My exboyfriend and I broke up 6 months ago. We work together, he's 33 and I'm 29. He broked up with me, he said he lost feeling because we worked together at first it was really awkward. We didn't talked to each other, we just ignored one another. He wouldn't answered my calls or talked to him if he did it would be really short.

Then a few months ago (June), he started to engaged in conversation with me. I wasn't even talking to him, I'll be talking to a co-worker of ours and he would jump in the conversation. It was weird at first because he went from one extreme to another. I think he realized that I was weird out by his suddent change so he step back a bite. But he still makes every effort to say 'hello' every time we ran into each other at work. Now if I asked him a questions whether its through email or texts he'll respond as suppose to before where he just ignores me. Just the other day he came by my cube to drop off 2 glue sticks because I kept borrowing his.

What I'm trying to get at is does he still likes me or is he playing games with my mind? I still like him but because he broke up with me I refuse to ask him. I invited him to do something afterwork a week ago but he said he have to study for a CPR exam the next day or something like that. He had an excuse this time before he would just say he already have plans and leave it as that. Anyway, I can't read him, sometimes out of the blue he'll send me email to see how I'm doing but when I respond or go talked to him, I get a different respond as if he doesn't care and he's busy what do I want kind of thing.

I'm confuse any advice would help.

Does he still like you? Maybe. Is he playing games with you? Probably.

He broke up with you because "he felt awkward"... which, to me, translates to... "I'm just not that into you..." or maybe, "I found someone else"

Maybe he's "into you" again, or maybe that new person didn't work out. Regardless of the issue, you have to ask yourself whether you want to go through that again. Was your relationship good otherwise? Are you willing to jump into it again with the possibility that he could leave you again with the "I feel awkward" excuse?

Do you love him

I do but I been hurt before by this person so I don't want to do anything that will get me hurt again. The worst thing that can happen is if I ask him out only to have him reject me again. That is why I asked the question on this website if he still likes me or is he just playing games with my head.

From my experience usually exs don't come around unless they want to start something new. However like I said I can't read this guy so I'm not sure of his intention. That's why I post a question online to get some advise.

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Originally Posted by confuse

From my experience usually exs don't come around unless they want to start something new.

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I agree... but what is that something new? Many times, it's not a relationship, but sex... or because they're lonely.. or because they miss your company.

For sure it's not sex because when we were together we both said we want to save it till we're marry. Though I'm not sure about the lonely part. However what's confusing is that when I invited him to do something the other day he said he had to study for his CPR exam. He could have repropose for another day but he didn't. He's giving me mix signal.

Mine you that I was his first real girlfriend. Hard to believe huh a guy 33 years of age never had a girlfriend before until I come around and what do you know he dump me. Haha!

ISneezeFunny you sound wise. What is you take on my situation based on what I posted so far?

Haha, not wise in any sense... maybe drunk, but not wise ;)

In my honest opinion, I don't know the either of you. I don't know the dynamic you two have had, nor do I know how the relationship went, or how it ended. I don't even know how long it lasted, and whether it went well.

What I do know is that relationships end for a reason... and the reason that your ex gave you stinks. "Working together is awkward"... is NOT a reason for a breakup.. . I think he KNEW you two were working together BEFORE you two got together, no?

I also don't think that exes come back strictly because they changed their minds about you... of course, it happens, I'm not discounting that at all.

My suggestion to you is that since he's sending you mixed signals, don't worry about it... as you'll drive yourself insane just thinking about it. Go about your life as you did in the past... and if he wants to get something across to you, then let him do it. Right now, I think he's baiting you and trying to get a feel for how you feel about him. If he wants to talk to you, let him come talk to you... if he wants to see you, let him make the plans.

Sooner or later, he'll reveal what his motives are. Right now, I'm not so sure he's really ready to do that, as seen by his "CPR exam" excuse. (who knows, maybe he really did need to study... regardless).

Take it easy, take it slow... being his friend isn't a "bad" idea, but don't get in too deep and don't set yourself up for hurt again.

ISneezeFunny, Thank you I will take your advice. You are correct I will only drive myself insance if I keep thinking about his motive. I pretty much did what I can do, I mean I went as far as inviting him to do something after work but he came back with an excuse saying he has to study for his CPR exam. In away that is a kind of a sign that he might not be interested because if they're interested they would make the effort, right?

