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Hi, my girlfriend and I had been dating for almost 2 months when she left me for another guy and I still love her and I want her back but it hurts so much to see her go.
Would anybody be able to give me some sdvice on how to get over the break-up and move on?
Thanks
Please I really need help I can't get over her on my own...
Well, the question is would you want to get back with her, she dumped you for someone else. Think about that real hard, 2 months, perhaps your infactuated with her, and you are mistaking it for love. As I always say if someone wants to be with you nothing can keep them away... These next few days will be hard but you will begin to get better.. Think of it as her loss, and make sure not to keep yourself on standby, surround yourself around friends, go out, do something productive, don't contact her, delete her numbers, if it help, remove everything that reminds you of her. I would suggest you take this time and focus on yourself... when someone usually leaves for someone else it has nothing to do with you but everything to do with her needs, that was a selfish move, but it happens to the best of us then they realize they made a mistake and sometimes they come back and sometimes they don't but by her doing this the trust level has already been ruined.. If you were to get back with her you would be walking on eggshells... THink about it..
Yeah it certainly doesn't sound like love. 2 months into a relationship, the other cheats and you still want them. That sounds like complete infatuation. You will get over it. Even if it's on your own. I mean some people get divorced after 10 years and get through it alone. 2 months is a relative blink of an eye compared to that. After two months you knew very little of her and lo and behold you came to find she is a cheater. So now you got to know the real her, not the her that's in your head. What you need to do is go out and "grow your life". That means get strong enough where if by a girl after 2 months breaks up with you, you never say again "I can't get over her on my own". You do that by sticking with a game plan. Start working out, vigorously if you have to. Start some hobbies, make some friends, go and volunteer your time at a homeless shelter or for the environment. Read a bit about the psychology of relationships. Get yourself strong and smart and things like this will be more easily traversed.
Thanks for the help! She really hurt me so I'm going to try as hard as I can to get over her thanks for the advice! I'm definitely going to think this through
Time is the only answer, start going out with frineds and living your life.
It hurts so much, I keep going to text her and I do and she doesn't answer so I don't know if she is ignoring me or trying to help me because she told me she still loves me and she said she is seeing this guy mainly because he reminds her of me... the thing is, I think I may want her back
Or the girl was in a rebound relation, and now her ex has come back. That doesn't make her a cheater. But that makes our guy a fool. He was into her so soon and without a minimum of information about his ex.Quote:
Originally Posted by enigmagnetic
The guy isn't her ex. He's her friends brother.
One step in getting over a break up, is remember all the BAD times, and you soon won't want to be back with her. Although... two months, probably not many bad times squeezed in there.
There really weren't many bad times, we do have a bit of distance between us and we didn't get to see each other all the time... she said she left me for the other guy because she missed me and the new guy she met(which is her friends brother) reminded her of me... getting over this break-up has been very hard, I'm not a person that cries a lot and I have found myself crying every night and every morning, its not like soft crying its more along the line of quietly cryuing like a baby.
Now I have a major problem, I want to get back together with her but my friend told her that she was making my life horrible when she wasn't and now she won't talk to me, I need advice, anything,.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
Thanks for your help
Hi SchwartzQuote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
What do you mean by this comment above , I don't get why she would leave you for this new guy if he reminds her of you. WHY would she not just stay with you??
It was a long distance realationship
Ok thanks that clarifies it , so how old are you guys?Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
15 each
Its young for the feelings I have for her but its just amazing how much I care for her, its ture that you truly don't realize what you have until there gone
Well you are both still really young with your whole lives in front of you. You really just need to let her go at this point. If you start contacting her you are not only hanging on to false hope but you will also push her away. You see this is what happens , when you push they pull away.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
That's true , but believe me there will be others , like I said you have your whole life ahead of you.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
Its so hard no to talk to her, she tells me she loves me, but I feel as if I'm being ignored
They all say "I love you" And look I'm sure she cares for you a lot , BUT she has made her decision , respect that and let her go. If she really "loves you" she will come back. But don't put your life on hold waiting for her. If she knows you will always be there for her it just makes it easier for her to explore other avenues , which is what she is doing.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
Thanks a lot for your help, I'm so broken up over this I can't even eat, I shove the food down my throat do because I refuse to starve myself, I miss everything we ever did together... also, what do you mean by avenues?
