Ok first off guys and gals. Don't get angry with me

I'm not shallow, I'm trying to break the habit of that! Because I found out that 90% of the time people I'm normally with are insanely hot but insane!

OK so I'm a 26 year old. Attritive guy. I always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. It was my thing. Envy of my friends. But I found that this life is pretty empty

Anyway if had some fun times as of late.

And I'm with this new girl. She chased me a lot. So I thought why not ill give it a go. And I think I found someone I can really connect with on a personal level. And I must say I really really like it.

But she knows the type of girls I've been with and. She goes why are you with me when you could be with the.. Pretty.. types. I told her that its not that important.

Now she isn't ugly by no sens. But she isn't that typ of girl I would go for. Now before people start saying don't be with her then if you don't think she is pretty or your type, I'm trying to break a habbit, and I like being with this girl..
:) but here's the thing.
Is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? Like have her workout in the gym with me. And get you hair done etc?

She knows what I'm like. Vain and shallow but I am trying to change I don't think someone who is like that. Would be on a site like this. :)

Do you think this is wrong?

As I said girls and guys don't get to angry with me about this post. It shows I'm growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.


Regards

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

it shows im growing up and looking for something more than just a hot chick.

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No you're not. You're not looking for a hot chick. You found a not-so-hot chick and you're trying to turn her into a hot chick.

There's nothing wrong with wanting for your girl to get some exercise/get her hair done (in my opinion)... but by the way you're talking about it, you're making it seem like you're too good looking for her.

If she wanted to look different, she would have done it already. She seems to be happy the way she is. You should be too.

Dating a girl isn't a way to "break a habit"...

I'd write a post under mine frantically apologizing to the women on this site that'll bury you alive. Sorry dude.

Hold on for a rollercoaster ride, with an explanation at the end.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

im not shallow, im trying to break the habit of that!

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If you aren't shallow, then why should you have to break the habit. Apparently you ARE shallow and you know it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

90% of the time people im normally with are insanely hot but insane!

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And you are one of the 10% who is "normal?" Oh, yeah, Hot Normal. LMAO, gimme a break.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

ok so im a 26 year old. attritive guy. i always went with the most popular girls in school and the best looking girls in the work place. it was my thing. envy of my friends. but i found that this life is pretty empty

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Yup, pretty empty to be sure. You know why? You can't fit a bunch of people in a shallow pit.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

someone i can really connect with on a personal level. and i must say i really really like it.

but she knows the type of girls iv been with and. she goes why are you with me when you could be with the .. Pretty.. types. i told her that its not that important.

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Wow, you spoke volumes here, you may just be digging yourself out of the shallow pit you were in.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

is it wrong to want to make her more pretty? like have her workout in the gym with me. and get ya hair done etc?

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Yes, it's wrong. On many levels. Do you want her to change you?

You can never change a person, only they can change themselves when and if they so choose.

Now, here is where I get serious.

You are a very vain and shallow person, you already know that, so this is nothing new to you. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty may be looks, they fade... breasts sag, bottoms go flat, gravity runs it's course.

However, intelligence grows. From reading your posts you place more importance on your looks and what kind of beauty that you date versus intelligent you are, because you are definitely not intelligent. Sorry to be so blunt, and I'm sure to get a reddie here, but I don't care.

Personally, if I were a hot beauty, the kind you are attracted to, I wouldn't date you because you can't spell, your grammar is terrible, and your punctuation is atrocious. And, yes, that is shallow too, but what is beautiful to one, is horrific to another. You have to take the good with the bad, the ying with the yang.

Beauty runs skin deep...

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Originally Posted by J_9

Personally, if I were a hot beauty, the kind you are attracted to, I wouldn't date you because you can't spell, your grammar is terrible, and your punctuation is atrocious. And, yes, that is shallow too, but what is beautiful to one, is horrific to another.

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Oh, mama! You took the words right out of my mouth! Looks like he has a bit of work to do on himself before he starts trying to fix up anyone else.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Oh, mama! You took the words right out of my mouth! Looks like he has a bit of work to do on himself before he starts trying to fix up anyone else.

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I have to spread the love WG, but, if I were not married, I would never date a man, gorgeous or not, who was not my intellectual equal.

J_9, I couldn't rate you either, so I supported your comment the only way I could.

If your not attracted to someone, then that can't be helped. But to demand or even just to ask them to change for you is wrong. Like previously stated, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you care about her, care about who she IS, not who you want her to be.

