 |
My girlfriend and I of three yrs have recently broke up In the past Month. She left almost all her things with me when she moved out. Laptop,Ipod all her clothes... etc. Why does she not want It? She says she does but when she calls she talks about our relationship. I have asked her many times to come get It. And when she does she takes 2 things at a time. Keep In mind she Is the one that ended this relationship. Its like she keeps It here for a reason... maybe Its me?
Give her a month to get it, if she doesn't dispose of it.
Maybe she doesn't want to see you in person, which is totally understandable and expected. She might not want to relive the negativity that comes with breakups. If you don't want to throw away her things, you can always drop them off at her doorstep without having to encounter her. Or, if you're feeling especially generous, mail them to her.
She can always have a friend pick them up for her.
Put it in a storage under her name, call her tell her she has 30 days before they start charging her to take it out of storage
Ipod and laptop-hmmm.
Give her a call, tell her that you understand if she feels uncomfortable about you being there when she wants to come get her things and offer to drop them off at her current residence while she is away, or offer to leave it with a friend so that she doesn't have to continually take trips over there to get it.
I always feel that if a relationship is going to end in my life, I want to leave it being humble, and respectful. Even if you broke up on terrible terms (cheating, etc.) if you show that you are humble and supportive of the decision, things can go smoothly, and if you still want to be with her, at least she knows that at the end of the day, when she sh*t hits the fan, that she has nothing badly she can say about you or the way you have acted.
In re-cap, I say pack her things up securely in a good bag or something, offer to drop it off to her or at a friends (whichever is most convenient/comfortable for her.)
The girl is doing this to try to hold on to you because she don't want you out of her life. If she calls you and not talk about getting her stuff but wants to talk about your relationship, then that's extactly what it's. Getting one or two things at a time shows she is only trying to prolong it.
Send her a notorized letter, make a copy for yourself, and send it to where she live or send her an email and keep it, in case its needed, and give her a 30 days notice. This way you'll protect yourself in case she decides to call the cops or take you to court.
She doesn't want to move out.
I don't know how it works there, but here you have to show ID to get a storage unit, and you can't put it in other people's names.Quote:
Originally Posted by Romefalls19
Nah, around here it's done really easy. Because a lot of people are using the free month, take there stuff out then go back and just write a different name on the paper you fill out
For whatever reason she is stalling, and holding out hope, that things will change, and you'll take her back.
If you don't want that, then box up her stuff and drop it off, and no more conversations about a relationship. Make your feeling very plain and simple.
The reason is probably that she is using it as an excuse to keep talking to you. Maybe she feels that breaking up with you was a mistake and wants to have a valid reason for calling or coming by.Quote:
Originally Posted by cuzindave96
Same crap here...
My ex refuses to send my stuff back to me...
Yea she pretty much doesn't want to let you go.. I mean its obvious... she still wants to be with you. She probably just broke up with you to prove a point or something. Or maybe she was unhappy if you guys were having problems and wanted to show you hoping you would try to fix it. But now your just telling her to come get her things so obviously it didn't work lol. So now she's trying to drag this out so that she has time to try and get back with you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starz N h3artz
What about my relationship?
I was in a LDR for a year and four months... my girlfriend (now ex) said she'll send my stuff back but she won't mail it to me...
Damn it
If you want to ask a question of your own, you need to make a post of your own. Thread-jacking is rude. We would love to answer your question, just don't use someone else's thread to do it.
I'm not thread jacking.. I'm in the same boat as the OPQuote:
Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
Asking a question in someone's else's question is thread jacking. Post your own question. You are actually in the opposite boat. He wants his exes stuff out, you can't get your stuff from your ex...
I want my ex stuff out too...Quote:
Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
This was so obvious to me the minute I read it. She is only getting a "few" things at a time, because she wants to see what will happen. She isn't quite ready to let go of you yet, although she is the one that did the breaking up. She may feel like she made a mistake, and waiting for you to make the first move, which isn't fair. She could also, possibly, be keeping you on the back burner, in case something better doesn't come along shortly.Quote:
Originally Posted by cuzindave96
She only wants to talk to you about your relationship when she calls. You are obviously engaging her in that, and you are allowing her to take a couple things at a time. Both of you are hanging on, for one reason or another.
It's time to start communicating, and ask her what she really wants! If she can't make up her mind, tell her you will do it for her, and have all of her belongings packed and waiting for her to get within the next couple of days. Otherwise they will be on the outside of the house, and whatever isn't taken will be dealt with the way you see fit.
Tell her it's time to S**t or get off the pot, and you won't let her leave her stuff around as a reminder any longer.
I know this is not your thread dear, but have you thought of sending someone to go and get your stuff if you cannot go and get it yourself?Quote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
I'd make an itemized list of my things and 'officially' ask for them, even if I had to involve the authorities.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif
I know nobody in her state and my ex knows nobody in my stateQuote:
Originally Posted by Chery
I know you are still bitter about all this, but please.. use your own thread to vent next time dear. There is plenty of room on this forum for you too, so you don't need to piggy-back.Quote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
If she has your stuff, and you still have her stuff - make a trade or toss it.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif
Now, getting back to you dear..Quote:
Originally Posted by cuzindave96
Starbuck and the others are right.
If you don't want anything to do with her again (that's up to you, but don't drag it on if it bothers you), be clear on the phone or text and put a stop to it. Box up all her stuff and let her know when to come and get it or you'll give it to somebody else. After that time is up and she has not gotten it, give it to somebody else or just toss it!
Tell her it's time that she does what Starbuck so nicely said.. s**t or get off.
Good luck and keep us posted.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_13_8.gif
Thanks Chery
Do you have anything else to do besides answer questions wrong?Quote:
Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma
Hey hey now, that was not necessary! Just because you don't like the answers given, doesn't mean you can come and say how wrong they were in your opinion. CM is a respected member here, and she gave her opinion. You are always welcome to take it or leave it, but there is no need to be rude.Quote:
Originally Posted by cuzindave96
So, cuzindave.. after this distraction... Have you come up with a game-plan on how you are going to deal with your issue yet? Break-ups are never fun, and can take a while getting over anger during the healing process, but it's good to start planning on getting your life back in order.Quote:
Originally Posted by cuzindave96
Let us know what's up.
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif
One thing to think about.. And that's not to try and take your anger out on others - just my opinion.
There is no need to get rude with me, I was trying to get someone to post their own thread instead of using yours to get their own answers for their own question. And if you hadn't already noticed, I did give my input on your question. So please, next time, try being a little nicer. I know with only two posts you are new here, so I would suggest reading the rules. We respect one anothers opinions here.Quote:
Originally Posted by cuzindave96
She's using it as a reason to keep coming back. It makes sense. If you really don't want her to keep calling and talking about your relationship and if you really want her gone (you broke up for a reason, right?) Then you should pack up all of her things for her and tell her they'll be sitting at the door on a certain day at a certain time and if she doesn't come for it it's yours to do with as you please. Or start charging her storage fees... lol
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:11 AM. |