you are just playing hard to get. You need to tell him flat out no more texts, no more contact of any kind. Don't reply back or respond in any way after that. You don't love him so why play the cat and mouse game???

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That's the thing, I've been thinking this myself. Why play this game as I only end up wanting to find out about what he has been up to and end up getting hurt. Like I asked him if he had slept with her and he said yes, he can't love me if he is sleeping with her can he?

You are married so you shouldn't care WHO he sleeps with.
That is the bond I am talking about. You are still emotionally hung up on him. You can't break the bond so you NEED to totally break all ties and curiosity.

I know I should be concentrating on my marriage and not him, he has just rang me and said that they both got drunk (and it felt right at the time) but he told her he just wanted to be mates with her

I know I need to cut all ties with him, I'm going to try, but why is it so hard

I know people are going to think I'm a selfish cow, but I do love my husband dearly and he means the world to me. I just need to let go of this guy once and for all. I did it for 9 months after we broke up but seem to find it harder this time. My husband deserves better than this and I want to be the wife that I once was.

I need to know why I feel like I do,so that I can do something to stop me feeling this way and forget this guy. Its like he is a drug, the thing is that I've no real desire to meet him, all we have done is text for past few months as I make excuses not to meet up.

So why the hell is my heart broken when he slept with an old friend, and why is he still going round to her house every other day, even thouh they say that they are just back as mates, I'm got depressed over my mixed emotions

Why do I feel flaming depressed so badly about this? My ex is a constant liar so I could never trust him even if we got together like he wanted, sorry to keep harping on, I'm so low at the mo its unreal

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loulou1978;1659600]I need to know why I feel like I do

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Because your jealous at the thought he can be happy without you, and your very selfish.

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so that I can do something to stop me feeling this way and forget this guy.

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CUT OFF ABSOLUTELY ALL CONTACT FROM EACH OTHER!

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Its like he is a drug, the thing is that I've no real desire to meet him, all we have done is text for past few months as I make excuses not to meet up.

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See above response. Addicted people have to be separated from their drug to detox. This means you!!

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So why the hell is my heart broken when he slept with an old friend, and why is he still going round to her house every other day,

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That's how selfish you are, and why your jealous, you expect him to be sitting home crying over you, and he isn't. Seems he has a life without you. How dare he!!

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even thouh they say that they are just back as mates, I'm got depressed over my mixed emotions

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Who cares, its none of your business what he does is it?? If you stop contacting this fellow, and put as much thought, and action into being a good wife, your might deserve the good man you married.

You got life, and BS, all mixed up, and need to straighten your thinking out, so your action don't stink to high hell.

I think that was a bit harsh, I do not expect him to be sitting at home waiting for me tbh, its him that contacts me not the other way round more often than not.

Im no a selfish person, I think that is a wrong judgement personally, I have pointed out that I made a mistake kissing this guy and want to try and make my marriage work. Im not a horrible person and I DO love my husband, I just need to get the passion back in our 10 yr relationship.

Its like I want to keep in contact with this guy as sometimes but not many times is nice to me, he says he loves me and wants to be with me and then sleeps with all these other women, that's what I can't understand. His actions and his words don match up.

I was waiting for someone to come on and call me all the names under the sun as above and slate me, I understand everyone has there own opinions and I do appreciate everybodys comments even though some are hurtful.

I just want to know how I stop these feelings for the ex, I've told him to stop texting me etc etc but he still does, I really don't want to have to change my number but feel I may come to that

My ex has just rung me in floods of tears saying that it is me that he loves and wants me back?? This is exactley what I mean, I'm trying to move on and this is what happens. Im going to have to get a new mobile number

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Loulou1978;1659652]I think that was a bit harsh, I do not expect him to be sitting at home waiting for me tbh, its him that contacts me not the other way round more often than not.

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You still take his calls don't you? Then your allowing the contact and not stopping it.