There really isn't much I could say that hasn't been said already. You are shallow, and admitted as much. Work on yourself, don't make others feel like they have to be a certain way for you.

Ouch :) well thank you guys for your reply I'm sorry if upset anyone I really didn't want to do that. I know I am shallow and I am just trying to make a change. I guess its wrong what I wanted. I'm still going to try and change though sorry to have upset you J.9

And J.9 if you were a hot babe... babe. You would date me because that's the typ of people they are turned on by. That's why I wanted to change my patterns.

As for my spelling and gramma, I'm still learning english :) Danks/english

I won't go over my good points on here but we have my bad points out in the open. Now can someone please tell me how to fix this :)

And not tell me what I already know. And not how they won't date me because I'm shallow or. Can't spell. Or this and that.. lala.

I do know I have to work on myself! Any tips for that

Hope to get a reply from someone that doesn't think I'm attacking them because there a bit fat or a bit skinny old or whatever





Thanks for the reply guys

Any more advice would be idea :)

Regards

You come off as really full of yourself. I'll tell you right now, your relationship isn't going to work if you sit there and think about how you want to make her better looking all the time and if she's going to always wonder whether she's good enough or not. Don't go out with her for your benefit, to change yourself, go out with her because you're attracted to to her. Whether its her humor, personality or looks. Everyone comes in a package.

Personally, I wouldn't want to be with a guy because he wanted to "give it a go."

It is nice that you care about her on a personal level, but I'm still turned off by you.

... and it's "attractive"

Thank you Rocker. Of course you are turned off I'm probable going to anger a lot of people out there.
. But thankful this is a place where you can post what you think and how you feel.

I don't come off this way in the real world don't worrie. Other wize yeah id never get anyone ;)

And a reply like yours is very good and is the best advice I got :)

I'm going to give you some slack.

maybe its cause I'm a guy.

why does any woman buy lingerie? Its to visually and mentally impress her man most of the time... though you could say a confident woman would look at herself, say "i rock", and if the guys doesn't agree, he knows where the door is. That said, is it as much fun when you can't show it to anyone?

wouldn't most of you be disappointed if your man shrugged it off when you slipped into that sexy dress, as if it couldve been sweats?

is it wrong for you to want her to look a little different? Yes and no.

my wife hates it when my hair is too long. She hates me with a beard. She likes me to be fit. These are all things that amp up her attraction. Its not wrong.

I like her runners legs. I like her italian hair when its wavy and shined. Love her toes painted. Is it wrong? no.

so... your impulse isn't wrong at all. You like what you like and you are trying to find an in between. The girl you can connect with mentally and physically. Good job. Ill be the first to say it.

as for the other side... you don't get to be with someone with the expectation that they will change. How would you feel if a mate told you that you could no longer go to your monthly poker party with the guys? It shouldn't work that way.

I do think its important for couples to try to do some things to please each other. My wife knows the kind of clothes that turn my head and she tried to fit it into the routine. She knows what physical attributes I favor and she tries to tease me with them.

key thing is all you can do is tell her what you like about her, and tell her what you might like. After that, its up to her.

if its not enough for you, well at least you are making your way out of the slime pit step by step. =)

Thank you Kp :) that's great.. yeah ill do that with her I always tell her what I love about her :)

Her personality is great she is cute and she treats me really well :)

Yeah I am making my way out bud or at least trying to :)


Dude So true about the

)))))((wouldnt most of you be disappointed if your man shrugged it off when you slipped into that sexy dress, as if it couldve been sweats((())))

It is important but its not the be all and end all :)

Many thanks

Regards

You're on the right track, and I think that the more you get to know someone the more they will become attractive to you, physically and mentally.

That was my point when I started :). J.9 just got way to hurt by it all. Can't reply to anything if your hurt or angry.

That's what I've found a girl that I'm very... attracted... to mentally. I've always had the physical side always, and its very nice to find the emotional one :)


Thank you rocker :)

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

thank you very much for your advice.

it was really amazing :)


i guess your one of the ugly people? you took it so personal. but why..

i am really good looking i do get tons of chicks. i can't help it its true.. i work as a model. you have probable seen me on those CK underwear boxes. the typ of guy you fantazie about while your with ya man or women whatever. the typ of stuff people want to better them selfs to be?

thats what all them make over shows are about. to be more like what i am. the social typ of hot. if you saw me you would drool its a fact.

i dont know why we can't say this stuff to people. hey ya ugly or hey ya hot. or hey ya smell.

