First, hello to everyone. I'm new here and I found this site by looking for questions similar to mine, or similar as can be. However nothing was just right.
So here I am.
This is sort of a long story, but I'll try to make it short as I can for you all.
I met this girl named Tiana back in August of 2007. The first night she and I met, we had sex, which came as a surprise to me. She told me she wanted to be my girlfriend, and although hesitant, I figured "why not?"... so I agreed.
The next day comes, and I call her up and she's crying dramatically. She goes on to tell me she's sorry but she's a Jehovah's Witness and can't be with me. I try arguing with her and tell her she's being irrational, but I don't get through. I'm not too upset because I just met her, so I hang up.
2 weeks or so later, she calls me up, very apologetic, and tells me she made a huge mistake and she regrets breaking up. She tells me she wants to be with me no matter what, and she's positive. (I'm paraphrasing for you all) I'm very understanding person, we all make mistakes, and it's not like she did something horrible to me, so I trust her.
So for a while everything seems okay. However her family is giving her a REALLY tough time about "leaving the truth"... her mom threatening to cut her out the family, having her grandpa (whom Tiana loves more than anything) call her and say how "dissapointed" he is in her... just to make her cry. However the whole time Tiana is telling me she loves me and nothing can break us apart.
That didn't last long though. Eventually Tiana tells me she met this girl named Laura (not a Witness). I don't think anything about it but from there slowly things got bad. Suddenly Tiana would not reply to my emails (which she used to ALWAYS email me)... she'd ignore her phone, which for her is unheard of. If she would reply she'd tell me she's sorry and was busy, but I'm no fool.
For about 2 weeks I have no way of getting a hold of her, then finally I do. I am at a restaurant with some of my family, and I'm standing outside. She answers the phone very non chalant, "Hello?".. I ask her why she never answers her phone or calls me back, she says, "I've been busy"... sort of coldly while laughing at whatever is going on with her and her friend Luara. I am in shock, because literally not long ago she was telling me she loves me! So I ask her, in hope she'd say, "no way baby, remember I told you we'll always be together?"... "Do you want a break or something?" and she says, "If that's what you wan t"... I get upset because that's NOT what I want, obviously. I tell her, "Wait who said that's what I want, you're the phone never answering your phone and ignoring me"... suddenly her phone hangs up on me. She ignores my call backs for a while then answers saying she's "sorry" and had no service. (I'm not a fool though)... she suddenly then breaks down telling me she can't be with me any more, etc. Like dramatically crying. I then can hear her friend Laura in the background saying, "hang up hang up hang up".. I am so upset that Tiana is allowing her to say that. I mean my heart is about to be crushed why make it worse? I say "Tell your friend to shut up!".. Tiana tone changes suddenly to anger, "Don't talk to her like that"...
*click*
From there for weeks I don't hear from her. Just once in a while in which she assures me she's not having sex, or dating, just needs "time to herself".. and she just hangs out with Laura.
She posts on a forum we're both a member at that a friend of mine owns. It's a small forum. She began posting things like doing ecstasy, and getting high... etc. How she didn't think she'd be alive much longer. She made a thread about how she hates when she gets too high 'cause she always ends up in someone's bed on on their couch. (umm what does that mean exactly?)
One day she posted about how she just smoked 15 cigarettes, so I contact her finally and ask her why she's doing this. She tells me she'll always be alone, that she is sorry and she loves me. At first I tell her that we should just be friends for a while, because I had trouble trusting her. She adamantly refused saying she had to be with me, etc. So I gave in, figuring eveyone makes mistakes.
Literally, next day, I call her up and she at first answers the phone nicely with "hello?"... then I say, "hey baby" and she says coldly, "what?".. I'm a bit shocked, and I'm like, "uhh, let me guess, Laura is there, right?".. she says, "Yeah, so?"... and I say, "well it explains why you're being a "... so she hangs up on me.