Anyway, the reasoned why he broke up with me was not because we worked together but because he said he lost feeling toward me, he doesn't know when he lost that feeling, another of his lame excuse. We were together for a year.

Again thanks for your advice I will take it easy and should he wishes to talk to me then let it be if not then let it go. I will not try to go out of my way to contact him.

ISneezeFunny another question for you. Last week I sent him a lunch invite through our calender system at work. As of today he has accept it or decline it, should I just cancelled it or should I continue to wait for his respond? The lunch was suppose to be for this Friday 8/8.

I'm tempted to just cancelled it because by now he either know what can or can't do lunch or he plainly forgot about it. What do you think cancelled or wait?

It's up to you. Is it lunch just between you and him?

I say, make plans accordingly... based on what you want. You making plans with him may make him back up just a bit. It's now Tuesday, so if by tomorrow, he hasn't responded, then make your own plans. Don't live your life according to him, live it according to what you want to do.

Yes lunch is just between me and him. No location anywhere there's food. It's odd why he hasn't respond "yea" or "nay." I sent out the inventation this time last week.

After talking to you I'm tempted to cancelled it. I don't want to come across as being to accomandating after all I did send out the invite since last week by now he should know whether he wants to do lunch this Friday. But for him to keep me hanging is kind of upsetting. I don't want to appears as if I'm just waiting for him to respond neither. What do you think?

I think he wants to be friends, and nothing more, so stop inviting him to stuff, and just be friendly.

You're the one who appears to be chasing him.

Ouch! I should just cancelled lunch with him then. He hasn't respond anyway.

talaniman, just curious what makes you conclude that he just wants to be friend and nothing more?

It's a loud and clear case, he think after 6 months, its long enough for you to get over him, and its time to be FRIENDS again, so, he can talk to you like friends, he don't intent to go back to your old romance, its history, so, don't think too much, you can be friend to him also,and you will meet new guy who is more suit u.

Then why do I still catch him checking me out from time to time? Now we all know being friends with an ex is almost impossible not to say it can't happen but it takes more then 6 months. Don't you think?

I've never been able to stay friends with any of my exs. If we start talking again usually it tend to lead to something more in the long run. Maybe its just me.

Its not impossible to be friends with exs, I talk with exs, about life work etc, its over, so, I don't feel pain talking to them, I moved on, found new, its life. With time, I survive.

Some people remain friends with exes... some don't... it's a personal thing. Also, the time it takes to be friends... depends on the people involved, the relationship they had, and the way that the breakup occurred. Some exes, I haven't spoken to after the breakup... others, I've remained friends after 2 - 3 months, and with no confusion.

You may catch him checking you out... but all guys do. It's genetic. In his perspective, perhaps you're checking him out.

Haha! I find myself checking him out because I like still like him. I guess when I find him checking me out I thought he's still interested in me as well. But you guys have a point, if he were to be interested he would have agreed to do lunch with me rather then do a no respond. Because he's talking to me again did gave me false hope. The last thing I want is to appears as if I'm chasing him that will only boost up his ego.

As selfish this sound but if he's only interested in being my friends then I rather that he ignored me like before. At least at way I don't hold on to false hope. Its funny how when we first broke up he made it clear that we shouldn't be friends at least not for awhile because he doesn't want me to have false hope and yet he came around after 5 months wanting to be my friend. Guess that sort of gave me false hope. Sometimes I felt that he might want more then plain friendship other times it felt like he just wanted to be friend. His action is not matching up maybe because I'm looking for more.

If he just wants be to be friend then call me selfish but I can't be his friends because I still like him more then a simple friend. I must have come across as being so easy and accomendating to him since I kept inviting him to do stuff. No wonder he doesn't even care enough to respond to my invitation. Am I asking too much?

Things changed, at times, after 6 months, he think he got over the whole thing,and is ready to be friends.

I think the reasoned why I'm still hoping to get back together with him or even posting on this site asking "if my ex boyfriend still like me," is because deep down inside I hoping that he does. At one point when he was ignoring me I said to myself that I'm DONE and I'm going to move on but the moment I said that as if he could read my mind, he start tallking to me and that's where the confusion start.

