I shared good relation with my friends in group but one friend came & told the whole group that I am having a bed character & I lied to them I tried to convince them that person is wrong but with help of other friends of my friends he some how proved me wrong now whole group is against me & told outside people of college also about it and even teachers but this is done behind doors now nobody in college want to be friends with me they daily put me in problematic situation I don't know who to complaint even my family also believes them I am in trouble please help me.

If you know the person who started saying bad things about you,I would ask them why they are lying and I would try to convince others that what was said was untrue.

If they do not believe you when you tell the truth than they were not your true friends to begin with.

Make new friends.

I am not understanding how someone can prove you wrong, if your telling the truth. Please provide more specific details, and your age please.

Do you have spell check?

Hi again
As u said you want more details. I am 28 years old I had lived studies for 9 years but didn't told my college friends about it but some people were noing it but I had no bed intentions behind hiding that I am not of their age but one boy from our group was trobling me by calling daily on phone because he was in love with the girl who was my good friend. That boy has told me that but I was so much trobled by him so I told that girl about it that this boy is trobuling me you do something about it she was not intrested in that boy she told one of other two friends from group & we all not talking to that boy. But that boy was obsassed for my friend she was so much irritated with him she was noing that boy & told e that boy was not at all good I believed her & helped her even sometimes protected her but I don't no from where that boy got to know about my age & he took revenge & told every one in college I am lier I sepreted him from his girl friend every one believed him even that girl also went on her side and they also told teachers about it now nobody want to see my face when I told my parents they also didn't believed me. Now daily they troble me laugh on me and I don't no how to tacle them because avery one is on their side even teachers. I am depressed please tell me what to do.

Whew, that's a lot of drama, and deceit, but what do you expect from young kids? They are not the only ones in the world, but are the nosiest and most trouble some.

How long do you have to put up with them before this group thing is over?

Looks like ignoring them and spending the least amount of time with them as possible is your best choice.

Unfortunately, your friendship with this best friend, blew up in your face, and you know she isn't a friend at all. Be glad you know that.

It is very hard to understand what you are really trying to say. I am assuming that English is not your first language?

There must be something going on if even your parents and teachers aren't believing you. I still not clear on what lie you've told?

You are 28 yrs. Old? Something is not adding up here! What country are you from, if you don't mind. You don't have to say a specific place, just the country might help us understand, as there seems to be somewhat of a language barrier.

Threads merged AGAIN Cheeez!

Hi,
I stay in india. I am not from english medium that's why problem is there. See we were best of friends that is why I told them every thing about myself , my family baground , my habits , my weakneses etc. Now they are taking advantage of it. I am not at all talking to them now but they are proving that they still are my friends in front of my family that is why my family is not beliving me. Every one in college is not talking to me even teachers are also on their side because they were in college since 5 years & I joind from 2 years so teachers know them very well they believe them. They are daily teasing me harasing me in difrent ways and I can't concentrate on studyies. I am trying to avoid them but they are in my classes & even in college so have no choise because I paid money in class & college now I can't leave it . Now I don't know what to do please help me out nobody believes me I am a good student I don't want to spile my last year of college. I AM Depressed I will go mad because I am not able to solve this since4 months please reply me soon.


THANKS

Hi jiniliya...

I can understand how bad situation you are in... Its very sad that your own friends are exploiting your weaknesses... Trust is very important in firnedship... Why don't you try talking to each of them personally... If you talk to them in groups,they might not allow you to talk much... talk to them individually and see if you can make them understand how bad you feel... And try to revive your friendship with them... talk about good things,try gpoing out for a trip with them so that their focus shifts from you to other things like having fun...

Hope this helps... Even I am from India

Hi ,

You should not be woried, their must be something you also know about them.

