I still miss my ex, she called me last Tuesday and we had a pretty good conversation. She ended it with saying "Call me sometime". I was just on vacation from Thurs-Sun. Think I should call? Email? Or keep the NC going?
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I still miss my ex, she called me last Tuesday and we had a pretty good conversation. She ended it with saying "Call me sometime". I was just on vacation from Thurs-Sun. Think I should call? Email? Or keep the NC going?
Did you answer?? Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't answer!! Call her back a few days later - you're a busy guy now.
DO NOT contact her for now. WAIT a couple months. Date.
DO NOT CALL!! DO NOT!! DO NOT!!
E-mail her in 2 months and KEEP IT LIGHT!! "Hey, how's it going? I wanted to make sure you were doing OK? Anyway, take care"
No tough questions after that!! None!! Ok?
Seriously. Don't call for at least a month. I don't know who broke up with who or how long you've been apart, but don't call and stay busy. For now that is the plan.
I am quite sure she left him.
Yes - weird thing was she already called just a little over a week after it happened.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
They will ABSOLUTELY always do that. Guaranteed. You shouldn't have answered or really even returned the call - you want her to re-gain feelings for you - she would wonder. You WOULD NOT have been acting needy or desperate.
I know it SEEMS like a bad thing not to answer or return a call - but, NOPE - this is how these things work. You can't let her check up on you any time she sees fit.
I know all this sounds weird - but woman DO not think like men. Remember this always - they generally go by their feelings - there is no logic.
By playing hard to get, unavailable, busy, dating others... she just might realize she doesn't have you. You become a challenge again. These aren't games.
BUT, what happened? Were you to available - too nice - too needy?
I think I became to available and know longer a challenge. The first few months I did well and had the whole 'do not care attitude'. Then I guess I crashed and burned and I could tell there was less attraction on her part and interest. When she called me I did not act desperate or needy. In fact I laughed pretty much the whole time and sounded normal again like I was during the first part of the relationship. I know she will contact me again at some point and I will keep your advice in my head. ThanksQuote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
That's the key - she WANTS mostly the guy when you first met. Get that BACK = 'do not care attitude' - woman love it.
Here is the crux in the matter - as a guy you start getting feelings for her and you mess everything up - we THINK we shuld be so super nice and do everythng for them. Woman HATE that. I think there is some flaw that they feel they can't be themselves and go through ALL their emotions they go through - they feel like they can't be a wench when they want to be. For some reason they are worried the ymight hurt us - which never has happened to me.
WE think that being super is the key to their hearts... nope.
Heh man trust me from someone who is a woman and seen these things happen and even done it a couple of times... if you were good to her then of course she is going to want you back.. I can't get rid of all my fiancés ex girlfriends always sending text messages saying how much they miss him etc.. but they all had moved on so why would they want him now?? to play him sucka again.. be careful.. the girl hurt you once are you sure you want to play with fire?hurt me once shame on you hurt me twice shame on me.
Yup your right, she was a handful let me tell you with baggage to boot. I was just very physically attracted to her.Quote:
Originally Posted by lickemlolly
Well, when he does get her back he is going to know HOW to behave properly.
I DO advise reading EVERY Dating article at:
www.askmen.com - ESPECIALLY DOC LOVE.
Go to www.sosuave.com and read EVERY article.
These websire is great, but a little more mature and serious: www.relationships.blog-city.com - learn about nice guys and jerks. Don't become a jerk, but learn what jerks do to make woman go crazy.
How old was she - what type of baggage if I may ask? I may have some insite.
For the next month you NEED TO WORK ON YOU!! Learn about woman's tests, what causes attraction, how to tease, not to bore, be independent, become a leader, be unavailable sometimes, etc.
He's going to learn not to be so nice. Not play her games. NOT buy her things - especially expensive dinners etc all the time.
YOU NEED to be the prize - NOT HER.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
She was 28, I am 24, she had 2 kid's... I really didn't mind though because I fell in love with her. I read a lot of the articles on sosuave.com. Good stuff thanks :)
Hmmmmmmmm - that's interesting, usually a woman with kids enjoys the extra attention.
