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-   -   Why do I want my girlfriend to cheat on me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=223595)

  • Jun 5, 2008, 02:35 PM
    muddyfarm
    Why do I want my girlfriend to cheat on me?
    I have been in a relationship with a girl for about two years. We have talked about marriage in the next few years and I am really pretty excited to get married. I own a business and work about 70 hours a week and am constantly stressed. I really love my girlfriend a lot and we have so much in common. She is absolutely crazy about me and would do about anything for me. She left to study abroad in Europe. She e-mails me about every day telling me about what is going on over there. For some wired reason I wish she would cheat on me while she is there in Europe. I don't know why, but for some reason I want her to. What is wrong with me?!
  • Jun 5, 2008, 02:39 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma
    Do you secretly want the relationship to be over, and are looking for a reason to break it off?
  • Jun 5, 2008, 02:48 PM
    muddyfarm
    No, That's what's so weird. I want to be with her and it would kill me if she left me. But for some reason I want to find out she cheated on me even though I know she never would.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 02:55 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma
    Is that perhaps something that excites you? Like maybe a threesome or a swinging?
  • Jun 5, 2008, 02:56 PM
    liz28
    Do you feel because your apart, you're a little upset that your not there for her sexually.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 02:58 PM
    liz28
    Have any of your girlfriends in the past cheated on you?
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:01 PM
    muddyfarm
    Yes, I did have my last girlfriend cheat on me. It really heart broke me
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:05 PM
    muddyfarm
    No, I'm not upset with myself for not being there for sex. I guess a threesome is something I have never done and always kind of wanted to, but would be really upset if someone else had sex with her.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:09 PM
    topladyj
    Have you perhaps cheated on her and maybe this is why you want her to do it. If you want to have a three some ask her but don't be surprised if you get a big clump of spit in your face... lol
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:09 PM
    squeaks77
    Have you been faithful to her while she has been gone? Meaning, do you want her to cheat on you because you feel guilty?
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:11 PM
    liz28
    So if your going be upset if she have sex with someone then you don't want her to cheat but suspect she might because of your ex cheatingp
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:18 PM
    muddyfarm
    No, I don't want a threesome. And I have been faithful to her. I don't get it, I just want her to come back and I want to figure out that she has cheated on me. I kind of hold a grudge against her because she had been with about 7 guys before me and it always hurt my feelings. But she has been faithful for the whole time we have been dating. I guess I just want to feel the hurt of her cheating on me and know all of the details to hurt me more. Why do I want that?
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:21 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma
    I guess a threesome is something I have never done and always kind of wanted to.

    No, I don't want a threesome.

    Which one is it? You seem to be a very cofused person. I think there is something that you are not telling us...
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:24 PM
    muddyfarm
    Sorry. I mean I think a threesome is interesting, but I would never do it.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:27 PM
    liz28
    Your mainly disappointed that she had mor sexual partners then you and feel she can't go without sex. This whole being apart thing is killing because you're a little insecure.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:27 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma
    If there is something else to this story that you aren't telling us, we need to know in order to help you.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:32 PM
    liz28
    There's a lot missing from this story and we learned more as the question pop up.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:33 PM
    muddyfarm
    Really, I believe I have told you everything. I did mention that my last girl friend of a little over two years ago cheated on me. And I feel like I want her to so I can be hurt. This whole thing makes no sense to me. I almost guess maby I want her to cheat so she can feel guilty and hurt for being with so many guys, but that just doesn't seem correct.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:37 PM
    liz28
    I don't get why you want your current girlfriend to feel guilty?
  • Jun 5, 2008, 03:38 PM
    muddyfarm
    I don't think I do. I'm trying to come up with a answer, but am really clueless. That is the best thing I have been able to come up with.
  • Jun 5, 2008, 05:12 PM
    brittneybam
    Mabey the reason you want her to cheat on you is because you love her too much and you think if you love her anymore you might go crazy feeling like your heart would explode! Maybe your looking for a way out of your relationship because your looking for an easy way out and a new relaionship!!
  • Jun 5, 2008, 05:14 PM
    talaniman
    I think you want to confirm what your insecure mind is telling you!
  • Jun 6, 2008, 05:50 AM
    Romefalls19
    Tal does it again! You figure she's cheating anyway, so why doesn't she prove your mind right
  • Jun 6, 2008, 06:17 AM
    damaged
    Yea.. I agree maybe you just want prove.. or maybe since she left, you don't feel that you can handle this long distance relationship and somehow you want to get dissapointed..

    Who knows?
  • Jun 6, 2008, 09:17 AM
    emopunk7
    I know this feeling... I know exactly what you are talking about... There may be a passion in this... Like having someone have sex with your girlfriend may seem sexy but you don't really want it to happen. You think you don't deserve happiness but you do!! You are still holding grudges and you must forgive her. She loves you tremendously and you must love like you've never been hurt. Give her that chance... She is pure to YOU! Leave here pure and don't wish her body upon others. It's disgusting. She is yours and that is beautiful... Respect her and love her. Please don't say that you want her to cheat on you. You deserve happiness so go and grab it because it is exactly what you are getting. Enjoy and embrace it my friend! Love!
  • Jun 6, 2008, 10:11 AM
    squeaks77
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by muddyfarm
    I kinda hold a grudge against her because she had been with about 7 guys before me and it always hurt my feelings. But she has been faithful for the whole time we have been dating.

    No matter what you are doing now, if you blame her for her past (having the audacity to have sex before she met you) you ARE going to ruin the relationship. You need to get over the fact there were boyfriends/lovers before you. Remember: she's with YOU now and she is faithful to you.
  • Jun 6, 2008, 10:38 AM
    kmg79
    Sounds like a commitment issue on your part. I think you really love her, but hope that she cheats to give you a reason to break it off.
  • Jun 6, 2008, 06:25 PM
    Lovelee
    Why you would want to inflict this type of pain on yourself is beyond me. If you really love her then deep down you don't want this
  • Jun 28, 2008, 10:49 PM
    Libertarian
    Sounds simple enough. You may have a submissive side that is beginning to come out of its shell. This sounds like a cuckold fantasy. Many cuckolds desire to see (or simply know) that their significant other is desiring another, or seeing them. And the more love you feel for this woman, the stronger the urge to be a cuckold. Of course the term cuckold is often misunderstood, since it derives from the word cuckoo, a male bird whose female companion flies off to mate with other male birds, leaving it to take care of the eggs. A human cuckold male is the spouse of a cheating wife, but many men are "willing cuckolds" in that it is not done against their will, but rather they wish it to happen. It's a sexual turn on, a sexual fetish. Couples who communicate this with each other, and who both like the idea of one or both of them being shared with others outside the relationship often become swingers. Look this up on the internet, and you will find a lot of information about it.
  • Jun 28, 2008, 11:53 PM
    sokay
    Maybe you're so afraid it might happen because of her past and your past experience being cheated on, that you figure 'Well if it's going to happen, might as well get it over with'.

    But not everyone is a cheater, though, thank goodness! She may never do it and be glad for that! And if she does well then you can go from there.

    Cheating is something I never understood. I know my feelings are if I wanted to be with someone else, I would first get out of the current relationship. I guess some people like to have their cake and eat it too.
  • Jun 29, 2008, 12:18 AM
    tami1985
    Maybe your sadistic, maybe you don't want to be happy, maybe you need conflict and bad stuff to feel meaning in life.

    My question is what would you do if she cheated on you. Take her back and make her... What would you do?

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