Well, me and my girl broke it off on 9/20 officially. I have talked to her almost every day since then. One minute she wants me to be there, and then the next she doesn't. Today she told me that she's already seeing someone else. She hasn't deleted my photos from her myspace or even deleted me as one of her friends. She still has under most of the pics "there's my baby" or "there's my baby and me."

Because of this, most of my friends don't think it's over. A lot of them think that she's lying to me about seeing someone else because she wants me to feel horrible. Well, anyway, I decided today that I'm starting NC. It's going to be very hard because we've been together for so long and never gone a day without talking to each other... but it's something that I have decided that I have to do.

I almost broke it within the first five minutes. I'm weak when it comes to her, she's my absolute weakness... I never give in to anyone like I do her... but I have to be strong and go on with my life now. I know that if it is meant to be, then she will return one day.

It's going to be rough, real rough. Possibly the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Whenever you feel like breaking NC, come here and post instead, we are all here to help you out.

My break up was around the 8/20, I'm still struggling mate, broke the nc rule today actually big mistake, stay strong and delete all numberss... its not meant to be 95% of relationships don't ever get back together, things will change in your mind soon and your start to come to terms with that.

Don't worry about is, hard. We all break NC at one point or another and immediately regret it afterward. I did it. Just have to jump back on and start again.

I have learnt that the best thing to be is to keep yourself busy. Feel really sorry for you Guidostern.. but if you may know, most of us are in the same boat...
I will never understand why it (nc) has to happen if it happens.

Because it sweeps the very life out of your body.
Good luck dude.

And please keep posting and sharing.. we know we are not alone then.

I haven't deleted my ex's pics from my facebook profile..

waiting until I get more pics of myself and then change it :)

my ex, on the other hand, wants no fuqing connection with me.

That's a good thing, hj. While it sucks now, see it as an easier opportunity for you to move on. No easy urges.

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Originally Posted by BrewCrew0981

That's a good thing, hj. While it sucks now, see it as an easier opportunity for you to move on. No easy urges.

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It also sucks cause she is interested in someone else... and she now parties in college..

which is normal~

But... not normal when her parents are spending $35k to $40k/year for her art school when they make less than $40k/year
Unfortunately, they don't know she's partying, drinking, and screwing around xD


Whatever about her... if she ends up in the streets of San Francisco and I see her... I ain't stopping.


Here is a funny part... there is a young girl who says she wants me to bang her..

although there is a huge age gap xD

I feel your pain, my girlfriend just recently left me about 2 weeks ago for another guy as well. I'm up to day 3 of official hopefully long lasting NC. It's been hard, especially when I work in the same building as the club she is in (we live on a college campus/same dorm floor as well, hard to avoid her forever) and I have to walk by the room, she is usually there today while I'm working but she wasn't today, thankfully because I probably would have broken NC if I saw her. She likely slept through her class because she stays up too late with her new boyfriend, she has already done it a few times. I feel sorry for her but it's her own choice. Turns out her new boy toy made things better for me by staying up with her all night most likely. Oh well.

Just don't give up. Don't check her myspace/facebook/whatever. I blocked her on AIM, deleted her off my phone and Facebook and made my Facebook private to only friends. I just have to resist the urge to look at hers, but she can't see anything going on in my life now, I'm just living life without her.

Long story short: Don't give up, I know what you're going through, and if I can potentially do it, I know anybody else can too.

NC is the hardest thing I have ever done. She broke up with me on my birthday, great present, right!! Anyway she called after about three weeks and I answer now right back to square one. So stick with it, helps you believe me. Just don't even think about her myspace because it doesn't mean anything you are just grasping for hope, don't you are setting yourself up for more hurt. Let her go, I know very hard, but you need to worry about you and ONLY YOU. She made her choice let her live with it. Good Luck

I hate NC, its so hard, talking to someone every day for 3 years and now poof can't anymore.

Yeah, right after I wrote this, I broke it... she called me... I just had my soul smashed into a million pieces because of it. She told me that she loves me, but doesn't want to be with me and then turns around and says she misses my touch.

