Ok, here we go everyone...

I just got off the phone from my exwife, she wanted to talk to me about something that had been bothering her for a few weeks ever since I told her my exgf knew that I had called my exwife to go off about how happy every should feel now that she had brokenup with me. Come to find out... My exgf has been masking a bogus person and emailing my exwife for 3 years, 3 YEARS! They have been email friends for 3 years. My exwife had no idea, this girl had contacted her to spy on our marriage back when we were married. Then continued to talk to her after we got divorced. My exwife considered her a close friend even though she had never met her. Just were email pals through this mary kay makeup stuff and became friends. My exwife had told her personal details about everything about us and her life. Even now, she has still been in contact with her after we have been broken up for 3 months.? Am I just that stupid?? How could I have been so taken?? The reason my exwife has been bothered for a few weeks is because I told her that my exgf had called 3 days after I had talked to my exwife and knew I had called her. There was NO WAY for my exgf to know since my exwife only told like her mom and dad and her best friend and this email pal, just those people. What a lying crap thing to do to someone. I am so disgusted, how could I have been so wrong. I really loved this woman, and wanted to marry this person. I sacraficed my marriage, friends, respect, etc... just to be with her. I can't even believe she could be so cruel. I am such a STUPID MF!! This is how mean people can be. I can't even imagine how low I feel now. I am just about as dumb as it gets. I have been played this whole time, not even knowing it. What more can I say? I guess everyone is a lot smarter than I am. I am still in shock! This was so cruel to do to someone. I can't even believe I trusted her now.

Count your blessings that they are both ex's ---history!
Get on with your life and find someone worthwhile!
And don't tell any ex's any of your business while your at it!

OMG, this is so horrible. I feel like the biggest sucker on the face of the earth. This is too horrbile to even think of. I am such a idiot.

Hello, Im sorry that your in so much pain right now, but you need to stop beating yourself up and try to ride the pain until you get through it. The x girlfriend should never be contacted again, she seriously has issues!! and needs to be left to deal with them!! Have u told your x wife that the email friend is your x girlfriend?

Yes that was what the phone call was about today. She knows now. It hurts to think that this is how someone says they love you and want to be with you and then play you right under your nose. I am such a moron. I know I cause a lot of chaos in all that went on, but I Didn't DESERVE THIS!

I had to laugh, not to make fun of you in anyway, shape or form, but in realization that you are just like so many of us who have been suckered at one time or another.
Count your blessings is right - consider the lessons learned and be glad you are done with both of these women. Also, re-evaluate yourself in all this. Do you think your marriage would have worked if this other woman had not been in the picture or would you have just chosen another affair?

Hope you wait awhile before dating anyone! The group, Beginning Experience, is for divorced and separated adults. Mostly run through a church but it is not denominational.

International. 112 teams. Founded 1974. Support programs for divorced, widowed, separated adults and their children enabling them to work through the grief of a lost marriage.
Write:
The Beginning Experience
c/o International Ministry Center
1657 Commerce Dr.
South Bend, IN 46628
Voice: 574-283-2079 or 1-866-610-8877
Fax: 574-283-0287
Website: Beginning Experience

The Beginning Experience
Beginning Experience

While I advocate the Beginning Experience group, there are other such support groups available. I hope you find one and attend, even if it is only to find out what they do and the help they offer.

It's not you they will call stupid. They will use that and several other words to describe your X-G-F. This kind of activity demonstrates some pathology and now or later she'll need help. The title for your next book should be; "Francis and the Talking Voyeur."

PS Does this Voyeur have thunder thighs? Does she drive a pink Cad. Does her breath remind you of Mexico City in mid summer? Does she wear fake toe nails? Does she color her hair? Does she have zits? Does she drink filtered water? Does she giggle? Does she chew gum? Does she drive an American car? Does she own a small fluffy dog? Is she on meds? Would you say she's Cute, Handsome or Slug face Ugly? I'll bet when she was born the doctor slapped her mother for having such an ugly little twink. I'll bet she passes silent air-biscuits on a regular basis and then looks at everyone else.