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Im no a selfish person, I think that is a wrong judgement personally, I have pointed out that I made a mistake kissing this guy and want to try and make my marriage work. Im not a horrible person and I DO love my husband, I just need to get the passion back in our 10 yr relationship.

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Really, and you think by allowing him to distract you, and keep you from focusing on your husband, you'll get the passion back? I really don't believe that and think your making excuses and you love the attention this dude gives you.

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Its like I want to keep in contact with this guy as sometimes but not many times is nice to me, he says he loves me and wants to be with me and then sleeps with all these other women, that's what I can't understand. His actions and his words don match up.

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Your married and unavailable, geez, what's a guy supposed to do when your not there?? Come on, your jealous, and he is single, and can sleep with whom he wants. Its all about the attention he gives you. You can't let it go can you? Don't answer that, your actions don't match your words either.

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I was waiting for someone to come on and call me all the names under the sun as above and slate me, I understand everyone has there own opinions and I do appreciate everybodys comments even though some are hurtful.

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Haven't called you any names, merely pointed out what I think you have written, but NO, I don't like cheaters, and that's exactly what your doing and insulting everyone intelligence, by making it seem like the ex is the one being the bad guy and your just an innocent victim of circumstances. Your not, your doing your best to keep this guy around and keep it going, and your jealousy is obvious. That's selfish, to expect him to just give you what you want, just because your married and think you have power over him. What's worse, your actions are not that of someone trying to be a better wife and work on your marriage, but of someone who doesn't give a crap about the husband and thinks they can do as they please, outside the marriage and take no responsibility for their actions as long as you can blame it on someone else. That's arrogant of you.

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I just want to know how I stop these feelings for the ex, I've told him to stop texting me etc etc but he still does, I really don't want to have to change my number but feel I may come to that

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You have the perfect answer already, STOP ALL CONTACT WITH THE EX. It doesn't get any simpler than that, and if your for real about mending your marriage... you would have done it already, and done away with the excuses.

This guy ("the ex") is a player. He's amusing himself with you, as you are with him.

If you truly gave a **** about your husband, you wouldn't be giving a **** about what or who the other guy is doing.

Something is obviously lacking in your marriage. You are not going to fix it by bringing in another man on the side.

Tal is right. You have to cut off contact. Delete the texts before you read them. Do not answer the calls. It's that simple. You just don't want to.

Why? Because it's a thrill for you.

You're jealous of the other women because it hurts your ego.

Concentrate on yourself and your marriage and cut contact with this other guy.

I feel for your husband.

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Originally Posted by Survivor07

This guy ("the ex") is a player. He's amusing himself with you, as you are with him.

If you truly gave a **** about your husband, you wouldn't be giving a **** about what or who the other guy is doing.

Something is obviously lacking in your marriage. You are not going to fix it by bringing in another man on the side.

Tal is right. You have to cut off contact. Delete the texts before you read them. Do not answer the calls. It's that simple. You just don't want to.

Why? Because it's a thrill for you.

You're jealous of the other women because it hurts your ego.

Concentrate on yourself and your marriage and cut contact with this other guy.

I feel for your husband.

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I feel for my husband too and know he deserves better than this hence me writing this thread. I do love my husband very much and I know we need to get that spark back into our marriage. I understand that I won't help by keeping in touch with this guy. When he rung me last night he was in floods of tears.

I know people are going to think that I get what I deserve, but I'm not a bad person I'm just a lady that has got in a rut and wants to be happy again. The ex will leave me alone when he has found a new lady but when he gets bored he comes back to me telling me he loves me etc etc. I don't know why I asked if he slept with the long time friend of his, part of me wanted to know I suppose and hoped he say no I think. That's the thing, I don't expect him to stay in single, its him who is asking me for a relationship not the other way round.

I have a nice husband, sports car, nice big house, go on nice holidays (we are going to new zealand and oz in a few eeks for a month) but I'm just not happy and fulfilled like most people would that had this.
I don't want to hurt my husband, he is my priority even though some people don't think so, I know that the ex is using me, he told me that he was going on holiday when in fact he was meetng his girlfriend last year.