Else try to show everybody that they are not friend , same back stabing to the people from their side , After some time you might get rid of them

Hi Starbuck8

Maybe I can try and put Jiniliya's case in a better way

She was part of a group of a few friends in her college... she is 28 years old but this fact was not known to her friends and they were much younger to her in age... One of the guys was obsessed or madly after Jiniliya's friend... He used to call up Jiniliya and talk about her friend so that he could somehow get close to her... Jiniliya tried to protect her friend by trying to avoid that guy... But that guy came to know about this and also the fact that jiniliya was 28 years old.. To take revenge on her,he started spreading rumors about her and her character... Then all her friends also believed in his false words... Now all of them and also most of the people in her college avoid talking to her due to rumors that were spread by that guy

Hope this helps

Hi again
I saw what member ( giri_passport ) has written about my case I am thankful to he/she for putting my case in better way that is exactly what happened to me. & very thankful to others for helping.
I tried to tell them personaly also but they are gone away from me now I also don't discuss things with them. I am so scared that people give a look like I am a bed person this iritate me who ever comes to talk to me naxt day that person behaves same way like others. They made my position so bed I really scare to go to college. I lost my confidense badely. Before this issue my position was very good every one was liking me my result was also good teachers were also liking me but now every one tries to avoid me laugh on me from behind I don't know what to do. They were one day telling me why don't u give exam as outsider that person who has done all this taken admission in the same classes where I am. I am fedup with this. Whole day at home I sit at one place I don't eat well I so scared because each day at college they plan something new to irritate me. I don't think I can study my last year in this state of mind. Please help me.

jiniliya, you do not need to start another question, just scroll down, and put your feed back there!

Be careful when you hit the back button as your question will not appear, but by refreshing the page, you will see it and have no need to duplicate it again.

I'm don't know how much longer you have to run into these people, but as Tal said, be happy that you now know that these people are not friends, and will only cause a lot of drama. If you know that you haven't lied, then hold your head up and just ignore all of this drama and game playing.

I'm still a little confused as to why your parents and the teachers are involved in this, and why they aren't believing you. Is there perhaps a little more to this story?

I'm sorry for your troubles. Is it possible for you to go above the teachers and talk to someone higher up?

And is there more to the story? Or maybe it's a cultural thing? I can't understand it either why your parents won't believe you and why the teachers are being fooled by a bunch of kids...

Like Tal said; be glad that you know the truth... these people aren't good friends and they don't seem to have the ability to think for themselves.

Hi
I actuly pressed the wrong button & wrongly unsubscribed the last question & lost mudweiser's response on my question I don't know how to get it back because each response on this issue is important for me please see to it.
I know I have to come out from this any how but I am scared so much & as you said go to hire othority that is done by them now I don't think they will listen to my side. I don't know how to solve it I am clue less.

Ok,

One: A lot of misspelled words, and a spell check would be appreciated, since a lot of words were misspelled. Which this may indicate that you are way to young to even be having relationship problems.

Two: since I don't have the problem in front of me, what was your problem?

Hi Jiniliya,

We all are trying to help you in your problems... please don't feel so depressed and lonely that you might start regretting everything that happens to you...

The best way is to pursue some of your passions... what are your hobbies? Spend a lot of time doing what excites you... maybe music,singing,dancing or reading... Try to take out all negative thoughts from your mind and look ahead with hope...

By the way,I too stay in India,Bangalore

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by giri_passport

Hi Jiniliya,

We all are trying to help you in your problems.....please dont feel so depressed and lonely that you might start regretting everything that happens to you.....

The best way is to pursue some of your passions....what are your hobbies? spend a lot of time doing what excites you....maybe music,singing,dancing or reading.....Try to take out all negative thoughts from your mind and look ahead with hope...

By the way,i too stay in India,Bangalore

---

Yes, it is time to stop focusing on this group of friends, and start focusing on more positive things. Getting stuck in this rut will only bring you down, and make you more depressed. Focus on other activities that make you happy. You could perhaps volunteer a bit of your spare time to help others. Volunteering makes you feel good about something you are doing that is useful. Don't focus on the negative. You are young, and you will meet other friends. These other people weren't true friends. Up the bar in the future, and don't worry about these people who are only trying to bring you down.

