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Hi everyone, My ex left me a little over a month ago and I found out he was seeing this sluttish girl. Well I found out last week he moved in with her about 3-4 weeks ago. 2 days ago he started calling me. I didn't answer the phone so today I got a dozen roses delivered and on the card it read, I'm sorry for the mistakes I've made, being with her, living with her and breaking your heart. I love you so much but didn't realise it then. Please forgive me, and Please marry me.
OMG are you seriouse!!
Do not get back with him he'll think he can do it time and time again
Trust me I've given one to many chances and they just take advantage of it
But what if he's for real??
Wow, good for you... but do still want him back?Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ1963
If he is really sincere and you still love him so much then try getting back together...
He left you and now this slut has probably been rooting around on him and he has realised she has another guy so he decides to run back to old reliable who is still waiting for him on hands and knees. He treated you like a dog and left , he had no feelings or took your feelings into consideration. I could underrstand if he needed some time to evaluate the relationship but to just hook up and move in with some girl , well if he really thought you were the one then he would not have gone to another. Dou you want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who chos se someone else over you then found out they wernt that great. His only coming baclk so he doesn't have to be on his own. She has probably been out rooting around and he only wants you back for security... If he did it once he will do it again. If he really wanted to marry you he wouldn't have done this in the first place...
My best friend did something like your ex. He was dating this wonderful girl, one I think he should have been with forever. But anyway, he was even more crazy than your ex. He went on a vacation for about two weeks, met some chick at a bar, "fell in love with her" and came back from his vacation and broke it off with the girl he should have stayed with. Anyway, all of us told him he was absolutely absurd. I still tell him that he let his wife get away and lost her forever.
Anyway, the girl he met while he was on vacation dumped him on NYE for some guy she met at a club or something. My best friend started dating the girl that he broke up with and they became a couple again. It ended in disaster two months later. He broke it off. His actions had made her so paranoid about his ability to stay faithful, she literally lost her mind worrying about if he would leave her again. Anyway, they finally broke up.
She has now happily moved on and is dating someone new who she may end up marrying. My best friend is single, and is definitely sad that he made that relationship go down the drain.
He is my best friend, but if I were a woman, I would never date him. He is selfish, clueless, and hurtful. But he is still my best friend, he is just flawed when it comes to relationships.
Your ex reminds me of my best friend. I'd move on. I don't think you'll ever be able to trust him fully again.
--Cali
One attorney, one marriage contract agreement, one wedding and maybe one happy couple. Be sure both parties sign the contract. Good luck.
I say leave him to his slut!
Eww run! Thαts αll I hαve to sαy
Do you want him back? Who knows what he will bring back to you being he has been roaming for a while...
Hun he isn't for real his saying this beacause he wants you back!!
And he may be thinking if his really nice to you askes you to marry him you'd think he was being seriouse chances are yous get back together you'll never here that question and hill leave you again. Trust me they honestly think if they do it once they can do it again its like oh yeah cool she's taken me back I can do it again and she'll still take me back...
In the end can't hurt giving him another go. He may break your heart again. You may be just too scared to find some decent guy who will love you forever and not cheat on you. Why would he go on holidays and cheat will you ever trust him again!?
How hard will it be kowing he met another cjhick at a bar and could so easily toss you aside...
I think you will go back to him... WEAk...
All girls are weak get a spine and dump this jerk1!!
Even better get him back give him a night to remember. Get him over put on some sexy clothes give him a hughe blow job. Then in the morning get up and tell him YOUR not the one I want to marry its best if we go our own way, I deserve a better guy and I know I will find one! Br Build him up and then break his heart REVENGE is SWEET
He probably realized that the grass was not greener in the other yard, but I would not trust him to not go sniffing in another yard again. He blew it.
Look at it this way, not only did he leave you, but he moved in with the girl. This was not a little fling.
Take him back if you want, (I wouldn't) but if he strays again, you more or less told him he can and then come back if things don't work.
Saraspiel there is nothing wrong with a bit of revenge, you just need to lighten up. Hell she's thinking about taking him back after his been bending some HO over so she has no self respect anyway so she may as well do it...
Look at it this way he will come back and start bending her over and while there at it if she is taking this creep back why noit invite the other Ho over and he caan do both of them and then she may realise what kind of a jerk off she is going to spend her life with...
I agree with everyone on here.
What is to stop him from doing this again? Did he leave you for this other girl? How long were you two together? How old are both of you?
My guess is that he will be a "grass is greener" guy unless he seeks professional help to help him understand what is wrong with him that he cannot be satisfied with what he has. You realize that marriage does not stop people from cheating and if this is who he is then it will just a pattern.