Hope this helps to shrink the word STUPID you've branded yourself with.

It is very difficult to understand peoples motives in wanting to hurt others, especially (as you said) people who say they love you and whom you love. So there is really no point in trying to translate their actions, that only makes sense in their heads and by giving them opportunity to explain or show some remorse you will end up getting even more hurt and confused... so although hard you need to leave the x girlfriend and her bloody cat!! Change your number if you don't have enough self restarint to ignore her calls!! But you need to lock her off... is she going to start emailing your parents and your boss? I mean she crossed the line and now she needs to get locked off!!

Did I say locked off too many times (",) lol

I will say this, do you understand now how you ex wife felt about your affair?

Quote:

---

I will say this, do you understand now how you ex wife felt about your affair?

---

Yes I do understand, I still feel guilty. I am so hurt with everything!! I feel like such a waste.

Feeling guilty is understandable but the main thing is that you learned the shoe does fit the other foot. A very painful lesson but we all go through some kind of fire in our lives that brings us out into a better understanding. See how much insight you gained through all this. I have no doubt believing you are not going to repeat history. Wishing you the best. And quit beating yourself up. Forgive yourself, which I know is tough - we can forgive others much easier than we can our own mistakes.

Hey hey, been watching you from when you came to this website until now, I must say that I'm sorry for hearing this BUT BUT BUT... isn't this a very good and perfect reason for you to kick her out of your life forever??

You should laugh aloud, thanks God you found out and from now on, she is forever gone!

Hehehe good luck!

Diamondstar this is definitely some f'd up stuff. It also makes me want to cry because I know how hard it is to wonder if any part of your relationship was real. I spent 7 yrs with a man that seemed to adore me and then walk out the door and started a new life with someone else within days of leaving. Now I have to question if any of it was real and if it was when did it become not real anymore. What does that say about my judgement of people and if I couldn't see it then how will I know if someone else is not being real. He shattered my whole belief in my own judge of character. So not only do I not trust anyone anymore I can't even trust myself. So I do know what this is making you feel like.

It is something that is real hard to swallow, I am so freaked out. How could I have been so stupid? I can't even bring myself to say anything to her about it. My exwife is going crazy. She got another email, this time from my exgf saying how she is not this girl and my exwife has some nerve that she could be so full of herself to think that she would stalk her for 3 years. What a crock of sh%t! I know for sure it is her, I read some of the emails and I know her dialog. Plus I know its her, it makes so much more since now. I just really thought we loved each other. Now wonder the relationship was not working. She was spying on me trying to see if I was lying about talking to my exwife by actually talking to my exwife. What a horrible thing to do to someone. My exwife really befriended this person online and through email. She is a victum here, I am so upset for her. She didn't deserve this. My exwife told her personal details of everything she was feeling for years, about me, her life and other people she had been dating. Just like one of you girls would talk to a close friend. I had no idea, I am trying to move forward with our life, meaning my exgf and myself together, and here she is being shady and low by not living our life. She is obsessing about my exwife. What a bunch of crap. I don't know what to say. I am at a loss for words. How could I have been so wrong about someone that I care for soooooo much? How could she do this to me? Knowing how much pain it caused and how much I went through? She has no soul and is a horrible awful person. I just feel so used and played like a fool. She has even talked to me a few times about this breakup and how she misses me and loves me and wishes things were not so complicated.? I am so disturbed with how she could actually say that to me and be lying about everything to my face after I gave up everything I was so we could be together? I really loved her and wanted to make a go of it. Now I feel like it was just all a joke and she was getting a BIG laugh at my expense and my exwifes expense. I feel very sorry for my exwife she didn't deserve that. I just don't know what to think now... Or what to do?? This has completely changed me inside again. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I am only human, I am reaching my breaking point.

