Entire story merged

Hey everyone!
Well, in a nutshell, My ex and I broke up about a year and a half ago. For the first year he wouldn't talk to me, PERIOD!! I couldn't eat or sleep for months, I was so sick over our breakup. Just recently, we took a week vacation to las vegas and we had a great time. We acted as if we were together again and it was so nice.. I have remained there for him whenever he needs me, and for any reason he may need me. I guess that's where I messed up. When we started talking again, he told me that he did still love me, and from time to time, he makes comments about moving with him and asking me if I could be happy in a different state with him and just chill?
Oh, when he broke up with me I was 4months pregnant. I had the baby right before we started back talking, and I gave the baby up, not knowing if I was ever going to see him again?
What should I do? I do want him back, BAD

THANKS

If he wants you back and you want him back, why are you confused? If your are doing things that couple do by going on trips and such, what's going on?

I am confused because I feel as if he is playing games with me. Don't know how he truly feels. He made a comment to me one day that he "always knows where I am" What's that about?

He didn't say that he wanted me back... He just said that he still loves me

Then maybe you shouldn't hang around him as much. He might just want some benefits from you. When your around him does he ask to have sex with you? Stop doing things that boyfriends and girlfriends does because it can make it confusing.

He is just playing you, you are something to do while nothing else is going on. He does not like being alone and you are his permanent spare. Quit it. Leave him alone don't answer calls don't call, talk, text, etc. him. Go on it is hard but you can do it. If he want a real relationship with you, you and him would already be back together.

I've tried to get over him, but the love is still too strong. He was the first man I can honestly say "i'm in love with", and I'm 33yrs old. He is 34. Too old to be playing games
When I make comments to him about me moving on, and why it's so easy for him to move on, tell him to help me move on, he doesn't respond

If it make you sick I think its time to move on

Hey guys, it's me again...

Took some of your guys advice and let my ex know that I found out he was either dating another female or sleeping with another female, and that I couldn't bring myself to continue to help him out i.e... financially, emotionally. His response was" well then don't call me anymore and I won't call you. I'm tired of you calling me with this BS, etc...
Is he mad because I confronted him about another woman, and The only woman who he could ever count on (me) has now decided to let him go... Did I do the right thing?
Oh, and I DO NOT know if he truly does have someone. I would think not if he goes on vacation with me and is at my beck and call
Help

Of course -- don't call him anymore. You did the RIGHT thing.

The BIGGER question is how are you going to get a guy that respects you and is a friend to you? It sounds like you have had a rough time and a great career and good education are not happening right now. I would try to take a class that will further your life and train you. It is the key to your survival and moving somehere better and meeting men that don't want to just take your money and get you preganant.

Break up

So when he broke up with you, he didn't want to be a father but now that you've given the child up, he's all for using you for sex again. Somehow I bet you could do better.

Sex and money apparently! When I first found out I was pregnant, I asked him if he wanted me to keep it and he said yes. Said he could 't father the child without us being together. I know he was truly in love with me while we were together. He cried about us in front of my son.

When in pleasure you are together but when in trouble, you are alone. Wan't to go back the same cycle again? Men like this doesn't have balls and only make your life more complicated. You don't need to be 43 to decide well for yourself. Get rid of him... for good!

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Originally Posted by ylaira

Men like this doesn't have balls !

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This is truly one of the worst tools I think we've heard about here. Having no balls just doesn't say it enough, this is the ultimate coward, leaving a woman and baby behind and then actually taking the woman back after she gives up the child. I just can not wrap my head around such cowardly, gutless behavior. I almost wonder if men who beat women are better then this, they at least don't run from then when they get pregnant and force the woman to give up the child. This is emotional torture and it's mind numbing to think he's even considered for a second chance.

Diamond, would you want your child dating a douche like this? Why then suffer yourself like this.

You need to get away from this and get your head back on straight.

You did the right thing.

I read a quote somewhere that sort of applies here: if he had enough nerve to cut you loose, you need enough courage to stay gone.

You did the right thing. Stop concentrating or concerning yourself with how he feels or what he is thinking.

Take of yourself and stay away from him. Don't contact him and stop allowing him access to you so you can move on with your life and get what you truly deserve. You're better than this bs.

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Originally Posted by diamond75

I've tried to get over him, but the love is still too strong. He was the first man I can honestly say "i'm in love with", and I'm 33yrs old. He is 34. too old to be playin games
When i make comments to him about me movin on, and why it's so easy for him to move on, tell him to help me move on, he doesn't respond

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You don't need his help for you to move on that's something you do without him. Having him hanging around will only make it worse for and you will continue fall deeper and deeper in love with him and relive the heartache that you already been through with him. Yes 34 is too old to be paying games but are you really surprise he is? He can and will only do what you allow him too and then it will bd partly your fault. You already know what type of man he is, this isn't new to you, so why put yourself through the motions. You need start saying you can move instead of saying you can't. Change your thinking process and you'll be surprise at what you can do and realize how strong you really is. There're plenty guys out there who aren't game players and for real but this one isn't. Time to close the door and buried the key and keep him in the past.

