I met this girl at work about 9 months ago. She had just come from another relationship and we started going out the first day we worked together. She says she likes me and all that. We worked different shifts and had more than one job for some time such that we did not see each other often or go out like before. She says she likes me and I realize that any time I'm speaking to another girl, she gets really jealous and upset. I asked her just resently about us and she says "friends". I like this girl and can't get her out of my mind. Every time we see each other she gets really flirty. Is she just messing with me, did she use me just to forget her ex. What do I do because we work together and currently see each other quite often. How do I get her out of my mind.

To start with, workplace realationships are a BIG NO-NO! It hardly ever works out. It doesn't seem to me like you have a lot of communication really... even in the "friends" department. She might still be having hopes of getting back with her ex, but wants to keep you on the back burner, as a friend. Just be her friend, and let her know that although you're there for her, you are going to date other people. Then do just that! There is no sense in waiting for her to make up "your" mind!

Is this girl single? And if so why would you want her off you mind? If she's on your mind that often that mean she must be important to you, talk to her and tell her how you feel! If she is really jealous and upset that you talk to other females that that could be a sign she has feeling for you. Talk to her about how you feel!

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Originally Posted by ch00ch00

is this girl single?? and if so why would you want her off you mind?? if shes on your mind that often that mean she must be important to you, talk to her and tell her how you feel!! if she is realy jealous and upset that you talk to other females that that could be a sign she has feeling for you. talk to her about how you feel!

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Yes she is single and she knows how I feel about her.. She means a lot to me but if she is just messing with mymind then... I think she has feelings for me just by her reaction whenever I'm around her and half the people at work think she is my girlfriend because of such... thats why I don't understand this "friends" thing.

She could be messing with you, but it's a good possibility that maby she's not looking to be in A SERIOUS relationship right now! But you should find a time when you both are free and have a heart to heart coversation with her with her to find out where her feelings actually stand with you. If you don't feel comfortable talken to her yet about this then take some time and figure out how you want to approach her!!

You need to take a step back and rethink the situation. How long has she been single? How long was the relationship she was in? She could very much just like the company and companionship you are providing to her. Try to be less available, make her come to you. You already asked how she felt about you and she said "friends" so treat her as you would any other friend.

You're her friend, but she acts jealous, not good for a friendship don't you think? You may be a rebound to a possesive female. How far she goes with that is yet to be seen, but will come out, and that's something you will have to deal with at work, which may be great now, but blows up in your face when things go sour. Your already wondering, and well you should.

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Originally Posted by Shorn9

I met this girl at work about 9 months ago. She had just come from another relationship and we started going out the first day we worked together. She says she likes me and all that. We worked different shifts and had more than one job for some time such that we did not see each other often or go out like b4. She says she likes me and I realize that any time I'm speaking to another girl, she gets really jealous and upset. I asked her just resently about us and she says "friends". I like this girl and can't get her out of my mind. Every time we see each other she gets really flirty. Is she just messing with me, did she use me just to forget her ex. What do I do because we work together and currently see each other quite often. How do I get her out of my mind.?

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She's either playing games because she's too immature to be upfront with you about how she feels or she just wants to keep you within her grasp for whatever reason...
In either case she's sending you mixed signals (playing games) SO... Dont waist time pursuing her if she can't be clear about what she wants! If you must, Just be her friend.

You are totally the rebound guy, but she does have feeling for you. It probably started as just flirting, but during those 9 months she's started to like you. Take it easy and see where that goes... don't ever work on the same shift that will start a lot of confusion. She might start to mess with customers just to make you jealous.

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Originally Posted by Shorn9

I met this girl at work about 9 months ago. She had just come from another relationship and we started going out the first day we worked together. She says she likes me and all that. We worked different shifts and had more than one job for some time such that we did not see each other often or go out like b4. She says she likes me and I realize that any time I'm speaking to another girl, she gets really jealous and upset. I asked her just resently about us and she says "friends". I like this girl and can't get her out of my mind. Every time we see each other she gets really flirty. Is she just messing with me, did she use me just to forget her ex. What do I do because we work together and currently see each other quite often. How do I get her out of my mind.?

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Wo wo there is your problem right there you are thinking about her way too much and that is every ones first mistake. Take your mind off her and put it on to something else pick up a hobby or sports or something. Once a girl knows that she has you thinking about her and got you whipped your done for. Woman want what they can't have just like a kid with toys. When you were a kid with a toy you saw it on the shelf and wanted it so bad that's all you wanted then you finally got it loved it and had so much fun with it, later you get boared of it cause its old and its doing nothing new, same with females once they feel like they got you they are looking back on the shelf for something they don't have. That is how they work. You have to take the toy from the child and only let them play with it when they have been good so it will still interest them. In other words don't let the female feel like she has you or she will keep you there as just something she owns and go buy a new toy

In Other Words Make Yourself Less Available And Maybe Play Hard To Get Just Like She Is. Its All Games With Them Until They Mature All The Way, Keep Her Close But Don't Let Her Get Too Close

She is basically playing games and you are reading too much into it.
Next time she is jealous tell her what do you have to be jealous of? YOU said we were only friends.
If she can be this jealous at this stage it doesn't sound like you would have a healthy relationship with her anyway