Im so confused and know that the best and only real thing to do to stop this is NC, I'm just so confused to why I would be drawn to my ex who gave me nothing, lied to me, and was generally abusive to me when I have a fantastic hubby at home. Im completley nuts I know but that's how I feel

Thanks for all your replys so far

You keep saying your not a bad person but you're a confuse one.

I thought you was trying to rebuild your marriage, what happen to that? You are going backward instead of forward and this is helping your marriage how?

You need to get on point and stop cheating because kissing a guy behind your husband back is cheating.

This guy wasn't ex but someone you had an affair with. He done move on and is free to sleep with whoever he wants. Maybe counseling is in order here. The only thing I saw in your posts were things about this guy but not your husband and it doesn't seems like your really that focus on him and if you aren't you should leave him alone by leaving for good. The only thing I saw you write about your husband is " I have a nice husband, sports car, nice big house, go on nice holidays (we are going to new zealand and oz in a few eeks for a month) but im just not happy and fulfilled like most people would that had this".

Your not over this guy because you love him and that is why your maintaining contact with him behind your husband back and writing things like "this guy want a relationship with me, he calls me,etc". You have a part in it too and is of blame. You sound like a selfish person that wants her cake and ice cream too but you want this guy to be only committed to you. He would be a fool to do that especially since your married.

I'm not saying you're a bad person at all.

I just strongly disagree with carrying on extra-marital affairs--physically and/or emotionally.

You're right about the other guy using you when he's bored. You're doing the same thing. Maybe not because you're bored, but you are "unfulfilled" and you're fixated on this other guy to solve your problems. You know he won't.

I think you're looking for happiness in someone else, and you know you can't do that because you're the only one who can make you happy. You can't look to someone else to do that.

Maybe some soul-searching is in order to figure out what you want out of life and what would make you fulfilled---a career, hobbies, children whatever it may be. The answer lies in you, not in someone else. Best wishes

You hit the nail on the head I think survivor, I only kissed this guy twice (and I know thts twice too many times before it gets said), he wanted me for sex but I said I couldn't. I am unfulfilled and think I may be trying to find that fulfilment in this guy for some reason rather than my husband.

Like I said I do love my husband and thinking of my life without him makes me sad. I think I have realised that men like my hubby don't come along too often, people are always telling me how lucky I am too have a guy like him. I think I may have taken him for granted after nearly 10 yrs together.

Ive told the other guy that I think we need to stop contacting each other and he said fine but I know he will get back in touch in a few weeks out of the blue.

I should be looking forward to my trip of a lifetime in 4 weeks with my hubby, and I do think it will be a good thing as to give me a little distance from the ex and a time to spend some quality time with the hubby. I don't suppose that you really appreciate what you really have until its too late, and many people feel the grass is always greener on the otherside.

As for others saying that I expect him too be single and a my beck and call, nothing could be further from the truth, id love him too meet someone and be happy, it's the ex that likes to contact me more often than not. I understand that the ex is single and can do as he pleases, but what hurts me is that hefeels the need to tell me everything about the other women when he knows it hurts me. Its like he is doing it out of spite because I won't be with him. He says that these other women mean nothing and he does not love any of them like he loves me. He says he thinks of me everyday, where I am and what I'm doing etc etc.

I need to be strong and do NC and stick to it

The other guy sounds immature. It doesn't sound like love either. How could it be? You were with him for a month during a separation from your husband, at the end of which he told you he wasn't ready for a relationship. You haven't had sex. You kissed. It just doesn't make sense.

You then go back to your husband... why? Because you were afraid of being alone? Or because you really missed/love your husband?

Then you stayed in contact with this other guy while attempting to save your marriage. Impossible. No wonder you feel the way you do right now.

If he was a decent man, he would leave the married woman alone.

