Found boyfriend's porn and cheated on him
My boyfriend told me early on in our relationship that he didn't look at porn and found it disrespectful to women (I never asked him if he did or not). He flat out lied to me more than once saying he doesn't look at it. Well I came across his hidden porn stash on his computer one day after we'd been dating for a year. He had downloaded hundreds of files (mainly of one girl, which hurts my feelings a lot more than if it had just been random porn)... and also had pictures of his ex (not naked, just pics of her face) in his porn stash also. I was soooo hurt by this, feeling like I'm not good enough for him, that I'm ugly. I got so depressed and thought there was something wrong with me and that he wasn't attracted to me, and I was so upset that he had pics of his ex in there. Well, I started cheating on him with my exboyfriend after I found all of this. I don't know why I did it at first. Partially for secret revenge, and partially because I wanted to feel attractive and thought it'd help. This has been going on now for three months, and I know I need to stop. I'm starting to feel really guilty. I know I did something way worse than what he ever did, but I still can't get over him lying to me, I feel betrayed and ugly and worthless to him. I don't know how to get over it? I want to stop cheating, and I want things with me and him to work out. But how do I forget about what he's done, and live with the guilt of what I've done?