When confronted with the discovery of wrong-doing, a very effective technique is to not only not deny it, but to snarl rudely back at the accuser in a careless way. He knows he's caught, he knows you're dumping him, and this lets him trick YOU into feeling guilty about it after you hang up with him.

Did it work? I bet it did. Don't be fooled. He's done you a huge favor. Thank him in your mind and don't look back.

He had the choice of having an adult discussion about your concerns & instead chose to tell you to go away. If he's not going to fight for your relationship, not fight to raise your child together & only want to fight WITH you instead of for what will make your life a better one together, why aren't you paying attention to that? You may love him with all your heart & he may love you all he can in his immature way, but it's not going to be enough to make it worthwhile to have him as a life partner.

He has cost you enough already, when you had to kill your dreams of providing a good safe home for your child together & he bailed until after you let the adoption go through. You aren't likely to have a good safe home or life with him either, I'm afraid.

I'm sorry for all you've had to go through & hope you start having a much better life soon, with someone that can truly appreciate the wonderful person you are & all you have to offer will be reciprocated instead of mistreated the way he has done & keeps doing.

I think you did the right thing. He needs to learn how to deal with his problems alone for once without you taking care of him all the time. Plus it sounds like he really needs to grow up. I think you did the right thing though. Don't worry. :)

<3 kt

You left that out in your other post about his having or sleeping with somebody else and about the supporting him fiancially.

Everyone was basically telling you to leave him alone, you didn't even have to confront him nor did you owe him an explanation. He is your ex and let keep it that way, don't contact him longer nor hang out with him. Also, never support a guy fiancially because your not obligation to do so. The only person you worry about supporting is your child. He's 34 and only a year older than you, never be anyone fool and always take care of you first over a man and love yourself more and stand strong. People today will get over on you and if you allow them too they will continue doing so.

Not only did you do the right thing, you gave yourself a chance to be happy with someone who cares enough to be loyal.

All you have to do is not call, as he said. Don't let him flip the script on you, and make it seem like its all your fault.

Celebrate your freedom, and new oppurtunities to be happy.

Use what he told you, do not call him anymore

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I'm 33yrs old. He is 34. Too old to be playing games

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You got that part right!!

Hello,

It's been a year and a half since I broke up with my ex. 7 months ago, he came back into my life after not seeing or talking to him for a year. We lived together the entire time we were together, 2 YEARS. This man broke my heart in so many ways, so many times, it's crazy...
Point of the matter is, I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN AND CAN'T STOP LOVING HIM...
I just kicked him back out of my life a week ago. I felt so relieved but why after all this time can I not get over him?

Please help with some encouraging words... I have no family to talk with about this

Sometimes when you share a close relationship with someone, it IS hard to get over them. But if he doesn't treat you well then it is good you are no longer together. There are other fish in the sea. I know it hurts when you love and care about someone but you just don't mesh. But just think this is your opportunity to meet someone new- someone who will treat you like the special person that you are.

You are right! The thing about it is that I met this guy about 2 weeks ago, seems really nice, we're getting to know each other and I found out that he has the same birthday as my ex that we are speaking of. He also has a lot of other similarities. Kind of spooked me out at first. Is this a sign that they are a lot alike?

I'm in the same situation right now. My ex and me broke up about five are six months ago. She cheated on me and left for me for the guy she cheated with. I know I should hate her but I don't (weird huh). What you have to do is get busy doing other things get out there and date. Hang with friends go back to school. You need to occupy your thoughts. I can't promise you the love you feel will go away but keeping yourself busy will help... Good Luck:)

Put simply, it will take more than a week, and each time you see him, or talk to him, will set you back further.

You will be in an awful lot of emotional pain, but STRICT NO CONTACT is exactly what you need.

It won't be easy but I think you know you have to stop it.

So be strong.. and don't give up

It will take a while but you know this already

Your on the right track just stick with it :)

Best of luck

Your be surprised at what you can do when you set your mind to it. Instead of using the words can't try can. I can do this instead of I can't do this.

Letting go is hard but in the end it is worth it. Being that the break-up is fresh your most likely thinking of the good times and not the bad. It's weird how the mind works.

When thoughts of him enter your mind, push them away and remember why you broke up in the first place. In the meantime don't watch sad movies or listen to love songs. If you have anything of his in your house store it away or put it out with the trash. Keep yourself busy. Whatever you do don't contact him nor take him back. Keep him in the past and look towards the future. In a few months you will reflect on your relationship with him and understand how you deserved better.

Thanks to all oy you so far who have given me your encouraging words... they truly helped a lot!! Keep them coming please, and GOD BLESS!