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My girl and I have been together for 15 months and she's thinking of breaking up with me. One night she went to a party and when she came back she thought I was mas(I wasn't) and now she thinks io don't trust her, which I do. I can't sleep and I have a throwing up feeling all the time, I love this girl and I don't want to lose her. I'm a little clingy when she gets upset or mad at me , I really love this girl and need help please...
COMMUNICATE with each other!! You guys seriously need to sit down, talk about the issues, and work it out, otherwise, jump to the next possible solution... break up.
What do I do when the girl I love thinks I can't trust her and is now thinking of breaking up with me, but I love her and don't want her to
Why does she think you can't trust her? Does she feel crowded? Need some more info.
She went to a party one night and when she came back she thought I was mad but I wasn't and she thought I didn't trust her when she went the party
How were you feeling when she came back from the party? You can be honest here, since no one knows you.
I was tired from shopping all day with her and I was a little down because she got to go out and I didn't
Well no, you need to talk to her obviously, what reasons are there for her to feel you don't trust her? I doubt she would break up with you just for that unless it seems to her you are acting quite paranoid and possibly 'clingy'. Just ask her what's wrong and tell her you like her a lot and are willing to change/ 'work on it' and if it is because you are being paranoid or clingy then give her room or it will never work...
You need to give a little more info.
Okay. So you were more feeling left out than distrustful. It sounds like a misunderstanding. It also sounds like she is supersensitive to this issue.
I would give her some time to cool off, then ask her to tell you how she felt when she got back and really let her know you are listening. Then when she feels like she's been heard, you can explain again that you were not distrustful, more envious and you are sorry for being negative when she got back. Hopefully, she can open up and let you know why she reacted so strongly to this. It's important that you listen to her first before you justify yourself.
Good luck!
But when she says to me"i need to think about our relationship" it scares me and the other day she also told me that she also had feeling for someone else and now I djust don't no what to do
It maybe seems like she is making up some sort of excuse to break up. The way she is acting comes across as quite childish. Talk to her, listen to everything she has to say just tell her everything you are feeling if you love her you should be able to. I am not jumping to conclusions but she could possibly (THIS IS ONLY A POSSIBLILITY) she could already be seeing someone and is reflecting her 'negativity' on you by saying you are can't trust her as she may feel guilty... I hope this makes some sense... To me the way she is acting is a little out of order and she should tell you the truth. Now act calm relaxed, positive and willing to let her speak. However I personally don't think she is worth it if she is having other feelings and is generally acting a little 'bizare'. (But talk to her but don't be mean/judgemental just be mature and relaxed about it all and hopefully she will open up a bit)
How old are you?
19
Every girl is different, there is no one thing to say. Give us some more info on you relationship and why do you think she is going to break up with you and maybe we can help you more.
Well um.. she thinks I don't trust her which I do and we do have little fights over nothing and sometimes one of them will build up and be really bad
Ok and what are her reasons for you not trusting her? If it where little fights over nothing then you wouldn't have posted this thread... obviously you are concerned so please elaborate a bit so we can accurately assist you. Is it over other males? Going out? What are the fights about? Is there a pattern? How long have you dated your girlfriend? Do you two have anything in common? Or is the basis of your fights related to difference of opinions? To what extent of seriousness is your relationship? What is the main issue around the un-trustworthiness from your position?Quote:
Originally Posted by R1U1S1T1Y1
Well me and my girl have been going out for 15 months now and the fights are about stupid little things that we disagree on and sometimes I don't say the right things and I make it worse, I live about 20 nminutes away from her and cause of school and everything I can only see her on the weekends, when we don't fight we have an awesome time. Its just I think I can't say the right things and its really messing things up with us and the other night she thought I didn't trust her because she came back from a party and she thought I was mad but I wasn't and last nigh she said that she also had feelings for someone else which I don't no is true or but it makes me scared. I really love this girl and I don't want to lose her
Ahh, well she said she may have feelings for someone else and this may be true. Has she officially broken it off? You both sound very, very young and love is not the term you should be using after 15 months but rather you care a great deal and have serious interest in her... possibly evolving to love in the future. Thing is if you two have not a lot in common many disagreements can occur. You of course must mind your temper and value her difference of opinion. If she is difficult then I suggest you let it go... if you are putting out more energy into the relationship then you have another dilemma. You can start by telling her how you truly feel and apologize for any wrongdoing you have made in the relationship and involve her by asking how you could improve on being a better boyfriend. Embrace yourself for hearing things you don't want to (keep an open mind and don't become angry... let her talk) and make a promise to her and yourself to start making changes or compromises and how you intend to carry it out.Quote:
Originally Posted by R1U1S1T1Y1
If someone wants to break up with you
There is nothing you can do to change there mind. And why would you want to?
If someone does not want to be with you. Why waist your time on them
But she says she still has feelings for me and I don't want to lose her
B.S
Girls say that all the time when they break up with you
100 girls I was with kid. They said the same thing..
Oh I love you.. Oh you will always be special!
Geee I wish we could be together forever!
They are just words! And they are cheap
Actions speak louder than words..
The reason why people say these things
Is to make themselves feel better
And less guilty
If she had feelings for you.
She would not like someone else and she would still be with you wouldn't she?
The odds are stacked.
