Hello I've been going out with my girlfriend for nearly 8 months now, a few weeks ago we started to argue and it began to drag on. Recently she told me she wants to take a break and I know this is the right choice but my birthday is a week away and I don't want to face the outcome of the break. I have got the feeling that she is going to end it, I don't want this to happen because I love her so much. I just don't want to face the truth.
Should I give her the space she wants or cut it short and end the pain of waiting?
Thanks for any replies.
Danny

Hi there.we all face this kinds of problems almost everyday.being a gal myself I can say two things
1.if either of the 2 are not ready to be in the relation ,it has to be ended somewhere.
2.if love is real your relationship will endure and she will come back to you.
Don't wait for her to come back but if love is there she will.life is all about how well you can handle your conflicts with breaking away.
Wish you a happy birthday and if she doesn't care for your birthday even she should not be a part of your life.isnt it.give her some space and then see the results.
Bbye.

You have little choice but to give her what she asked for, and use the time to regroup, heal, and rebuild.

What were you arguing about? How old are you both? How long had you been together? Did you live together? What stopped you from working through your issues??

If she wants a break give it to her! I will say this people don't realize what they have till its gone! Maybe that's the reality check she needs! If she doesn't realize it it wasn't meant to be! But if you feel it's the end then delaying the inevitable is pointless! Move on and just remember she doesn't deserve you! If your birthday comes and you didn't hear from her then you will know where she stands! Why would you want to be with someone like that? Just smile!:)

Most relationships end. That means this one was most likely always intended to end at some point. Most of them do. It's a numbers thing. And 8 months is a PERFECT time to be making this decision.

So, you need to learn some relaxation and coping skills regarding breakups. They are going to happen. Your ideas or hers, relationship will peak and then end. They don't have to be big drawn out nasty fights to end, they CAN end civilly and with no bloodshed.

Are you capable of that? You'll never know until you try. And you never learn to cope with breakup(s) without facing breakups. So it's time to face it.

You can also be good-natured about it, honest and humorous, not just needy and sad. You really can. It's just hard, it's not impossible.

"Sally, I think we both know this isn't working out. I believe we are getting ready for some sort of breakup. I would hope that all we've been through would let us face THAT too without having to get mad and angry at each other to admit. We are friends, too, right? So, if you're ready to end the dating stuff...well, I understand. I hate it, but I understand. Maybe we can keep our friendship after this, maybe not, but I'm definitely not going to be mean to you about it."

"Oh, and just because we breakup now, if that's what we decide, don't think that let's you off the hook for my birthday. I still get 4 presents, that's, like, a rule or something...I read it online I think. Hehe."
See, honest, mature, painful, but still a touch of humor.

Anyway, listen to her response, you may be reading the situation completely right and she takes you up on your offer. Isn't that actually a good thing?

But you may be reading it wrong and she convinces you otherwise. That should be good, too. And either way, you get your birthday present(s). Score!

You need to be honest and give her the break she wants before she does.
Waiting because of your birthday is no good reason for sticking it out.
My last boyfriend 'stuck around' for his birthday and I felt rather used that he could not be honest and make a clean break before hand.

Thank you all. And to answer the question I know this sounds stupid but she is 14 and I am 16. I know this sounds like we are both being imature but I am certain she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. And the argument was my fault basically, I am too protective and hate to hear about her and her friends.I know this is wrong because she needs her friends. I just don't want to lose her.

What were you arguing about? Can one argument cause a break up? I don't think so. There may have been more arguments in the past that escalated to this point. There is more to it than just one argument. You may have known months ago that your relationship was in trouble. This is what I suspect. So there is no use dragging it on if this is the case. If you really care about each other, you can try to save the relationship by having some kind of intervention or counseling. That is how people who have invested time in a relationship would do. Your birthday has nothing to do with this. Your lifetime is what is in question.

Thank you all again and I have come to a conclusion. Whatever the outcome I won't let it affect me, I'm starting college soon and it's not like I can't find somebody else. I just think it's too soon to end the strong relationship we had. Do you think I should go to her house on Tuesday (a week away) and talk or is that too soon, 11 days we would have not seen each other. I was thinking about taking flowers and chocolate but is that a turn off in this situation?
Happy for any replies, Danny

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Originally Posted by doots08

thank you all again and i have come to a conclusion. whatever the outcome i won't let it affect me, im starting college soon and it's not like i can't find somebody else. i just think it's too soon to end the strong relationship we had. do you think i should go to her house on tuesday (a week away) and talk or is that too soon, 11 days we would have not seen each other. i was thinking about taking flowers and chocolate but is that a turn off in this situation?
happy for any replies, Danny

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If you feel that way then go ahead,do what your heart says.but do it once do it twice,don't keep on doing.
Bbye.

Where do you live where you start college at 16??

Leave her alone. Sometimes its better letting things die quietly than pushing a lot of drama at them. Lets be honest, if the relationship was THAT strong you would still be together. If she felt as you do, you would still be together. You may feel strongly, she doesn't. So she wanted the break, let her have it and leave her alone and forget flowers, chocolate, or even a visit. She has asked for none of those things, what she wants is a break, and she will let you know when she has had enough of that.

