Ask Me Help Desk - Is my ex confused?

Is my ex confused?

My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost two weeks ago. We dated for about two years and had a pretty serious relationship. He broke up with me because I was a very paranoid and jealous person. I questioned him about everything and he felt untrusted. I completely understand why we broke up, and I learned from my mistakes.

I heard from some of his friends, including himself, that he was very devistated after the breakup, but he thought it was best for him and myself. He hated the drama!

We have hung out twice since our breakup, and had a really nice time. I was the one to approach him about us getting together. He obviously agreed both time and even changed some plans with a buddy to come see me one night. When we hung out we acted like we were still dating because we were affectionate and wrestled around like old times. He definitely noticed a change in me and said he was very impressed. We did not have sex, but we did get physical. He was very reluctant to both times because he said getting physical would confuse both me and him and he didn't want to lead me on. We couldn't resist each other though! The second time we hung out I told him I loved him and he didn't say it back. I asked him if he still loved me and he said he still did, but he didn't want to tell me he loved because he didn't want me to think we will get back together. When stuff comes about us being in a relationship he is very negative about it. I don't understand why he can act like we are dating, but doesn't want to tell me he loves me to lead me on. Is he confused about what he wants?

Can I make him want me back?

My ex and I have hung out a few times since we have broken up. When we are together we act like we are dating. He is reluctant to get physical, but we always do. We don't have sex though! We have lots of fun like old times and I know he notices that! He always makes negative comments about us not getting back together. I told him I loved him and he didn't say it back. I asked him if he still loves me, and he said he did. He told me that he didn't want to tell me he loves me because he doesn't want me to think that means we will get back together. I don't understand why he changes plans with friends to hang out with me and will hold my hand, cuddle me, kiss me, and rub me, but doesn't want to get back together. I figure if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't see me at all!

We are hanging out this weekend and going to a wwe wrestling event! WWE is our thing! Anyway, is there any chance spending that time with him will make him change his mind or should I just move on?

No I think he don't want to lead you on that their is a chance of getting back together. My ex also did this I knew she was hurting but when I e-mailed her 2 months after breakup I told her I still want to marry her. But I told her I loved her when we were talking, she never said it once back. So, No I don't think he's confused.

Sounds like he is pretty unsure of what he wants out of this relationship. Seems like he is enjoying your company better with no strings attached and without the drama that was there before. Take a step back from the situation and let time take it's course. You obviously want to get back with him into a serious relationship and he just really isn't sure. Is this what you want? You need to tell him that these are your expectations of this and if he doesn't want to live up to those expectations of being together again then you need to move on. You can't wait forever for him to make up his mind. If he does want to try again you have to really get better about being jealous acting and learn to have trust for him. Good luck!

You can't make someone want to be with you or make them love you. It's all up to that person.

He doesn't want to get back together, and making someone like you has been proven to fail (trust me). Just move on and appreciate that you have a good friend.:)

Quote:

Originally Posted by cassie1189

My ex and I have hung out a few times since we have broken up. When we are together we act like we are dating. He is reluctant to get physical, but we always do. We don't have sex though! We have lots of fun like old times and I know he notices that! He always makes negative comments about us not getting back together. I told him I loved him and he didn't say it back. I asked him if he still loves me, and he said he did. He told me that he didn't want to tell me he loves me because he doesn't want me to think that means we will get back together. I don't understand why he changes plans with friends to hang out with me and will hold my hand, cuddle me, kiss me, and rub me, but doesn't want to get back together. I figure if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't see me at all!

We are hanging out this weekend and going to a wwe wrestling event! WWE is our thing! Anyways, is there any chance spending that time with him will make him change his mind or should I just move on?

