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-   -   So what you think? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=24026)

  • Apr 4, 2006, 09:12 PM
    cess
    So what you think?
    Ok some of you know my past and present. But I dealt with the guy that kept calling from work . But I met I really nice guy at work . He is cute,nice,and interested in me. But I think its to early . But he makes me tingle just talking to him . I wasn`t expect something like this to happen .Should I go for it or let it pass me by any clues people?
  • Apr 5, 2006, 04:25 AM
    Krs
    I don't know anything about your past and present :)

    What is holding you back about this guy? Why is it too early?

    Do u like him?
  • Apr 5, 2006, 04:33 AM
    fredg
    Hi, Cess,
    Too early for what?
    Too early to have a new friend?
    It's never too early to have a friend, so go for it.
    Best of luck.
  • Apr 6, 2006, 08:51 PM
    cess
    Well I guess that was short lived crush lol. Well at least I got a kiss before he started avoiding me . I guess I am just a unlovable person . But that OK it was proubly to soon anyway . I really liked him though but o-well more fish in the see I guess. At least for a short time I felt good about myself . I was happy . But short lived as always cause when one thing goes wrong everything falls apart I should be use to it by now.
  • Apr 7, 2006, 04:04 PM
    s_cianci
    It sounds like you're attrtacted to this person. Get to know him but just take it slow and easy. Be friendly and sociable, just don't overdo it. You may eventually discover that the two of you have a lot in common and something may develop. Give it time, lots of time ; that's what it takes.
  • Apr 8, 2006, 04:13 AM
    Krs
    You don't need a man to make u feel good about yourself have more self confidence and stand up proud...
    Just be cool with him and don't come across as needy, as anyone would run a mile.
  • Apr 8, 2006, 11:02 AM
    Wildcat21
    Cess - wondering if you pushed him away? Maybe being a little too eager to make a relationship worK? I am just guessing here... did YOU try to rush into it. Maybe even bothering him too much at work?

    Try to figure out what pushed him away so quickly.

    Plus... YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS!! TO FIND THE REAL MR. RIGHT.
  • Apr 8, 2006, 04:57 PM
    cess
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wildcat21
    Cess - wondering if you pushed him away? Maybe being a little too eager to make a realtionship worK? I am just guessing here.....did YOU try to rush into it. Maybe even bothering him too much at work?

    Try to figure out what pushed him away so quickly.

    Plus.....................YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS!!!!! TO FIND THE REAL MR. RIGHT.


    I don`t know what I did to be honest . I didn`t go bugging him or anything just talked to him on break and he hung around and waited for me to get off work for 3 days and he took my home one day cause my car broke down . But that was the secound day. So I am not sure. What I did wronge. Its OK though .Only thing I can think of is that I wasn`t a good kisser cause After we kissed he seemed to avoid me . He could not be avoiding me just got busy I am not sure . But he was suppose to call me Friday and he didn`t. so I don`t know . I am just not going to worry about it . I am just going to go back to my goal and not worry about the man deal . Its for the best
  • Apr 10, 2006, 07:44 PM
    cess
    Ok yet another ?
    OK is it wronge for me to lead a bunch of guys on and letting them take me out but telling them I am not ready for a relationship right now . Yet they keep coming around calling . I am not interested in any of them so far to be honest. I don`t mind hanging out with them, just not into starting a relationship with any of them . I am I wroung for this . I have told them all the same things that I am not looking for a relationship. But they keep calling or stopping me .
  • Apr 11, 2006, 07:34 AM
    fredg
    Hi, Cess,
    First, what makes you think any boy that likes you, is ready for a relationship? Like wanting you for a girlfriend; you both not seeing anyone else?
    Have they told you this?
    No, it's not wrong to tell someone you are not ready to be their girlfriend, and you just want to be friends... it's called DATING.
    Some teens ( and I say teens because they are still learning about dating, going out, seeing others) feel they can't be "friends" with a boy unless they are his girlfriend.
    Dating means you go out with who you want to. It might be one boy this week, another boy next week, and so on and on.
    As long as you are honest with others, telling them exactly what you think, and be yourself, you are not doing anything wrong.
  • Apr 11, 2006, 07:41 AM
    Krs
    No there is nothing wrong with what you are doing at all.
    You're single you're free to do what ever you want to do and as FredG said its not like these guys said they are ready or want a relationship asap.