You're showing your angry, bitter and twisted side mac. You've been hurt by women and you think the answer is games and revenge. It's a sad and lonely world if you live with that bitterness.Quote:
Originally Posted by mckenzie134
We all agree that he isn't worth getting back with, even you do, but there is no need to go on like that to the poster.
Revenge actually shows how weak you are mac. You are weak if you think revenge is worthwhile. And it shows what a loser you are with no life that you can't move onto, instead being hung up and angry with someone from the past. Get over it and move on!
Well i suppose i am a bit bitter on occasions i have every right to be sick of being walked on my these uncaring females, about time they get there own back. There all sweet and innocent when nothing goes right for them. Maybe she wasn't giving him enough satisfaction in the bedroom, im just trying to let her know where she may have gone wrong. He might like a biit more spiced up action which he got from the new ho.
All said and done she will ba taking him back im 99% sure of this. The poster came here asking for advice and has been toild on numerous occasions not to take hoim back but you are all wasting your time cause we all know she is going to take the jerk back... why doesn't she come back here oin a week times and let us know what is going on heel she may as well just tell us right now i reckon she has already takken him back. Id have my money on he willhave her pants around her anklles tonight! Where has the poster gone is this correct have you taken him back!!
Perhaps its you mac. If you keep getting walked on perhaps the problem is the women you choose. Perhaps you are too keen to choose a women who is quick to drop her panties for you instead of actually getting to know them.
OH MY GOD!! And that's all I have to say about that.
Hey Mac, why the hell are you so pissed off at her? She has done nothing to you. Hey I'm sorry you've been treated so bad in your relationships but if she takes him back or not I can't see how that would effect you in any way, shape or form.
Just giving my opinion ithought that's what she wanted.
She is on here asking for advice to a question which she already has the answer too...
She is taking him back and she already has most likely...
Not enough love in the world to take back a guy who has be bending over the town HO
!! What is everyoine going to think of her now!! Just giving my input you and her can take it whichever way you like. She will be back with him in a week and probably back on here within 4 months complaining or maybe infected with some ho virus!!
Glad I could be of assistance in this case!!
Im still waiting to hear what the result of this is what was the outcome? Please advicse us all DJ thanks...
Look mac, you have a right to your opinion, that being said I think you're taking this a little bit personally, She hasn't even said she was going to forgive him and take him back. She was just relaying what had happened with the roses. But I think if you look back at some other peoples posts that in most cases they are very hurt in the beginning and they all wanted their ex's back at first. It takes time to be strong enough to say no to the person you love and have shared many years with. It has nothing to do with backbone it is just raw emotions talking and I think pretty much all of us have been there. And if you didn't feel that way in the first few weeks then maybe you weren't in love with that person to begin with.
Mckenzie, for your information I haven't had any contact with my ex. I haven't answered his calls or responded to the roses or the purposal. I can see that you are sure fired up about it though. It almost seems as though your heart is on the line here instead of mine. I haven't even came close to forgiving him for "Bending over the town HO" as you so tastefully put it. And as for saying I should invite her over so he could bend us both was a FUK'd up thing to say. IF and I say IF I take him back that's my call and not yours. And yes I did come here to ask advice, BUT I asked advice from relationship experts, NOT YOU!! If I ever need advice on how to hate women you will be the first one I call. After all aren't you the President of the He Man Women Haters Club? One more thing if you hate women so much have you ever considered the fact that you may be GAY?Quote:
Originally Posted by mckenzie134
What is going on here? These posts do not sound like you at all mckenzie. This is beyond crude and extremely inappropriate.
Sounds like somebody is having a bad day.
I agree GlindaofOz, I'm not sure what set him off here. But I don't think I deserve his rude comments.Quote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
Heck no Honey! You sure do not.
Without a doubt you never said you were going to go crawling back. You clearly just needed to get some perspective with the help of other people - nothing wrong with that.
Thank you GlindaofOz, I don't think I could ever take him back. I just want to know how do I forget what a great 5 years we had? I know his betrayal is a good start but all I can seem to remember is how great we were and how happy I was. The good seems to over shadow the bad.Quote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ1963_
To be honest fixate on the bad. Fixate on how he left you for some seriously sketchy girl and was willing to throw away everything good, wonderful and loving he had with you for some nookie. Anytime you float back to some lovely moment let the image of him kicking you to the curb for the "town bicycle" ;)
Remember you deserve someone who would not throw away 5 years for a mistake. Remember that you are a great person who has lots of love in them and deserve someone who won't run out of steam.
