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1. I was the phone to my boyfriend. I called on his work mobile, 2 secs into the conversation his personal mob rings, he tells me to hold on, when he answered he cut me off.
2. I rang back and when I asked who called him he said... mmmm mmmmm, mc donalds called (coz he fixes their machines).. I was like yeah right. He said well if your going to be stroppy I don't want to talk to you and cut me off again!!
Should I call back?
No, I would not call back right away. He may come back at you saying that you are "spying" on him.
Let him call you back, his actions do sound kind of funny to me.
:( I don't know what to do.
I really trust him... but something is telling me its different - I have this bad gut feeling
He called me now.
He said sorry for hanging up on me, he said he is very stressed at d mo with work and didn't need me being on his case!
Shall I believe him?
Hi flower,
It sounds like he is stressed, and hopefully that's all it is. The fact that he phoned to say sorry, to me that means something good.
Why he cut you off I don't know, maybe it was by mistake, or am I being naïve, that I don't know.
OK, Flower, lets talk facts.
You are 'driving yourself mad' as you said in a previous thread...
I have intentionally put off getting too specific because I feel that you need to reflect on what you really want in life.
1. You get all hot and bothered when your b/f talks to other women.
2. You get upset when the subject of sex is brought up in a conversation.
3. When you call him, you expect him to drop everything and irritated when he has a business phone call at work.
4. Deep inside, you also feel that he asks too much of you when he wants to experiment sexually.
What would you think, and even suggest to someone else when you read your threads. Think, if someone posted the same situation as you did what kind of bells would ring?
It is my opinion, and please correct me if I'm wrong, that you are so darned insecure that it hurts. I certainly would not want to be in your shoes - and I'm sure you are uncomfortable in them yourself.
Yes, you are driving yourself mad... Stop this and talk to a professional about why you don't have confidence in yourself. You are so insecure that it's going to drive him away. If you really love this guy, then do both of you a favor and get to the bottom of your insecurity and learn to grow into a person who understands herself enough to be able to trust and understand others.
Why do you not accept it when someone tells you he loves you? Why don't you think you are just as good in bed as any other women can be? Why do you think your b/f talks to other women on the phone while at work? Until you have the answers for this, you'll continuously have problems in any relationship you start. Your own insecurity is going to drive you mad!
Somehow, you have the wrong impression of a 'couple'. There must have been something very traumatic in your past that you have not worked on yet, and it's preventing you from having a satisfying life in the present. And until you straighten this out with yourself, you'll not have any peace in the future.
If you cannot or will not talk to anyone about your past, PM me and we'll work on it. I know from personal experience that a past that has not been 'closed' can cause unbelievable damage and am offering you a chance to at least open the door and work on the real you.
You deserve to have a fulfilled life in the present and future, so please take the opportunity given.
I want so much for you to look forward, and have your dreams come true.
Think about it, and get back with us. We are here for you, so grab that chance. It's free.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gifYou want to trust him, but something is preventing you from doing so, and that is deep within you. Let's find out what that is...
What do you mean, why do I think my boyfriend talks to other women on the phone while at work?
Could it be this :- sometimes I feel he is too good to be true?
Quote:
Originally Posted by flower81
Isn't that what you insinuated in that post?Quote:
2. I rang back and when I asked who called him he said... mmmm mmmmm, mc donalds called (coz he fixes their machines).. i was like yeah right. he said well if your going to be stroppy I don't want to talk to you and cut me off again!!
In some way, you might feel that he's too good to be true and that you don't deserve him - again, leading to your insecurity. So, why is it that you feel you don't deserve to be happy?
Sorry OK, I understand now. I don't know why I thought he spoke to other women.. again showing my insecurity, but then again why did he hesitate when I asked who he spoke to? And if mc donalds did call him, why on his personal mob and not work mob! Though his personal mob was used before for work before he got a new work mob with a different number!
I don't know :(:(:(
Hi flower- Relax and stop making a mountain out of a mole hill. All the questions you have asked here could drive you crazy and he wouldn't have a clue what your talking about. Whatever happened in your past to make you insecure you need to work on but a cell phone cut-off and the guy is cheating?? LET IT GO. Stop trying to figure out who's calling ,it may not be your business. Don't start something that ain't there, relax;)
Its not because he cut me off, its how he had me hold when he answered the other call on other mob, and I heard him talking then he cut me off like he didn't want me hearing the conversation... like he had something to hide!