Personallyyyy;
i dont think you should just move on.
life is just too short to not give something so close, all your effort.

if you and him have all those memories.
and are still technically close.
then what is there to lose?

its better to try to get him back as YOURS.
then to just watch it all fall apart.

because i believe, that YOUR hands could hold things up.
so hold things up..
and make him believe.
that things would be more than just beautiful this time.

even if it means losing in the end.
its better to try than to not know what you could have had.
you get what im saying?

but advice, isnt always the best thing.

the best thing is usually going with your gut and your heart;
at the same time.

believe in yourself.
and you can achieve anything <3

Signs that my ex wants me back

What are the signs that your ex wants you back?

This will be different for every guy! No one is exactly alike. One guy my call you just to see how your doing while the other my avoid you by all means but still want you. It really just depends. Use you intuition; it's usually right!

Better idea:
Tell me what they did/said and can analyze 4 U.

Just be friends but don't ruin it by getting too aggressive. IF he wants to get back together in the future, he will let you know. For now, don't make it worse for yourself by kissing, etc. He's having fun doing that with you, but he already told you he doesn't want to date again, so don't let him have those benefits when you can save it for a new boyfriend. ;)

I think he just needs more time. He seems honest though, so I'm sure he'll tell you if/when he's ready to heat things back up.

Keep trying

It is all up to him. Give it some more time, continue to hangout with him, but don't make it physical. Don't say you love him. If he loves you, he knows you love him and doesn't need to hear it. Just give him some time, and if he is still interested, he will come around.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cassie1189

My ex and I have hung out a few times since we have broken up. When we are together we act like we are dating. He is reluctant to get physical, but we always do. We don't have sex though! We have lots of fun like old times and I know he notices that! He always makes negative comments about us not getting back together. I told him I loved him and he didn't say it back. I asked him if he still loves me, and he said he did. He told me that he didn't want to tell me he loves me because he doesn't want me to think that means we will get back together. I don't understand why he changes plans with friends to hang out with me and will hold my hand, cuddle me, kiss me, and rub me, but doesn't want to get back together. I figure if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't see me at all!

We are hanging out this weekend and going to a wwe wrestling event! WWE is our thing! Anyways, is there any chance spending that time with him will make him change his mind or should I just move on?

The worst thing to do is chase someone makes them want u less

Does he still have feelings?

How do you know if your ex boyfriend who ended the relationship still has feelings for you?

Why does he want to be my friend

About a month ago, my ex boyfriend told me he never wanted to hang out with me again and he was moving on. Well in the past week and a half we have been talking a lot and actually ended up hanging out again. Why does he want to be my friend?

The best way to tell, is if he tells you. If you describe what's been going on, it will be easier to help you. :)

It could be something as simple as not wanting to lose you as a friend. People can say harsh things that they don't mean when they break off a relationship.

Maybe he don't want to lose you as friend as naticalstar said. I think he want to be both togather again but you should be cautious.maybe he wants smthn from you.

Good luck

Do I have a chance to get my ex boyfriend back?

Hello. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my question. My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago because I was very jealous and paranoid. I questioned the poor guy about anything and everything and it lead to us fighting 2 or 3 times a day. He loved me more than anything, but he was always mad at me and just had to end the relationship. His excuse was "I don't have the urge to put any effort in a relationship with you because you caused me so much grief". Andy is a very drama free and laid back person. He is insensitive and doesn't express his emotions very well.

About a month after we broke up, I asked him to come over and he refused. He told me that it was done and over, he was moving, on and everyday gets easier for him. Mind you, he was hanging out with his guy friend EVERYDAY at the time. He told me we would not be hanging out anymore and I would probably see him on our 10th year reunion. The next day he called me 4 times in an hour to apologize, but I didn't answer the phone. Andy never apologizes for anything so secretly it meant a lot to me. I didn't see him for an entire month after that conversation. We just started hanging out again about 3 weeks ago. Whenever I call him he is quick to answer the phone and if I text message him he usually responds.