He's a waste of your time. He likes to tell you about other women, and you listen! Why? If it hurts, then don't have any contact with him. That's the point of NC. Especially because you are married!!

You cannot have true intimacy with your husband while you're thinking of this other guy. If you had done NC when you reunited with your husband from the beginning, this guy wouldn't be an issue now.

The best thing for you to do is have a heart to heart with your husband while you're on your vacation. Tell him how you feel, about how the spark has been missing and that you want to get it back, as long as that is really what you want. If you don't and you don't love him, then you need to tell him that, too.

It takes two for the marriage to work.

Just be honest. Your husband deserves that.

Thank you for you reply again, me and the hubby have had the "where has the spark gone" talk so many times, and its fine for the few weeks after the talk but then goes back to how it used to be. Its like I'm living with my brother not lover, we sleep in separate bedrooms (coz he snores) not because we don't want to sleep together. We spend no time together and I feel like we have no physical intimacy.

When I got my with my husband after we split the other guy was calling me and I did NC with him for 9 MONTHS!! I was so proud of myself and was slowley and very slowley moving on. Everyday for the 9 months I thought of this guy and what he was doing etc, I'm so mad that I had a weak point and gave in to answer his texts. He will use any excuse to text me, e.g. a friend of ours passed away and thought I should know which was kind of him but just put me back ten steps.

Why can't I get the ex out of my head? Its been over two yrs since we split and I still thing of him everyday? But when we met up last approx 5 months ago I looked at him and thought that I don't fancy him hence me thinking this could be a case of it's the trill of the chase? But it does hurt me when he sleeps with others and rubs it in.

My husband is a good man, he will do anything for me and vice versa and if I could get this ex out of my life then we may have a fighting chance. I know that the ex is a compulsive liar (even his friends warned me over this) he just tells lie after lie, what hurts me me the most is that he told me he was just mates with this woman and then went and slept with her, I know I have no hold on what he does but its just the lying that kills me. I have found out he lies to me about loads of things from tiny little white lies to massive ones, what is really annoying is that even if I didn't have a hubby and say wanted to make a life with my ex, I just couldn't trust him so then that makes me think then what is all this about? Why am I even bothering with him when even if I did get together with him, if I wasn't married then I wouldn't be able to trust him? How silly does that sound.

I know that I need to put the effort that I'm using with the ex into building my marriage, oh I forgot to put in the above post that when I ask my ex why does he keep in contact he says that we have a bond, that he just can't walk away from me?

If I'm honest with myself which I try to be otherwise il get know where, I think the ex is using me as a filler in between girls, I'm so hurt and need to start this NC asap.

Thanks again for your help and sorry about the rambling on xx

I'll try to explain what I was trying to get across in another way and see if it helps any better. You are romanticising the past with him and remembering all the good times. Maybe he was even more exciting than your current husband BUT you need to remember WHY you broke up. IF you get back with him or even get involved with him enough to ruin your marriage the result most probably will be that you will regret that you kept playing this game with him because you will once again see (relive) exactly why you left him in the first place.

What do you think your husband would say about your guy on the side. Think he will take you on a monthly holiday? Or ride in your snazzy sports car?

That's one of the things that bothers me most, is how you take your husband for granted, and have so much emotion for boy toy.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

What do you think your husband would say about your guy on the side. Think he will take you on a monthly holiday? Or ride in your snazzy sports car?

Thats one of the things that bothers me most, is how you take your husband for granted, and have so much emotion for boy toy.

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I DO NOT take my husband for granted, I have made a mistake and are trying tp put things right, all you seem to do is put me down rather than try and help me. I thought this site was for helping people not hurting them even more than they are hurting? Maybe I'm wrong. Ive told the BOY TOY as you so nicley put it that I don't want to see or hear from him again and he has done that for the past couple of days but I know he will be back in a few weeks. That's MY PROBLEM - I tell him to leave me alone but he won't and then pulls on my emotional strings to get me to contact him.

