Are you girls really serious?
Is she serious?
My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. But I insisted on not giving up so I kept talking to her and we agreed to keep things at a friends level at least since that's the way we started in the first place. She agreed. We continued talking and eventually hanging out again but she felt different. We still said I love you but she didn't call me baby, or my love, or any of the little names she normally would. In time she did. But the affection wasn't there like usual. I would be the one to initiate a kiss or a hug or even sex. She did ONCE! I felt like I was giving it my 100% and she was at 90%. Last week we had an argument that got pretty heated and she got upset and decided we should not continue anymore. I tried again to talk sense into her but got nowhere. She said she was tired of guy drama and just wants to be alone. I told her that running does not fix problems, but she wasn't hearing it. She said she was confused and "not ready for all this" and just wants to be alone for now. NOw here is the thing, she has liked me since we were kids. What we had was completely different (in a good way) than any relationship we'd ever had. Never really fought, always had a great time. We talked about our future and kids and stuff like that. Both of our families completely love and approve our relationship. We have a connection and love with each other like we have never had with ANYONE ELSE EVER! While we were broken up she told me that she had seen a lot of changes in me for the good and hoped I would not go back to the old me when we got back together. That she realized how much she really loves me and wants to be with me and apologized for the hard time she had given me the last month and does not want to fight anymore but just be happy. So things were GREAT till last weeks fight. Then she decided to give up for some reason and say she just wants to be alone and not deal with any guy drama.
My question for you ladies (or guys) is, can she really go from a love for me so great that she would give me her virginity and talking about future and kids and good times and kissing and hugging and ALL those childhood feelings to saying I just want to be alone? Is she just making that decision because she is upset right now and does not like to deal with problems or is she really trying to move on? Her my space is now at single, removed me from top friends, erased our pix, and her headline says "it is the beginning of a new chapter in my life". Is she just doing that because she know id look at it? Is all this just out of anger? ANYONE out there that has gone through a similar situation? Please let me know... by the way she turned 20 in May.
Saw my Ex girlfriend yesterday.
Just to give you guys an update... Yesterday I went to my ex girlfriend house because I had to pick up a package her mom was sending to my aunt in Chicago. We have had no contact for about 2 weeks. When I walked in her whole family said hello to me and were glad to see me. She came out and gave me a hug and we sat down in the living room couch and just talked for an hour! Not about us, but just regular conversation about my vacation, and her classes, etc... we talked as if nothing was wrong and it felt great! This past Saturday her mom told her shen needed to call me to see when I was coming by for the package and she told her mom, "let ME call him", she insisted and finally did. She called me from her moms phone though, when I answered she kind of paused for a second and just said," uh, yeah we've been calling you to find out when you were gonna come by for the stuff.." I said MOnday around noon and that was that. Her mom later told me how she had insisted on calling me and that she missed me but just needed a little more time to let things settle and that she wants to be able to talk to me... so we hung out for an hour then I got up to leave and as I walked out she looked at me with a smile and said, "text me whenever"... I said "no, you!" lol... we went back and forth and then I said, "you text me or something, I'm giving you your space... she nodded in agreement and I left. I left feeling really good. At least I know she is missing me and WANTS to talk to me but just needs a bit more time. So we'll see what happens... what do you guys think? Is this a good sign or what?
Did i do the right thing!
Hey guys, I just wanted to give you an update on my "situation". Quick recap: My girlfriend and I broke up back in June, continued talking and eventually ended up back to normal if not better than before. But, that all came to an end after getting into an argument at a party which she took me to where she just basically forgot she had taken me and just sat around a bunch of people I did not know. Anyway, we "broke up" again but this time she was like, "i just dont want anymore guy drama", and "i just feel like being alone". Of course, I did all I could to salvage what was left to no avail. But she insisted we keep things as friends. As most of you know, its too difficult to go from being in love in a relationship and then try and JUST be friends, but I love her so much that I gave it a shot. She would text me every once in a while just to say hi and see how I was doing. I never contacted her, she would always text me. Sometimes we would text for a few minutes, sometimes for a couple hours just about anything. That went on for about a month 1/2 or so. Finally one morning while driving to work I text her saying, "just wanted to say i love you and miss you so much. Dont even care if you write/say it back, i just wanted to tell you." She wrote back saying "You know i'll always love you no matter what". For some reason that just lit a fire under me. I responded by saying that I know she will and so will I but I was at a crossroads where I didn't know whether to let her go or hold on to that little bit of hope and that I wish she could help me make sense of all this. She responded by saying that we should both just move on but she did not want to lose me as a friend...
This is where I just made a complete 180. I told her that she can't ride both sides of the fence like that. You can't just cross that friendship line and then decide to go back. At least not at this time. I sure many of you out there have had that one significant other tell you "let's just be friends" Doenst always work out right? Well in my case, I knew I couldn't do it because I'm still in love with her. So I told her that now that I knew what she wanted then I could do what I had to do. She said to move on so that's exactly what I intend to do. I told her that in order for me to move on I would have to cut her completely out of my life meaning NO CONTACT whatsoever!! Because there is no way I'm going to ever get over her if I'm sitting here trying to be her friend while still being in love with her. I asked her if she wanted to be friends to leave the door open for a possible opportunity to get back together in the future, or if that was just not even an option. All I needed to hear was a maybe or, we'll see what happens or, something along that line that let me know that the door was still open for something to possibly happen again. But instead her answer was to move on. So that's what I intend to do. She responded by saying that if she was as important to me as I said she was then it wouldn't be so easy to stop talking to her completely. So obviosly I struck a nerve somewhere for her to say that. I told her that this was NOT easy. Im letting the person I love the most go. That's not something you just brush off. It hurt me to have to do it but you know what, I'm just taking care of me just like she is taking care of her. She got mad and said we could have kept it cool but if that's what I wanted then fine, that she was not going to beg me for my friendship. She said " Have a great life, i wish you the best " and that was the last I heard from her. I told her one last thing. My decision wasn't made overnight, and it also wasn't permanent and that its not like I won't ever talk to her again, just till I feel like I've moved on or I'm with someone else. I told her that I'm sure we will meet again somewhere down the road after all we've been friends for 5 years and I'm not about to just forget her.