I know people like this who like to play games with other peoples lives. They tell them exactly what they need to hear. Then manipulate them in such a way that the guy always falls head over heels beofre they get dumped on. I think these girls get some sort of power rush or self gratification out of it.

Oh well, you should never cheat or play games.

I am sorry for the pain you are going through but I think you are just reaping what you sowed. You were a cheating husband and now it has back fired. You should have concentrated on the woman whom you vowed to honor and commit too. So the fact that you didn't shows that you are a man with very little intregrity. You made a fool of your marriage and now you are the one who has been fooled. You ask how can someone be so cruel, but you were cruel to your wife by sneaking around with your ex. Now your cruelty is just coming back to bite you. Karma is real. I life you pay for every wrong thing you do. I know I am being a bit harsh but that's reality for you. I hope you learn from your mistakes and if you are blessed with another wife in the future you can be truthful and keep your vow.

"I am trying to move forward with our life, meaning my exgf and myself together,"

Those are your words - does this mean you are still with this psycho drama biotch?

Hang on a minute...
my exwife has some nerve that she could be so full of herself to think that she would stalk her for 3 years. What a crock of sh%t! I know for sure it is her, I read some of the emails and I know her dialog. Plus I know its her, it makes so much more since now.
This is a contradiction, your poor long suffering xwife (to whom you bought your xgf/current girlfriend to) is right as you have just said you are convinced it is your girlfriend who is emailing your xwife.
I find it difficult to de-code your posts!! And only now have realised that you cheated on your wife with this mad person who you still want to be with?. I think you and her need some sort of therapy and you should both leave your x wife alone. Was cheating on her with your current not enough?? Do you want her to have a nervous breakdown?? Will that then be enough?? You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, try to put yourself in your x wife's shoes and then feel some sort of remorse and empathy instead of being selfish!! I am sorry to be so blunt but this is ridiculous!!

Quote:

---

Those are your words - does this mean you are still with this psycho drama biotch?

---

No we broke up, this is crazy stuff that I just found out about. I want nothing to do with her!

Quote:

---

kiki_doki

---

Quote:

---

This is a contradiction, your poor long suffering xwife (to whom you bought your xgf/current girlfriend to) is right as you have just said you are convinced it is your girlfriend who is emailing your xwife.

---

You took that wrong. I was talking in her person, like she thinks my exwife has some nerve. I completely %100 agree with my exwife on this. I did not know this was going on. I am overwhelmed with anger that someone could be so shady and mean and cruel right under my nose. I am sorry you judge me about how I have done things with this. I never meant to hurt anyone. I do feel for my exwife, she didn't deserve this. It was not my fault, I had no idea she was being spied on. I am as shocked as anyone. Thanks for trying to make me feel even worse for knowing how horrible this is.

I misread or misunderstood what you were saying and my words were not meant to further add to your pain... believe me. I thought u were still with this crazy person who seems to have no boundaries!! And as well as "stealing you away from your wife" (I know it takes two but just go with me) she is now adding insult to injury and making the whole situation very painful... I can only look to my (over used) saying: lock her off. I would love to shake your xgf back to her senses! You need to suggest to your wife that she totally ignores this woman as well as you doing it to, this wall of silence will hopefully bring this whole situation to an end so that your wife and you can begin to move on!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Diamondstar03

Ok, here we go everyone.....

