Hey all so here goes I am currently in a relationship and have a 1 year old daughter who I love to pieces.

The problem is I have fell for sum1 else at work and think she is awsome I have everything in common with her and she is such a nice lassie I don't want to hurt my girlfriend but I do not have same feelings for her as I use to I have tried loads time get these feelings back but I always end up thinking about this girl at work who also has a boyfriend.

I no longer get on with my girlfriend as she's always moody and feels likes I can't move with her what I'm asking is should I approch this girl at work and really tell her how I feel or just fight my feelings for her and try to build a sronger relationship with my girlfriend for the sake off my gorgeous daughter my life is such a mess the now and I don't know what to do

Hey,
I may not be an expert in relationships but in my opinion
You either have two choices... like you said try to build a stronger
Relationship between you and your current girlfriend, or end up things
Because you don't feel the same way and because you are
Interested in someone else. The fact that the girl at your job has a BF
Kind of ruin things for you... you need to figure out how this girl feel about her
BF and if she sees a future with him... but again its your decision only.

Xoxo,
Paola<3

Your to distracted by a female who is unavailable.

Pay attention to your g/f, and your child ,and make them happy, or resolve the issues between you, one way or another.

We all want to be happy and we all are attracted to others from time to time.

That doesn't mean we act on those feelings, at the expense of good common sense.

Handle your business at home.

Thanks for feedback guys appreciated

I agree with both the other posters. You need to look at two separate issues. One is you have problems with your girlfriend. And two you have feelings for another woman who is also unavailable.
First you need to tell yourself that you don't really know this woman at work. You know her work personality but people are totally different out in the world. What you have for this girl is an infatuation and a fantasy. I have been there before and it is hard to get over it. Just try to distract yourself when you catch yourself thinking about her. Go watch TV, do some work, clean the yard, play with your daughter, etc. Anything to get your mind off her and after a while you will start thinking about her less and less and eventually not at all. If you need to change jobs or ask for a different office then do it! And don't see her outside of work... to me that would be deceitful to your girlfriend.
Now... with your girlfriend... you need to sit down and have a talk with her without your daughter around so you can focus on each other. Not to tell her about your feelings about this other girl but about the issues the two of you are having. Ask that both of you make comprimises and meet somewhere in the middle. And be willing to compromise. Tell her you love her very much and want to work on the relationship to make it stronger. Find out why she is moody all the time. Does she feel neglected? Or unappreciated? Even if you don't neglect her or under appreciate her she might feel this way. Ask her why and what you can do to show her you care. And then do it!
I don't know what your lifestyle is like but I would also recommend that you do more with your family... both with your daughter and just the two of you. Like play outside together, go to the beach or pool, build a snowman, play board games, etc. Anything besides just sitting in front of the TV.
And maybe you need to go to couples counseling or even marriage counseling even though you aren't married. You can probably have some free sessions with your pastor or other church official. And go together!
Don't cheat or cross the line with this other woman... no one deserves that. If you feel you are about to approach this other woman you should break up with your girlfriend first. Don't wait to find out what the other woman says... if you are approaching her and soliciting feelings and relationships then you are cheating. So please if you are at that point break up with your girlfriend.
And also even if you do not plan to be with this other woman but still can't stand your girlfriend don't stay together for your daughter. She doesn't need to grow up in a house where the parents are always fighting, etc. She would be better with separated parents who both play an active and loveing part in her life and who get along with each other to share the daughter.
And if you are religious pray to find some answers and peace.
I hope that you get things figured out soon!
Good luck!

Cheers mate thanks for the advice I do feel I appreciate my girlfriend a lot and feel it is the other way about that she doesn't appreciate me or understand where I am comeing from we have tried to talk just ends up in couple days same as usaul argueing over stupid little things

Take care of your daughter, and your girlfriend, people get distracted all the time just don't let it become more then a distraction.

I do take care of my daughter and would do anything to support her like I said she's no 1

I 1st posted this in November 08 its now march and I'm still on the same boat I have took yo advice and went beach and swimming pool etc but I still do not feel happy I don't know if I'm just being a brat or as women would say a typical guy buy I just can't motivate myself even my best mates say I need get out this relationship as I am not same person as I use to be.

All my family are 200 miles away as I moved to be with my girlfriend 4 yrs ago and that's is hard take sometimes especially when you won't go home visit folks but she always goes mental when I go there unless she's with me and I'm not even allowed take my own daughter myself to see my family as she's always got to be there.