Here's the thing. I feel like I did the right thing because like I said I know I won't get over her by pretending to be friends, and she's made it clear that she wants to move on so that's what led me to my decision. It breaks my heart because I really don't know how we got here but I know its something I had to do because I just couldn't do it anymore. She would text me randomly sometimes and all that did was get me all excited and I would get my hopes up for nothing. Sometimes I would be doing fine after not hearing from her for about a week but then she would text me and I would get all sad thinking about how things USED to be. So I think by doing this I can finally get some closure and move on. Since then I've joined the gym, I bought myself a bike (Suzuki GSX-R 750 woo hoo!) and I got a couple new tattoos and just began going out with my friends a bit more and just having fun and I'm feeling great! I do still miss her once in a while but it gets a bit easier day by day, so to all you outnthere in the same situation just hang in there! Im not really that religious but I believe God will not give you more than you can handle so you'll be OK. Anyway, I'm open to any comments. Let me know what you think of my decision and if you've been in a similar one and what happened...
Did i do the right thing!
Hey guys, I just wanted to give you an update on my "situation". Quick recap: My girlfriend and I broke up back in June, continued talking and eventually ended up back to normal if not better than before. But, that all came to an end after getting into an argument at a party which she took me to where she just basically forgot she had taken me and just sat around a bunch of people I did not know. Anyway, we "broke up" again but this time she was like, "i just dont want anymore guy drama", and "i just feel like being alone". Of course, I did all I could to salvage what was left to no avail. But she insisted we keep things as friends. As most of you know, its too difficult to go from being in love in a relationship and then try and JUST be friends, but I love her so much that I gave it a shot. She would text me every once in a while just to say hi and see how I was doing. I never contacted her, she would always text me. Sometimes we would text for a few minutes, sometimes for a couple hours just about anything. That went on for about a month 1/2 or so. Finally one morning while driving to work I text her saying, "just wanted to say i love you and miss you so much. Dont even care if you write/say it back, i just wanted to tell you." She wrote back saying "You know i'll always love you no matter what". For some reason that just lit a fire under me. I responded by saying that I know she will and so will I but I was at a crossroads where I didn't know whether to let her go or hold on to that little bit of hope and that I wish she could help me make sense of all this. She responded by saying that we should both just move on but she did not want to lose me as a friend...
This is where I just made a complete 180. I told her that she can't ride both sides of the fence like that. You can't just cross that friendship line and then decide to go back. At least not at this time. I sure many of you out there have had that one significant other tell you "let's just be friends" Doenst always work out right? Well in my case, I knew I couldn't do it because I'm still in love with her. So I told her that now that I knew what she wanted then I could do what I had to do. She said to move on so that's exactly what I intend to do. I told her that in order for me to move on I would have to cut her completely out of my life meaning NO CONTACT whatsoever!! Because there is no way I'm going to ever get over her if I'm sitting here trying to be her friend while still being in love with her. I asked her if she wanted to be friends to leave the door open for a possible opportunity to get back together in the future, or if that was just not even an option. All I needed to hear was a maybe or, we'll see what happens or, something along that line that let me know that the door was still open for something to possibly happen again. But instead her answer was to move on. So that's what I intend to do. She responded by saying that if she was as important to me as I said she was then it wouldn't be so easy to stop talking to her completely. So obviosly I struck a nerve somewhere for her to say that. I told her that this was NOT easy. Im letting the person I love the most go. That's not something you just brush off. It hurt me to have to do it but you know what, I'm just taking care of me just like she is taking care of her. She got mad and said we could have kept it cool but if that's what I wanted then fine, that she was not going to beg me for my friendship. She said " Have a great life, i wish you the best " and that was the last I heard from her. I told her one last thing. My decision wasn't made overnight, and it also wasn't permanent and that its not like I won't ever talk to her again, just till I feel like I've moved on or I'm with someone else. I told her that I'm sure we will meet again somewhere down the road after all we've been friends for 5 years and I'm not about to just forget her. But I DO feel like I need this time of no contact in order to move on with my life.
Here's the thing. I feel like I did the right thing because like I said I know I won't get over her by pretending to be friends, and she's made it clear that she wants to move on so that's what led me to my decision. It breaks my heart because I really don't know how we got here but I know its something I had to do because I just couldn't do it anymore. She would text me randomly sometimes and all that did was get me all excited and I would get my hopes up for nothing. Sometimes I would be doing fine after not hearing from her for about a week but then she would text me and I would get all sad thinking about how things USED to be. So I think by doing this I can finally get some closure and move on. Since then I've joined the gym, I bought myself a bike (Suzuki GSX-R 750 woo hoo!) and I got a couple new tattoos and just began going out with my friends a bit more and just having fun and I'm feeling great! I do still miss her once in a while but it gets a bit easier day by day, so to all you outnthere in the same situation just hang in there! Im not really that religious but I believe God will not give you more than you can handle so you'll be OK. Anyway, I'm open to any comments. Let me know what you think of my decision and if you've been in a similar one and what happened...