I agree with both girl w passport and Starby, it really does seem as if you need to start focusing on other things.

Your former friends were really your friends and It most be terrible for you to deal with them, their lies and the teachers who believe them... but you need to focus on activities that you enjoy...

If you have no extra activities going on right now next to school, and if you have time for it maybe there are some activities or classes out side of school... in that way you'll meet other people who are interested in the same things as you...

Maybe art, ot painting, sculpting, reading groups, sports etc.

People who join classes and groups like this usually do this because they like it and are positive about it. It can give you a break from all the negativity at school.

how much longer do you have to be in that school? 6 months? A year?

HI, again

As all of you said I tried to avoid those mean friends but they were roaming around my house & told this things to some girls & now when ever I go out they try to avoid me if I smile to them they try not to do it. In college also they irritated me because they know they have backing of teachers & other students. This is going difficult for me to tackle.

jiniliya
As you asked I answered your question now please start the replays of my quaries & if u have any problem related to me please ask me.

This school of your has got to have a principal or a head master right.Go talk to him.If that does not make it stop, go talk to the parents of the guy who started all this.If that does not work ignore them.Who needs enemies when you have friends like these

jiniliya
They still behave like they care for me & they call me at my sell though I didn't take their calls I put my sell on silent to ignore them they send me massage on my sell phone because of this my mom thinks they are still my good friends & she is not ready to believe me. This students have very good relationship with teachers on admission day they were in principle's cabin for more then three hours on that day every one got admission who later in college & I was there from 6 am. But I didn't get the admission they told me to go & come tomorrow for admission but as I reached home those people called me at home & told me that their admission is done. This shows their relationship with teachers. They already told principle about this thing now I didn't see any hope that they will listen to me. I whole day cry I not able to study like this they come on my bench and say something weired & I can't say anything. I feel if I say anything they will take me to court now this is remaining in my life. I am depressed because this is not ending.

Once again I am confused. I understand this is likely because of the language barrier. How or why could they take you to court?

You can live in fear, and let them rule your thoughts, and actions, or you can protect yourself by ignoring them, and dealing with their lies, with the truth.

Your giving them more power than they deserve, or is called for. Court? Come on, what do they have that a court would be interested in?

Quote:

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Because of this my mom thinks they are still my good friends & she is not ready to believe me.

---

Whether she is ready or not, you must tell her the truth. Your handling this badly, and have made the whole school look like they are against you.

Jinilya
Right now I am avoiding them but one girl from that group comes daily on my bench try irritate me say something weired. This is their daily strategy & I can't say anything to them because I afraid. The teacher who was praising me came to our class to teach I smiled at her but ignored me and went to the bench where this group was siting & they all laughed at me. This is why I didn't complaint because they have already proved that I am wrong.

They have proved nothing! Your fear has allowed you to be a victim of their harassment. Stand up for yourself, but be smart about it.

You must go over their heads to someone of a higher authority, and make their actions know. Your own inaction is what's perpetrating this situation. Your fear is what gives those bullies their power.

jiniliya HI

That friends who were troubling me told this whole things to my building people now they started avoiding me when ever I give a look to any one they turn their face. So I changed the class & college because there was no other way left. In new class some of old friends of that college were there & again they started same thing to me. Yet I have not told every one exactly in which college I took admission. I didn't want to carry all this in that other college I didn't know how far I can hide it that I am in which college. I thought after leaving college & class these things will stop but it does not seems like that.

What on earth are these people saying about you? It must be pretty bad if people act like this!

Yes, What was said that made this whole thing so unbearable and made people not even stand the look of you?

jiniliya
That is the thing I didn't know what exactly they are talking about this issue. It must have been something really weared that is why people behave this way with me. I went to new place but still it is not working. It is not ending from their side I didn't know what is the solution for this problem.