    Anyway I'm a firm believer that being friends for a while before the relationship evloves into something else is just great.
  • Apr 11, 2006, 12:06 PM
    talaniman
    I think your doing the absolute right thing by being honest and having fun with a lot of guys! That's what youth is for so don't feel bad just stay honest!:cool: :)
  • Apr 11, 2006, 02:19 PM
    Depressed in MO
    The only thing that would be wrong is if you were sleeping with all of them
  • Apr 11, 2006, 06:41 PM
    s_cianci
    If you've been honest and upfront with them then it's not wrong at all. Maybe they think you're playing "hard to get" and that you'll come around eventually. However that's their idea that they conjured up themselves, not something that you made them believe. You've done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel guilty about.
  • Apr 13, 2006, 02:04 PM
    cess
    I am glad to hear that . I am not use to dating . Considering I got married when I was 15. For thoughs who don`t know after my late husband past away I went to guy that I stayed with for 3 years and it ended badly. I just wanted to be sure that I wasn`t wrong for what I was doing. I am not sleeping with any of them . To be honest I am scared to sleep with guys for the fact I don`t want to catch anything.
  • Apr 13, 2006, 02:06 PM
    cess
    Well I must not have done anything wronge he is back around and I am not going to seem so eager . I am just going to sit back and see what happens
  • Apr 13, 2006, 03:17 PM
    Wildcat21
    Yes - take you're... maybe be busy once in a while. Make him chase you a little bit. I just hope he isn't a flake.

    Hopefully he still makes you feel tingly!!
  • Apr 13, 2006, 03:29 PM
    Wildcat21
    It fine to do that - like I say - kiss a lot of frogs!!

    Take your time with them - get to know them.
  • Apr 14, 2006, 03:20 AM
    milliec
    Hi Wildcat!
    I only meant it as a reputation short comment, but I got that "nasty" line telling me to spread reputation etc.
    SO: this is just to say I agree with you, and liked especially the frog line.
    Bye,
    Millie
    :) :) :)
  • Apr 14, 2006, 06:00 AM
    fredg
    Hi, Cess,
    Congratulations! Catching something is always possible; there is no 100% guarantee for any type of condems, etc; even stated by the manufacturers.
    I do wish you the best, and have fun getting to know some men by dating different ones.
  • Apr 14, 2006, 11:41 AM
    cess
    This comment was meant for a different post hehe
  • Apr 14, 2006, 11:42 AM
    cess
    He does he came over last night . I know what he wanted to do but I stopped it and told him lets take it slow so we will see if he calls or comes around again
  • Apr 14, 2006, 12:07 PM
    Depressed in MO
    What?? :confused:
  • Apr 14, 2006, 12:14 PM
    sweetface
    I am totally confused??
  • Apr 14, 2006, 12:52 PM
    sweetface
    Uhh!! Yeah!! That is real wrong!! You have to be up front with the person. You can't just lead a person to believe that a situation is one way, but in reality it is another. This will lead to heartbreak and pain for the other person, especially if they are really feeling you. Put the shoe on the other foot. What if it were you, and a guy that you really liked and enjoyed his company, and wanted to see again; he said all the right things, but once things start going real well, he tells you he does not want a relationship only to "hang out" or a "buddy"... You would be hurt. So remember. What goes around come around. It's called Karma
  • Apr 14, 2006, 01:29 PM
    Depressed in MO
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sweetface
    Uhh!!! Yeah!!! That is real wrong!!! You have to be up front with the person. You can't just lead a person to believe that a situation is one way, but in reality it is another. This will lead to heartbreak and pain for the other person, especially if they are really feeling you. Put the shoe on the other foot. What if it were you, and a guy that you really liked and enjoyed his company, and wanted to see again; he said all the right things, but once things start going real well, he tells you he does not want a relationship only to "hang out" or a "buddy".... You would be hurt. So remember. What goes around come around. It's called Karma

    Good answer, but I still don't understand her previous statement.
  • Apr 14, 2006, 01:56 PM
    cess
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sweetface
    Uhh!!! Yeah!!! That is real wrong!!! You have to be up front with the person. You can't just lead a person to believe that a situation is one way, but in reality it is another. This will lead to heartbreak and pain for the other person, especially if they are really feeling you. Put the shoe on the other foot. What if it were you, and a guy that you really liked and enjoyed his company, and wanted to see again; he said all the right things, but once things start going real well, he tells you he does not want a relationship only to "hang out" or a "buddy".... You would be hurt. So remember. What goes around come around. It's called Karma

    I was telling them the truth I am not looking for a relationship . There is only 1 of the guys I have not told this and I am more interested in him and a relationship could happen later on . I am not sure.
  • Apr 17, 2006, 02:50 PM
    Wildcat21
    Good call there. I don't think you're ready to rush into this - plus he WILL show his true colors.
  • Apr 17, 2006, 07:46 PM
    cess
    He is coming home with again tonight but I am afraid he is expecting stuff by the messages he is sending me . I am nervous about leaping if you know what I mean we have been talking for about 2 weeks now he has came over once we work in the same building I really like him
  • Apr 18, 2006, 11:16 AM
    Wildcat21
    Don't let him pressure you into anything you're not ready for. But, it sounds like you a kind of excited about him. Maybe learn more about him as well.
  • Apr 22, 2006, 05:07 PM
    cess
    Well I think I skrewed up with him . But maybe for the best . He was suppose to call on Friday and didn`t . I know that it makes me a little angry when someone says they are going to do something and don`t . So I think even if he does try to start things again I am not going to let it happen because if I was to start a relationship it would proubly turn out bad.

