Hey guys... hope you all can help me out here. Will try to make my post as short as possible...

Its been a 6 days my girlfriend broke up our 2 yrs strong relationship... I used the word strong because I was never in love with someone so deeply and it was the same for her as well...

Well when she called it "quit" she was like she does love me but needs some space for now etc.. Same night we texted she responded as well saying sorry but I miss you too bad... blah blah blah.. but the next day I called her that I wanted to talk to her she was mad and furious she made me feel like I was talking to a stranger for an appointment to meet so then I hung up dang... that hurt me so freaking much... then I didn't make any contact whatsoever for 2 days but at the same I missed her so much even though I was angry I was ready to forgive her because in anger people say things which they don't mean you know...

Anyway as on the 3rd day she was on 7 days trip to meet her parents out of the country well then I emailed her the 2nd night of her trip (long email) because I missed her too bad and wanted to hear something from her... well haven't heard from her at all sometimes I just feel like calling her straight but I'm too scared that I may hear the same pissed off woman like our last conversation...

As I read a lot of post here... I think No Contact is the Word... but in 3 weeks time I'm going to be leaving the country for 6 months which she knows too but she doesn't know that I'm leaving in 3 weeks it was tentatively 2 months when we were together.

So my question is sh'l I tell her tru email or text her or just call her... I m so confused if no contact is the way then I would feel terrible if I don't tell her or see her before I leave the country.

I would appreciate if someone could throw few advise for me.

Thank you very much.

If it really was that strong she would have not broken it off. Why shoould you feel bad about leaving?

The "space" thing always means there is someone else or interest in someone else.

I agree, no contact.

Why are you going out of the country for 6 months? It seems to me that you both are doing things that are going to cause an separation anyway, am I wrong?

Your going overboard in the emails , etc... you need to stop.

If you feel the necessity of telling her that you are going away in 3 weeks then let her know, it is up to you.

Like the above answer has said.. If it was so strong then there would be no reason for separation you both are in different places right now.

Look man take it from someone who is/had gone through the break period. Occupy your time and take it as its over for now. Do not and this is not to win her back or anything but to help you, go no contact. Let her contact you if she wants. Do not sit on the back burner for her so when she is done doing what she wants can just come back to comfort zone. She can not have her cake and eat it too man.

I cannot explain how I felt being put on hold while she figured out what she wanted. I know exactly how you feel. Go no contact when ever you get the urge to text, call or e-mail write it on here. If you keep contacting her you will push her further away. Her lashing out proves that.

You need to know there is nothing you can do to change a persons feelings. Do not dwell in your room get out and live life as hard as it sounds.

Listen to the people on here man they know what they are talking about it might seem hopeless and pointless but they truly know what they are talking about.

No Contact is for people to heal after a break up. Its for you to have time to let the emotional dust settle and you can get your own act together. It lets you keep your dignity and self respect, by focusing on you and your coping with your loss.

Having said that, we have what you have said.

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its been a 6 days my girlfriend broke up our 2 yrs strong relationship... I used the word strong because I was never in love with someone so deeply and it was the same for her as well...

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Somewhere along the line her feelings changed and for whatever reasons, she obviously didn't feel the same.

That's something you have to accept, and respect. I would advice you to let this go for now, and leave her alone, and rebuild your own life without her in it, and cope with your loss. Great time to do other things, with other people, and resist the urge to contact her in any fashion or form. Give this and yourself, some time to be okay with this change in your life.

Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, and get a better understanding of NC, and why it is so highly recommended, at least by me.

I truly suspect, she and you, would have separated anyway, as you both have plans that takes you in different directions.

Thank you for prompt response.

"atyouservice"- yes you are right if it was so strong then why break off well it did faded off in the end for her which is obvious.


"jesushelper"- I will be away for 6 months for work purpose and just before we broke my girlfriend was going to join me as well whenever I was leaving.