Like you. if you work behind ya desk typing all day eating candy getting fat.. people can't say oh hey girly girl. your packing on the pounds there?


or if ya face is a bit strange. go wow. thats a strange head you got there.

i am just trying to change my self though :p.

even when im older i will still be hot :P

i always get agro from the ugly ones. but i just put it down to there own issues


bye di bye XxX

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Thanks for the PM, however I don't respond in PMs.

I did not get all hurt or angry. Quite the contrary. People like you are so shallow so as not to see what is important in life. You're too busy looking in the mirror than taking time to smell the roses.

What is beautiful to you, may be ugly to me and visa versa.

Oh, and you definitely are NOT the type of guy I fantasize about. I like men who are intellectual and not so full of themselves.

Glad you think so much of yourself, but I can guarantee you I would NOT drool over you.

Wow... This guys is just too much, he came to this forum why? The beauty of the internet is that you can be anyone you want and say you're hot and are very attractive but in reality could be a World of Warcraft computer nerd. The fact that he doesn't know how to talk proper English speaks volumes. He talks kind of what is commonly known as "hood" "hey ya kinda fat" come on. I'm not here to bash anyone, but don't come to this forum expecting realistic advice when you're being cocky. You could be attractive on your appearance but have the beauty of an ugly beast on the inside. So you have dated all the "popular" girls in HS... Congrats, look at where they got you. If you want advice, my advice is go see a shrink and find out what you are so shallow and feel the need to try and change a woman who seems to be "perfect" for you but you want to change them none the less.

B.T.W - I am really Brad Pitt and I am not seeing Angelina anymore, so I'm single... HA HA

Changing someone to better suit your needs is growing up? Growing up is knowing you CAN'T change people.

Leave this girl alone, enough with your sick experiment of "can I learn to love her?"

You're shallow and she deserves somebody better.
You fell in love with HER: not who you WANT Her to be.
I wouldn't change for you.
I'd kick you to the curb.

Damn skippy.. No one can change someone, you have to want to change for yourself. And obviously she likes the way she is. So she has self love for herself, but you don't. Your insecure in what people will think of you because you have all these "hot" ladies around you all the time and then you "downgrade" to someone like her. Now you're probably going to come on her and brag about your modelling careeer and all that nonsense, and even if I say you're probably brain dead with no intelligence you will counter by saying "you have a Ph.D and a 4.0 in college" so I would love to get into a battle of wits with you, but sadly you are unarmed. If you don't want her or have to learn to love her, let her go, she will find a lot better.

And Pam, why haven't you returned my phone calls?

Lots of this going around lately, the inflated ego.

Listen Truefaith, I too am very self confident in matters relating to physical appearance. However, you need not write your question and pepper it with compliments about yourself, it really does show how vulnerable and perhaps not as confident as you say you are.

If a guy/girl is attractive and dates attractive women they let that suffice, they know they are hot and what they can attract but have no need to announce it to anyone, actions speak louder than words right?

As for your PM to J9, that really is too much. What made you write that dribble is beyond me and it exposes you for what most people here see, a FAKE. In your head you may be a supermodel (though I doubt you actually think that) but in reality you come across as being a fool, not for your writing but for how you conduct yourself. I can't imagine any girl hot or not being attracted to someone with your idea of themselves, but I also doubt you think your better than most, I really think this is a defence mechanism. IF you say it we'll believe it, but not many do.

You are right about one thing, you do need to change or rather just start being yourself before you "woo" all these ladies to your intoxicating smell and show them your CK briefs:)

This is to the poster - Truefaith,
Would you rather date somebody who are themselves, or would you rather date somebody who they are not? Think hard about that question; and also think back on the ways your Mama raised you, I'm sure she raised you better then this. What if your girlfriend wants to make you "more attractive" and wants you to get your haircut a certain way, and, wear certain clothes, and "work out" more, how would that make you feel? That's just giving her reasons to be insecure with her body, and, no girl should be insecure with herself.

Thanks a lot guys for the replys :)

No ones perfect here we all have our issues. These are mine and I'm getting them out :)
I have strong and bad points like most of us do.

I have read all your guys posts and sometimes your post come out as needy or self destructive. Or just plane sad :
Either way we all come here to talk and you guys have helpt me. Just don't jump up on your high horse when most of you are in someway
Dumped or Dumpers we are all here for a reason.

