So, I have been on NC for only 5 days right now. My ex emailed me last week saying she tried to call me because she is having some family issues. So, like an idiot I rush to her aid. Give her my office number and cell number (I had changed my cell so she couldn't call, and she never had my office number). So, for four days last week I check up on her. After Friday I was like, no more! Today, the 5th day of NC I decided to make sure if she is still doing all right. Her response:
"Everything is fine, thank you for asking. I am going to Coldplay tomorrow night."

We were supposed to go to this concert. I totally forgot they were in town. I have also heard that her newbie Chris (whom she has denied twice within the past two weeks she is even seeing) is taking her to this concert. So, now of course I feel sad and to the point of tears at my freaking office!! Let that be a lesson. NC is the only way, because it SUCKS when you break it! I am not back to square one, but it is just picking at a scab that isn't ready to be picked at yet. Trust me!

Dude, hang in there. I am right there with what your feeling today.

Try to find something to do at work to take your mind off her, even if it's just for 5 minutes.

I did that earlier this morning and I feel better than I did.

Its hard man.. even more so when they call up for help.. because you just think about helping them.. nothing else..

And then your like.. A? Wait a min.

Its good to help people out man remember that.. but Xs.. it just opens up a can of worms.

But now keep to no contact. And just try to ignore her in the futuer

Best of luck we have all been there from time to time :)

Its normal
This just makes your stronger

Keep on venting my friend, I've been active on this site since my girlfriend asked me for some time and space because she didn't know what she wanted, I've been in NC for 10 days after 4.5 years and I'm doing well, a lot better then I thought, I fear your situation of her calling or texting me because she left me in limbo of not knowing what she wanted from us, so I'm scared to answer. :(

It's not like I don't know the reality of the situation. We were together for 4 1/2 years as well. Curiosity killed the cat. I don't know how many lives I have left. I KNOW I still deeply love her and care for her, and I also know she is already talking to another guy... that hurts to have your mind thinking someone you STILL love is with someone else.

The bad news, that brick wall is still harder than your head.

The good news, we have extra aspirin.

Oh Well, back to NC!

See if I knew my girlfriend / ex or w.e. she is wanting space is talking to another guy and seeing him I would be relieved because for instance my girl and I were supposed to be married and I was the only one for her I have texts from her 3 days prior to saying I make her so happy and I'm the only one for her forever yada yada yada, basically then she lied to me for 4.5 years and I was living a lie and I'm grateful that it finally ended because she wasn't truly in for the long run like I was. And maybe your woman and mine if she is with another guy, she'll see the grass isn't greener on the other side, because finding love and caring like we can offer to them is very rare and they'll see that. Then it'll be your choice if you want her back, or in your life at all. But I understand it's hard to walk away from your best friend.

I wish you the best of luck my friend. I'll say a prayer for you!

I know it hurts... and you still love her. I am in the Same boat as you only my relationship was 1 year shorter.

Think of all the advice you have given others... and all of the advice you have received so far. It's really good. You have helped a lot of people. And we are hear to help you.

If you fall off the wagon just hop back on! It will get better in a couple of days.

Thanks, BTW for helping through my weak moment this morning... your advice is dead on.

It always helps to give others advice, that's why I do it. Sometimes I don't take enough of my own advice that I spew onto others. But, hey, we are all hear for each other. I have no doubt I can get back up and keep moving. It is now just small slumps I get into, where as before it may have been days or even a week or two before I cleared my head up...

Plus, it does others good to know that I am not just giving lame advice. I am still going through this rough time and I know how if feels... it ain't over yet.

Don't worry man, we have ALL fell off the wagon before. It's hard to cut off contact you are so comfy talking to, and have been in contact with years.

We have A LOT of supporters here, they were my lifeline when my ex and I broke up at first and now I come here everyday trying to help people to repay the favor, in a way.