Although, to play devils advocate,. I think, when women feel this in their gut, it is usually right for some reason.
If she suspects something, maybe there are other signs... not always available, works later, fewer calls, fewer e-mails, fewer text, doesn't return calls - or doesn't return them right away etc.
I hope my gut instinct is wrong! I don't think I should ask him really.
He doesn't text me because he doesn't have credit on his phone, we broke as we saving together, we just bought a place actually, but then once he is in office, he always calls me.
Hmmm... I think then you need to relax and worry about other things in your life. It sounds like he is there for you. You MAY be smothering him as well... not good.
How about concnetrating on work, friends, family, school, hobbies, etc. - and not so much him - he will love you for it!!
You're stressing way too much over this. Haven't you ever had a time where you had phone problems? Like someone called then another person did, it accidentally got hung up and when you call back you're so worried the other person would be mad at you that when they ask you a simple question you have to re orient yourself?
You could be optimistic and say that he was probably worried about you being angry that he cut you off, so it took him a moment to be like... who called me again? Oh yeah...
Or you could be pessimistic and think that maybe he wasn't even paying attention to you when you asked the question. Then he sort of heard it a bit after you said it, which is what happens to everyone.
If he got a new work mobile, then of course it's going to have a different number. In fact, the work mobile is probably already paid for by his work, so he probably considers it a good thing to have a work mobile.
If mcdonalds called him on his personal, and as you said before he used it for work, then they probably haven't gotten the message that he has a new phone.
Either way, having this little feeling that doesn't really have any physical evidence could cause a LOT of problems. Worry about cheating if you smell perfume on him or something. People have secrets, he could have been talking to a family member or something and didn't want you to think he'd cut you off so you couldn't hear what he had to say, as is previously said. You thought he was having secrets. If he said it was anyone else but work, you would immediately suspect him now wouldn't you? Or get angry and confront him about keeping secrets when he most likely wasn't.
If you ask him a lot of questions like this he's probably just scared you'll get mad or take something the wrong way. I'd say that since you are still together he's dealing with your insecurity as best he can and is afraid if it comes out on him. Your relationship is going to be in serious trouble if you insinuate that he's cheating and only have this one little time to think he is. You say you trust him, but you don't show it. I've felt the gut feeling, there's no percent on when it's true or not.
Let him know he's too good to be true. He most likely said the mcdonald's thing trying to use it for your benefit. Stress is some woman named Onyx or Jewel calls him or something, not when his phone cuts off and he takes a moment to say who it was.
It sounds like you caught him at a busy time, and he couldn't talk, and he was simply just short with you... It happens. I carry a Blackberry and a cell phone at work - I get busy sometimes and just can't stop to take a personal call.
Being under stress doesn't help, and you calling back probably added stress at that point in time. Since he called a little later to apologize, I don't think you can call this one event a "sign of cheating".
If anything - I agree with Chery that the pattern suggests this is about your own insecurity.
If you keep acting this way towards him he is going to get sick and tired of it and then you'll have bigger issues to worry about. i.e. being dumnped and alone.
Coming froma male if I had a girlfriend who acted like that simply because I cut her off because I was on another call then I would not be able to handle it. This is simply the truth.
What Chery said in her first post was so true. It was the best advice any one could give you.
Relax a little and work on yourself. There seem to be some real issues that you need to resolve.
Please don't stress too much over this.
Do you trust your boyfriend? Then trust in the love that's there. Everyone has awsome points.
Don't let this rattle you too much, he did call back to appologise. :)
That is exactly what I was thinking. My gut instincts have NEVER been wrong, and I swear I have never been wrong with that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Women have this radar... they know thinsg guys don't. I rarely heard a women's gut instanct be wrong.
I distinctively knew when my ex was cheating. He always came home late, truly was his job as a manager of a pizza delivery place. I just felt it deep inside my being.
Always... for ever.
I'm still not ready to go that far and say a guy is cheating with so little to go on. You've got to admit there aren't a lot of facts to support a cheating partner here and from what the poster said ,well she sounds more insecure than anything! But it is hard to bet against a woman's gut feeling. MORE FACTS PLEASE before we hang an innocent man.
