Hello, my names elias. I just recently (about 3 weeks ago) broke up with my now ex girlfriend monica. I feel so depressed, she was my first everything really. I lost it to her, it always bothered me she had lost it to her only other serious relationship with someone else, eventually I let it go. She was even my first kiss, I've always been "to myself" and just focused on my own personal health. As time went by we did EVERYTHING together. We spoke on the phone every day all the time and in between the calls were texts. We started to fight a lot when suddenly something happened at her house and I let her come stay with me. Originally it was only suppost to be temperary but we were having such a good time living the married life that she stayed for about 6 months until we broke up. Slowly things got bad, we disrespected each other plenty, we've said everything in the book, we stopped having sex and I finally broke up with her on holloween night because she sold me out to go be with her sister and her 13 year old friends instead of with her boyfriend on what would have been our first holloween together. Whatever, so after a few weeks of not talking much she starts texting me trying to be my friend. I was stupid enough to text back and we started to talk. Of course I enjoyed it and wanted more, but it couldn't be the way it was before. Things had changed. I took her out after school a couple days ago, we kissed and hugged and went to an old friends house were we spent a lot of time together hanging out, she said it felt like she lived with me again and she missed and still loved me but it's "hard". I don't know if she's playing mind games with me... She told me she wanted to be with me and then once we were together she said "we can still hang out". After a couple days she texts me saying "I'm getting my lip pierced." I was with my dad at a cigar shop just bonding when I got this text, I was very angry. She knows I don't approve of such piercings and we had argued plenty before she had gotten it when we were together (she had it previously, I allowed her to get it for her b-day) I told her to leave me alone for good, I don't need that junk in my life. Today I dropped off the book she had left in my car (she needed for a mid-term) and I saw that metal ball hanging from her lip and it made me so angry... I threw her baby shoes she had given me out the door and gave her the book. She agreed to leave me alone for good. Did I do the right thing in leaving her, I don't know what to think. I need advice... I wouldn't go back with her or anything but it does bother me, I won't lie. I feel used and stupid for going out of my way and giving so much to someone who never really gave much back.

Ok first of all kid..

You have some major controlling issues.

You know what. Its probable a reall good idea that she is not dating you anymore

You need to grow up. Big time..

You wanted her all to yourself on halloween?

(Yeah seflish)

I don't approve of such piercings
(what are you her dad?. )

Why are you even on here? You sound like you are happy to get rid of shuch a bad person.

You know I think.
I think she really did care about you.

But your jelouse and controlling natuer pushed her away.

My advice kiddo.

Learn to control yourself. And stop worring about others and what they do.

And how do you feel used and stupid? She didn't do what you told her to do?
Wow.. yeah free wills a Bi#Th isn't it.

You guys are so young for god sake.
The last thing she needs in this life is another dad.. trying to control her actions..

SO yeah you did the right thing by not being with her.

Word of the day.

(Get rid of that jelousey)
(Get rid of that Controlling part of your personality)

You will understand that in a relationship. Its not always YOUR WAY.

But hey its your first time ;) you will learn muffin.
I don't approve of such piercings

Ha! Give me a F@#@ Break.

How old are you? She left for Halloween to hang out with 13 year olds? I am not clear on the ages involved in this story. That would give me an idea of the maturity (or immaturity) that is being applied.

I'm 18 so is she, yes I'm controlling but she knew that coming in and she's plenty controlling too. She would trip out if I went out without her so I'm not the only one.

First of many probably. Act like how you would want to be treated.

If your down I suggest you keep busy, go no contact and do lots of exercise that helps!

You need to get over your own issues before you have a relationship. I don't know many women that would be in a relationship if you acted like that. Focus on yourself and the issues you have so this doesn't happen again. As far as getting over her, you just have to get busy and rid yourself of everything about her. Sucks, but it is the only way.

Btw, faith. You can't sum me up in a paragraph, turns out she planned the fight with mom so I'd let her move in and she made it seem like she couldn't go back but guess what? When she went back everything was peachy, she stopped wanting to have sex and we had plans made for holloween already.

You guys were just a poor match. I think the issues you both have are way too toxic for a healthy relationship to occur.

The anger today probably came from the anabolic steroids I've been using I also have been smoking pot heavily to ease the depression in part due to her and some probably because of the hormones.

If you don't mind, why are you using anabolic steroids?