Was she recently divorced - at least last year, or year and 1/2? - unfortunately it could be a 'rebound' relationship. Divorcées go through these - it takes them 3 or 4 short relationships to get their heads on straight.
See - "I feel in love with her" - kind of bad for business as well - did you share your feelings? Any woman RUNS when you share your feelings too soon.
1. You need to learn to stop being a nice guy.
2.You can NEVER convince a woman to like you - NEVER. You just have to be there, be funny etc.
3. Never look for her approval on anything - YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE DECISIONS. YOU DECIDE WHERE YOU GO FOR DINNER. We guys think we are doing the right thing and asking if we can do something or ask whre SHE wants to go to dinner - you make the decisions!! You're the MAN!!
4. Don't buy her affection - keep gifts and fancy meals few and far between - especially early.
5. Sharing TOO EARLY HOW YOU FEEL - WOMAN HATE THIS!! It repulses them.
6. Learn HOW attraction works in woman. Being a needy-wuss us NOT it. Go to www.doubleyourdating.com - buy the book - get the e-mail.
7. Think it takes money, looks to get woman - NO WAY. It's how you make them FEEL!!
8. Giving away ALL your power to a woman - they HATE that!! Meaning you never make decisions. DOING WHAT EVER THE WOMAN WANTS - STOP THAT!! Doing ALL the favors she asks of you... never.
9. You need to know wha tto do in EVERY situation - ESPECIALLY WOMAN'S TESTS. Woman Will test you to see if you are a Wuss.
Yes she was separated for over a year and recently just divorced. I think she had a few short relationships over the last year before me. I shared my feelings more lately. The first few months I didn't. I think I passed her first wuss test and failed the second one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Well unfortuantely, it defntely was a re-bound relationship. The good news is you could get her back, but you have to be disciplined. It's up to you - give her some space - don't accept the 'friend zone' - I wouldn't even return her calls for a while.
You really need to evict the 'inner wuss' - and then, when you get a chance I na month or two - shoot her a simple e-mail.
The e-mail should be short and simple - "Hey, I wanted to see how you were doing" Maybe ask avout the kids. Keep it very short and simple. No pressure. No dates. See what happens.
She probably will call.
Ask her to MEET for coffee - "to catch up" - keep it light and funny - No tough questions - no relationship questions. This will take time. But you have time.
I also advise dating other woman - maybe she finds out.
Just stay out of her space for a while.
Yeah I didn't accept the friend zone. Forget that... Thanks for the advice, will keep updated.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Be busy improving yourself and learning to more of the guy who EXTERNALLY doesn't care. You got to learn to hide your cards - no hearts on sleves, woman hate that - all of them.
You're mission is just to be the fun to be with guy - nothing more. You can slowly build that back - IF you follow the rules - and #1 is zero contact.
Gotchya thanks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Sorry to hear that. That happens ALL the time - for some reason they are more comfortable with the guy who treats them like CRAP. The jerks do something to many woman.
AND the crux of the problem is - she'll end up leaving him again for the same freaking reasons.
It probably has something to do with the way she was brought up. Her parents may have been abusive, so she is used to being treated poorly - she doesn't have to worry about NOT hurting his feelings because he is a jerk and it doesn't matter. You - being the 'good guy' - she has to worry about ALWAYS being nice.
If this is the case leave her aloen for now. She doesn't deserve to be a part of your life and you don't need to be in the 'Friend Zone'.
It great to treat a woman well - going forward - just remember to be a little less available - don't call all the time - MAKE Decisions - no -kissing - make her laugh - no nee0dy-clingy, be independent, do other things in life - break a date - don't always be there. SAY NO sometimes!!
... so being a little more independent and not a lap dog and proving you can handle her crap and make sure you don't take ANY of her crap would have been a big turn on. I am sure at the end you probably tried make not to do anything to upset her. WHICH is wrong - woman need to go through their emotions - their emotions are like waves - highs and lows - they need to get mad, cry, laugh, angry, low, high... you've probably seen this - with my gal sometimes I wonder if she is the same gal! Haha!