"wickedjuggalo"- I hear you loud and clear... and I know people here know what they are talking otherwise I wouldn't have been here asking for help.

"talaniman"- appreciate your post too... well this has been so double feeling kind of thing my graph is like at the peak and same time at the bottom.

So guys sh'l I ignore her and not talk at all whenever we bump into each other at work place. We don't work at same place but its like very next door.

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Originally Posted by myselfme99

well when she called it "quit" she was like she does love me but needs some space for now etc.. same night we texted she responded as well saying sorry but i miss you too bad...blah blah blah.. but the next day i called her that i wanted to talk to her she was mad and furious she made me feel like i was talking to a stranger for an appointment to meet so then i hung up dang...that hurt me so freaking much

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She's had more time to think about this than you have. In fact, she has been thinking about breaking up ("needing space") for a long time and finally got up the courage to tell you.

I don't get a hopeful feeling when I read your post. It won't matter to her when you are going away; she has no plans to go with you no matter what. She's pushing you away before you leave so it won't be an issue between you. Observe the NC thing and get on with your life.

Be the better person and say Hi. Be courteous. You don't have to ask her anything... but don't be an about it. She can turn it around and say "what a "... right?

She choose to break it off, not you.

First off.. any serious relationship doesn't involve "text conversations". Obviously the occasional sweet texts are needed but never a full blown conversation. That's childish, and not a serious relationship. Scratch texting her out of your mind completely. If it's serious you will not act immature about this. The mature thing to do is call her, ask her meet up someplace relaxing and alive (by that I mean there will be other people around) either restaurant or park will do, and tell her then. The idea to be around people will keep you both calm and no yelling will be issued because quite plainly there's people around and usually normal people don't want to make a scene. So no yelling = no anger. No anger = flowing conversation between the two of you and none of the "heat of the moment" crap. Call her, say you understand how things are right now and ask kindly if she will meet with you. Let her no talking in person makes a hell of a difference then on the phone because you can see and feel the person. It's not just a voice. Go for it.

Thank you guys for your responses...

Well she did reply my email and whatever she said on email meant no need of more argument and discussion over it because according to her she doesn't have that respect for me as she had it before and justification will not bring me back for now though that's her words. Well I know I love her too much but at the same time if she is happy being apart then that's good... now I do respect her decision because even if I convinced to get her back then our daily life won't be like before will feel like pressured.

Anyway I feel better after I heard a word from her. After she comes back I'm going to tell about my departure and end this on a friendly note because I just cannot hate the same person in a day or months or year) whom I love A lot.

Right now I really don't have any feelings to get her back and may be there is hope or none at all later. All I want for now is to focus my life and start moving ahead if she wants to come back then at that time I can think about it carefully and not fret about it now.

You guys are truly doing an amazing job here.

Thanks A MILLION!!

Cheers.

Originally from wickedjuggalo:

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Look man take it from someone who is/had gone through the break period. Occupy your time and take it as its over for now. Do not and this is not to win her back or anything but to help you, go no contact. Let her contact you if she wants. Do not sit on the back burner for her so when she is done doing what she wants can just come back to comfort zone. She can not have her cake and eat it too man.

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I agree with that, a lot of girls now days like to have more then one option and it's sad but it's true. You can't wait around for her to come back to you. If she still has feelings for you she'll come back. If she doesen't then that shouldn't be your problem as much as it may hurt. It would kind of be hard to keep in a relationship like you claim you had if your that far away. Try taking it from a girl who has been in this situation but on the girls point of view... I've felt what you've been through too. Getting dumped is not a piece of cake, especially when you really have feelings for them. I had to do this once to a guy... I still had feelings for him but it's just I didden't feel much of a connection when we talked. Like I miss him and everything but the feeling is numbed. Possibly were you not seeing her enough? Or too much? Girls take those kind of things really seriously and because all females eventually pms that doesen't help either and get annoyed easily with people for no reason. If I were you I'd let her know you still like her.. alot even, and if she's letting you go then that's her loss, not yours.