    On anouther note. I am scared I am going to end up in a whole I dug and I won`t be able to get out. I have been going out with a lot of different guys and a couple of them get mad when I tell them I have other plans . They all know I am not looking for a relationship right now. I just want to get to know them . Maybe later down the road dating one of them . But I don`t want to hurt any of them . I have no clue what to do !
  • May 8, 2006, 10:53 PM
    cess
    sorry comment if you like
    Ok I have narrowed down the guys to a total of 3 guys now. They have all rubbed me wronge . Like the one at work never calls when he says he will . The one outside work avoided me thinking I would be mad that he couldn`t pay me the 20 dollars I lent him . The guy at work is sweet . But strange and he interests me but we have nothing in common besides where we work . Now the guy outside work we like a lot of the same stuffs . Then there is anouther guy who has helped me out a lot . He is sweet we have some mutual interest. He was there when I needed help.

    Not to mention with all this going through my head my x had to call me and ask me for advise with his new girlfriend. I didn`t mind giving him advise but the conversation that came after the girlfriend talk . Was our past sex life . Witch I don`t want to remmber. I thought I was free and that the attachment I had with him was gone . But during that talk I felt my feeling coming back . I know I can`t go back . After that call I kind of pushed everyone away from me trying to pull myself back togeather . That was just a phone call . What if I meant him when I was out . What would happen . I don`t know . I don`t want to think about it .

    Lets go back to the 3 guys . I really like the one I lent money to . He is like me got knocked on his *** and is trying to get back on his feet. He seems interested. But I seem to get really nervous around him . I know I need to relax and be me.

    All I want is guy that likes me for me . I don`t want to have to depend on them nor do I want them to depend on me. Someone to hold me . Someone to hold. Someone that likes what I like. Someone to make me feel special. Is this too much to ask?

    well I don`t know must be a bad day for me . I seem to be rolling in my own self pitty . I will snap out of it by morning
  • May 9, 2006, 03:35 AM
    milliec
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by cess
    All i want is guy that likes me for me . I don`t want to have to depend on them nor do i want them to depend on me. Someone to hold me . someone to hold. someone that likes what i like. someone to make me feel special. Is this to much to ask?

    No, it's not much - it's just about what it's all about...
    But - keep looking, it's not SO easy to find this person, and CUT ALL the connection lines with your ex!
    Good lick,
    Millie
    :)
  • May 9, 2006, 05:21 AM
    fredg
    Hi, cess,
    Finding someone is sometimes difficult, and it all depends on how many guys you can meet. If you are limited to 3 or 4, then it's difficult.
    Do you go out much? You can meet guys at a Food Store, Drug Store, any type of public place.
    Smile, and it shows you like yourself; others will like you, too. Getting involved with someone at work can sometimes turn out very badly. If things go wrong, then there is always "gossip" about it, and some taking "sides".
    Eventually, you will find someone who is just right for you; but you have to keep looking. I do wish you the best, and good luck.
  • May 9, 2006, 07:05 AM
    valinors_sorrow
    You aren't asking too much but maybe the way you are going about it needs a little examination? Life ought not be a hunt for a partner when you are single, nor is it tons of work to keep it all going when you are partnered either. When I concentrated on being like the marines: "Be all that you you can be!", I found that I tend to attract what I wanted easily when I was single and I am now enjoying the fruits of a relationship that only takes some occasional work. The whole trick here is to be the best you possible, remain focused on that and offer support for others to be their best self too.
  • May 9, 2006, 11:24 AM
    talaniman
    I agree with VAL-focus on yourself and your well being and the things you like to do and when your ready you'll find some one. Choosing a guy from a group sounds like you want someone just to have someone.Be patient and have fun and just wait.:cool: :eek:
  • May 9, 2006, 01:20 PM
    CaptainForest
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by cess
    Ok I have narrowed down the guys to a total of 3 guys now. They have all rubbed me wronge .

    Then perhaps none of them are right for you. If they are all rubbing you the wrong way, perhaps you need to go find yourself a guy who doesn’t rub you the wrong way.

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