Ok I just cancelled lunch with him for this Friday. After the response that I got from this site, made me realized that he's probably is only wanting to be friends and I'm only setting myself up for more hurt if I continue to take it the wrong way. It's obvious that I only see what I want to see if he had want anything more then simple friendship he would have made the effort to want to do things other then chat in the hall way. I have to say it was awkward before when we weren't talking especially when we work together. I guess maybe that's why he started to be friendly with me and I guess its my fault for taking that the wrong way.

I guess I'm only have to stay away from him because it hurt to know that the only you have feeling for don't have the same feelings for you. Worst yet knowing that one day that person will be with someone else.

You clearly aren't ready to be friends with him because you still want to get back with him.

If it bothers you that he is communicating with you just let him know that you are not ready to be friends yet. If he is trying to be more he may then just let you know that.

If he doesn't at least you know where you stand and you can get on with your healing instead of being stuck not knowing where you stand.

That's embarrassing, telling him that I still like him and wants to get back with him? Of course we all know that's how I feel but for me to tell him that? I can see the reaction on his face like "really but its been over 6 months and you're not over me yet?" I don't think I can get myself to come out and tell him I'm not ready to be his friend because I still like him.

As childish as this sound,its probably easier for me to avoid him. Don't look at him, don't talk to him don't cross his path even though we work together. I mean by all means if he talks to me first then let it be but I shouldn't go out of my way just to be visible to him.

Hey guys! Just want to say "thank you" for your advice. I took you're advice cancelled lunch with my ex. Glad I did because after I cancelled it, he send me an emailed saying he wouldn't be able to do lunch because guess what he said? He said he have to take a lifeguard recertification test this Friday. No comment on my end.

Anyway, I feel much better after I cancelled. I'm not really to be friend with him and no sure if I want to be friend. For now better not to have any contact other then the facts that we work in the same building. I went as far as deleting his # from my phone. Cruel yes, but I have to do what ever that is best for me at this point.

Glad to hear your feeling better about it. So now start your NC again and remember it's all about Number 1 , and that's YOU!!

You aren't ready for a friendship with him as your feelings are still in total control. Stick to no contact with him and if need be, explain to him why and then cut off contact

Here's a question. When will I know that I've moved on? In the passed I'm never friends with any of my exs. If I break up with them usually they are so hurt that they don't want to be my friend and we just lose touch and never cross path. This is the first time anyone ever broken up with me. Guess that's why I'm so broken.

I can't say how you personally will know... But I knew when I saw her one time with her new boyfriend and it didn't bother me. You will eventually realize you have bigger problems to worry about.

I saw an away message of my exes friend that said "(exes name) is getting laid tonight! YAY finally!)... and it didn't even bother me at all... In time you just wake up one day and the pain is gone

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Originally Posted by confuse

My exboyfriend and I broke up 6 months ago. We work together, he's 33 and I'm 29. He broked up with me, he said he lost feeling because we worked together at first it was really awkward. We didn't talked to each other, we just ignored one another. He wouldn't answered my calls or talked to him if he did it would be really short.

Then a few months ago (June), he started to engaged in conversation with me. I wasn't even talking to him, I'll be talking to a co-worker of ours and he would jump in the conversation. It was weird at first because he went from one extreme to another. I think he realized that I was weird out by his suddent change so he step back a bite. But he still makes every effort to say 'hello' everytime we ran into each other at work. Now if I asked him a questions whether its through email or texts he'll respond as suppose to before where he just ignores me. Just the other day he came by my cube to drop off 2 glue sticks because I kept borrowing his.

What I'm trying to get at is does he still likes me or is he playing games with my mind? I still like him but because he broke up with me I refuse to ask him. I invited him to do something afterwork a week ago but he said he have to study for a CPR exam the next day or something like that. He had an excuse this time before he would just say he already have plans and leave it as that. Anyway, I can't read him, sometimes out of the blue he'll send me email to see how I'm doing but when I respond or go talked to him, I get a different respond as if he doesn't care and he's busy what do I want kind of thing.

I'm confuse any advice would help.