I just got off the phone from my ex wife, she wanted to talk to me about something that had been bothering her for a few weeks ever since I told her my ex gf knew that I had called my ex wife to go off about how happy every should feel now that she had broken up with me. Come to find out......My ex gf has been masking a bogus person and emailing my ex wife for 3 years, 3 YEARS! They have been email friends for 3 years. My ex wife had no idea, this girl had contacted her to spy on our marriage back when we were married. Then continued to talk to her after we got divorced. My ex wife considered her a close friend even though she had never met her. Just were email pals through this Mary Kay makeup stuff and became friends. My ex wife had told her personal details about everything about us and her life. Even now, she has still been in contact with her after we have been broken up for 3 months. ????? Am I just that stupid?????? How could I have been so taken?????? The reason my ex wife has been bothered for a few weeks is because I told her that my ex gf had called 3 days after I had talked to my ex wife and knew I had called her. There was NO WAY for my ex gf to know since my ex wife only told like her mom and dad and her best friend and this email pal, just those people. What a lying crap thing to do to someone. I am so disgusted, how could I have been so wrong. I really loved this woman, and wanted to marry this person. I sacrificed my marriage, friends, respect, etc... just to be with her. I can't even believe she could be so cruel. I am such a STUPID MF!!!!!!! This is how mean people can be. I can't even imagine how low I feel now. I am just about as dumb as it gets. I have been played this whole time, not even knowing it. What more can I say? I guess everyone is a lot smarter than I am. I am still in shock! This was so cruel to do to someone. I can't even believe I trusted her now.

---

You say you loved her so much yet when you divorce your wife, you kept her hanging on for two years. You cheated on your wife and your girlfriend has been emailing her. You both were doing some pretty low things. Get over it.

Quote:

---

You say you loved her so much yet when you divorce your wife, you kept her hanging on for two years. You cheated on your wife and your girlfriend has been emailing her. You both were doing some pretty low things. Get over it.

---

I didn't really keep her hanging on for 2 years ,I wanted us to heal and explore being together without the drama of being sneaky and cheating. I already feel bad enough... Man I seem to really bring out the worst words from some people. I am sorry you think I am so horrible. I am a good person, please don't judge me like that please. Just am hurting and shocked. Can't believe what I keep finding out. Very painful!!

Hi Diamond
First of all let me say I feel sorry for your pain , no-one deserves to go through this but hey that's life and we all just have to cope as best we can and try and at least learn from it and become a better person.
I have read through this a couple of times now and it seems you are being crucified a little for cheating on your Ex wife. I actually can't really see in any of your posts where you actually have stated the circumstances of that ie: did you cheat with this new woman while you were still married etc. maybe if you could give us a bit of history on that it would help us to understand the situation a bit better.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Diamondstar03

I didnt really keep her hanging on for 2 years ,I wanted us to heal and explore being together without the drama of being sneaky and cheating. I already feel bad enough... Man I seem to really bring out the worst words from some people. I am sorry you think I am so horrible. I am a good person, please dont judge me like that please. Just am hurting and shocked. Can't believe what I keep finding out. Very painful!!!!!

---

I'm not saying you're a horrible person, and I do feel for you, I'm not judging you either. This s Karma, so get over it and move on. Being angry and hurt is not going to change things. Learn from the experience and move on.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Hi Diamond
First of all let me say I feel sorry for your pain , no-one deserves to go through this but hey thats life and we all just have to cope as best we can and try and at least learn from it and become a better person.
I have read through this a couple of times now and it seems you are being crucified a little for cheating on your Ex wife. I actually can't really see in any of your posts where you actually have stated the circumstances of that ie: did you cheat with this new woman while you were still married etc. maybe if you could give us a bit of history on that it would help us to understand the situation a bit better.

---

He had another post. He did cheat on his wife with this woman, got a divorce and then two years later this woman left him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

He had another post. He did cheat on his wife with this woman, got a divorce and then two years later this woman left him.

---

Thanks Homegirl
I haven't read the other post so thought I was going loopy cause I couldn't find anything here :-)

Yes I cheated! I guess I am getting what I deserve then. Seems like I have been posting for the wrong reasons. I am hurting again pretty bad. This has been like this for me for 3 1/2 months. Guess I can't get over it. Plus it seems that since I am the one who cheated I get slammed by certain people. I was coming here for some help and understanding. Sorry I am a cheater. I guess I will not whine anymore about how much I am hurting. Seems everything I believed in and wanted is gone. Just so you all know, I did love this woman. I would not have done this unless I did love her. She has completely deceived me. So I guess your right I am getting karma back on me. Sorry to be such a bother. I guess I will deal with my pain alone instead of being bashed once again for my bad behavior. Sorry to waste everyone's time to read about how much I hurt.