I talk to Tiana since then and she she tells me basically that she loves me and wants to be with me, but can't right now. I question her if this is because she wants to "slut around" and date other people. She says no, and gets upset for me not "trusting her"... She assures me she's not doing anything sexual. And so I tell her I won't either then. (and I don't)
A couple weeks or so later she calls me and this is when everything goes REALLY down hill. She tells me she thinks she's pregnant. She says she's failed 2 pregnancy tests and has no one to go to and knows I care so thought she's come to me. (I know, funny right?) I asked her why she wasn't using protection and she say they were but it "slipped".. :rolleyes: Then I ask very angerily why she was lying to me, she tells me it only happened once and she was drunk and high, and it was only once.
HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Btw she clamed she never had sex on Ecstasy.
Later I talk to a friend of hers name Joey, I ask him about what she was doing (he was talking to her on a regular basis then).. he tells me he knows of 4 or 5 guys. He lists them all out pretty much in detail. Also I ask him about her having sex on ecstasy, he says, "she mentioned having sex on ecstasy in the shower and how amasing it was."
Tiana tells me it was that ONE guy, 4 times. Tiana says she never had sex on ecstasy, but was high in the shower.
:confused:
I ask her why she told me with that guy "once" and she claims she's never said that. (How would *I* forget something like that?)
Tiana later tells me she's had a miscarriage. That the guy was a jerk and they're not talking. Laura apparently told her to stay away from her and her friends... I guess Laura couldn't handle Tiana.
So then I cut off connection with Tiana, and I started talking to a new girl, who seemed really cool. I needed some way to move on from Tiana. Tiana starts emailing me saying she misses me, I ignore. She seems panicked though, emails me continuously. I ignore her. Eventually she calls me up, I decide to answer because from ignoring ME to acting like a freak when I ignore her, I figured "maybe I'll see what she has to say"..
She is crying telling me she loves me, made a huge mistake. I asked her why she would do that, she said the guy was a Jehovah's Witness, and she knew what they were doing was wrong, but thought she can change him. She said she had sex with him to "seal the deal"... umm, which to me made no sense because she had sex with me on the first night, so why wasn't our deal sealed?
I sort of trust her words, because I did tell her under no circumstance would I becaome a Witness, but I had nothing negative to say about it as long as she didn't leave me over it.
LATER though I talk to Joey, he sends me an AIM conversation of them to that was saved. She said during time she was emailing me over and over again, that she's going to be alone now, has no one. And how she doesn't know why she cares so much, how she didn't want me when she could had me. And now "he's gone and I'm alone".
Just so you all know, on my friends forum she posted pictures of a guy saying they're "friends with benefits".. she said nothing happened but a kiss though. I say this because she tells me she left me for the religion, and only dated one guy. Yet stuff like that really makes me wonder if that's what it is. I talked with this guy I know named Mike (who talked with her sometimes) I asked him how she acted on ecstasy... and if he knew of her sleeping with guys. He is not type to make stuff up, so he's like "honestly man I don't know"... he just led him to believe that she was either going to be getting high on E and having sex, or end up in some guys bed to be taken advantage of.
I question her about it, she says he's lying, etc... you know how it goes.
Just so you all know. Tiana says she's had sex with only 4 guys her entire life, she's had sex with the guy she basically cheated on me with 4 times, and she's only done ecstasy 4 times.
Now for 4 months since we've been back together, she's been perfect. In fact I changed and I put up with NOTHING. I set up "rules" for her being with me. If slightly broken I'll dump her "arse"...
Example: she pissed me off and I got out her car and told her I'm done with her, she gets out her car, crying dramatically. I'm walking down the side walk, she chases me crying and tells me how "I'm throwing everything away" (haha)... I tell her how I'm not going to deal with her BS any more. She HITS me... and says, "I can't believe you're gonna do this to me"... now I am in shock, I back up and turn around to walk away. She falls on to her knees and begs me while sobbing not to leave her.
So I feel bad and give her a hug and say everything is okay. This senerio has happened more than once. She panics if I don't talk to her. OR threatens to kill herself.
Point: I try and try to let go and forgive her. But there's so many unanswered questions. Things not adding up. I sometimes feel I should move on, but I love her. That's why I even gave her a chance.
I just want to know what you all thing about her. I feel like she only came back to me because likely that other guy dumped her, she lost her friends, so who's left? I feel really hurt that she slept with someone else... I don't think I can get over it. What do I do?
