Ask Me Help Desk - I am in trouble guys

I am in trouble guys

Okay me and my ex have been broken up for 3 months

Its sad

Because,I have tried the no contact things two times,and every time,exactly a week my ex girlfriend will call me,and I pick up the phone

It seem like things always flip flop,at times we are hanging out with each other kissing,and hugging,even having sex

Then at times she is so cold with me,I asked her if she is still in love with me Sunday night,and it took her awhile to tell me,she said can't you tell by the silence and I said no

And then she finally came out and told me no,she didn't love me,even after a month ago she told me she was in love with me,I got so angry at her,I called her a fake and I hung up on her,she texted me back with this " : ("

I texted her the next day,and told her I apologize for calling her a... and all she texted back was "lol"

Can you guys let me know what's going on with her

Half of me,wants her back,and half of me don't

I feel like if I can actually make it to a month without talking to her,I will finally realize where I want to be,and even work in my part,cause I will be able to move on

But what if I am doing the no contact,and she calls me,she I ignore??

Man you just fuc*ed yourself over , firstly NEVER APOLIGISE and secondly NEVER BREAK NON CONTACT! She's messing with you dude, just go no contact for aslong as possible, try another 2 weeks or even longer, and if she doesn't try get in contact with you, then she's gone, but if she does, it means she still feels something and miss's what you had, that's my 2 cents anyway

p.s she could be testing you to to get a reaction, and thast what you gave her, just give her silence, remember silence is GOLDEN.

She's playing you my friend and your allowing it.

She's told you she doesn't love you so take it as that , IGNORE her and get on with your life.

You just keep going back to the misery and pain. She has what she wants, at your expense, so just stop letting her do it. Block her phone number, and do No Contact for real, and get on with your life, and let her do as she pleases with someone else. She is not going to give you what you want, so stop thinking she will.

How many times do you stand behind a horse and get kicked in the balls before you learn MAYBE I SHOULDN'T STAND BEHIND THIS HORSE! Damn bro! What is your problem? Do you like the pain and confusion? You seriously need to learn that it's over, you are nothing more than a hump buddy to her and will never get her back

I have a friend whose ex-girlfriend did some really terrible things to him. He hated himself for forgiving her. So we decided one day to sit down and write on a piece of paper all of the bad things she had ever done to him. Whenever she would call he would answer the phone, ask her to hold on, and he would go get the piece of paper. He would read it quickly before he would return to the phone. He had a real problem staying angry with her and the piece of paper was always there to remind him what she had done. Put the worst things she's done on the top of the list. Believe it or not it actually worked. She quit bothering him and to this day he still has that piece of paper just in case she ever decides to rear her ugly head again.

Good luck.

Quote:

She could be testing you to to get a reaction, and that's what you gave her

... That's what happens with an ex,no matter how long they've been apart.

If you don't want hurt,don't get in touch with your ex,no matter how much you
Want to!!

You gave her what she wanted,and this time,she just reeled you in! :eek:

I'm letting her run over me I know

She told me that I smothered her

But what I'm wondering is,why she change is fast,went from being in love,to not feeling anything?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay_Bird

But what I'm wondering is,why she change is fast,went from being in love,to not feeling anything?

... You gave her what she wanted so she doesn't need to bother with
You now. :(

You don't just change from loving someone to not loving someone.

From everything you told us, it sounds like she played the love card to get what she wanted and now she still gets it sometimes without loving you.

Sara says... say goodbye... tell her it was fun while it lasted, but you don't need her anymore ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay_Bird

but what I'm wondering is,why she change is fast,went from being in love,to not feeling anything?

Okay...

Step 1) Ignore everything she has said to you in the past. It doesn't mean sh*t anymore.
Step 2) Don't give her the opportunity to say anything new to you (Try NC).

Do this for the next few months and you'll be feeling better... trust me.