She told me she went out on a date with a guy last night and they were messing around and that's where she was going tonight too. One of my friends thought she could fix it, so she called her (I told her not to call my ex) and my ex told her that she just couldn't take the pain anymore... she has to move on and instead of laying in bed crying her eyes out, this time she's going to start dating immediately after we broke up... I feel horrible... she's 500 miles away and all I can think of is getting in my truck and driving back down there... I want to hear her voice, I want to feel her touch my face to let me know I'm still alive... like I said, my other friends are like "Oh, she'll be asking you to come back in about a month or so..." I don't even have that false hope anymore...

Thank God for old friends that are still around here... they are getting me though the tough times... sometimes with beer and whiskey, but they're still trying to help... so anyway, I haven't talked or texted her since then... she sent me my resume via email and that was it.

Many of you are so right... this is the absolute hardest thing I've ever had to do... she's been a constant in my life for so long, that I can't even think about not talking to her... this is horrible... I feel physically ill right now because of it...

Man it took a tough conversation to get me to realize things. That stupid saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you" just erks me.

Best thing you can do is not answer that phone when she calls. Do not search for bits and pieces of information of her new life. Cut all ways of contact some have even gone as far as changing numbers etc. Embrace all the good times and learn from the bad you had with her. As hard as it is to let go do so and you'll be feeling better. Do not give yourself false hope.

I'd advise you to stay away from alcohol until you're a bit better mentally.

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Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo

Man it took a tough convo to get me to realize things. That stupid saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you" just erks me.

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Absolutely strict NC if she dumps you for someone else or if the saying you mentioned applies in your case. Am just cross opined if and where there is a case where she neither dumps you and nor is it the case with the saying "I love you but I'm not in love with you"

Guys if what I just mentioned makes sense to even one person I'll be happy!

Oh, no... she told me that she is still madly in love with me... no, she didn't break it off for another guy... so don't go there again... I know she didn't because I know what happened.

She called me again last night while I was out with some friends. One of my friends answered the phone for me and talked to her. She asked where I was and they said "He's busy doing something right now, if you need to discuss anything with him, let us know what it is, and we'll tell him." This apparently hurt her... my friend said that she was crying at the end of the phone call... but the ball's no longer in my court... that's her choice, not mine.

There is no choice at all. You need to walk away and stay away. Don't even answer her calls or her texts, if anything tell her you no longer wish to talk to her. She made her bed and now she must lie in it

But then I must remember that I still have to go back there to get my love seat and other stuff... so I will be forced to talk to her at some point.

Send 2 friends to get it, or ask her when she won't be there so you can retrieve your things

Hello my fellow Texan, Sorry for your pain, but you have been here long enough to know the drill, complete no contact. What she wants is no longer important, neither are her tears, and you are in the healing process. That's your focus for now, not seeing her to retrieve some furniture.

Be glad the roller coaster ride is over(?), and you can regroup without her.

In the long run you know that's best, so you can be prepared and have a cool head for what life throws at you next. Trust me, life will throw more at you.

I have followed this whole saga, and have confidence you'll do the right things for yourself.

Let her wonder where your at, and what your doing, not the other way around.

NO CONTACT, be busy and unavailable!!!

Guys, I really appreciate the advise here in almost all threads on nc... actually what all of you have suggested is the right thing to do.. "no contact at all during nc and after it too.

Its easier said than done ofcourse; but I feel like appreciating each one of you who has still advised to be in control and strictly follow nc despite the trauma one has to face through this entire chapter in life.

Just feel like bagging hats off to all of you. :-)
Much appreciated!

And has someone observed the uproar on the number of nc cases filling in threads specially in the last few weeks? Guess its nc season mates.. :(
Need to come out strong through the season.. good luck.

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Originally Posted by snowalps

and has someone observed the uproar on the number of nc cases filling in threads specially in the last few weeks?? guess its nc season mates .. :(
need to come out strong through the season..good luck.