You live far away from her
She has feeling for someone else? I man come on
Don't get blind kid ;)
Open your eyes
And move on
BTU she hasn't broken up with me yet she says its about 50/50 I just need to no the right things to say to make her believe that I do trust her and that I can fix things to help our relationship
She's coming up with an excuse to break up - there is someone else and she wants to give them a spin. Something may have even happened at the party and attacked you as a way to displace attention.
No guarantees this is the case, but it reads like that to me.
Tell her this then..
Tell her how you feel about her.
How you love spending time with her.
And how you are willing to really work at this relationship.
Then Ask her. If she is willing to put the effort in as well
Because you can say and do all the right things in the world dude.
But if she is not willing to work at the relationship and if she is 50/50
Then you a fight an up hill battle
You need to know where you stand.
Three threads merged, so don't be confused, just don't start anymore about the same thing.
Move on
Okay hers my story.. im 17 and I'm dating this magnificent girl who I think is the one I no uim young but to me it just feels that way. Now this weekend we got into a really big fight, we sometimes have little fights but this one takes the cake. This weekend she was asked to go to a party and she asked me if she was allowed to go and I said yes but than she asked if I would be mad, being an idiot I said you a little but I'm not going to say that out loud. Now for most of that day she kept debating if she was going to go or not , but I told her to go and have. Now the reason I was a little mad was because she got to have fun that night and I got to sit at home. When she came back from the party she thought I was, and I said no, then I asked who she was texting and she said some names and I knew she was lying but she wouldn't tell me the truth, and we kept arguing about it and she said I didn't trust her but I do I just wanted her to tell me the truth, after awhile of fighting she finally told me and I was all right after that but she kept saying I didn't trust her but I do and she started to cry and being the nice boyfriend I tried to make her feel better but she was mad by now and kept saying I can't trust when she's out with her guy friends. The next day we barely talked when we did I tried to tell I was sorry for what I did that night and tried to make things better but she said she needed time to think about things and is now decidingwhether or not to break up with me. During the rest of that day I kept trying to give me another chance promising that I will fix things and make things better, but that didn't work, so I thought I was being to clingy so I tries to give her space and I did.. so when I got home that night I started texting her and asked if she also had feelings for someone else and she said "i might im not gonna lie". Now today I have been giving her space and talking to people trying to get advice on what to do. Now she said that's its 50/50 and that she still loves me and I'm scared to lose her.. I love this girl and I just don't no what to do... please give me some good advice
Ok, let me get this straight. You're with a girl who has feelings with some other guy? Is it just me or is this girl walking all over you?
But the problem is I love this girl... we have been together for 15 months and I really don't want to break up with her I think I just don't no how to say the right things.
LOOK ENOUGH!
honestly if this is how you act with her.. keep going on and on.. about the same thing
you have like 29 posts of the same thing are you trying to spam as much as you can just so you can get a reply that you like? look kid no one is going to tell you to CHASE after someone who LIKES SOMEONE ELES!!
I know your young I know your in love.. Problem is you love her? And you have been together for 15months
With all due repsect. So what.. yeah it happens we have all been there... it hurts... We move on.
OK but if you keep going on about the same thing. And keep on posting
Its like you are just ignoring all of us.. who have tried to help you out.
You want to love with all your heart fine?
But be ready to move on with all of your heart as well
And leave her
This will be my last message on this subject
I have been with my girlfriend for about 2 years and we broke up a couple days ago. I know how you are feeling. Stop panicking its not the end of the world. Relax for a minute and think about the actions you are taking, because they are going to sculpt whether there will ever be a chance with this girl. Like I said, are you guys still together?
You we are still together
Oh geez, let me give you some advice. LEAVE HER.. How disgusting, to string you along while she has interests in some other guy. I want to puke.
Dude... I don't know if there is anything you can really say to her... if she is thinking she has feelings for someone else, then its up to her to decide... no matter what you do or say, she has to make up her own mind on who she wants to be with...
Even if u act nice to her now, and say all the right things, next time she goes out, of next time you have a fight, she might go find someone else, or she might think she made the wrong choice staying with u...
So I'm sorry to say, but there is nothing much more you can do than just tell this girl you love her, and you'd like to be with her, but the choice is hers, and whateva she decides, u'll be OK with it. It's the only way... Sorry dude...
Coming from someone that has just learnt how to shave.. you would think.. would listen a bit..
But sadly no.
I'm done with you kid
Enjoy your pain
Ouch, true faith. But I see where you're coming from.
Anyway.
Honestly, I'm younger then you and I can handle these situations in a more mannered way. Doesn't that tell you something?
I don't know if age is the issue here... love or "love" makes us do some crazy things, and no matter how old you are, it has control over you.. so give the dude a break...
It has nothing to do with AGE!
It's a MIND SET!
And the mind set of this kid has pisst me off
So he is strung up on a girl who he really cares about, but she is treating him like dirt... we've all been there man... fallen for someone who wasn't worth it... this is just something he has to work out for himself..Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueFaith
But I do understand what you mean... this boy has to face facts...
Truefaith as blunt as you are and to some you may seem mean, but I agree 100%. At 17, there are other things RUSTY could be doing to pass his time.
RUSTY
She is walking all over you. She does not respect you! She is wasteing your time, time you could be doing things that shape the man you're going to be the rest of your life.
You may not see it now but believe me, I am 22 years old and have heard all of this before and at the time I was like heck no but hinesight showed me I should listen.
Hope This Helps
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