OK,I'm going to do no contact

For real this time

Even if she keeps on calling me

Edit and oh yeah

Thanks for all the responses,I do need to man up,because she really is not all that in the first place

Not to sound like I'm all about myself,but I am really beyond her league,and I think now she thinks she is going to get better,but I doubt it

All her friends are single too,so that might have something to do with it

But like wildcat always says

They should not be your life only apart of it

I am going to go a month strong rather she calls,cries,or gripe

I'm going to refuse her text and calls

Thanks guys for the encouragement,I am going to continue to post on this board more

Sorry you are in a bad place. NC is SOOO important. Moving on from a girl/boyfriend is like breaking a habit. Each day it gets a little easier. Every time you have contact it sets you back.
Only 2 things can come from talking to an ex:
1. The conversation goes well - and you feel sad.
2. The conversation goes poorly - and you feel sad.

Yeah every time I break contact

Its like I feel so good at first like a high almost,then after that high,after the comdown it just sucks

Cause I'm back at square one,feeling like I'm being used

But coming to this board as made me feel good,going around and reading all the post knowing that I'm not alone on this

And you right,everyday it gets better,just got to stay busy

Good thing I'm in college,and have good friends to hang out with on weekends

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay_Bird

thanks guys for the encouragement,I am going to continue to post on this board more

There you go.. keep the thread going, and come back when you need encouragement. When your tempted to answer or call back, come here first - we'll set you straight.

What's weird is

She doesn't care or love me right...

But she gets jealous when I tell her friends of mine,which are girl come see me

And just ask me questions,ask me if we did anything

Next relationship I am in,I will be prepared,and no the do's and don'ts

Learn a lesson and move on. Always try to take something positive from your experiences.

That's all it is,is a lesson learn

Something that will build me up on the next relationship

Here is a cool little trick I learned from a previous ex that kept playing mind games VERY similar to yours.

You don't have to delete her from your cell phone (since NOBODY really uses a home line anymore... lol) but change her name to something like "IGNORE THIS EX" or write "DON'T PICK UP" or something as her name.

You'll see it, remember why you're not talking to her and get a bit of a laugh when you check your call log and see 17 missed calls from "Don't pick up" lol

My now ex girlfriend of about 3 weeks broke up with me EXACTLY 1 week after our 2.5 year anniversary, she said that she loved me with all her heart each day and even said it the day she broke up with me. I've tried being cordial with her, since I am like family to her actual family and I'm very good friends with her younger sister (she's like my little sister) but guess what, the ex just ignores me. I've only said maybe 2 short things in the past 3 weeks, but it doesn't matter.

This girl wants space, give her it. She'll come crawling back and you'll be with some little cutie anyway. I've noticed (in my own personal experience.) that no matter what nasty things an ex girlfriend will say or do to you during a break up, if you hold your own, they come crawling back eventually (can be a day... could be a year, sometimes on rare occasions it may not be that they come back.)

Whatever you do bro, don't make the mistake I did and tried talking to her, I've been hating myself and getting angry about it.

I also suggest you delete anything that will make you think of her, don't be a myspace stalker, don't ask her friends or family about her, don't stare at pictures of her. Is she HONESTLY, worth you feeling like a doormat?

Nice post Kevin...

I have to agree with removing things that remind you of her... I've still got that box in the back of my closet from the beginning of the summer. No reason to drag that out anytime soon :)

Kevin that was a pretty clever ideal bro

Lmao,if/when she starts calling me,I'm going to put that as her name "ignore ex"

I agree with you guys

It has to be out of sight out of mind

I was on myspace,and I wanted to see if she deleted me,but she didn't cause she was still on my profile

And I notice her friend left her a comment that said

"boys will come and go....don't worry about it,only time will tell"

That comment let me know,she is "worried" about it and have been talking about it to her friends

But I'm not going to even go back on myspace anymore,because its not good for me

I am on day 3,and everything is going good

Seems like this week have been moving fast

Stay strong! :)

To be perfectly honest, you can't really assume that what the friend said is what you make of it. It could always mean something completely different. I would suggest that you don't delete the girl from myspace, but you can block her account for what you don't want. (You can block messages, viewing pictures, etc.)