Hi again, You didn't mention the girl at work, but if things aren't working, there are courts for child support, and visitation. Being a good dad, doesn't mean staying with the mother.

:o

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Hi again, You didn't mention the girl at work, but if things aren't working, there are courts for child support, and visitation. Being a good dad, doesn't mean staying with the mother.

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Yeah still same with girl at work and to top it off I'm now her boss which doesn't help I suppose I should just carry on and hope everything settles in future

Threads merged

Hey peeps as early as last week me and my girlfriend of 5 years who we have a 2 year old daughter with broke up last fiday I was devastated as it didn't hit me how much I loved her until she was actually gone so me being me begged for her back when bombshell hit me that she said she had slept with 1 her best friends on the Friday night then Monday and the wed night I am absoulutly devastated she says she loves me more than him and wants to try again with me and to try and put it all in pass but its eating me up I'm already upset so I don't know if I should try and move on with her and forgive her as we weren't going out and things have been rocky in last year but I'm determined to prove I will be a different person as I now realise how much I loved heri guess I never realised until she was gone

I'm just such a head

She slept with another man multiple times not even a week after you two broke up from a 5 year relationship and you want her back?

I realize you have a child together but that doesn't mean you get back together at the risk of having a dysfunctional relationship.

Look at it this way.

1. Can you get over the fact she slept with another man?

2. It was her best friend... what will happen when you two are hanging out all together?

3. Does you two getting back together have a negative impact on your child?

The number one priority here is the child. Period. Sounds to me like she is pretty immature, and I am not sure you aren't just as immature as she is.

So she broke up with you and slept with someone else that same night? She loves you more then him, meaning she loves both of you but you just a little more? It seems like she is just making stupid decision's and got confused about what she wanted and now that you both have been broken up and are without each other she all of a sudden wants to try things again. Take some time and heal yourself don't jump right back into a relationship with her, she needs to clear her mind of everything and so do you and then see if you both want to continue a relationship.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kctiger

She slept with another man multiple times not even a week after you two broke up from a 5 year relationship and you want her back?

I realize you have a child together but that doesn't mean you get back together at the risk of having a dysfunctional relationship.

Look at it this way.

1. Can you get over the fact she slept with another man?

2. It was her best friend...what will happen when you two are hanging out all together?

3. Does you two getting back together have a negative impact on your child?

The number one priority here is the child. Period. Sounds to me like she is pretty immature, and I am not sure you aren't just as immature as she is.

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That was exactly what I wanted to say but just couldn't seem to write it out. Lol

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...se-281331.html

Geez guy, I think you should leave her alone, and pay child support. You have too much to do to get your acts together as individuals, to make a solid home for your child.

I think you take a lot longer than a couple of weeks to sort yourself out.

I can't take someone back who has cheated on me. At the same time don't let the child pay for it.

Yeah but we were split up at the time well that week thanks for advice peeps I'm just hurting at what she did and reason I feel that as because I still love her loads I did tell her that I no longer loved her and to leave mealone which I feel is why she did this but when we both split it was really hard I guess I never ealised how much I loved her until she was gone

We are going try it again as she sees a future with me and for our daughter our daughter loves it when we are both together going places etc so I don't think got a negative effect on her but I will take your advice on board and take things slowly thanks guys

Threads merged

Hey I've just came out off a 6 year relationship with my girlfriend and our daughter of 2 years and I'm so hurt can't believe blown everything

It all started last year in oct when told her didn't love her and she moved out she ended up sleeping with another guy which killed me even though we were separated at time anyway I managed to persuade her back and was going OK until lat Friday when she went out with friends I found out the person she had slept with was out with them as well so we had a big argument over it turns out she's been texting him ever since

She says she wants say friends with him weather I like it or not so I told her well choose me or him so she just told me its over and from now on she just wants to be on her own

I have asked her if she has feelings for this guy she says no just friends but I won't be on my own because I'm fed up off all the e happened between as now I don't know what to do never seen her like this before and truly believe I've now blown it I'm such a mess

That shouldn't stop you from being a great dad, and leaving her, and her personal life alone.

For whatever reason you're lousy together as a couple, but that doesn't mean you can't work together to be great PARENTS.

I know so why do I love her so much and am hurting so bad wanting to be with her

After reading the whole story, you guys do NOT go well together at all. First you look elsewhere, then she does. That is a huge red flag that the relationship isn't working.

Stop playing tennis with this relationship, be a great dad to your child and leave her to her own life.