I started talking to this guy who is very attractive, college educated, funny, et cetera. I was excited because I am happy to go back to a city where I left on a very bad note but still love.

Brief background on him just to I can paint a picture:
1. Former NFL player and played in the Arena league as well.
2. Currently working as a male model/aspiring actor ( yeah, I know)
3. Previously married, now divorced but remains amicable with his ex-wife (who lives in a different state and city) for the shake of the child.
4. Has a child but does not have a legal arrangement with ex wife over child.

When I first started talking to this guy he seemed eager to talk with me and text through out the day. I am currently in a different city and will return to the same city he is in late August. He is aware of this. He told me he was not looking for a relationship and he is playing things by ear. Sexually, I feel as though we are compatible but that doesn't mean I should feel like I have been put off.

After we started talking for a few days I sent him some pictures ( think FHM/MAXIUM/Smooth Girl)... so nothing porn. We were on the phone when he saw them and the tone in his voice would indicate to me that he liked them VERY much.

The next day (friday) he went to an event and he said he was going to hit me up later... He never said. Saturday early evening I sent him a text asking how his event was and he gave brief answers ( I hate that). I am beginning to feel as though he has lost interest or something. This weekend he did have his child but that wouldn't prevent someone from being able to text especially when the child is asleep. Right?

I just feel a little cheap. Maybe sending those pictures was not a wise move. The texts have stop coming as often and the answers just seem more and more brief. We have not spoke on the phone since Thur night. Maybe he is busy or what?

What's really going on?

Hey amexp... welcome back.

mm... this happens often in a relationship that's relatively based on texts/calls and not one based on seeing one another. When a couple starts seeing one another in person, at first, you see each other once every few days... then it slowly dies down, obviously. However, when texting/calling, it dies down even faster. Why? Perhaps he's busy with doing something... perhaps he ran out of texts (it happens)... perhaps his finger's broken, etc. etc. etc.

All jokes aside, a million and one things could have happened. Especially since he was with his son, I'm sure that time he had with him was sacred and he probably wanted to focus all his attention to his son. Perhaps he was with his ex-wife with the son, and didn't want to start texting.

Right now, constantly calling/texting will only aggravate the situation more, so I suggest you just play it safe... move on with your life (don't give up on this kid yet... but just keep busy), and see what happens. If he realizes you've stopped texting/calling (he will), then he'll make the next move.

Best.

Yeah, let me make it clear I am not a bug-a-boo. I will go HOURS (6-10 ) without texting him after the first text, honestly! Because I understand that constant texting that is annoying for sure!

Thanks for the insight Sneezy

This does not sound like a relationship but more like two people being friends and seeing what it could lead to. Therefore, you might not have been the only person he was talking to or he might really be busy. You be surprise how quick a child can tired you out. Don' text him anymore, let him do it and if you decide to reach out to him give him a call. This way you can get a better feel. In the meantime don't lay your eggs in one basket because he already warn you what he's not looking for and if you want something different then find someone who wants the same as you.

Just because he is interested, doesn't mean he isn't busy especially with a son. Your way to impatient, and have some high expectations, for some one you just met. I will be nice, and just say there is no reason to stop, and wait, for someone who has came out from the get go, and told you, he isn't interested in a relationship. What does that leave?? Friends with benefits maybe?? Don't get stuck on him, keep it moving.

You are jumping to conclusions... I never said he has a son... Secondly, I am not stuck on him.

Damn.. . that's a straight diss. Who replaced you?

Oh, I'm sorry. I assumed "son" but it just says "child".

Some random magazine/ video vixen chick who he may or may not know, my guess is not. I am still in the top 20 just not where I was. :(

Thanks Liz... I am going to pull back tonight for sure.

Haha, so terribly sorry. Yeah, I'm not so sure that he's into you as much as you are into him... most likely, he's just playing the field to see what's available (those aspiring actor/models)

LMAO> exactly. The funny thing is he was the one that was like I cannot wait till you get back! Why are you going to be away for so long? And other comments... These statements could have just been words to get me going but still... he said them, not me.

Why do you feel your being used?

I feel like I was being used because I sent him those pictures and it could have been just to satisfy his little sexual appetite and now that he got what he needed he has just moved on... ya dig?

... he IS an aspiring actor, no?

