Ask Me Help Desk - Friend4u sticky comments

Friend4u sticky comments

Oh! My God! That was brilliant.

Let’s hope everyone hurting from relationship fallout reads it.

I wish you a wonderful life from here on in.

Very good post, reading this now shows how far I am in my recovery and it's been. For the newbies, it's been 7 months for me and now I'm finally getting to better place in my heart. It's taking longer because I choose to suffer and didn't take advice at first.

This is wonderful! Required reading for all who stop here.

Thank you so much for pulling this together.

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WoW, That is like a "One-Size-Fits-All" heartwarming proclamation.

I wish this could be popped up every time someone places a new post related to the subject.

Have you thought about writing a book?

Friend4U - woooooooow. This is a true masterpiece. And such a valuable post for people to turn to when they need a reminder that how they're feeling and acting in those dark desperate times is normal. Thanks so much for this.

That was a great post!! BRAVO, BRAVAAA... lol
It really made me think, as I'm sure it will others:)

Thanks all , I suppose if it helps just a few people it will be worth the read. Maybe we could add a few things if I have missed them out and I can edit it a bit. :-)

Amazing And Spot On!!

Great post, its all here!

Funny enough I didn't get thin after the breakup, instead I got fat, its only now that I'm starting to get into shape again, another reason to hate the lol

Your words speak volumes into my situation as everybody else whose ever experienced a break up or the likes! Don't know how you'd take this but you've blessed me so much with this! Food for though for realz man!

It must come from somebody who has experienced the thick and thin of that situation!

Much appreciated:):):)

Thanks Zinny , I'm glad I was able to "Bless" someone with this post :-)

Love it! Thanks so much for this. It helps me realize how far I've come : )

This wonderful piece of literature should have its own site. When people Google the words "Break-up advice" this is what they should read first. It might stop those greedy people who charge money for advice books on the subject.
I cannot praise this enough.
Thanks so much.

You absolutely nailed it.

Hi friend, sorry it took me so long to respond. I think I was afraid of it at first. It hit so close to home that I kind of ran the other way. Does that make sense? I'm still in somewhat of a denial state. And getting better still seems so far away. But it does give me hope and I do long for that day. I do read the posts on here and I see the new ones and I think that was me 5 weeks ago. I know I've made some progress (very little it seems) but some. And it's all THANKS TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU!! You are an inspiration to the broken hearted that can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks Hon

Absolutely fantastic post, one of the best I have seen on here for a long time. I and many, many others on here are proof that this is all true and that there is light at the tunnel at the end. I like this part in particular:

'It's only nanobits that it dies down by. But everyday it will get slowly better'.

That is a really precise and appropriate description of how the process works and while it is different for everyone, it takes time and time means many months, 3, 6, 9 or even 12 months. Everyone is different and there are many factors to consider in how long it takes. What amazes me about this post is the absolute truth about how it all works, the grief process and the predictability of it. That is not to say that all will follow the exact patterns but that there is some consistency in what we do and how we cope. I speak for myself and I speak in terms of what I have seen both in the real world ( so to speak) and here on AMHD (and I have been checking in long enough here to recognise the signs and symptoms).

Anyone who is confused as to whether what they are feeling or what they are doing is right or wrong should really read this post thoroughly and check back on it in say, 9 months time, when he or she is feeling more emotionally healthy.

A final point I would like to make is that you do have some control on how you grieve but you don't have full control, some of the process is what is within you and will kind of drive you through it.. Hard to really explain but it is important to realise that one has only limited control over the way he or she deals with it.

I wish all the newbies the best in their road to recovery, because that is exactly what it is.

Wonderful post... it touched my heart... I loved it all especially that part when you said
" Remember the person you were when you first met your ex and get that person back. And the universe will take care of the rest." I have been trying to get myself back but I could not am unable to... I feel like dead person... it has been 8 years now since I break up with him... I dated other people (4 guys) but it did not work... what do you think is missing?

Thank you again so much for this wonderful post.

Ms. Redrose

On chick I broke up with started a process of change that turned me into a far better and wiser person when she dumped me.
Its funny, I spent several months trying to improve myself, to fix up the shortcomings and the issues that had caused the breakup, and when I saw her again, I ended up going out with her best friend lolz
You can get hurt, dumped, cheated on, your heart broken, your spirit crushed, you can feel such despair and self hate because of that other person, but in the end, you can see all but one person, when you look back, as life experiences, teachers, practice, part of your attempt to find yourself in others. Its okay to get dumped, to break up, to get heartbroken, to get trod on, as long as you get back up and learn from the experience, as long as you get just that little bit closer to your one true love, its worth it.
Because really, in the end, a break up just narrows down your search.

