girlfriend problems, getting mad at me for reasons unknown
Hi, be warned, this might get a bit long so I apologize in advance for the length.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about 18 months and recently she's gotten into a rather depressed state of mind and has started to take everything (even pointless little things that are meaningless) out on me, for the last few weeks I've been going to her house to see her after work and trying to do what we normally do as best I can (we lost a baby a few weeks ago) so its pretty much just been my trying to be there for her and to help her cope, by trying to make her laugh and getting her to talk about what happened so she doesn't bottle it up and start the downward spiral towards depression (hard to do I know because lets face it losing a baby is going to have quite an effect on her) but I've tried to be there for her, but its seemed like she hardly wanted me around when I was there, but as soon I was gone she wanted me there.
Anyway yesterday one of my friends who I haven't seen in a while called me up and asked me if I wanted to go out, so naturally I did the nice thing and saw if my girlfriend minded me going "you haven't seen him in ages, go for it" she said, when she actually meant "no, I want you go come here" but she never said that directly to me, she said to a few of our mutual friends "typical the day I want to actually see my boyfriend and he has better things to do" I mean I asked her if she minded and she said no, anyway my friends told me that she actually wanted to see me so I went over hers before meeting with my old friend and I was willing to cancel because I feel my girlfriend needs me more right now and my friend would've understood that. I got to her house and she proceeded to bite my head off "what're you doing here?" so I told her how I heard she wanted to see me and she then proceeded to break down crying and told me to f*** off "but you wanted to see me.." "well I want to be on my own now" "okay...want me to come over later after I've seen my friend?" "no just leave me alone"
So I went out with my friend and rang her later to see if she was OK, she was we had a nice conversation about random stuff and she sounded genuinely happy while we were talking, but then my phones battery died and my friend went to see his girlfriend so I went to my other friends for a while.
Then later on on the night me and a few of my friends were meant to be going to playing video games but that got canceled for reasons unknown at the moment, and I went home and text my girlfriend telling her I couldn't sleep she then said "I thought you were out?" "I was earlier but it got canceled now I can't sleep" and she started to get really defensive and dismissive with me "ok..." "are you alright?" "YES" "you've gone dismissive" "I have yeah" "why?" "it doesn't matter" "okay.." "how can you not be able to sleep when Gary text me saying he was out with you and Dave?" "we went to pick him up earlier and as soon as we did Duggy canceled on us so we drove about for a bit" "I see" "you've gone dismissive again" "I just f***ing hate it when you twist the truth FOR NO REASON, it makes me feel like s***" "how did I twist the truth?" "forget it." "okay..." and she hasn't spoken to me since I mean... how exactly did I twist the truth? I told her what I was doing and why my friend text her saying he was out with me but I reallly can't see where the twisting of the truth comes into play I know that she's got a few emotional issues right now with losing the baby and stuff but if she actually said to me "would you come over?" I would do instead of getting mad with me for being out with my friends when she wants to see me, its frustrating more than anything because its going to end up being me who apologises about it even though I've done nothing wrong but there won't be peace until I do, so how exactly do I go about "being there for her" when she wants nothing to do with me when I'm at hers and constantly wants me there when I'm not there? Its actually starting to get me down
Comment on TrueFaith's post
I completely agree, good advice!
Comment on jolienoire's post
Good observations! There needs to be major communication involved here