To help with our relationships.
As for the Battle of wits thing. I have no reason to fight I just want asnwers and there have been great ones on here

Very helpful. I will learn how to change.

P.S Romefalls19 you're an IT guy don't put me in the same spot as you. I don't spend my life behind a desk ;) and I don't play games I wish I had the time to though.

Nothing like sitting behind a desk all day with candy and coke huh :)

Regards

I think it's good that you are trying to change the way you think. If you are a model, I understand that image is part of your profession. However, there are lots of people who don't care quite as much, which I'm sure you know from the responses on here.

Here's the thing. You can't change who someone is. You have to decide if this is something you can live with and be happy with if it doesn't change. If this girl gets the feeling that you are trying to push her to 'fancy up', then don't be surprised if she walks away. Women want someone who thinks they are attractive for who they are, not how much make-up they wear or what hairstyle they have.

Take me for instance. I'm in good shape, I run every day, lift weights, etc. I do get asked out on dates a lot. I've never been a make-up person. I wear it once in a while, but it's not a must to leave the house for me. I prefer a natural look, since I think natural is beautiful for women. That is just me. I'm busy, so I have a simple hairstyle. In other words, I'm low maintenance. I work out for health, not because I want to look a certain way. That is just an extra bonus.

I wouldn't be happy with a guy that is really into how he looks. That is just me. I think it is un-sexy for a guy to be into appearance too much. As long as the guy is clean, shaves, dresses decently and has a great personality, I'm happy.

And by the way, you seem to think that any woman would want you. Newsflash- not everyone likes the same type of guy. I have a friend who loves big guys. That is what she finds sexy. My fiancée is going bald (and he's only in his 20s.) I couldn't care less. He is healthy and that is about all I care about physical-wise. I still think he's sexy.

So, my point is, if you don't think you can handle it, leave her. If you think you would like to change, but aren't quite there yet, leave her or see a counselor to work through the image issues. If you continue to push for workouts and make-overs, you may make the poor girl develop an eating disorder or ruin her self esteem forever.

What the heck was the comment about "You must be one of the ugly ones since you took offense" I'm sure glad you didn't PM me with that, cause you wouldn't have like the response. How the heck do you know if someone is pretty or ugly over the net anyway? And who are you to define those terms? Like someone has to be 'ugly' to be offended by the way you think you are god's gift to women? Most guys consider me to be 'hot'. I'm not bragging because I'm engaged and I don't care what they think. But most guys seems to think I'm 'hot' and am pretty and have a good body. And I for one, and VERY offended by your view. But, like I said, you seem to be trying to change that and I think that is great.

Maybe talking to a counselor will help you change that outlook. You said people here need to not "jump on your high horse". You are the one on the high horse about appearance, though. You want to change this girl to think like you. So I don't understand how you feel you can even say that and not be hypocritical. But, like I said, it's great you want to change because you need too.

Good luck and I hope that you and your girlfriend are happy together. Not trying to preach at you or anything, I'm just giving you my honest opinion.

I only have one thing to say about the girl that you are with... She's way too good for you, and I hope that she will wake up one day soon and realize that, and then kick you to the curb where you belong!

I'm not usually harsh with anyone on this site, but if there is one thing that makes me sick to my stomach it's people who are vain and shallow!. I'm trying really hard right now not to lose the dinner that I just finished eating.

That's a very true point Peggy :) thank you

Of course your upset by what I think. So am I.. But at least you can see some good there which is really nice thank you. Your able to see past it. As with my girlfriend I told her that I'm no good for and she shouldn't be with someone like me. But she says she loves me and that's all that matters.

I guess its nice to have that. As I said I've never had that before so its fun. I don't think she is ugly and I don't cheat on her. I have been offered by a few of the girls a work with but I say no I'm with her.


Firefly. That's a fun pic not sure its you. Red heads are fun
But your right she probable is to good for me. That's why I want to change :)

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

i want to change :)

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Then start with your manners.

You have a major apology you need to make.

Next, start with your grammar and intelligence, expand on that. Women like men that they can have a conversation with, not a man who just looks pretty.

My maners?
J.9 you really did attack me there was no advice in your reply. It was full of hate and bitterness

As I said to start with I'm not here to offend anyone you got upset. The rest of the coments were great :)

I like pretty girls. And you like smart boys. What's the difference?