Brilliant post friend4u, great to see such a smart person posting such an intelligent and useful post, that could possibly be referred to in the future for people with applicable issues in their lives.
It's a great bit of advice, one that maybe should be kept on hand to be linked for break up related questions.
Looking forward to your future posts.

I Totalllly Agreeee!

This was so well written, and to the point, I have made it a sticky, on the relationship forum, for all to read who come here.

Ahhhh Friend! Your advice to the lovelorn is the pinnacle of achievement. It should be required reading.

This is a comment for the part about getting back together and the relationship being tarnished, that is SO true! I took my b/f back after breaking up with him. He begged me for months so I gave in. Our relationship sucked and we stuck it out for a whole year that way. The only thing that kept us together was the sex, that got better and better but he treated me horribly for leaving him and seemed to punish me for it, or maybe inside just never forgave me. :-( We just broke up the other day, I finally left again. For good this time. What a waste.

When you say he begged for months? How long? How long was you togetehr sparkle?

I'm so glad this was made a sticky. That was going to be my suggestion after reading it but Tal already seen its tremendous value.

This is the best post I have seen in regards the process (and that what it is) after a break up.

Anyone who think this isn't how it works is kidding them self I think and still in denial.

So well written and spot on. It shows what a mature and well grounded person you must be friend4u. You should be proud of yourself for taking the time to offer such wonderful and heartfelt advice. Well done again!

And you're an Aussie I'm assuming.

We are the most intelligent people in the world and this just proves it! ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skell

And you an Aussie im assuming.

We are the most intelligent people in the world and this just proves it!! ;)

So... how about the asians?:confused:

We have many asians in Australia nicespringgirl. They are smart too.

For the record I was only joking... Sort of :)

I knew you were, and yes, the post is great and you guys seem like very mature persons as well.:)

P.S.I am getting better on picking up jokes in english now;)

Yes we have many pretty and intelligent Asians girls in Australia :-)

Just out of interest friend4u, where in Australia you from?

Sunny Sydney :-) And you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

This was so well written, and to the point, I have made it a sticky, on the relationship forum, for all to read who come here.

Thanks Tal I appreciate that coming from you , you helped me out a lot a few weeks ago. Can you just explain exactly what the "Sticky" thing is all about , I'm fairly new here as you know. Thanks

Just up the F3 in Newcastle.

Only up the Road ay , small world :-)

Uggghh... I feel miserable since my recent break up with my boyfriend but after reading this, at least I know I am not alone and that I am not the only one doing strange things, i.e. text messages, phone calls, emails,etc. Even thought about driving to his house and sitting on his front steps until he got home (how pathetic, huh)?

Thanks though for writing this, it did make a difference and I know time will heal but it seems like everyday life moves in SLOW MOTION! I can't wait to go to bed every day now. My time is literally my own now and sometimes I just feel so uncomfortable being alone. But maybe its all good though because I can learn more about myself and learn to create my own happiness within myself and not rely on others to do that.

Thanks again!

Be happy, be well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Thanks Tal I appreciate that coming from you , you helped me out a lot a few weeks ago. Can you just explain exactly what the "Sticky" thing is all about , I'm fairly new here as you know. Thanks

Just as I was cruising along being my wonderful self, you ask a question I can't answer and, am stuck on stupid!!! Indulge me while I find out. I do know you're the first sticky since I got here on this relationship forum, so please let that hold you until I get UNSTUCK.:eek:

Wow!!

I had to register just to thank you for this post. It was all stuff I knew from a previous relationship, but seeing it written down really helps. I was on a major downward swing yesterday and when I woke up today but reading this has fixed that.

My situation is slightly different, she was texting/phoning(or more) some guy from her work behind my back and I found out, I still miss her like hell but I know I couldn't take her back. I still go through the "i wish we could be back together" but I realize its impossible after what she did. If only the rational voice stuck around for more than an hour a day!

Stick with us here Madaman and you can get not only some great advise but also some great insight by reading other peoples posts. Why not tell us your story in your own post?