Appreciate your view... are you my girlfriend because you do sound like her :-)... well it was that I was spending too much time with her.. of course she knows that how much I care and love her then she wouldn't have even cared to reply my email... as she says she lost respect towards and she says in her email that you are an awesome person but not on romantic level anymore... well what can I say now.

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Originally Posted by myselfme99

appreciate ur view... are u my gf coz u do sound like her :-)... well it was that i was spending too much time with her..of course she knows that how much i care and love her then she wouldnt have even cared to reply my email... as she says she lost respect towards and she says in her email that you are an awesome person but not on romantic level anymore...well what can i say now.

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Well what you can do is lift you head up and embrace the wide world. Use this as a learning experience because if you do not then the pain will be all for nothing and you will be doomed to repeat it. Do not hold on to false hope, like I said it sucks and the pain will be there for a while but get out and live life do not slowly decay away in a dark corner of a room.

Hey "wicked"... of course I know the fact that its not end of the world and I have things to do in life... I m not a kind of person who will keep myself locked in a room... I have had hard times in my life and my attitude towards life has always been like finding happiness in the saddest, f**kiest moments too... there is always some good in bad .

As for my girlfriend of course I love her and love her a lot but I just cannot hate a person whom I wanted to spend my life with... as of now my hopes of getting her back or not is "zilch" because I know in time I will get the ans for sure but now it's a BIG confusion even fortune teller can choke on this ;-)

Women are indeed complicated not to say men are too on lower level.

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Originally Posted by myselfme99

hey "wicked"...of course i know the fact that its not end of the world and i have things to do in life...i m not a kind of person who will keep myself locked in a room...i have had hard times in my life and my attitude towards life has always been like finding happiness in the saddest, f**kiest moments too...there is always some good in bad .

as for my gf of course i love her and love her alot but i just cannot hate a person whom i wanted to spend my life with...as of now my hopes of getting her back or not is "zilch" coz i know in time i will get the ans for sure but now its a BIG confusion even fortune teller can choke on this ;-)

women are indeed complicated not to say men are too on lower level.

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That is good :) but remember these things are like roller coasters they go up and down. You might feel that way today but tomorrow you very well might feel the opposite. I wish you the best in the healing process.

Since past 2 days the percentage of up is more then being down though I lost weight but man I do look good now ;-).

Hey guys... since my healing process is like up and down I sometimes come up with some questions and post it here.

- is it good after break-up to become just "friends" ?

-when a girl calls it "quit" does this has better chances of getting back together later or when the guy calls it "quit" has... which has the higher percentage?

-also this question to woman only... when girlfriend breaks up do they really don't care about the guy they loved before or they are just acting like they done care and keep distance??

Well so far I'm doing okay... sometimes I really really really miss her but then sometimes its like what the heck!!

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Originally Posted by myselfme99

hey guys...since my healing process is like up and down i sometimes come up with some questions and post it here.

- is it good after break-up to become just "friends" ?

-when a girl calls it "quit" does this has better chances of getting back together later or when the guy calls it "quit" has...which has the higher percentage?

-also this question to woman only....when gf breaks up do they really dont care about the guy they loved before or they are just acting like they done care n keep distance???

well so far i m doing okay...sometimes i really really really miss her but then sometimes its like what the heck !!!

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No it is not a good idea to be just friends. You still have feelings for her and in the end you will just get hurt.

Does it matter what the percent is ? You should not dwell on things like that because then you are just delaying the healing process and holding to false hope.

I'm not a girl but I can give you my opinion on what I have seen. I do believe at the time she said she had feelings for you she meant it but people change. Most of the time it falls into two category's. Things changed or being played. Honestly with you I think she did have feelings for you but as time went on things changed.She wants to see what else is out there. Instead of dwelling explore the world, know someone out there will show you the same amount of love and compassion back as you do to them.