You need to not let things effect you so much girl ;)

Well babe thanks for the great input, with the amount of posts you have. You spend more time on here than in the real world


You can reply with whatever witty dumb or intelligent thing you can come up with to make yourself feel better. Or not. Whatever

As for the rest good points ill take them in

P.S the typ of chicks that go after me. I know what there into. And that's cool what I'm saying is I like the chick I'm with now. And I think its going to go great :)

Wow... I'm glad you realise how shallow you sound. Not meaning to repeat what's already been said... but damn... And where exactly did you learn English? Please tell me it's your second language.

Right, moving on from the personal insults, can I just say that your responses to people aren't likely to get you more positive or useful feedback from people. You can't go around assuming that people are unattractive because they don't have the same lifestyle as you:

"P.S Romefalls19 your an IT guy dont put me in the same spot as you. i dont spend my life behind a desk and i dont play games i wish i had the time to though.

Nothing like sitting behind a desk all day with candy and coke huh"

Dude... that's a surefire way to get -slapped. And just so you know, one of my best friends works in IT, but is also a highly trained martial artist in peak physical condition with a well-toned body, immaculate hair and a gorgeous face. He just happens to like working with computers. Maybe you should try it sometime. Find something intellectual to do with your life rather than being entirely focused on your image.

Seriously, I'm pretty happy with the way I look. I don't wear makeup because I don't see any need to conceal myself and I wear the clothes that I think suit me, rather than whatever's the latest buzz. And sure, I could work out a little more and change my clothes and hair to get more attention (which I'm not exactly lacking), but I choose not to. I expect people to like me for me. And they do. If they like the way I look (and plenty do), even better! But that's a secondary consideration.

If you actually like this girl, get over it! Right now! Seriously. You said your previous relationships were shallow and empty, so DON'T turn this into one of them too. She won't change herself for you, and if she does she's a complete idiot and you probably deserve each other.

Also, find some kind of intellectual pursuit so that you have a focus that's above physical appearances.
Have you ever tried reading a book? One WITHOUT pictures? I highly recommend it.

Kind regards,

Kal

In my opinion, people that throw the word shallow around are lazy. I'm of the opinion that 9 times out of 10, the people that say "you're shallow for liking hot people" are usually out of shape people who don't give a damn about their appearance. There's nothing appealing about people who don't have the discipline to not eat 35 bags of chips and pound 6 sodas before dinner.

If you don't have the discipline to take care of your body, how can you have the discipline to take care of me? My children? My finances? Now, I'm not saying I need somebody to do this for me, I'm pointing out the message sent by people who don't take care of themselves.

That said, I find people use the term shallow as a way of intellectualizing their laziness as your fault, so I'd disregard that. To address your question, the real problem lies in weather or not this girl WANTS to do this. If you're shoving diet/exercize/those hot blond highlites down her throat, then you're just breeding a different personality which is going to go out of control sooner or later because it's not her. If she's somebody that's led the "sheltered" life and never really had a reason to care for herself or never had the knowhow or whatever her reason, then you're good to go.

The key is delivery. Don't tell her she's not good enough for you, if you want her to modify her appearance, your best bet is to do it subtly. If you want her to lose weight, go to the gym yourself and perpetually invite her. If you want her to change her hair, wait around for her next haircut and take interest in it. Stuff like that would be nice ways of working towards the appearance you want.

Anybody who says you're less of a person for wanting an attractive partner never tried to have sex with oprah.

Amazing thank you :) I so agree with what you said!

My girlfirend knows what I'm like I told her this but she still wants to be with me. And that's great :) I never once told her she was ugly but yeah I like to improve a bit. And I totally agree we can grow together in that respect..



English is my 2nd language so I'm sorry about that I try.
But if it makes you feel better to get at me. Go ahead :)

Oh yeah if I smile too much I'm just a happy person. Its all cheerful days with me


Thank you kal yeah people love you for who you are that's true. But the first bite as they say is with the eye.. and that is very important.
And it one of your posts you go.. . I guess it didn't occur to me that this girl would be recommending a guy who's so... ergh...

Ergh huh you sound very forgiving? Personality wasn't good enough for you? Looks weren't good enough for you? See we all have things don't we.. I bet no book reading helpt you there..
You attract creepy guys huh. Doesn't that say something about you don't you think? Maybe if you made an effort and not go around thinking the world should love you. No matter what like it owes you

Want to attract normal people?