I've been having a hard time trying not to talk to my now ex after 2.5 years, I just don't think she cares anymore so you just have to keep on moving forward.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay_Bird

kevin that was a pretty clever ideal bro

lmao,if/when she starts calling me,I'm going to put that as her name "ignore ex"

I agree with you guys

it has to be out of sight out of mind

I was on myspace,and I wanted to see if she deleted me,but she didn't cause she was still on my profile

and I notice her friend left her a comment that said

"boys will come and go....don't worry about it,only time will tell"

that comment let me know,she is "worried" about it and have been talking about it to her friends

but I'm not going to even go back on myspace anymore,because its not good for me

I am on day 3,and everything is going good

seems like this week have been moving fast

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin_s

To be perfectly honest, you can't really assume that what the friend said is what you make of it. It could always mean something completely different. I would suggest that you don't delete the girl from myspace, but you can block her account for what you don't want. (You can block messages, viewing pictures, etc.)

I've been having a hard time trying not to talk to my now ex after 2.5 years, I just don't think she cares anymore so you just have to keep on moving forward.

Geez 2 and a half years

She never tried to contact you again... and how long did it finally take you to move on?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay_Bird

geez 2 and a half years

she never tried to contact you again........and how long did it finally take you to move on?

Well this only happened almost 3 weeks ago that she dumped me. Our 2.5 year anniversary was August 16th. August 23rd she dumps me.

I still haven't really moved on. I miss her terribly, but most of all I just wish I could have some answers from her.

I just have to focus on makin' that money instead. If she comes back she comes back, if she doesn't whatever. Either way I don't think I'll be taking her back. She cares more about partying than someone who took her out of a bad situation, and gave her a new life anyway.

With all due respect to all 3 pages posts here, I do not believe she doesnt love you anymore. She still cares for you or else she will not be jealous and will never bother you anymore.

You know what I think the problem is? You don't know her well. I understand you are confused because you don't when she mean things or not. Ask long time partners.

If you are tired trying to understand her, then go NC.

Best of luck to you, buddy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ylaira

With all due respect to all 3 pages posts here, I do not believe she doesnt love you anymore. She still cares for you or else she will not be jealous and will never bother you anymore.

You know what I think the problem is? You don't know her well. I understand you are confused because you don't when she mean things or not. Ask long time partners.

If you are tired trying to understand her, then go NC.

Best of luck to you, buddy.

You are right though

We don't know each other that well,we hooked up so fast,and I started staying at her apt

But I truly did not know who she was...

But I am tired of understanding her,I really am

I just need time to clear my head,and get myself back on track

Because I have never acted desperate like this before in my life,not in past relationships or anything

Once I get myself back on track,I know everything will be good

OK she was not in love... she was horny an she probobly couldn't get a date.
She's using you until someone else comes along. Your her back up . Be strong an leave it alone. If she calls ingnore her, don't give in. the more you do the worse its going to get .

Here you go Jay_Bird.

Just in case, here is an old thread that I started a little bit ago. Let's get it stickied!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...up-253047.html

Thanks

I would never expect Talaniman to say something like what you have in your quote bro! HAHAHAH

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin_s

I would never expect Talaniman to say something like what you have in your quote bro! HAHAHAH

Lol,its true though

This ing sucks you

I haven't talked to her in 7 days

I happen to look on her myspace

And it says that she is in a relationship

And on her comments,two of friends is saying she is months def not single anymore

This sucks,I'm not going to contact her

But can you guys help me out

Yea, stay away from her myspace. Simply delete her off your friends list, make a list of crap she did that made you angry and every time you think about going back or calling her, read that list. You are better than someone who jumps into a relationship that quickly

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Yea, stay away from her myspace. Simply delete her off your friends list, make a list of crap she did that made you angry and every time you think about going back or calling her, read that list. You are better than someone who jumps into a relationship that quickly

I agree

Something really is wrong with that chick,she was just kissing on me last week

Yep, a quote from the movie "In Hell" that I used to help me get over my ex.

"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change."

Stay away from her myspace, don't go to places you went to with her, don't do things that remind you of her. Keep up the NC. Every day will get a little bit easier.

Don't torture yourself by seeing what she is up to. If you were doing your own thing, when would you have time to worry about her life?? Get up, and get busy!

I agree with the above...

Get rid of her myspace. Try to find what motivates you to change, when you find it... hold onto it..

Also, remember how you feel now next time your tempted to snoop...

But by deleting her myspace

Won't that show that she got to me??

I don't want her to know that she got to me

What you guys think?