This is like a roller coaster like I said some days will be good some days will be bad just keep your head up and stay no contact.

Thanks for your response... I know my questions were very simple of getting an idea of what will / can happen... I think its one of the symptoms of this so called "healing process".

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Originally Posted by myselfme99

thanks for your response... i know my questions were very simple of getting an idea of what will / can happen...i think its one of the symptoms of this so called "healing process".

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Yes it is natural to want them back after it. Just have to be strong and let go of any control you think you might have over what happened. People change point blank. Its hard pill to swallow but sooner you do the better you will be. Like I said man do not wait around for her, move on like she has moved on. Not saying she is going with anyone but you never know. Find someone who will not question if they want to be with you.

Well I know what you mean and I know this is just the freaking phase for me but at the same time I also feel that even if I build my head strong and guard myself with all these feeling in the end just 1 phone call sh'l not change all my effort of making myself strong.
I don't want to be easily convinced or easily played with---is this me having a BIG ego ?

Naw, its not a big ego to protect yourself, and not fall for bullcrap.

Sorry to tell you and this might come out a little true but she don't want to be with you n haven't for awhile.. u dun just leave someone like that unless she was sick of fyting w u? Did you guys always fyte

Only meet her though if she initiates the next contact with you. You have spoken your peace and she knows you obviously don't want to break up... so the ball is in her court. But to be honest... there is a reason you two split and whatever that reason is... I highly doubt it can be mended with you leaving in three weeks for such a long period. It may be better to just let her go. You two may choose to keep in touch while you are gone... and even try to work things out when you get back. But I wouldn't hold your breath on that happening. Just move on and if its meant to be it will work out. But no more contact!! It's her turn. If she doesn't contact you than you'll know it really is over and she is not the one for you.

Well try to ask her why and try to sort it out. If that doesn't work,move on.

no we didnt fight much at all...just twice in our 2 yrs time... sometimes its really hard to believe that someone who loved you so much may act so harsh n hurt the person u loved once.

even with my past relationship which was for 1 1/2 yr ended with same story she left one fine day, No contact whatsover but then she wanted me back after 1 year well for me it was NO Big Time.

But with the one i just broke up with I have different feeling altogether compare to my past ones...this was more of a mature relationship not fooling around ....so many things are common between us.. almost all the time the way we think is same (not for ending this relationship)...

also my gf current close friend has absolutely influenced her decision to end it. i am saying this with 100% confidence coz her friend herself left her Bf 1 week before my gf broke off with me.oh man these WOOOOOOOOO-MENNNNNNNNNNNNNN

I know i sh'lnt be talking all this but i have to let it out coz when i talk to my friends all they say is they just cannot beleive it and they say it u will find another quickly...oh well i m not buying products with warranty card...so thats why i am here posting my thoughts and gettin some useful views from you guys.

i know i have to move on and forget about getting her back but at the same time i feel that i m losing someone who is really special for me...i am trying to distract away from this topic but then whatever i do i happen to miss her...

i know i just cannot expect her to come back in my life but i hope in a long run i am completely happy to be separated coz i just cannot live like this...its been like 12 hrs of good feeling n another 12 hrs of f***d up feeling.

why are woman so complicated men think that we know woman all good but for me woman dont know themselves let alone men knowing them...

my last broke up (3 yr ago) didnt make me feel so terrible but this one is surely leaving some scars man.

I am in this position becoz I loved her more than anything.

So what was her reason for ending it? She had to have given you an explanation...

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Originally Posted by helpnow

So what was her reason for ending it? She had to have given you an explanation....

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In his first post, he said "she needs space."

But why does she need space... there must be an underlying reason.

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Originally Posted by helpnow

but why does she need space.... there must be an underlying reason.

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Yes and only the girl can truly answer that. You are asking for an unknown unknown :)

If someone I was with told me they needed space after 2 years the first question out of my mouth would be why...

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Originally Posted by helpnow

If someone I was with told me they needed space after 2 years the first question out of my mouth would be why....