Im not a bad person and I'm trying very hard to make this marriage works and not take the easy option of running away, it was my idea to book the holiday back in Nov when he contacted me again as I thought the break and distance would do me and my hubby good.

I can 200% say that il never ever meet this ex again, but if he won't stop texting me etc what can I do. He has even told me that he has come to my house some nights and sits outside. In June when it was my birthday he bought me a pressie and at that point he had not even seen me for a few months so he came to my house and saw that me and hubby were in and decided to go home and give the gift to his mum. This was at the time he had a girlfriend as well.!

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

I'll try to explain what I was trying to get across in another way and see if it helps any better. You are romanticising the past with him and remembering all the good times. Maybe he was even more exciting than your current husband BUT you need to remember WHY you broke up. IF you get back with him or even get involved with him enough to ruin your marriage the result most probably will be that you will regret that you kept playing this game with him because you will once again see (relive) exactly why you left him in the first place.

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Nohelp4u, thanks for your comment, I understand now more clearly your valid point. I wish there were a lot of good times that we had but most of the time he treated my like poo and ignored my texts whe we were together. We broke up because he couldn't commit (one week after sleeping with me), he said that he had too much in his head to deal with me and that he still loved me but couldn't give 100% to me. Ive since heard that he does this with all his girlfriends, he gets involved and then when things get serious he bails out and runs to the hills. When the split happened it was a wake up call for me, I assessed my life and what I wanted and realised that id been a fool to leave my hubby. I was honest with my hubby and told him about this guy and he said he too wanted to try again and move on which we did until 9 months later when the ex was calling me again.

This is the crazy thing about this whole mess, I don't even want the other guy deep down, I wish he would leave me alone and let me try and build my marriage, but after a few weeks of NC he is back texting me etc saying that we have this bond etc?

I'm just having a moment of weakness so thought it would be better for me to ranr on here then call the ex. Ive suggested that me and the hubby go to the pics tomorrow which we haven't done for years, the only quality time we spend together is walking the dog at night!! This is why I get so down, I've recently lost my job so have way too much time on my hands which is making me and my mind go into overtime wondering mode.

Excellent move, coming here instead of the ex. Also recognizing a problem (to much time on your hands) is half the solution.

There is much hope for you, as your figuring out ways to make yourself happy. Keep going.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Excellent move, coming here instead of the ex. Also recognizing a problem (to much time on your hands) is half the solution.

There is much hope for you, as your figuring out ways to make yourself happy. Keep going.

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Thank you for your encouragement, I don't want to hurt my hubby, that's the last thing I want. He has been there for me through thick and thin and I very much appreciate what he has done for me. My ex would never have done half the things my hubby does for me, the ex can't be relied on at all, he runs at the first sign of a problem then appears when he thinks all is well and good.

Ive got way too much time on my hands, due to me being made redundant I've not got loads of cash to splash so I try and do free things like walk the dog etc etc and it helps whilst I'm doing that but then I get home and realise that my problems are still there.

My ex hasn't contacted me in 2 days but I know that he is just biding his time tbh, he says we have a bond and that he loves me like he has loved no other etc etc

I agree with the earlier statement of you romanticizing the time you had with your "ex". You just really miss the excitement, the attention--NOT HIM.

Try to quit dwelling on the words "have a bond and he loves me". They're just words. They're crap.

Continue to work on your bond with your husband.

You said you told your husband about this guy when you reunited. I'm betting you have not told him about the texts, etc. because if you could, and if you TRULY did want the texts to stop, your husband might be willing to give him a good earful next time he calls.

I also think it's creepy if he's sitting outside your house (if that's even true. You said he's a liar). The guy sounds like a nut.

He's definitely a player. He's playing headgames with you. Stop letting him. Can't you block his number from your phone?

I still like the idea of having hubby answer the next call. He, he

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Survivor07;1665595]I agree with the earlier statement of you romanticizing the time you had with your "ex". You just really miss the excitement, the attention--NOT HIM.