Before I met this chick I was built like an oxe all natural, over time she sucked the muscle out of me making it impossible to workout and keep her entertained. So to get back to were I was and feel better about myself I've been doing a 4 week cycle of a designer steroid named epistane. I know how to use them, I've done research for a while, I know the risks as well but quite frankly right now I couldn't care less.

Quit using crutches to make yourself feel better. That is your entire problem right now. You DON'T need her to be happy. You DON'T need pot to calm your nerves. You DON'T need steroids to get bigger. All of this, and no offense, is a cowardly and immature way to handle things. Be man enough to deal with issues head on without depending on another person or drug to help you along the way. Time to grow up big boy.

I tried so hard to keep her satisfied but when we argued according to her I never cared. Ignoring the fact she's living in my room and eating my food, she doesn't have a job so using my money. I care about this girl so much I act over pretective right now I feel like texting her but I purposly deleted her number and the recent call logs (she just got a new number switched companys)

You're absolutely right... I do. And I'm going to discontinue use of those pills immediately.

Come to think about it, I smoked more pot WITH her then I ever did in my life, I need a girlfriend who will keep me in check not facilitate my bad habbits, correct or no?

Get your life together. I know this is hard, and I can't stress it enough to you that I know how much pain that it presents. Nothing can beat you unless you let it.

NO! Keep yourself in check. You don't need anyone else to hold your hand.

So its cool for you to smoke pot and use steroids, and you are bit@hing about her getting her lip pierced? Some standards you have. You obviously need to get your own sh!t together right now. I'm not trying to be a a$$, but I think you really need to take some time and reflect on yourself and your own actions. Then maybe you will be able to see things from her perspective... and as far as her going to be with her sister and friends on Halloween, perhaps you should have gone with them and had fun. It was her younger sister for fu#ks sake, its not like she was out with some other guy or something. How nice it could have been if you went with her and showed a little supports for the love she has for her sister.

You're right, I can't expect anyone to watch my back for me. I learned a lot I must say from being with her and learning to care for others (even though I'm a knucklehead) This is the FIRST time I've EVER cared so much for someone... I've always selfish. And that's what my problem is... I tried doing things so perfect with her, She started the disprespect, she asked me if she could kiss another chick while I was with her. She twisted our relationship and I was too inexperienced and stupid to see it coming.

It would behoove you to not lay the blame solely on her for a relationship that was clearly dysfunctional.

I have a lot of blame in this but the relationship was an odd one. She actually had a boyfriend when I met her, in a week she dumbed him and got with me. Things great for 3 months then drama came out. Her stepdad beats her mom, her moms and everyone else in the house, her dad doesn't give a damn about her, her stepdad has put a gun to her head and choked her. Plenty of things I'e helped her overcome... I don't know too many GUYS that would do as much as I've done. I'm not a bad person I feel as though Im being crusified for my flaws... not by kctiger.

Her mom is a money hungry B***** who didn't care enough to even call her daughter while she was living with me for a whole month. She has money to buy designer cloths but not to send her daughter on a part time best buy salary I paid it all for us.

I cried the whole way home today after I droped off her book, it hurt me to see her with that piercing. I know I do worst but I want better for her you know? I can fix other ppls problems but not my own... amazing isn't it?

The only problems that matter are your own. I know you care for her, but it isn't worth it and it is no longer your place to. You matter the most in this situation, and it is your problems and your own issues that need to be fixed. You CAN and WILL fix your problems. Don't let your mind tell you otherwise. You are letting emotions run your actions. Quit.

You're right, I feel a little better already and although I miss her a lot I no longer second guess my decision. There are pleny of girls out there, in fact one of the personal trainers at my gym likes me, she's 23, I won't even bother to try a relationship at that level. >.< Thanks you so much kc, is there any way I can add you to a friends list or something? Your advice was great. You hit it spot on no sugar coating and kept it impartial. I'm going to stop the everyday pot use and steroid use. I'm sure that I'll feel better once I've detoxed for a while.

Sure, feel free to add me to your 'friends' list. I am going through a tough break up too, so I know how you feel.

Best of luck to you tiger, I know you'll be just fine! I'm off to the gym, take care.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Eli2231

The anger today probably came from the anabolic steroids I've been using I also have been smoking pot heavily to ease the depression in part due to her and some probably because of the hormones.

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You need to work on the kicking the POT man

So not good for you.

And probable the main reasons to your problems