I got your back man! This crap will all work out for all of us, with or without our significant others. Just keep your head up! It could ALWAYS be worse. I'm going to try and figure out goes on in a woman's head and write a book on it and became a ga-jillionaire and I'll buy all of you guys a mansion and beer. Everything else your responsible for. :)

Cool man, I will remember that!

OK, I'm sorry I'm dumb, but I read the post and I don't know what NC means. Can someone please tell me?

No Contact

You are not dumb... I didn't know what it means until I asked.

LOL, yeah when I first saw people say "I think I'm going to go NC" I thought... hmmm... why are all these people going to North Carolina.

HAHA

Yeah, what is so special about North Carolina that, when people break up, they immediately have to go there??

That's what I thought... then I read Ash's sticky and was enlightened.

LOL. That is funny. I guess I wasn't the only one. Thinks a lot. I believe that is the best was to go about things from my experience anyway.

Thanks!

Hey KCtiger could you read my story, I'm not sure if you did already and post some input all you said was something about my handle not sure if you read it and had an opinion, I'd appreciate it. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ke-280105.html

And for the record, the only thing good about NC is DUKE GO BLUE DEVILS!

Hey we will all help you, as you help us... stay strong...
Sorry you hurt
Xoxo

WOW it was funny... I didn't no either I googled it... LOL
At least you had the nerve to ask :)

Haha. Thank you

We have all been there. You have unfortunately learned the lesson the hard way.
Use it to motivate you to stick with NC until you are over it.

Don't sweat it. I'm pretty sure EVERYONE must break it once just to find out for real that you need to do NC. Hang in there, it gets easier day by day.

I have broken it a lot more than one time. Like I said, I am a pretty stubborn guy. Just hope others learn from my ignorance. At any rate, I didn't want to take her to Coldplay anyway. I cannot stand that band, as a matter of fact, my man card would have been snatched from each of my friends had I done that.

Keep your head up Kctiger just learn from your mistakes.

I would have snatched your man card as well.. No offense but he just whines too much!

Hey rome, I recall reading a post you said about your story, could I read it, I would like to know what happened to yourself and made you decide to help people on this website because that's how I feel now-a-days I want to do.

Sure, it's kind of a long story mixed in a bunch of posts, feel free to browse around my posts and read whatever you would like.

What happened to myself was I realized I needed to change, not for her but for myself to live a better life. To understand that people aren't out to hurt you, it's just that sometimes things don't work out the way we want them to. Things will fall apart, so others fall together. Since the break up last December, I have accomplished so much more than I ever thought possible. I never thought I would find someone else, or be in love again and here I am with someone who I have an unspeakable connection with. I feel alive in a relationship for the first time, even 6 months before my last relationship ended I knew the flame blew out but comfort kept me there and hope that things would change. I went NC for 5 LONG months, and I mean L-O-N-G months because we did work together and nothing! After the 5 months, I felt fine and decided to talk to her again, in person. After I did, I knew the pain was gone because I wasn't asking if she thought about me or spoke about me. I just accepted what was, she was with someone new as was I. Things I found out after we started being friends again were funny to me, like she was not happy in the relationship she was in, and still is. She was asking me if I would give her another chance, if I thought about how things would be different this time around. So yes, she did come back after NC, but I didn't want her back. I realized that it ended and was time to move on, no living in the past. If you break up, it's for a reason.

I come onto this site everyday because I know how much it helped me during my break up, without this site I would still be missing her and trying to get her back. So I come here to "repay" in a way for all the advice the guys and girls gave me. Tal especially, I mean he's a d*ck! But his advice is always spot on and what you NEED to hear, not what you want to hear. There are so many people that I would like to meet and personally shake their hand and say thank you. So I come here to try and get at least one person back on track, and if I do that then I feel a sense of accomplishment.