Now save your dignity the humiliation of looking like a hardheaded, sick puppy, by giving her what she asked for, and moving to better things.

Thanks that's a big help

I said to her the other day, if we don't sort it by next week I am finishing it myself, I said I can't go through the wait without her. Is this a wise decision?

The wise decision is doing what's best for yourself, and letting her do the same. Her actions are clear what she wants. You're the one holding on to maybe's, and waiting on her. Stop waiting on her.

She has just said she thinks she is going to end it because she wants to be single. I know this sounds selfish but I love her so much and don't want this to happen please help

The only way to help yourself is to accept what she wants, heal, and move along. You have probably never dealt with situations like this so listen to the advice given.

Click on the links in my signature, and get some great suggestions and insights, about dealing with your feelings, and ways to handle yourself after a very emotional break up.

Thanks

Hi Doots,

I am sorry that she said this to you. I know it hurts like H&^%. I know you love her, but, unfortunately, you have to respect her decision. Again, I know this is not what you wanted to hear from her, but this is all you can do right now. Let her go, doots. Let her figure out what she wants, and I suggest that you try to really figure out what you want and need for yourself, and your life. I am so, so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. We all do. We are all here for you, and we will help you get through this.

Thanks a lot that really helps I tried by saying I can change for her I know this is wrong because I should be myself. I know myself I am the cause of arguments. I feel bad because the last time we saw each other we left on a bad note

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Originally Posted by doots08

thanks a lot that really helps i tried by sayin i can change for her i know this is wrong becasue i should be myself. i know myself i am the cause of arguments. i feel bad becasue the last time we saw each other we left on a bad note

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Hi Doots,

Actually, if you are going to change certain things, let it be for yourself. I know sometimes we say or act in ways that aren't best, towards our significant others, and we don't mean to at all. But if there are underlying issues within ourselves, that is something that we need to address for ourselves, first. And yes, you should always be yourself.

Thanks she has just gone off msn and I think that is the end. She didn't have the decency to tell me in person. The only thing I want now is to hold her in my arms and kiss her head like I used to. Its going to kill me

I know, sweetie. I am so sorry. But, you will make it through this. It really sucks I know, but you will get through this.

Thanks for all of your help I would like to stay in touch because you are a good set of people.

I'm just devastated because I have a lot of good memories I know I am not going to get with somebody else in the future. I'm sorry for asking so many questions because this is part of life and I should deal with it. But god it's hard

I know its hard at first but sweetheart it will get easier everyday! Just remember you are a good person and I hope the best for you! Your welcome!

Sorry to be a burden but I need to say this. The thing I am going to hate the most is seeing her happy with somebody else, she promised me she isn't looking for somebody else but I know it is going to come. I am now aware that I have problems with being too protective and jealous, this caused most of the arguments. I am going to change for myself now. It is going to hurt when another boy is in my place. I'm sorry but I need somebody to talk to. Thanks

Do any of you guys have msn messenger, it would be useful to talk

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Originally Posted by doots08

sorry to be a burden but i need to say this. the thing i am going to hate the most is seeing her happy with somebody else, she promised me she isn't looking for somebody else but i know it is going to come. i am now aware that i have problems with being too protective and jealous, this caused most of the arguments. i am going to change for myself now. it is going to hurt when another boy is in my place. im sorry but i need somebody to talk to. thanks

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You are not a burdon at all. I know that is a hard thing to handle, we all feel this way, but, you must try to not think about that, for your own good, and own happiness. It will serve you well.

I know you have memories of her that are hard to forget, but you know what? When you meet someone else, you will have brand new memories! And believe me you will meet someone new, but first, you need to really heal from this, and get yourself in a place mentally where you will be less jealous. Don't beat yourself up though sweetie. We all get jealous, the trick is to not let it run out of control, which I know you won't do, and if by any chance you really did in the past, you know not to for the future.

Thanks I'm trying but time seems to go slow lol

I've decided not to talk to her again to save the pain, she doesn't seem bothered which makes me think that she had this planned :(

Hey danny love. Its lucie x ino things are hard for you and our alys but you got to stay strong. The only person who is worth your tears is the one who won't make you cry. So give her some time and I'm sure she will come round.

I agree. Let your heart be your guide. However, be prepared for anything and don't get your expectations up too high.

It will be hard to see her with someone else but eventually you will know she is the one missing out on you! This is a good learning experience for you and you now the next girlfriend you have you won't do the same things that you did this time! It will make you a better person in the end sweeheart! Anytime you want to talk let me know!:)

Fanks but I just feel sick all of the time, I can't eat or sleep. I'm worried I might not get through.

This is a sudden shock for me that I didn't really expect, I just wish I had her back.

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Originally Posted by doots08

iv decided not to talk 2 her again to save the pain, she doesn't seem bothered which makes me think that she had this planned :(

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Your right as usually we are the last to know about a break up, and they have a head start on getting over this emotionally. Stay busy, and you'll feel better with time and actually move on. Click on the links in my signature for some great sites that will help you through this.