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Naturally it is and probably was asked but you want the real reason she wants space and no one but her knows that answer.

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Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo

Naturally it is and probably was asked but you want the real reason she wants space and no one but her knows that answer.

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She may not even know why. Usually it's not a logical thing, but is based on feelings.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

She may not even know why. Usually it's not a logical thing, but is based on feelings.

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Exactly :P its an unknown unknown ;)

Hey people... Answer is --- she needs "space" because she needs it... well that's just an excuse from her to have some reason because just before a week we were talking about visiting some place together etc... and suddenly I was BOMBED... trust me guys there was absolutely no problem this sudden "bombing" thing is shocking and painful.

Well the only discussion as in argument we had in our relationship was that she was moving forward with her job etc and I was delayed by 8 months (had to do some course for that) due to some family and financial problem but eventually I would get there.

That's the reason she feels like she surpassed me and I tried to explain her but she won't listen... she would say that I know its not your fault it's the damn situation and you are doing nothing wrong etc etc.. may be she doesn't like the fact that she has better job than me but you know in another 6 month we will be on the same boat... I just don't get that concept.

how do woman lose respect towards thier BF ? if the guy is soft spoken straightforward smart likable by everyone he meets doesn't smoke,not much of a heavy alcohol fan (glass of wine 4 nights in week) nloves /cares his GF to death.d

For whatever reason she has changed her mind, and with so much emotional investment, its understandable to be angry, and frustrated, and confused.

Her reasons really don't matter much, as it would still hurt.

hey guys... today i feel lil different which is good of course i do miss her but in a different way... i feel like talking to her and straight things out not giving any justification or dig a hole of questions like why, how, when, where nothing like that...i have decided what to do with this and i kinda know what is the reason for this break up.

Since i love her so much and to be honest from the moment i met her i wanted her to be happy esp. with me...well i gave my 200% care, love what not just to see a smile on her face but looks like she wanted something more.(never took care of somebody like the way i did to her ,trust me ppl,even she cannot deny it)

So i think instead of going NC i sh'l just talk to her like a man n stay in touch like a friend not 24/7 contact just weekly n month that kind.... Well even if she realizes (which i doubt) and wants to come back i will not accept it unless she deals with her own head like what she wants.

As she said she wants space well she has it all now and i think the reason is the age difference ...she is 21 and i m 26...some ppl may not agree with me but i think even age difference has a big role to play.

Also I am leaving soon and i did advance my ticket as well for my own good. i did nothing wrong to her when i look in the mirror i dont hate myself as i gave everything to her to keep her happy, no guilt whatsoever..

if she left me once she can leave me 2nd time - 3rd time too well i dont want to play this game...i dont want that woman in my life has a remote control to change the channel whenever she feels like...in a relationship i want that there is no remote to control each others life at all.

according to me for her good i hope that she lives single for at least a year and sort her head like what she wants space universe stars what not coz if she falls in love with someone then man in a months time or year u will see a new member here asking for advise.

what do u guys thinkl... i m really started to accept the fact that Its not the END of the world...there is more to life than one woman to take care of.

My Biggest Mistake in this relationship was that I Cared and Loved herr Wayyyyyyyy to Much SINCERELY.

Don't regret loving someone sincerely... that is never a bad thing. You obviously loved her for a reason. We have people that come in and out of our lives and they all serve their purpose in molding us into the people that we are. I wouldn't have any regrets. Just learn from it and make sure the next woman that you fall for has fallen for you just as much. A relationship needs to be equal for it to work out... and maybe you'll know how to detect earlier on if it is feeling one sided.

Hey "Help now" thank you for your views... I know exactly what you mean but I'm not regretting loving her at all because I know this person loved me the same way like I did a whole lot of time as eyes cannot lie... What I meant was that when the sugar content is too much you leave/throw away the drink without even thinking even if a lot of time you like it the same way... u know what I mean.