You'd probable find someone. But sadly you get angry at people like me. Because we are proable the typ of people that turn you down
So you go home and read you book alone in bed. Shame
I know for a fact what typ of person you are my dear. I meet tons of um. I laugh at your coments

Don't worrie you'll get there one day ;) just keep at it tiger

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

english is my 2nd language so im sorry about that i try.
But if it makes you feel better to get at me. go ahead :)

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What's your first language?

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

Thank you kal yeah people love you for who you are thats true. but the first bite as they say is with the eye.. and that is very important.
and it one of your posts you go.. ...I guess it didn't occur to me that this girl would be recommending a guy who's so... ergh...
ergh huh you sound very forgiving? Personality wasnt good enough for you? looks werent good enough for you? see we all have things dont we.. i bet no book reading helpt ya there..

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I'm glad you've been reading up on me. I think if you read some of my other posts you would be able to find some much more interesting gossip to spread. Yay for you.
On the other hand, I think my description of the guy as being"ergh" was fair enough considering he requested that I cut my breasts off. I mean, have to have some standards, right?
And I realise that the first "bite" is with the eye. I see people too and I realise that some look better than others. Of course when I first look at someone I'll only see their outer self, it's hard for personality to shine through in a single glimpse. But all in all, once I know people for a while, I either like them or I don't and I don't give a damn about their appearance.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

want to attract normal people?

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I do want to. And I succeed. It's just not as frightening when this happens so I see no need to make posts about it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

youd probable find someone. but sadly you get angry at people like me. because we are proable the typ of people that turn you down

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I've never been turned down in my life. OR dumped for that matter. Maybe someone like you WOULD turn me down, who can tell? But I've never been interested in someone like you, so I wouldn't know. And maybe you are attractive, I might even look twice. But I doubt I'd bother looking again the minute you opened your mouth.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

so you go home and read ya book alone in bed. shame
i know for a fact what typ of person you are my dear. i meet tons of um. i laugh at your coments

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Actually, I don't get as much time to read as I like. There's always too much else going on. But when I find the time, I enjoy it. Seriously, it's worth the effort.
And you don't know at all what kind of person I am. You can generalise all you like. The fact remains that you started this post to get advice, but you're perfectly willing to discount any opinions that do not coincide with your own on the basis that you're assuming we're all unattractive. If you wanted to get advice that did no more than encourage you, go and talk to some of your vapid, conceited model friends and get them to tell you that only a hot chick is worth the effort.
Have you seen the film Zoolander? Just because you're really really good-looking doesn't mean that you too can't be killed in a freak gasoline-fight accident.
What exactly are you getting out of life?

So, back to the point. You said the girl was cute. Not stunning perhaps. So what's the problem? If her features aren't perfect, what's the point of getting her hair coloured? If you want to get a knock-out gorgeous girlfriend, try paying for some plastic surgery instead. In fact, I think you should go and recommend it to her. It'll strengthen your relationship no end.

Have a fantastic day! :)

Kal

I had another thought about your situation, TrueFaith. I noticed that you said that the girl was really pursuing you in the relationship and that you told her you were no good for her, but she said she loves you. The reason that was a little concerning to me is because I think she might start feeling desperate and depressed if she feels that she is the only one pursing the relationship.

The whole situation may be a potential disaster. If she feels that you don't care about the relationship as much as you, then she is probably going to get really upset eventually. When the initial exciting feeling of being "in love" with someone she likes starts to fade, then she may start to feel bad about herself and get low self-esteem. I'm not saying that she isn't in love with you, only that at first when someone is in love then are very happy and giddy about it, and after a while they "come down to Earth" so to speak, and begin to notice the things that they don't like about the person more. That could make a number of bad things happen to her. She could become very depressed, her confidence could disappear, and, like I said before, she could develop an eating disorder.

This happened to my friend's daughter. Her boyfriend was telling her she needed to lose weight. He was mean about it and would always tell her to imitate the way other girls did their hair and make-up. She started starving herself and taking diet pills to lose weight. She collapsed when she was at work, ended up in the hospital, and was lucky she didn't have a heart attack or something after what she put her body through. It all started with a simple diet to lose a few pounds. But she became obsessed with not feeling "good enough" for her boyfriend. It was a downward spiral.

