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After 2-3 bad experiences in relationships, I learnt when I FEEL something is going wrong, it is really going wrong! Every time I just ignored that at that time... they grew and grew and finally cause the rlationship to end!
If someone loves you, never make u sad, never make you trouble, never make you doubt on him... he will come and chase you... that's what I've learnt so far...
That jealousy and possessiveness are things that are going to kill a relationship. To try and control someone is wrong, immature and not going to do any good. If someone wants to cheat, they will. Plain and simple
Too much to fast, burn and crash!!
You can't freaking change ANYONE!! Don't go into a relationship thinking you can change the person.. it just plain doesn't work
Don't trust anybody, until you are sure... then give 100% of yourself...
I feel broken, Im still obsessed, I gave all and got nothing.. how stupid...
That your issues that you have on your own, be they insecurity, self esteem problems, or baggage from a past relationship are yours alone. It is not up to the new person in your life to fix them or magically make it all better for you.
Neediness or being clingy will kill it every time.
Over analyzing rarely helps you answer any questions, in fact it usually makes you feel worse and often leads to you having so many more questions you freak out even more.
Relax, take things slow, and enjoy getting to know each other.. like Tal said too much too fast is usually a recipe for disaster.
Emotions and feelings aren't everything. It doesn't matter how much you like/love one another sometimes. For whatever reason(s), sometimes relationships just don't work out. There is both a right and wrong course of action. And if two people care for and respect each other, they will do what is ultimately best for both partners, even if it hurts and is difficult.
Just Like Tal said... Too much too fast! Burn and crash!
Just happened to me two months ago. Don't let infatuation take over. Try to keep a straight sense of direction. It all sounds easy but it's not!
If a person does not love me for me then the hel with them. Each relationship has taught me something different and I'm glad most ended, maybe not at the time, but it helped me be and stay strong and not settle for any selfish reasons. Sometimes you have to go through the bad to get to that one and I'm glad I found it and we're having our 2nd child, we each already have one, due January 5,2009.
Also, I learned nothing is guarantee and it takes two to make it work, not one. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, your going have your up's and down's that will only make your stronger and trust and communication is the glue. Also, before you can love someone you must love yourself. These ar things I learned from my past relationship.
Also, go with someone on the same page as you. Stay away from deadbeats, they never change. If you see a guy is controlling then leave. Actions speak louder than words, so if the actions and words don't add up, leave asap. This will save a lot of heart ache. If a guy has too many kids with drama, leave it isn't worth it mentally. If he don't have a job and not looking for one, don't even think about getting involve.
That being too available lessens your value, excitement and fun. I was an abandoned and neglected child. So I thought the best way to show your love is being always around, but wrong.
I guess the main things I learned where jealousy gets you no where fast, I realise now that the past is the past and its only the present that matters.
I also realise how much I took my ex for granted, its only when you lose someone that you realise just how much they truly mean to you.
What I learned from my last relationship... hmm... words are just words, saying you love someone doesn't mean anything more than the air it takes to make the sound. Never sacrifice your life or your happiness for someone to "try" to make things work. Don't be available to your ex, you'll only get used and abused until they have moved on. Never, ever, be someone who let's your ex cheat on their current boyfriend with you, it makes you just as much of a cheater as your ex is. And finally, don't let things drag on, tell the person how you feel, tell them to make a choice, and then accept it and let it be done, either way. Maybe most of all, don't ever lose yourself respect, your confidence, or yourself worth.
I've learned that no matter how into someone you are always leave a little room for disappointment.
You should never give it all unless you are SURE, because sometimes there is nothing left but bitterness and regret
And it JUST... ISN'T... WORTH... IT.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitty1978
I agree with you. In the case of bad relationships, they truly make you stronger in ditecting the bs the next time around
If they give you excuse as to why they want out of it, and it doesn't make sense to you... no matter, let them go!
But why it happens? Ive never done that to anyone, so I don't know why... when there is no problem in the relationship and they do it to you, it becomes like a puzzle and you would think about it 24/7...Quote:
Originally Posted by mafiaangel180
People like that, were wearing a "mask" in the first place, with everything, perhapps even toward themselves
I think if some guys or girls feel that the relationship is getting serious and lots of love is coming from the other person, they get scared and walk away... but its always nice to love and be loved...Quote:
Originally Posted by Genuineforce
I agree with that also in some cases. I know that I have been that person who dished it out. I think its most likely with younger couplesQuote:
Originally Posted by Kitty1978
I thought of another one. I'm not sure if it's already been mentioned so apologies if it's already been mentioned.
Let go of the need to constantly be in control.
Well, my ex is 35... weird!Quote:
Originally Posted by Genuineforce
Dont compare ur lovestory in movies. Ur's is nothing special.
Manipulation.
Consumption of college work & life.
Inability to spend time with the partner.
My ex:
Insecure.
Changes her mind at the last minute.
Feels she is independent even though she's living UNDER HER PARENTS' ROOF.
Wants to party.
It's easy to be blinded by love. A good way to see the true nature of someone is to see how they act towards others, not only you. They might be the biggest sweetheart to you and you may not actually realize what type of human being they are until they break your heart and your feelings for them slowly fade away. You're not blinded anymore, it's like a veil has been lifted, and you see that it wasn't them just changing... they were always like that. You just never noticed it until now.
I learned a lot from my last relationship. Actually... I found out more about myself then anything else. I realized what it was I truly wanted out of life.
I learned that there is nothing more amazing or exhilarating than been touched by love... And that there is nothing more painful or saddening than being scorned by it...
"When u'r deep inside the woods, all u see are trees."- The sweet life's Kevin Uy
Watch for the red flags through their nice guy con artist style.
I learned that you cannot put 100 trust in people. Because when I becamoe so sure that nothing could go wrong, that when my relationship fell apart... don't put all your card on the table... and finally, like tal said...
I learned that lesson too.Quote:
Originally Posted by gg23
Isn't that true! I always held back for some reason, because I'm the one who always tell my friend don't ever let a girl know how much they mean to you! Then she slowly made her way in my heart and when I open my heart and welcomed her in, after almost two years because I thought she d earned my trust, and thinking that I know her that's when she starts acting funny and treating me as a joke... someone who could not go by without talking to me for two days!! boy did it hurt!! I felt so stupid... oh well live and learn right?. I think if I didn't get the lesson ingrained in my soul this time it will... hahah... live another day!! NC is working fine now... all of a sudden I was happy by by being!!
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