I was dumped after 4 yrs, for the last month it was no contact. Then Friday I was invited over to her house by her and her kids, I spent the weekend and it was great. We looked at each other and acted like we did when we first met. I was leaving Sunday night and she ask if I could stay and leave in the morning when she left for work, I did. After that she's been cold and distanted. I text her and she doesn't really reply, less and less. She acts like she doesn't want me or even know me, I mean the weekend was awesome. Did she do this to see what I would do, and see if I was with anyone. Any help anyone.

Sorry Eric! Not only is she playing games with you, but her children must be really confused. She was probably lonely and wanted to see if going back to you was still an option. Go back to NC. Someone much, much better will come along.

You are not a fool, Eric. Her behavior suggests that she is unsure and confused about what to do with her life.

Move on and let her remain in the past. No contact is probably your best bet.

First of all
You are not a fool OK

You put your feelings out there! And you acted with all your emotions and you had no hiden agenda!

This women sounds like she is bad news
You know what you should do.

You have been the nice guy for to long it seems and she porbable thinks that she can use you whenever she likes

So. Stop sending her text just go to no contact!
And if she has the nerv to ask you round again

You tell her this.

What to be treated like trash?
Hell no!
And leave it like that.

All the best my friend!

Regards

Go back to no contact, she will eventually ask you over again, refuse. She needs to know she can't use her kids against you. This isn't on at all. She probably is confused but that doesn't give her the right to pick you up when she feels like it and drop you when she's done.

Your right, I set her up to get tires on her car, all she had to do was drive there, she wouldn't answer my calls or text and went to wrong place. She did call and was real brief and said talk to you later and hung up. Sooooooo back to no contact and this time it stays. I spiled my guts to her, now she's alllll happy and dutching me. Never again, I learned what kind of evil person she is.

She's probably not evil realistically. I only clarify this because anger about a relationship that is over is only hurting you and driving you mad. Leave her behind, completely. She has treated you badly, she doesn't deserve you. Don't get angry, move on, fill your life with new people and places and make yourself happy and wait until you find someone that can compliment that.

I agree with Neverme that you should let go of the anger. You are the only one effected by holding on to it.

I guess I'm more mad at myself, I let my guard down in trust and got this. I'm not mad at her, I'm glad its over and she proved what I knew in the back of my mind. She's having a fun ole time thinking ill be there whenever she calls, bless her heart, I'm not there anymore. You guys are so right

Best of luck with it, you seem like a great guy, hope you get happy soon :)

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Please let me know when you have had enough of her drama and are serious about healing, and moving on.

You're the one who keeps going back to her nonsense.

I know its hard, but that's your only chance for peace of mind.

Thank you, I am ready. Doing it right now. Thanks for your help.

Wow I had no idea this has been going on for so long!

I agree with tal

Its about time you ended this nightmare don't you think?


Man after 1% of what she did to you. You should have left her
She sounds way to controlling
And you sound really. Really weak.
WoW!

Yes you are right, it was month last time and I felt good. This time will be forever, I seen the last of this. Changing my phone number as we speak. I to look back at allllllll this and I laugh at me for being a joke. Wow is the word

You are not a joke. Do not be self depricating. It is good for you to go back and read all those posts and remember all that has happened. We have ALL gotten caught up in bad relationships or relationships that have lasted too long. Time heals and you will be fine.

We all slip up dude, believe me. You will be fine, no big deal.

She's called 3 times, and I won't answer. I'm on my way and I fel good. Thank everyone of u

Go Eric! :)

I read in one of your other posts she said

Just say yes dear. Is what a real man would do.

Well you can tell her where to stick that yes.

Of course don't it ;) but I would hehe.

You are doing the right thing

No contact.

Let her and her kids live in the own world

Yes she did say that and a lot more. She's very selfish and self centered. It was like walking on eggshells.

I agree with the others
She sees she can manipulate her to her advantage because you are always hoping for it to work --this time around---so she uses you and dumps you yet again.
You need to gain the upper hand by refusing to see her or be there for her next time or any time after.

Its funny, she wanted to know how I felt about her, what was I thinking, was it a bad ideal to spend the weekend together, then when she got all my feelings and thoughts she dumps me again. Every feeling I had for her is gone. Not hate, just gone. I feel nothing for her now. She did make a fool out of me, but ill be fine.

If you don't feel anything then it is best to just forget it and move on.
You feeling like a fool is her having power over your emotions.
Don't look at it as you being made a fool. Look at it like she is the one with the problem.

One last question, after that nice weekend, didn't I have the right to know where we stand. Like will we see each other again? What's going on? Instead of nothing and wondering.

Of course you had the right to know. You are not wrong here.

Another good reason to forget her.

Quote:

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instead of nothing and wondering.

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Keep No Contact and let her wonder for a while. A very long while.

Like I said it was a awesome weekend, felt just like it did when we met, then blew me off, so I ask her eariler what's the plan, will I see you again, I ask twice and she wouldn't answer, finally she said she didn't have a answer, and I have no buiseness asking, that I should wait and see, here's the good part, THAT She's SICK OF MY CRAP FOR ASKING. O my. So I told her to stay out of my life forever, I'm done. Number changes in morning. She has no way of contacting me.

Well done eric, however I would bet money you won't stick to it. You better! I don't care if you have to start a thread that details day by day your progress, you do what you have to to stick to this NC. You have a much better life waiting for you and waiting on her to make up her mind is laughable. Good things happen to good people... keep your chin up.

I am keeping a track, its day one. I just changed by banking account so she can't bother it either, I can't believe a person like her really thinks that's OK to make someone wait till she decides. After the month of no contact then we seen each other she seen how good I was doing and she said, " why does everyone that breaks up with her have a better life" god I wonder why. I thought this weekend might just be a booty call, but it was like she was paying me back for something. Like being nicer then ever, then like she don't know me. Almost like look at what you've been missing. But once again she treats me like trash and I stick up for myself and its my fault, thank you god for being free.

It really helps to read your comments on here, it keeps me strong and helps me know I'm doing the right thing. I'm a smart person and would tell anyone in my spot that they are crazy. I know I deserve much better, but thanks again.

Why is it when I disagreed with not seeing me it was drama and crap, but when I agreed she was angry and moody. The only answer was to agree to wait on her with no fight. Not happening.

Well I was minding my own business and guess what happened? WRONG. Not her again. This gorgous blonde writes me from a dating service, and she lives 4 minutes away. We are going to church Sunday, and meeting tonight. She's made me feel so good just by talking to her. My god I'm so glad to be out of that mess, feels so good, she use to tell me that girls don't do things that I wanted, I knew she was wrong. Moving on never felt so good, thanks for all your advice.

Just take it slow, and don't go into it with high expectations. Enjoy the ride, but don't put your pedal to the floor...

I'm going so slow, she's doing all the asking. Just knowing I'm still a catch after what I been through. I still put myself first, I won't make that misstake again. But I'm smileing once again.

Good for you Eric. Take your lessons learned and move forward with eyes open.

Eyes are wide open, watching for warning signs I over looked last time. But still enjoying myself.