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Yeah seems like as soon as people got back to school everyone got dumped. :(

Getting by for now as well, day 4 of no contact, hopefully I stay busy this weekend and won't want to talk to her at any point, I came way too close to breaking the no contact rule yesterday.

Still extremely anxious about the situation, but I'm able to eat again so I know I'm slowly getting somewhere I feel, I keep asking myself "if she came back to me, would I still take her back" and I'm torn from the situation, but the answer would depend on the circumstances now and no longer an automatic yes. I hope I can get to the point where even if she did come back, I want to be able to tell her no truthfully because I do no longer want to be with her.

Keep on keeping on my friends, we're on our way I hope..

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Originally Posted by jumpin0503

Yeah seems like as soon as people got back to school everyone got dumped. :(

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Yeah, except I'm not a high school kid...

Guess that was just a 'cliche :)

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Originally Posted by Guidostern

Yeah, except I'm not a high school kid...

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If you want to put it like that, I'm not either, I'm in college. =p

But if I had to take a bet I would guess that people leaving for school/finding new people as they get to schools would probably account for a good amount of the increase in breakups.

Sure, but this situation has nothing to do with that... she didn't leave me for someone else... she left me because she was unhappy... period...

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Originally Posted by jumpin0503

Yeah seems like as soon as people got back to school everyone got dumped. :(

Getting by for now as well, day 4 of no contact, hopefully I stay busy this weekend and won't want to talk to her at any point, I came way too close to breaking the no contact rule yesterday.

Still extremely anxious about the situation, but I'm able to eat again so I know I'm slowly getting somewhere I feel, I keep asking myself "if she came back to me, would I still take her back" and I'm torn from the situation, but the answer would depend on the circumstances now and no longer an automatic yes. I hope I can get to the point where even if she did come back, I want to be able to tell her no truthfully because I do no longer want to be with her.

Keep on keeping on my friends, we're on our way I hope..

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LOL your describing me, I'm on day four as well of nc each day seems a little easier. No way I'm even risking contact to feel horrible again. I'm getting my appetite back as well. But your ahead of me if she came back I'm still at automatic yes, prays for strength.

That's exactly how I feel, Fred. Sure, I'm only on day two, with one time actually talking to her, but I haven't seen her since Saturday night when she kissed me goodbye with tears in her eyes, holding on to me.

I feel like crap... seriously. I'm not hungry at all, I feel like crying, even though I don't, and I am lost without this girl in my life. This is number three as far as failed long term relationships go for me... which none of them I took this hard, not even losing my ex wife. At this point, I set here thinking, am I really supposed to find someone and be happy? Why couldn't it have been her, we're perfect together in every way, why take her away from me?

I have all but lost my faith. I hope and pray every day that she returns into my arms, but I don't know if that will ever happen. Tal is right though, part of me is relieved because we were putting each other through so much pain the last few months.

I've been trying to surround myself with people who will be a positive influence, but every some of my friends keep telling me "She'll come back, that's why she keeps calling you...you are the one constant in her life and you remind her that she is loved and cared for, like no one else ever could." I try not to listen to them, but it's so fresh that I can't help but have that hope sometimes.

I'm feeling really weak right now. She just got off work 40 minutes ago... I'm thinking about what she is doing, her Y! Messenger account says that she's mobile... so is she on a date, or is she out with friends? My mind is wondering, and I don't know that I'm strong enough to make it through this anymore... it's like my legs have been cut off...

Don't give up. You can make progress, but I definitely found that looking at her Y! Messenger status/facebook status/anything associated with her doesn't help, I'm curious as well at times with my situation, but it's all a process, you just have to commit to your decision to even begin moving on it seems in my opinion. I've noticed that now that I have committed to it, it seems to be becoming easier day by day.

I'm trying very hard not to give up. I'm going out with an old friend tonight that has always sent me in the right path. He's been there from the time my father passed, to this.

