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-   -   Why Does My Ex Want Nothing To Do With Me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=264480)

  • Sep 27, 2008, 07:37 PM
    ashlayy06
    Why Does My Ex Want Nothing To Do With Me?
    So, I dated this guy back in November and we were COMPLETELY in love even though we fought a lot we still loved each other and were completely attached for months an months. He moved away in March and right after he moved away, he still wanted to be with me. This was until he found out that other guys were flirting with me at school and he called me a "whore" and all this stuff. We kept talking, but apparently I kept pissing him off about "rubbing things in his face". So, we stopped talking all together. It's been about 7 months now.

    During the summer I was dating another guy, and he kept trying to blame me for stupid things still and then I ran into him at a concert. When he saw me with the other guy, he gave him a dirty look and started talking to my MOM who was with us. It was pretty amusing.

    After that, I messaged him any apologized for anything wrong I did in the past and he said "we're even, but I still don't want you in my life at all. I just can't handle it. I appreciate you caring, but I have my friends for that. Thanks though, but goodbye."

    We haven't talked since, but when people mention me to him he says "I just wish I could erase that part of my past. I never want to talk to her or see her ever again for the rest of my life. I have nothing bad to say about her, I just don't care."

    So, I just want to know what's going on in his head and what I should do. Because I still love him and everything and I mean I can move on and everything, but I just want to know why he's saying this to people and what's going on in his head.

    And what I should do about it.
    Thanks.
  • Sep 27, 2008, 08:42 PM
    talaniman

    He has a hard time dealing with his feelings, and he is very immature. Sad ain't it?
  • Sep 27, 2008, 10:41 PM
    mommyv

    Lol- go talaniman!
  • Sep 28, 2008, 07:16 AM
    ashlayy06

    Haha, well yeah. I knew that.
    But like, when do you think he would attempt to contact me again?
    I can move on with my life without him obviously, but you never know with him. Haha.
  • Sep 28, 2008, 07:32 AM
    JBeaucaire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ashlayy06 View Post
    I can move on with my life without him

    Can you? I think so, but do YOU really think so?

    Let's see if you think you can with a little experiment... stop asking yourself questions about him.
  • Sep 28, 2008, 07:36 AM
    ashlayy06

    Well, I still miss what I had with him but he's a complete idiot now. And he's really bipoloar when it comes to me and like, our situation. But yeah, I'll try that.

    I'll just be upset if we NEVER TALK for the rest of our lives.
  • Sep 28, 2008, 07:41 AM
    JBeaucaire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ashlayy06 View Post
    Well, I still miss what I had with him but he's a complete idiot now. And he's really bipoloar when it comes to me and like, our situation. But yeah, I'll try that.

    I'll just be upset if we NEVER TALK for the rest of our lives.

    You may be upset, but you'll get over that. It's much worse trying to get over an idiot who is STILL all up in your life.
  • Sep 28, 2008, 07:46 AM
    xoxaprilwine
    It may not be that he was in love, it means he may have had an obsession with you. During break up it is common for these "types" to act out their feelings the way he is. It is apparent he has difficulty dealing with his feelings and feels anger and resentment towards you. He's cowardly and immature... why love someone when they don't even know the concept... just like the idea? I know you said you can move on... so move on. Treat this as another experience and what it is you don't want in a guy. I dated a lot when I was available too and to me these guys say one thing but given the opportunity would come back in an instant. Once back together you will have to answer his 101 questions and report your day to them... extremely possessive and controlling because they know you could find better. Talking to your mom was just one way he is showing control and building relationships with parents is one way to get back. "Where is ___ these days?" Why did you guys break up?" seeking moms and dads approval is one of the ultimate successes in relationships (well it was for me - European background). I got really annoyed... especially if they start getting in the family pictures! Ask yourself do you really love him? What is love to you? Besides chicky you are young, in school, have your whole future in front of you... don't let a guy get in the way you will miss out on other opportunity... sometimes they just absorb all your time and energy that in the end you have no friends (they want you all to themselves), you won't go off into college or university (get married, have kids and settle down) and before you know it you look back and go. What did I do? Why didn't I do that? Date and date... have fun and love yourself.

