A lot of these topics here.
I've been with my girlfriend for almost 10 years. We had taken space apart a couple of years into our relationship and didn't end up speaking for over a year. In that time we both dated other people and did not speak a single word to one another (she said she wanted space) until one day she sent me a message. We quickly met up- and got back together almost instantly after both of us realized that taking that break was a mistake and that we do want to be together.
Fast forward to now. A house,a successful business and office together, dogs and cats and a thousand more memories and we're back here again. She wanting to take space.
She says I've been negative for the last year or so and is tired of us arguing and isn't sure that we should be together if we both make each other upset- so she wants to do some soul searching. To get herself back in check- to be able to be herself again. As some people experience when you get into a long term relationship you tend to change a bit. Become somewhat domesticated... lose contact with some friends and have different outlooks on life- as a couple and sometimes you feel crowded. It happens.. Ideally it only happens on a small scale but sometimes it happens on a much greater scale... like in her situation.
Her thinking I'm not very nice and negative is the worst thing out of all of this.. Having a business has really changed the way I am and my tolerances and my life drive. I'm not violent and I don't call her names but I am fairly negative as of late- so she has a perfectly valid point. It's damn tiring hearing your other-half being negative all the time.
This all started with a pretty big fight the other week. It got way out of control and I think it sent her over the edge. So here I am. A sobbing little (I never sob) and a girlfriend whom I love more than anything not sure if she wants us to be together. Not because of not loving one another but because she doesn't want us to keep making each other unhappy (read:me making her unhappy with negativity). We're suppose to be a family and families shouldn't make each other feel bad.
I'm not sure what to do. I fully encourage her to go out (but of course that makes it seem like I'm giving permission. Which is bad) and have fun with her friends and family. Go dancing.. dinner.. whatever she needs. Somewhere along the lines my negativity must have given the impression that it's not cool to go out without me. Of course I would never ever say such a thing.. or even think it.. but maybe my body language read something else.
I'm just worried that she will realize that perhaps she doesn't want me or that she doesn't love me or god know what other horrible conclusion. I'm realistic. I know what could happen. I've ended up talking with her about our state of affairs a few times (a day- bad, bad, bad) about how I can't stay here if we aren't together and she said she doesn't mind if I'm here and to stop being so pushy as this is part of the problem.. she feels crowded. And it's driving her crazy!
Things haven't been so well for her professionally and other stresses are building up too- I think I put her over the top.
So she's not ready for me right now. And doesn't know if she ever will be(I've heard this before in the heat of the moment). What do I do? I'm trying to really read between the lines here. To see if there's a chance.
Do I chill out and take it easy? Not be so stressed around her? Act like a friend, again? Even if I move out- we still share office space together that is dependent on me.
I really feel like I'm stuck in bad place.