I know that I've already lost her, but I SO wish I wouldn't have. It seems to be harder every day... it took me a week or two to get over my ex-wife... but I was the one who did the breaking that time... this is just so hard because I care about this girl more than she'll ever know... she told one of our mutual friends last night "I really hope he can fix himself, not only for my sake, but his." Now, this friend is someone I haven't talked to in almost a year, and she knows this... it's someone that I don't exactly get along with anymore either... so I keep thinking that she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it... especially to this person. I'm short of breath right now, but almost numb... this sucks really bad... I never knew I would go through this with her. It was pretty rocky for a while, but hey; what relationship doesn't go through some tough times?

I just wish that she could see the changes I've made in the last five days... I hate this so bad...

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Originally Posted by Guidostern

I'm trying very hard not to give up. I'm going out with an old friend tonight that has always sent me in the right path. He's been there from the time my father passed, to this.

I know that I've already lost her, but I SO wish I wouldn't have. It seems to be harder every day...it took me a week or two to get over my ex-wife...but I was the one who did the breaking that time...this is just so hard because I care about this girl more than she'll ever know...she told one of our mutual friends last night "I really hope he can fix himself, not only for my sake, but his." Now, this friend is someone I haven't talked to in almost a year, and she knows this...it's someone that I don't exactly get along with anymore either...so I keep thinking that she wouldn't say that if she didn't mean it...especially to this person. I'm short of breath right now, but almost numb...this sucks really bad...I never knew I would go through this with her. It was pretty rocky for a while, but hey; what relationship doesn't go through some tough times?

I just wish that she could see the changes I've made in the last five days...I hate this so bad...

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Do what I do.

Try to forget the ex. Talk to friends who DON'T know your ex.
Work harder and focus on yourself.

For me, I'm younger than you (I'm 19) and got out of a 15 month relationship with a girl who is now a 8itch and "burns" her parents money by hanging out with new friends... as well as partying and looking for a new guy.

On my side, I'm focusing myself on pursuing a nursing degree (it's actually 4 degrees combined) and return to university to get my degree in psychology. While I'm going for my nursing degree, I am working part-time where I've earned a lot of reputation around... probably cause I'm a new guy and really chill :)

Just take time to yourself.

Oh yes.... for showing that you've changed...
Hmm~ Just master yourself, your emotions, attitude etc. and attract other people.
And when the day comes where you see your ex once again, you'll know that you are better off without her.

NC is super hard when you're weak for the person. We just have to try and be strong for ourself.

Well am I ever weak...

Last night I go out with some friends... they get me hammered... drank at least a 1/4 of a gallon of Jäger and about a 6 pack. Well, I don't remember much at all. I don't even remember how I got back to my brothers.

Well, I check my phone for messages/missed calls... well, I kind of drunk dialed her probably 10-15 times last night. I know she never answered, even though I don't remember any of it.

So, yeah... I'm weak for her and while she misses me, my smile, my touch... she's out with other guys going on with her life while I set here hurting, praying for God or whatever there is out there to return her to me. So yeah, I'm weak and it didn't work out the way I planned... so now I have to start over AGAIN!

Hmm, you don't remember much, but you remembered her number.

It has been programmed into my phone since the moment we met.

I don't know that I can do this... I have to do everything in my power for her to return into my arms. I shouldn't have called her, and no I don't remember doing it. I don't know how to move on without her. She's the love of my life. She's been my dream come true.

Unprogram her, and get some sleep, and start over.

Well, of course... I started over... it's hard, but I know I can do this... It just takes the determination that I seem to have now... So, now to picking myself up off the floor and dusting myself off... I got to worry about me now, she no longer matters at all... even though it hurts, I got to do this.

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Originally Posted by Guidostern

Well, of course...I started over...it's hard, but I know I can do this...It just takes the determination that I seem to have now...So, now to picking myself up off the floor and dusting myself off...I gotta worry about me now, she no longer matters at all...even though it hurts, I gotta do this.

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Exactly. All about picking yourself up. You will be better and stronger after this. Keep pushing onwards.