    God bless,
  • Sep 28, 2008, 07:49 AM
    ashlayy06
    Aw, thanks.
    I know he did love me too but, yeah.
    I'll move on.
    I just hope he does too.
  • Sep 28, 2008, 02:07 PM
    nicole0789

    He is not over you plain and simple as that, my ex was the same way but the thing he dumped me but when I told him I was talking to another guy he just shut down, its sad men are different they don't know how to handle their emotions and takes longer for them to realize things, give him his space and time he needs to grow up
  • Sep 29, 2008, 04:53 AM
    ashlayy06

    Yeah, basically.
    Thank you!
  • Sep 29, 2008, 06:27 AM
    Romefalls19

    Some people just don't want to be bothered with their exes. It's that simple, there are ex's that I couldn't care less to talk to and even less to hear about. Maybe one day he will talk to you again, but why are you so worried about talking to him again. You think he isn't over you, but you don't seem to be completely over him either or else you wouldn't be asking yourself these questions.
  • Sep 30, 2008, 06:18 AM
    ashlayy06

    He talks to ALL of his ex's, just not me. It's just that, every time I don't talk to him for a while, or when I get a new boyfriend, he has to find SOME way to get me to notice him.

    I just don't want to keep this up for a while. I don't feel like wasting my time with him wanting to get me to notice him.
  • Sep 30, 2008, 07:16 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:

    I don't feel like wasting my time with him wanting to get me to notice him.
    Then don't. Just ignore him. If you stick to it he will eventually leave you alone. I think on some level, you want his attention, but until you are over him completely, you will notice him.
  • Sep 30, 2008, 07:55 AM
    BMI

    He's clearly not over you, you are not so clearly not over him (does that make sense?? ).

    Girls talking to other guys or exes dating other guys is just about the worst thing a guy can see (other than cheating of course).

    We resent a girl breaking up with us, more so if she finds another dude. Whether right or wrong in our perception we feel as if the girl left because she wants someone better, if she is with someone we feel as if she thinks thisguy is better than us. It's not always so but it appears that way at a very elementary analysis (which after a break up is all us guys are capable of).

    I understand his resentment, its not right, its not mature, but it comes from somewhere and it hurts. Best thing would be to avoid him as much as possible. He'll get over it and you will too.
  • Sep 30, 2008, 05:24 PM
    ashlayy06

    All right, sounds good.

    THANKS EVERYONE!
  • Sep 30, 2008, 07:54 PM
    Fredj88
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by BMI View Post
    He's clearly not over you, you are not so clearly not over him (does that make sense???).

    Girls talking to other guys or exes dating other guys is just about the worst thing a guy can see (other than cheating of course).

    We resent a girl breaking up with us, moreso if she finds another dude. Whether right or wrong in our perception we feel as if the girl left b/c she wants someone better, if she is with someone we feel as if she thinks thisguy is better than us. It's not always so but it appears that way at a very elementary analysis (which after a break up is all us guys are capable of).

    I understand his resentment, its not right, its not mature, but it comes from somewhere and it hurts. Best thing would be to avoid him as much as possible. He'll get over it and you will too.

    It burns especially right after like my ex already has feelings for some other guy.
  • Oct 1, 2008, 06:50 AM
    ashlayy06

    Trust me, I know.

    When I found out he had a girlfriend that he was "in love" with, I was wicked upset for a long time. I just didn't react as immature as he did. I didn't tell anyone about how I felt about it.
  • Oct 3, 2008, 09:04 AM
    ashlayy06

    UPDATE!

    His recent ex Hannah told me that he told her to "fight me" and then he didn't want to go to a mall near me because he thought I was going to be there.

    GREAT!
  • Oct 3, 2008, 10:36 AM
    BMI

    The not going to the mall because you are going to be there is understandble, the getting his girl to fight you is most definitely not.

    Unless of course he really wanted to see a catfight:)
  • Oct 3, 2008, 01:49 PM
    ashlayy06

    HAHA!

    I'm good friends with Hannah, we could always pretend to fight?
    Hah.

    I don't know, he's confusing as hell.
  • Oct 10, 2008, 07:20 AM
    ashlayy06

    HEY GUYS!

    He commented a YouTube video of me and him and he was like, "can we stop fighting? because this video made me smile actually."

    Then he IM'd me on AIM and said, "just f.y.i. (don't tell anyone this though) I actually shed a tear or two watching those videos of us. and you totally have to send me those pictures of us."

    Yeah, wow.

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