You must be in a really small town, for them to find you. You may need some legal assistance, like a cop.

jiniliya
In this new class there was only one girl from that college & spread this whole thing to every one if there is students only I can avoid them but they involve teachers also & I lost myself confidence so badly that I can't stand in front of any one. In new class people hesitate to sit beside me I do not care about that but this way I can't live my life peace fully. I have yet not told any one about my new college but it is near by my class so they will definitely find it. You said you need legal assistance but how? No one believes me I didn't have any proof & they know this & I am helpless.

You are acting as though you have committed a crime and deserve to be punished. You say you have done nothing wrong, so why not act like it? Change your cell number, go to another city or town on the weekends you don't have school, and find a new group of friends farther away.

You should ask your family what these people said to them, so you know what the rumor is. Once you have this information, you should schedule an appointment with your teachers to explain that there are people trying to hurt your character. You may explain this to others whose opinions you value as well, but DO NOT speak to your enemies any longer. Act as if they do not exist; if they come to your home, tell your family to ignore them and call the police to have them removed from your property. If they bother you at your bench, sit elsewhere or change your routine.

Above all, remember that you are the same person you were before this happened. There are millions of people in your country, not everyone knows or will believe such rumors. Find new friends, and let go of those who are useless.

jiniliya
I tried to convince my parents to ask people what the rumor is but they deny to do that. They say such thing can not happen no one can go up to this extent. Now no body is interested in solving my problem & raises day by day & I am clue less what to do.

Hi Jiniliya,

What place do you stay in?

Maybe someone needs to talk to that bunch of friends of yours... You are taking all these instances too seriously and hence you seem to be depressed each passing day... Just try to ignore whatever they say

They might say it for a few days but when they see that you are not getting affected by it anymore, they will stop.

jiniliya
I stay in Mumbai I didn't know how to come out of this I look so depressed from face because I became so lonely & scared & they are knowing I am affected by their behaviour so do it more & more.

You need someone to help you sort this out. Be it authorities, or a trusted relative, its obvious you can't go through this alone.

jiniliya
I have change that place but people who know us are same & we stay near so very difficult to hide the place where I took admission. In my new class some are from that old college too they keep on asking me where I took admission through others but I lied to them that still I am in same college even in class register I have written my old college name because I am scared that hear also they spread same things to make my life miserable no one is there who can stop them I didn't know what will happen next.

jiniliya
Those people went to my teachers and ask the addresses of my old friends to know why I lived study nine years ago. They must have told them every thing. From these friends one knows about my relatives also they went to them & told every thing what happened. I have not told my relatives that I am doing T.Y.BCOM I felt like if I tell every one they laugh on me. My friends took advantage of this thing & proved us layers I got to know this when one of our relatives came to our house enquiring about me & my father. My father does not stay with us he has taken diksha he stayes in iscon temples we didn't know where is he right now. I changed my phone number but from next day I got some miss calls from different numbers I called on one number that was a PCO number I asked the lady where that PCO it was in same area where I go for classes I bought the sim card from my society that shop keeper was telling me he knows all my details I didn't understand that what he was trying to say now I know he must have given my number to this people.
I was getting sms from HDFC BANK I told them I have no account in bank some one is miss using my number they told we will remove your number from our list but they didn't tell me about the person using my number. This thing is increasing day by day and my mom & sister they are so innocent that they are not ready to believe that any one can go to such extant.
Now I think I have to take some help from a detective agency but I didn't have that much money & my family will not going to allow me to do this & I am also scared that they may mix that detective with them then I will be in much more trouble.
I didn't know how to solve this can you people help me. I stay in MUMBAI instead of detective if one of you can come to help me out then I will be safe. Please help me. Some times I think I do suicide & every thing will end but this will be wrong with my family.
Please tell me what to do?


As quick as possible.