First of all she either likes you and is scared 2 say or she probably thinks you guys are good friends so juct take it easy and try 2 get into a conversation with her then ask her if she still says no then your propably just friends its good 2 have friends you can still hang out and if you hang out a lot its OK 2 like sum1 so don't be scared just act like yourself around her

I work with this girl that I've gone out with several times. She knows I like her and I know she likes me... Unfortunately she thinks that I flirt with other girls at work which with all honesty is not intentional. I have tried to explain this but I don't think she believes me. I do not think of myself as a flirt at all. For the last week she has started flirting with my one of my friends which really sucks because it hurts bad. She is not ansering her phone either when I call. I love this girl very much.. what should I do? :(

... I'm not sure why you didn't listen to the answers to your first question here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...me-235024.html

Everyone is saying...

-She's messing with you

-workplace relationships... are a big nono

-you're the rebound guy

etc. etc. etc.

... why not just listen?

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

...I'm not sure why you didn't listen to the answers to your first question here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...me-235024.html

Everyone is saying...

-She's messing with you

-workplace relationships...are a big nono

-you're the rebound guy

etc. etc. etc.

...why not just listen?

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Tried. It's easier said than done... I just cannot get her out of my mind.

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Originally Posted by Shorn9

Don't settle for a relationship that won't let you be yourself

It is only when we no longer compulsively need someone that we can have a real relationship with them.”

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1. she accuses you of being flirty, while she's being flirty herself.

2. you can't get her out of your head.

... those two things deliberately go against your two mottos.

I understand that it's hard for us to get some girls out of our heads (I... am currently one of those guys... ) but we occasionally have to take a step back and take a look at what's going on. If we can't do that, then perhaps we can ask a friend (or ask an entire forum) to see what's going on... and we have to take that at face value.

This girl's obviously messing around with you. She may like you, I'm not doubting that, however, she seems a bit immature in the way she's dealing with things.

I suggest you move on and see what happens, perhaps she'll come around.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I understand that it's hard for us to get some girls out of our heads (I...am currently one of those guys...) but we occasionally have to take a step back and take a look at what's going on. If we can't do that, then perhaps we can ask a friend (or ask an entire forum) to see what's going on...and we have to take that at face value.

This girl's obviously messing around with you. She may like you, I'm not doubting that, however, she seems a bit immature in the way she's dealing with things.

I suggest you move on and see what happens, perhaps she'll come around.

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Thanks for the advice. Really appreciate the help.

YOu two are not even dating, and you're already defending yourself to her? What the heck?

Your feelings for her are fine, but they are not in your control. You REALLY need to be less dramatic about them since they do NOT have your well-being in service. Your feelings want what they want regardless of how dumb it is. You're supposed to be smart on top of all that.

But this girl already criticizes your natural friendliness to people. Why in the world would you defend that for even one second?

HER: "You're such a flirt and I don't like it."
YOU: "Yeah, well, I am a friendly guy. It works for me."
That's a WAY better answer than, "No I'm not" or "I don't mean anything by it."

Stop giving people you aren't even dating yet power over you like that. Own who you are and let them apologize for having an opinion about YOUR life.

She is in your head because you let her be, and to make it worse she questions you, and disses you (not returning calls), and is jealous after a few dates??

Dude leave her alone, as the job is not the place to be dealing with a jealous female, and if you think it's a problem now, wait until you make her mad, or she gets really jealous.

No way are you in love, and the lust will pass, and the attraction will wear off once you get over the lust, and see her for what she is.

I still have feelings for a girl that I was going out with. We never like ended the relationship but it kind of became more of a friends relationship after some time because we were both really busy with work. She currently has a boyfriend and it kills me to know that. I saw her today and it breaks my heart. It is complicated because weare of two dufferent races andher family has a problem with that. She kind of knows that I have feelings for her. I know in my heart that their was a very small chance of this working but I went for it and fell in love with her. She can tell that I'm sad and wants us to meet tomorrow so we can talk. Should I just tell her that I still have feelings for her?

You should not even meet with her. You need to put space between you, not express feelings for her.

Really think about what you want. There are millions of women out there who will love you... she is not the only one and there is no one right person for you... I would personally move on and meet some new people rather than dwelling on the situation and bumming yourself out

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-235024-3.html

If this is the same female, and you haven't left her alone, then you need to.

Read the stickies in this forum, and be done with this and do the right thing for yourself.

Start with leaving her alone.

I truly think that saying, "There are a million fish in the sea," does not help your cause, so I will not repeat it. Erase her from your life. Go no contact and start the process of emotional detox. That is step 1. Step 2 is leaning on your friends, family, this website and any other crutch you may need for awhile to release your feelings (i.e. do not bottle them up). Step 3: Find a TON of stuff to do. Get another job, take a class, volunteer, work out, whatever it takes. Exhaust your mind so much that you do not have time to even think about her. Step 4: Enjoy being yourself and making yourself better. Once you start Step 3, you will still be thinking about her a bit. Once you start actually enjoying working on YOU is when you can really feel yourself moving on and enjoying life. Make it happen NOW. You NEVER need to call, see, email or try any other form of contact again. Harsh reality of life.