See GlindaofOz that's the kind of expert advice I came here for. Not the crude comments of a jaded person that only seems to be here to make people in pain feel bad about themselves Thank You!Quote:
Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
No problem. Glad to help.
My take on it is this: IF you all were soulmates, it would be done in a conversation. A request to talk. A connection that was adult-like and meaningful. The flowers are super-cool and very romantic - but he's NOT THERE....sort of metaphorical huh?
You are empty-handed.
So, if you were to say yes, how long would it take you to forgive him?
Could you?
Is him running off with someone else really worth it to you still?
If so, maybe a conversation is in order. Or at least a letter from him.
But roses, smell good for a week and then they...die.
Is there life left in you?
If so, and you can forgive, see what he'll do next. He will do something.
If not, a polite: "it's too late for roses" is probably in order.
Sounds like you still love him in some way, but pretty disenchanted. And rightfully so!!
I know this is all real tough.
Hang in there!
What comes around goes around comes around goes around..
I'm waiting for the same thin gto happen to my ex, hope he gets dumped!
Good for you DJ for sticking to no contact..
A friend of mine was in a similar sitution recently after 6 year relationship, he began sleeping around and suddenly when she quit the contact he started saying he wanted to marry her.In fact she got an investigator and it turned out he was still sleeping around with a different girl every night...
She continued with no contact and blocked his phone calls , changed email , moved country..
So please keep no contact... he will repeat the same.
You need time to heal, he needs time to repair himself.
If he sent roses, he ain't done.
Sit back and really weigh this, now that you are in the driver's seat.
If I dumped a girl and I wanted her back for life I would do more than roses...
In my experience, all ex's come back if you treated them well and did a few "other things"
This is 100% predictable. The issue is YOU now... Can you love and trust him? I'd take many months to sort that one out.
Most exs cirlce back there was only a matter of time till he came to his senses. Obviously you are a wonderful irl who treated him well and he has taken you for granted. This happens when a guy is in a great relationship and no doubt he loved you but because he was so comfortable he falls into the thoughts of well I might give that a go as well. He then realises what he has given up because he no longer has it. Most humans are the same and this is the reason exs return, they did not leave a relationship they were unhappy with they left one because they were comfortable. Instead of using his brain and telling himself I have a great relationship I have been in for a while, of ourse the excitement is not going to be as high as when you guys first met but he needs to understand he has a great relatioinship. Problem is to many people don't think realistically and they think excitement and new HELL everyone likes to test drive a new car but if you already havea great one why not stop for a sec and ralisie what you are driving before you jump behind the wheel of a new one and then realise it drives pretty much the same as the old one and then aftera few test drives it lso starts to have a few fsulta and then you realise the old car with the added extras is all that you needed to be happy so you run back to the old car and realise the doors ate locked and sometimes it has a new owner. You try to get it back but its not happy you abandoned it for another. So then you want it back even more, you call the locksmith you read the manual anything to get the car back!!
He obviously realised the new one was no different but exciting to begin with but in life you want a lasting one and I suppose that's where he realises like many exs do once the excitement dies down they want to return to comfortable because they wernt thinking with there head they were just thinking theyy want something new...
It's the ones who can think beyond this ppoint and have great values and beliefs who know what they have in the first place who hold onto what they have to begin with...
I know he wants you back there is no doubt of this and let me tell you the roses are not the enfof this he will try more and more and in the end you will give it another go. Probably. 5 years is a longtime you say well he didn't think it was worth it when he left did he??
Your problem is at the moment you are feeling alone and ot as happy as you were when you were in the relationship but now you are on your own the world is looking differently you are thinking maybe I can just go back to what I new before. Maybe you can but will you be happy, what if you found someone else who would stick by you forever wouldn't that be a great life wouldn't hat be someone you can grow with someone you can trust someone you can grow old with and not resent for what they have done.
Its your choice and you may try I'm again, it may work I may not. I know one thing if you went out tomorrow and met an amazing guy and started seeing him you would wonder why you even thougt about letting the ex back but we all know it isn't that easy but its a lot easier to just go back to the reliable one...
All I have to say about that is: HOLEY CRAP!!Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ1963
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash123
Very excellent advice Ash. I agree 100%
First of all, good job with not answering his calls, that must have been tough... I think there's 2 ways to look at this... One, he's being honest and truly loves you and maybe he realized how much he wants you in his life and he made a mistake, or Two, things with the "slut" didn't work out or wasn't as good as he thought it would be and is trying to crawl back until the next "slut" comes alone, either way you should really think about what you want and if your willing to trust him again.
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