**Sorry to "hijack" your thread kc, but maybe it will help people who read it too**

That's pretty motivating my friend, I'm very happy for you and that your happy. Did you break up with your ex of NC of 5 months or did she break it off for you? And your posts on my post really hit me hard, and it's basically comes down to all of it of not dwelling on things because you can only control yourself and that's all you need. I am in the phase right now of 11 days of NC that I will never fall in love again, but to see that your life turned around and you found a great relationship and happiness after your comfort zone left is very motivating. I just feel I'm a good person, and as are you, and good things will happen for us. If that one person you talk about changing their life, I am falling into that category, and since we're both from jersey we should go out and get a beer sometime lol and I could give you that handshake! Thank you though, I appreciate what your doing and admire it, and probably will follow in your foot-steps.

Yea man, that would be fun to grab a beer! And she broke it off with me, said I was "too jealous and controlling" which in a way I was but she gave me reasons to be suspicious. The one person I was worried about, she told me he wasn't a threat and low and behold, that's who she is with now. The argument that started the break up text, was because I got mad she let another guy take a promise ring I gave her off her finger. Because that's not what any guy would do, get mad about that. But I did get angry for awhile, the way she ended a 2 1/2 year relationship, over text, after telling my cousin she was done with it.

I also started working out at the gym to dwell my anger and keep my time occupied, which is why you see me preach the gym to people who first break up, and it REALLY helped and changed me inside and out and the looks my ex gives me now says it all. Not to mention the death stares she gives my fiancée.

Trust me, 11 days is a big statement! And believe me, you will fall in love again. I did, and even got engaged in Sept. Sure me and her have little arguments, but the knowledge that I learned from this site allows me to realize that sometimes 2 people just need time to cool off, it's not always needed to be fixed right away, let the cooler heads come around and then talk about it. The endless knowledge you learn from here cannot be learned anywhere else, through other peoples mistakes comes great advice from people on this site. I will be around for a long time because I still use the advice in my current relationship.

I feel like we're living the same life my friend. I'm not sure if you read my post or not https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ke-280105.html but same thing with control and a bs text asking for space and not telling me it was over or anything just asking for time (I realize that it's a breakup but after 4.5 years I should be able to sit down and confront her and talk about it) I'm doing well, I'm pretty sure one day she'll realize her mistake and the ball will be in my court :-) thanks for being around rome.

Anytime, I am always here to help. And yea, the texting someone telling you it's over is immature. You spent so much time with someone, the least you can do is go face to face and say "it's over"

I don't know your ex, but I feel that my ex wouldn't be able to do it to my face, I think she would just want to be with me and hold me and crap opposed to getting the job done, but I'm glad she did it because I'm hoping it made her happy because that's what I want, her to be happy.

Oh trust me, my ex couldn't. When we met up the next day, it was like pulling teeth getting her to exchange stuff in person! Then as we did it, she talked about maybe another try and she needs to think about things and that we could try a "break" and can she have "one last kiss"

Yeah, like I said the chances in my head of my exgirlfriend of not talking to me again is less then 1% I'd say, because I do know she loves me and I'm glad she did this to me, I finally got my feet on the ground, and I think she knew this would happen to me, and maybe she'll comeback and want to talk, maybe not. Either way. I'm okay with that, but is it okay that if she called me right now I probably wouldn't want to speak to her?

Of course it is OK. You don't owe them anything... talk when you want and are ready to. It is when people are in such a hurry to pick up the phone that they start saying really stupid stuff.

It's more than okay, it's great! You shouldn't speak to her, you should be angry with how she did it. Anger fuels people to change and adapt to how things are. That's the beauty of NC, it opens your eyes to things that you couldn't see before

crazy how this whole situation opened my eyes, I can definitely say I needed this. While I have kctiger and rome here I got a situation coming up on Monday I've tried not to think about but I really can't avoid, me and my girlfriend are in a online history course together with 30 people or so, and her and I were randomly paired together to do a project that's due on Monday, see she's kind of a nerd and loves school and would have no problem doing it on her own, because that's how I saw it when we got paired together lol, because I'm kind of the opposite of her I just coast through college courses, until this break of course I've been busting my getting good grades and decided to get out of community college and head to devry to do something that interests me in computers. Anyway, should I do the report myself and email it to her with just that on Monday or not do anything? What you think anything would help