Sorry that this is happening... but the other posters are right, I think you went too deep into this without there being anything solid. Ah, you'll be fine... plenty of guys chasing after you anyway ;)

Yes, that aspiring actor/model thing is a womp womp. Ugh. That just turns me off. I like the title retired NFL player better... but I mentioned that because I am wondering if he has a big head.

Aww thanks Sneezy, I wish I had guys chasing after me. If I do, it is usually the wrong type. I also do not typically date guys with children ( NO THANKS), but this guy is just too fine to pass by.

... retired football player... model... aspiring actor... has a kid but doesn't have arrangements to see the kid.

... screams... player?

YESSSSS... YESSSSS... it does. He claims that he is "so cool with is ex that he doesn't nees a court arranged document"...

He may be fine but his staus most likely get him a lot of women.

Yes Liz, but what are you trying to say?

He's fine, ex football player, model/actor, of course he is keeping his options open. Many women I bet is trying to get at them and therefore will deal with him and his behavior in hopes of a chance with him.

Gotcha... why can't certain men be happy when a woman comes along who is college educated ( in pursuit of her professional degree) that is attractive, smart, and doesn't need their money?

... because... they're... stupid?

I'm actually... ok... with that.

LOL! That is very refreshing to hear.

I've been having quite the opposite problem, actually.

I dated this one girl for about... 2 months. She was absolutely beautiful, independent, career-driven, and RICH!

... then she had to move due to work, and I stayed back... due to work.. . sad.

Now I'm just attracting... relatively weirdos.. . really... really... weird people.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AmExp

Gotcha...why can't certain men be happy when a woman comes along who is college educated ( in pursuit of her professional degree) that is attractive, smart, and doesn't need their money?

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Never said that, it depends on what that man want. It oblivious that is not what he is looking for nor going after. I graduated from high school at 15 and graduate from college at 19 for nursing. I worked as a nurse in prison until I get fed up and get a job in a hospital and now attending to become a doctor. My boyfriend does not care about my level of education but me and him want the same thing.

This guy does not want what you want and it is best to find someone that's wants the same as you and when you do if they can't handle you then again move on. My statement just was saying I bet he have many of women chasing him and for him he likes it. Now if you want to be one of those women, then be my guess. Otherwise, it's best to leave him alone. You can't change him and nobody could.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I've been having quite the opposite problem, actually.

I dated this one girl for about...2 months. she was absolutely beautiful, independent, career-driven, and RICH!

...then she had to move due to work, and I stayed back...due to work. ...sad.

now I'm just attracting...relatively weirdos. ...really...really...weird people.

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I was in that situation once. My ex was rich and had so many cars it was unbelievable. I never try to use him for money in any way but he was such a nice guy. Long story short he wanted to get marry, I didn't. Any one was piss at me when I turned him down. After him, I felt like I kept meeting weirdos until I met my current boyfriend that I would marry at the drop of a dime but we plan to wed by the end of this this year or beginning of next year. You be meeting these weirdos but your meet someone.

Yeah, well let me make it clear that the money for him isn't what it used to be... That's obvious by his current career aspirations. Anyway, I am just tyring to find a guy to have fun with for now. I want some attention from him but I do not need to be his g/f. Is that asking too much? Honestly!

It might be for him. I don't think it's too much to ask.

Since he ignores you, find a new guy.

Gosh, ignore? I wouldn't call it that...

Why do you care so much? You're not obligated to each other in the slightest. Don't over analyze his behavior and get on with things.

Oh and PragninOut, it is the fact that he was so interested in this photos I sent and praised me and then all of a sudden he just fell off... that is weird to me

He enjoyed the pictures you sent him and appreciated them but maybe your less of a challenge for him now? That doesn't sound so shocking to me.

How does that make me less of a challenge? He hasn't gotten what he really wants which is physical... nor will he be any time soon... where are you going with this sir?

Look this is just my own opinion. No one can give you the right answer apart from him. He said he wasn't looking for a relationship? Meaning he's pursuing you for sex right? Right OK so he's paid you a little attention now he has you where he wants you. Your questioning his actions. Your wanting more of him etc

Chasing women for sex requires little effort, which is precisely what he's giving you.

I am not chasing him for sex. Thank you for your comments but they are not appropriate for this topic.

I wasn't suggesting that you were. Good luck anyway, I hope your situation improves.

So is the general consensus that I should just move on and not focus on him? If he comes around then see where it goes but in the mean time just keep my options open?