Hi Diamond
First of all let me say I honestly don't have any sympathy for cheaters because I have been on the receiveing end. And yes Karma seems to have caught up with you.

Having said that you do seem genuinely remorseful for your cheating and look , to be fair we all make mistakes. I think the people on here who have given you a bit of a kick up the butt have their reasons and to be honest I suppose you can't blame them.

But I still believe you deserve a few ears to listen to you and to have somewhere to vent because what you are going through now is just s**t. Well I'm happy to listen and give you my 2 bobs worth so don't leave , I'm sure some of the others will sympathise with you as well.

I feel for you too, I'm sorry you're hurting. I guess you should be thankful that you didn't marry this woman. But you do need to get past the anger so you can move on. 3 1/ months is not a lot of time, you will get better though. Try not to dwell on this.

Diamondstar, I'm not sure you're going to see this because after the bashing you've taken you might not be back, BUT here's my 2 cents. I am not a fan of cheaters I mean my ex left me for someone else so I know how deeply it can hurt to have the one you love leave for another. That being said it has been a couple years now and it seems as though both you and your ex wife were moving on in your lifes. The thing I noticed in your posts is you genuinly seem upset about the fact that this woman played your ex wife. It's not like you came here to get complete sympathy for yourself. You mentioned several times that your ex wife didn't deserve this and I think you really mean that. It says to me that you still care enough about her that having this woman trick her like this is very upsetting to you. One thing you can count on is karma is a bi!@$. And even though its biting you in the butt right now, rest assured your ex girlfriend will get her bite in the butt in due time.

Wouldn't normal people say something like when they first found out?

Hey everyone, just wanted to say I understand everyone's problem with someone who cheats. I have already had to deal with this for years on end. Just hard to hear it all over again especially when I am going through this twice. I can't believe I was so blind. I didn't want all of you to show me A lot of sympathy, but also didn't want to be blasted for being a cheater. I know I was wrong. Just wanted some insights to why this has happened to me, I mean why go through all the trouble to stay with someone for so long while they were married, deal with that for years. Then finally get the situation to where its just the 2 of you, then still be untrusting and shady? I just guess I got taken, seems I am too gulible for words. I am just so hurt. Thank you to everyone who replyed and showed me some sensitivity. I really appreciate, and I am sorry to all I have offended by being a low down cheater looking for sympathy.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Diamondstar03

Hey everyone, just wanted to say I understand everyone's problem with someone who cheats. I have already had to deal with this for years on end. Just hard to hear it all over again especially when I am going through this twice. I can't believe I was so blind. I didnt want all of you to show me ALOT of sympathy, but also didnt want to be blasted for being a cheater. I know I was wrong. Just wanted some insights to why this has happened to me, I mean why go through all the trouble to stay with someone for so long while they were married, deal with that for years. Then finally get the situation to where its just the 2 of you, then still be untrusting and shady? I just guess I got taken, seems I am too gulible for words. I am just so hurt. Thankyou to everyone who replyed and showed me some sensitivity. I really appreciate, and I am sorry to all I have offended by being a low down cheater looking for sympathy.

---

Ok so now you have been blasted lets keep helping you try to get through this. Please keep posting and venting , it actually feels good just to get it out of your head right.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Ok so now you have been blasted lets keep helping you try to get through this. Please keep posting and venting , it actually feels good just to get it out of your head right.

---

I agree with friend4u, PAIN is PAIN and we're all going through it. Venting is really helpful and we want you to keep coming back.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MissingHim2Much

I agree with friend4u, PAIN is PAIN and we're all going through it. Venting is really helpful and we want you to keep coming back.

---

Thanks Missing... hope your doing well!!