You say that you are trying to change and that you care about this girl. If that is true, maybe the best thing you could do for her would be to take a break from the relationship for a little while. If you truly want to be with her, then tell her that you need to take some time to reflect and think. That way you can take a step back, think about it, and decide if you can be permanently happy with this relationship the way it is right now. If so, then you will have to love her for who she is. If not, then tell her that you care for her so much that you are breaking it off, so that you don't hurt her. She will be upset if you do right now, but someday when she looks back she may realize you two are very different and realize that maybe it wouldn't have worked. After all, she could become pregnant (since even birth contol isn't 100%). Then you guys would want to try to have a permenent relationship, then you'll probably break up eventually, and it could be really bad for the kid. Just a what-if to consider, I guess.

Not telling you to break up, just giving you my thoughts about it.

You said you wanted to get her to go to the gym. If she is overweight, exercise would be good, but it has to be for health, not appearance. If she feels that you are trying to push her into an activity because of appearance, then that's when the self-esteem will plummet, if it hasn't already. If you want her to exercise to be healthy, see if you can find a fun exercise to do together. Maybe you could both try martial arts, paintball, or something fun like that. Dancing is a great way to exercise and is fun.

Exercise is always good if done for the right reasons, but you aren't going to be able to get her to change her hair, make-up, and clothes most likely. In my opinion, you should not ask her to. Good luck, hope all works out.

I think its useless trying to get through to this guy. I'm not convinced he is actually here for advice but rather he is just bored and wants to waste everyone's time.

The story is b.s, his idea of himself is b.s, the girls that line up for him is b.s. Truefaith, I have no issue with your language ability or grammar or level of intelligence but most would have a problem with the way you come off. Your idea of yourself is laughable and the fact you need to tell everyone (strangers for that matter) is actually a bit sad. I think you are covering up some serious insecurity issues and perhaps typing this makes you feel better.

IF you want a girlfriend that is attractive than I could understand to a point, I mean who would'nt right? But your not posting about that, rather your posting about how good looking you are and that is a problem deep inside you I think. Perhaps you can show all the ladies on here a picture of yourself and let them decide for themselves how amazing you really are, but I doubt you will do that for fear they do not see what you do, heck they already don't just based on your personality.

So good luck with the "changing" and new attitude you have.

Please don't give me a smiley face or say thanks for the advice, I beg of you... please... stop... the... madness:)

There you go, put a picture on here. :)

Don't try to force her to be something she isn't. Otherwise she'll only end up resenting you and it'll never work out.

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There you go, put a picture on here.

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I'm with you. I'd like to see one myself! :)... Ok, sorry, I'm getting caught up in the smiley face madness. :)... ooops!

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Originally Posted by peggyhill

There ya go, put a picture on here. :)

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Want to bet it'll be something he finds on the internet? Yeah, sure, right... He'll post a real pic of himself.

Oh, I just cant' bring myself to post a smilie, just can't do it.

Lol... the smilies are infecting us all on this thread. Ironic that he put a frown in his topic, got some negative responses, and has been smiles ever since?

To Kal

Never been turned down. Someone sounds a bit to into themselves is that pride I hear?
oo that's a bad thing. Just like. Liking yourself is as well.

-clap- smart girl



BMI.

I have issue I think you're the one with issue :)

I would worrie more about yourself wraping your time round you X and having your serious problems to deal it. Don't force yourself onto me :) I'm nothing like you I don't have serious problems.

only problem I have is that I think I can improve myself. And that's not a problem really.


at least I'm obsessed about myself and not about women. That really drives them away. As you fully well know. You shouldn't get angry. People that are obsessive have the worst typ of personal problems. They think the worst of themselves..
I feel sorry for you :D

Yeah I've had a few relationships where I've been the guy taking a girlfriend away from a boyfriend..

but normaly they have been like you :)

id say what your in a bit more b.s than what I'm in.

I hope you work out your problems boy..

and BMI I'm not posting about how good looking I am.. I'm saying that I am good looking its what I am.. just like your are Obsessive. It's a fact :) nothing more nothing less


move on man :) it hurts but you'll get there

I think your girlfriend should run as far away from you as possible, you are only going to make her miserable. You are unbelievably arrogant and self infatuated! Women also hate men that love themselves a hell of a lot more than they love their partners, they prefer you to love yourself just as much as you love them (for who they are, not what they look like) You should love her for her as much as you do yourself, maybe then there wouldn't be as much of a problem.

I don't think you can redeem yourself from the insults you have given to people on here and I think you should just go elsewhere to work out your problem, like to a counsellor, maybe they will be able to knock you down a peg or two and bring you back to the real world instead of being in your little "I love myself" bubble.

Run along!