Remember - they think differently than us - they use their feelings. It's the bizzaro world. She went back to guy because he makes he feelings go bizzerk.
So if you guys don't use feelings, what are you operating on?
Logic. Always.
Meaning... my gal LOVES Tulips. I WOULD buy her tulips every day if I could - but she would HATE me for it. I would buy a field every day of tulips. Nope! Doesn't work that way... tulips every so offten when she DOESN'T expect it.
It's like I love cigars and wines. If she gave me those things every day I would be an extremely happy camper.
Yup girl is damaged goods... Moving on... at least I learned a valuable lesson - thanks manQuote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
I didn't want to say those words, but yes she is.
You MORE than likely saved yourself from a lot of trouble, heartache, and bad situations.
The first couple months it's easy to be smitten/lust - she behaves well.
Later - you probably could have a world of hell. She most likely is very unhappy.
Just take it as experience.
Yup how can any idiot get 3 chances? :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Take that as a massive red flag.
Woman think it's a good idea to get back together with the father of their children for the sake of the children.
I bet a lot of money he cheated on her? Plus - she was with you.
It's all F-ed up.
You may not have done much wrong, but she may have been secretly pinning away for him - you just kept her company. She can't live with him, OR with out him.
Woman with Baggage need to be treated mean. NOT bad, not cruel. Just never give into them, make them think you are seeing someone else - or see someone else. You really have to use the love tactics in a the worst way.
That is gross. Is that really true?
I would say from my experience yes
Hey Turtle - what is gross?
If you mean woman like this? There are some really f---d up people out there.
These woman forget how bad these guys were to them for some major screwed up reason. AND for some reason they FEEL they shouldn't be treated well!! I am serious!!
I know a woman I dated once 3 years ago who left/divorced her husband 3 years ago because he was abusive to her. YET, she was STILL in love with him - he was re-married and had a kid - he was really happy and very good to his second wife - he had grown up. (also this woman brought out the abusiveness in him)
I'd just becareful and take things slow with divorcées - MOST ARE great. But many have issues and baggage.
ALSO - you have to be really careful of rebound relationships - SOME are looking to hurt someone else. It's sickening - but it makes them feel better.
Yup it's sickening all right. Just made me stronger in the end.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
It's gross that "women with baggage need to be treated mean." Tragic, really.
The sad part is they do not realize it.Quote:
Originally Posted by turtlegirl
Exactly!! They don't - even when people tell them.
Hi,
It's really tricky to answer to that question without knowing anything about both of you...
Well, it has been very long time, I am having relationship with girls...
So, I suggest you which might work...
If she dumped you and asking for getting you back, it would be because of your new look / new achievement / better qualities or power than the one who she liked after you, etc.
It might be because she is jealous seeing her friends getting coupled.
Perhaps, she thought that she could get another person who could satisfy her or match to her. Or, her parents or any kind of guardians are nomore strict as they were earlier.
Or during the relationship with you, she was confused with her career and now clear that relationship won't affect that anymore.
And many more. What do you think?
I don't have enough time to elaborate everything and give you the point which must be from among all those I would write down to you.
Anyway, you can couple up with her if for any of the aforementioned point, she broke up with you except it spoils your career or reputation or anything which is important to you.
Thanks anyway, looking forward to hearing from you soon.
TRY TO BE DECISIVE and TAKE DECISION. REGRET BEFORE TAKING DECISION BUT ONCE DECISION IS TAKEN, TAKE THE ADVANTAGE OF IT. You can sort it out anyway... Always sound confident in front of her... Hope a great life, Dude...
Things must not be working out with the ex. She's already emailing me. Probably just misses those multiple orgasms.
Well, please don't respond for a couple days - you're busy and she didn't need you before. Play hard to get.
Although - maybe you're done with her?
From how I feel now I am done man. If she wanted me back she's the one now who needs to read up haha. Ex couldn't hold a candle to me, and she's soon going to be realize it if she hasn't already.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
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