She also said that she is undecided over who she wants to be with, do you know anything I might be able to do/say to win her back?
Listen , don't beat yourself up about it , what your feeling is perfectly normal when someone breaks up with you. Read all the other posts on this forum and you will see you are not alone.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
Time is a great healer , and anytime your feeling down just get on here and vent. There are always people willing to listen and give you advice. Important thing for you is YOU , just remember that. So don't worry about what she is doing or what she is thinking , concentrate on yourself.
Go out and be with friends etc. and before you know it you will be on the road to recovery. But that won't happen until you LET GO.
If she wanted to be with you she would be , don't push her that is the best advice I can give you. If she knows you aren't hanging about waiting for her she may just miss you.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
The thing is I'm really not waiting around, of course I want her back but I'm also going out and living my life, and I'm not pushing her, I told her to do what she feels is right and to take her time and that's there's no one rushing her
GOOD!! You are doing the right thing then. It is now up to her. Out of your hands.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
Ok, thanks again for your advice and for your help. You're a great person for helping people like this.
Thanks
My pleasure , and I hope it all works out good for you. Keep us posted.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
Or if your having a bad day just come on and vent. You'd be surprised how much it helps :-)
Thanks again
How I envy you and the fact it was only 2 months with this girl. I have a similar story, but we were almost a year and she left me for someone else. She said all the 'im not sure what I want' and also said she thought she wanted to come back to me, but alas. We lived together as well so man did it suck (and still sucks 3+ months later).
Find comfort in the fact that you will be able to get over her, and more quick than most of the people posting here. There is no way you actually 'knew' this girl after only 2 months of dating, and she is showing her true side now.
We may have only dated for 2 months but we have been friends for 4 years
Best way to help her make her decision, is disappearing. We usually want back what we have lost.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
you were friends for 4 years, and it seems like the friendship worked better, don't you think so? I can imagine, you forgot the part "friends too" in the relation, and you went into it too seriously and a little bit more dependent on her. Now, what is a relation at all? Is a more deeper friendship, + the element intimacy. But the base is the friendship. And that's how should have reacted in the relation. Friendship, romance, intimacy, fun=relation.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
The thing is that I want to be more than "just friends" with her. I really care about her.
The thing is that you are not used to lose and you are feeling lonely. Yes, you care, we all care about someone, even about our friends. And you can care of her, also as a friend, a really good friend. Why don't you accept it?Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
You might have to accept the fact that she doesn't want anything more than friendship with you. Do you want to risk losing that to push the dating? Because you will lose the friendship (if its not gone already). It could also make it 10x more awkward if you have mutual friends.
As nice as it would be, you can't make someone like you or want to be with you. Your initial question was for advice on how to move on and get over the breakup, but it really doesn't seem like that is your goal.
My goal was to get back together, then to move on, then to get back together, but now its to move on, I'm done waiting for her to make her decision so I'm just going to accept the fact that were just going to be friends like you guys said I should.
I can guarantee you are going to be friends with her, because you still have some hopes, you can make it work. YOU can't make it work, whatever you do. Try to tell yourself this! You can do nothing, but take care of yourself. If she will be free someday, and in the same time have some crushes on you (here is your part of helping her to got the crushes), she may come to you. Otherwise, it will be like that, friends. Can you deal with it ? Being friends, but without false hopes ? I tell you a little story of mine. Yes, it may happen, but depends. Before 7 years I told a girl-friend of mine, my hidden feelings toward her, but in somehow I knew it won't work, as it was LDR and there were not so much ways of contact. Anyway, it didn't worked out, but we still remained friendly, and after I came back we spoke to each other. 1 year went by, and now was her turn. She began to like me, but in the same time was her turn to go out of town. Anyway, its another story that. Out of sudden, she even sent me a message one night (after 4 years my proposition), telling me she liked me and so on... booooo. Anyway, we came in relation, but in somehow it was not meant to be. Anyway. I was just saying that yes, it may work, but it depends on them, not you. They go, and they come, you just can't do nothgin but move on with your own life.Quote:
Originally Posted by schwartzyms
Yea I understand now, cause this relationship was a LDR also
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