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I think that he misses the attention. Hes fighting for your attention because he doesn't have it anymore. Some people love the idea of knowing that someone is interested in them and what's funny is that once they know that they have you they don't want you anymore. Its like a game to them. I say let him keep fighting because in reality its all a game to him. Even if he has good intentions he's seems like the type of man that can't handle the idea of a women being head over heals for him. I think that you shouldn't go out of your way for him at all, let him come to you.

It's amazing how we broke up for over 6-months now and I'm still trying to get over it. I think allot of it is my fault because for the first few months I was still holding on to hope thinking we can get back together then a few months ago, I said to myself I'm wasting my time and I'm going to let go. Then he start talking and being friendly with me that gave me a false hoping thinking that he miss me and probably wants to work things out. But it allot drove me nuts trying to figure out what he's up too. After I read some respond to my question on this site was an eye opening for me. So now I'm DONE back to stage 1 of trying to heal all over again. Not as hurt but more angry at myself for allowing someone to control my emotion to this level. If anyone can relate.

Its normal, you have feelings for him. I was like that with my husband and it took me forever to get over him. Its just that people know when they have someone who will always be in their corner. I don't want to sound harsh and please don't take it the wrong way but maybe he's just lonely. Ive had it happen to be plenty of times and it hurts. He knows what he is doing and you should just tell yourself that it is all a game every time you start to get back drawn in. Maybe you should pull him aside and tell him how you feel. Show him that he can't make or break you and stop beating yourself up.

I thought only women play games in relationship. Didn't realized men can play games as well. Learned something new.

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Originally Posted by confuse

It's amazing how we broke up for over 6-months now and I'm still trying to get over it. I think allot of it is my fault because for the first few months I was still holding on to hope thinking we can get back together then a few months ago, I said to myself I'm wasting my time and I'm gonna let go. Then he start talking and being friendly with me that gave me a false hoping thinking that he miss me and probably wants to work things out. But it allot drove me nuts trying to figure out what he's up too. After I read some respond to my question on this site was an eye opening for me. So now I'm DONE back to stage 1 of trying to heal all over again. Not as hurt but more angry at myself for allowing someone to control my emotion to this level. If anyone can relate.

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That's exactly it!!

By not letting go you will always have that false hope and you don't start healing , 2 steps forward then 1 step back.

People tell me "out of sight out of mind." My ex and I work together, so I can't get him out of my sight. I'm trying to be professional when I see him at work but at the same time I have a broken heart that needs healing.

Ideally it would be best for me if I not to see him at all but this is not possible. And I'm such an expressive person that if I'm hurt it will show it on my face. If I don't like something it will show. And its hard to put on an OK face when I see him at work. I can't just start ignoring him especially after I been inviting him to lunch, etc. I don't want to be friendly either because I still like him so I'm sure it'll show and probably appears as being desperate. Any advice out there?

I'm sad... it hurts knowing the person you love and care for so much doesn't feel the same for you. I guess reality finally hits.

Once upon a time, I fell in love with a guy at work, when he didn't want me any more, and he was still there I could see every day, its miserable, I quit the job, so, "out of sight out of mind", its true, start a new job, new life, be busy, made me hv no time to think of him, and I developed another relationship again, its such a circle.

His being around may make it harder, and take longer, to get over him, and cope with your feelings, but can work over time. I never suggest quiting as that's something you would know better than me, but you can avoid him, and just do your job! I know it will hurt, as I've seen these workplace relationships nearly destroy people, but it can be coped with, as just because its hard doesn't mean its not doable.
Good Luck.

What would make me feel better if I see him suffer! But its not right to wish bad things on others.

I think that you should get out and meet some new friends. Your probably not going to quit your job that's a really big step. Its something about meeting a new guy that just makes you float all day long. Im not saying go wild and crazy but just get out and mingle. Your going to find a man who will treat you so much better than he did, that's the beauty of karma. And when you find Mr. Drop Dead Sexy you will forget all about your ex, even if you guys work side by side. Your mind will be somewhere else and he is going to notice that. Or you can give him the cold shoulder. If he joins in on the conversation don't look directly at him, try to seem as happy as possible, send yourself roses... lol but just try not to give him too much of your emotions or your time.