Try to quit dwelling on the words "have a bond and he loves me". They're just words. They're crap.

Continue to work on your bond with your husband.

You said you told your husband about this guy when you reunited. I'm betting you have not told him about the texts, etc. because if you could, and if you TRULY did want the texts to stop, your husband might be willing to give him a good earful next time he calls.

I also think it's creepy if he's sitting outside your house (if that's even true. You said he's a liar). The guy sounds like a nut.

He's definitely a player. He's playing headgames with you. Stop letting him. Can't you block his number from your phone?

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Thanks for your reply, yes he has been too my house, he told my friend things he would only know if he came to my house. Ive not told my hubby about the calls because he would get mad and I don't want that to happen. The guy is a nut, he just uses me as a stop gap when he isn't got other women and then says that these other women mean nothing to him.

Your right when you say it's the excietment that I miss not him, as I'm not physically attracted to him and he is a nutter, but a nutter that gives me attention and tells me he loves me. The ex turned round to a mate of mine and says that he likes playing head games and that he has had a lot of practice in his life of it so is very good at it?? I can't believe he would brag about that.

He just isn't a generally nice person either, last week he called me a liar and that I'm crying wolf when I told him I'm not well and very scared about my health, just because I didn't want to tell him what was wrong with me (cancer scare), he told one of my male friends that "he can have me" and that he would nenver ever go back to me again, never ever!! He just opens his mouth and says nasty things to me and then thinks he can these apologise and say sorry later. I mean imagine how I felt, I'm sat here with a cancer scare and he turns round and calls me a liar.I think it is very childish behaviour.

He likes playing head games and that he has had a lot of practice in his life

This right here should be enough to warn you to not even answer any messages from him.
Look at him as a threat and his mission is to screw your life up. Sounds like he is out for revenge for whatever reasons he has formed in his little mind.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

he likes playing head games and that he has had a lot of practice in his life

This right here should be enough to warn you to not even answer any messages from him.
Look at him as a threat and his mission is to screw your life up. Sounds like he is out for revenge for whatever reasons he has formed in his little mind.

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Do you know what Nohelp4u, that was exactley what I was thinking, maybe he is out to screw my life up? Because who would say such nasty things about me if he loved me e.g I'm crying wolf or lying because I said I was ill and couldn't tell him why (because I didn't want him to worry over me) I mean, I could have cancer for gods sake!!

He just plays mind games. He will tell me something that will hurt me and il tell him not to contact me again, so he don't do for a while and at that point he knows its killing me inside not to have him in contact. Then I get over him and he comes back.

Is it just me or is someone that brags about being good at mind games no right upstairs?? I just don't know what to think anymore, he is screwing with my mind big time

There's no doubt he is creepy but this is what happen sometimes with the people you let into your life.

To be honest I wouldn't put anything past him because who knows if and when he is going take his creepiness to the next level.

To many things are happening in the news from people like him. Fatal Attraction somes to mind. I think your husband should know what is happening so he could be on the look out because you have a obsessed guy of the loose. Oh course he is going be mad, especially once he finds up you was keeping contact with this guy, but he needs to know and shouldn't be kept a secret.

Players hate it when someone gets away.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Players hate it when someone gets away.

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Sorry you lost me on that one??

He hates that your not with him.

I see, he don't seem like he don't care at the moment!! He is probably away with another bit of skirt as I type, that's what gets me why am I bothered?? I get so mad at myself for letting me be bothered. Then I start thinking of them in bed together and my mind is going into overdrive. Why do we do this to ourselves?? I've read a few posts on here from people who do the same (think of there ex in bed with someone else), I nderstand that relationships are a part of life but I wish I had just not asked if he had slept with her

You need to see him for what he is, jumping from female to female whenever he wants, and he is not an ex, because he has many women and you were just one. You got played and would have been played some more had you not ended it.

When ever you think of him, that's a sign you need to find something else to do with yourself. Make a meal for your husband.