Here is where the confusion begins. Sometimes he acts like he wants to be with me and other times he acts like he doesn't. When we hang out he treats me just like he did when we were dating. He talks to me the same and even baby talks me sometimes just like he used to. We we first started getting physical after the breakup he would always make comments like "We shouldn't be doing this cause we aren't dating" "I don't want to lead you on" and "We can't kiss cause its to personal". Well lately he hasn't made those comments and has been very affectionate. I actually thought we were going to get back together a few times cause he was so nice to me. When we are sharing a close moment he looks me in the eyes and sometimes he makes comments about how attrractive I am. The other night he held me so close that I actually woke up sticky and sweaty where our bodies were touching. He rubs my face and my hair every now and then which is a sign of loving someone in my opinion.

Sometimes Andy acts the complete opposite. He acts like I am annoying and doesn't seem thrilled to be around me. He will answer the phone calls and respond to text messages, but when I made plans for him to come over tonight he acted like he wasn't to interested. He is going to come over I guess. Anyway... when it comes to being affectionate I have to make the first move and he doesn't cuddle me or kiss me. If I cuddle him or act affectionate toward him he doesn't mind, but like I said I have to make the first move.

I guess I don't know if Andy still loves me and is interested in me or if he is feeling the opposite. I want to be with him so bad, but I don't know if he ever wants to be with me again. Sometimes I feel like he does and is just testing the waters to make sure things aren't going to be the same and other times I feel like he just wants someone to hang out with. From my knowledge, he hasn't and currently is not seeing anyone else. I don't even think he has hung out with another girl. Am I wasting my time or do I have a chance?

It's very hard not to make comments that we wish we hadn't made. That's normal. It sounds like he's very, very carefully testing the waters to see how your doing and to see if you are able to completely let go of the stuff that drove him away. You probably don't have a clue about your behavior ( very jealous and paranoid ) but that's like throwing trust right out the window and he's aware of how some girls/women respond to those feelings. In short it's hard to trust a person who's into jealousy, it just opens so many doors to other questions about who you are. We like to know who our partner is before building a relationship with meaning. If he's worth it you might invest some time in professionally working on the jealous/noid aspects of your make-up. So don't flip out and agonize over this, instead you want to be able to build a relationship with who ever your with now or 2 years from now. Take care of yourself first and then come the relationships.

Hey =)

Quote:

Sometimes Andy acts the complete opposite. He acts like I am annoying and doesn't seem thrilled to be around me. He will answer the phone calls and respond to text messages, but when I made plans for him to come over tonight he acted like he wasn't to interested. He is going to come over I guess. Anyway... when it comes to being affectionate I have to make the first move and he doesn't cuddle me or kiss me. If I cuddle him or act affectionate toward him he doesn't mind, but like I said I have to make the first move.

Kind of sounds like he's still interested but he's scared, because he doesn't know how you feel 100%. Hence why he doesn't make a move.
I think the best thing to do is tell him you want to be with him again.

What I feel is that if he tries to get your attention,he still calls you,or he gets really jealous if your with another guy and usually ex's don't talk with their ex girlfriends because it ends up getting weird but just showing little signs tells you and if he does you'll feel it!

Ask him. Or talk with him, and you might hear it in the conversation.

I am in the same position. I broke up with a guy who had treated me like a Queen ---- but
We had other issues that we couldn't seem to agree on so we split. Got back together ( I asked him ) 8 months later... He agreed but he blows hot/cold. Sometimes he's very sweet - other times -
He becomes very cool/reserved and even may call me "goof" or say... " Am I talking to a WALL?"
Direspectful comments that irritate me but I do not want to rock the boat since I'm trying to earn his trust back. I think the whole key here is that he is afraid to trust. Only time will help - He has admitted he's afraid to invest in anyone/anything anymore for fear of such great disappointment. Ride the wave for a while - but if you don't see improvements over a decent period, you may want to rethink staying with this person. If they are really stuck and can't move on with you - I would suggest cutting them loose. There is no glory in being a whipping post. I'll hang in for a while but if things don't improve and this person can't open his heart up anymore - it won't work. Period.