Trust your instincts/intuition. That's a pathetic excuse to say "sorry im really stressed at work" even if he was people do not fly off the handle like that over something so silly. His reaction is a classic response to be caught out for something. This is NOT a healthy relationship & before you get yourself into severe depression etc you need to GET OUT.
I agree with Chery you need to talk to someone who can find out what is really going on inside you. I was in the same situation for a few years: very successful business woman but with very low self-esteem when it came to my relationships which caused huge problems then over a year ago I sought the help a great Life coach who was also trained in counselling & after a lot of hard work am now back on track & the person I was before the event that triggered this low self-esteem. So I am talking from experience & do feel that a relationship is not the place for you yet as you have more important things to do: sort out what's going on inside. Whilst you are like this you will continue to attract all the wrong people, once I had sorted myself out I met a great guy & am in a happy relationship with him, yes we have ups & downs - that is life but NOTHING like what it used to be like. I feel secure in the relationship but more importantly know that if it doesn't work out I am comfortable being on my own until the next person comes along.
Please seek help - it will be the best thing you have ever done.
BINGO!Quote:
Originally Posted by Talaniman
These are mostly signs of someone not handling intuition well. Its one thing to have a hunch, its quite another to be either driving yourself crazy with it or acting on it with NO substantiating proof. I see, hear and feel lots of things. I am sincere in this. I have learned to not react as much, to look for confirmation from at least several independent sources and try to discern what is best for everyone before acting on such "insider" information.
I do not get bogged down in the minute and mostly meaningless details of it, ever! And I am really careful not to label something a problem until I am very sure it is. And there seems to be a whole lot of that going on here in this thread. The BIG picture, your gut instincts and proof is what I advise.
If you don't acquire a similar viewpoint, you'll end up paranoid which won't benefit anyone, including you. I hope that helps!
I wouldn't call back. It was pretty rude of him to just drop his conversation with you to take the other call from "McDonald's" on his personal mob. As it was, he didn't even call you back, you had to call him. Unitl he starts showing some respect for your time and making you a priority I'd stay away from him.
Dear flower. You are getting close to the 'real picture' through the words you posted here...Quote:
Originally Posted by flower81
Please work on yourself to get your self-esteem and self-confidence! Stop putting yourself down so low, because you can't expect anyone to pick you up but yourself.
Good luck.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif Just in case you do email me, use the word 'PEANUT' in the title, as I don't open mail if I don't know who sends it.
Thanks u guys thanks :)
We are here for you. Don't give up on yourself and keep us posted.Quote:
Originally Posted by flower81
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif
Yes, a lack of security maybe, but if your boyfriend is going to do things to MAKE you even more insecure...
Has your boyfriend done things in the past that have pushed your trust? Is this the first type of thing? In my experience, all people would go "that was strange, he hung up on me" after something like that, but only if you suspected something before might you think what you did. So are there other signs?
It might be very well people telling you that your insecure. But, if at the end of the day your boyfriend is cheating your insecurity would haveworked to your advantage.
It's the wost feeling in the world having to try get over something when you feel your partner may still be lying. Makes you feel as if you have been kept in the dark, and I think that's a terable thing, when you don't, and might not ever know the truth. The only thing you can do is talk to him about it, and ask him to be honest. After that, there isn't much more you can do, except wait, and just be causious, and see if anything else materialises in the next few months.
If not, then you are pritty safe. If it does then you know your answer. One thing though, don't do Too much worrying in between. Will effect your bladder in the long run, and women already go to the toilet way too much! ;)
- chris - :eek:
In a cheating situation. I would rather be blind to it than suspect my love and be wrong.I would like to be the one in Love and not know.If the relationship comes to an end Then you have done nothing wrong. And the failure was on his part.Since you are not happy tell him to make you happy or someone else will.There can not be love without trust.
That's ridiuclous... you will always be lead on, played, used. No one wants that
ha!Quote:
Originally Posted by Krs
Have you ever seen cheaters? Those people had suspiscions. Your boyfriend called to say sorry because he realized he screwed up and needed to cover.
This is from August.
Yeah, so?
The question has been asked and the original poster has been answered. All as wildcat was trying to say wa that it might be best if you answered some threads that were more recent. It would be much more helpful.
Chances are that this poster has gone and will not get your answer.
Look for questions that have been asked in the last few days.
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