So I've known this guy for about six weeks. I thought he was cute but thought he was out of my league, so I didn't really think anything of it. Then one of my really good guy friends told me that he thinks this guy likes me, when I asked him why he thinks that he said it was because he seems to always be around and he siad that he caught that guy looking at me when I wasn't looking. So I started noticing him more and talking to him. But the first couple of weeks he seemed really shy, he was always around me but would hardly ever talk unless I started talking to him first. Well the last few weeks he's gotten a lot more comfortable around me I guess, because now he is ALWAYS finding things to talk to me about and always teasing me about everything. We exchanged myspaces and he messaged me on there a couple of times to see how I was and stuff like that. And now he always teases me about my myspace. I have a bunch of pics of some actors that I think are hot and stuff like that and he is like why the heck would you like this guy or that guy and he is always making fun of the guys that I like... and just always teasing me about different things and always smiling and waving hi to me and stuff like that... so finally I after a bunch of my friends told me that he definitely likes me, I asked him if he wanted to catch a movie sometime, well he said he would let me know but I haven't heard from him in a while... he seems really shy and I can tell he has pretty low self confidence so could that have something to do with him not wanting to hang out or does he just not like me and I'm reading everything wrong? Thanks for any advice!

I think he likes you, but is unsure of himself. I think he may be afraid of how to act on a real date. I doubt he has been with a lot of females. Hope your patient.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I think he likes you, but is unsure of himself. I think he may be afraid of how to act on a real date. I doubt he has been with a lot of females. Hope your patient.

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I just think I might feel weird around him next time I see him. I haven't seen him since I've asked to hang out so I don't really know how to act. I've never actually had the guts to ask a guy out, but I really thought he liked me and my really good guy friend told me he thought that he did, so I guess that gave me the confidence to do it. But now I just don't want things to be weird.

Hello.

Why don't you get a few friends that know him to have a party or go someplace where your both invited. That way he can be with you and its not a date. If he is shy this will help break the ice.

Good Luck
Dennis777

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Originally Posted by Dennis777

Hello.

Why don't you get a few friends that know him to have a party or go someplace where your both invited. That way he can be with you and its not a date. if he is shy this will help break the ice.

Good Luck
Dennis777

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That's true, I should have done that in the first place. I just don't know if I'm going to have the courage to ask him again... but if he is shy and I asked him to hang out, why would he still be shy?
Also a while ago he introduced me to his friend and he was all like this is the one I was telling you about etc... so I really thought all the signs where there that he liked me, so I really don't know, if I'm just really bad at reading guys, bad instincts or if there is more to it... I don't know. I just know I'm going to feel weird next time I see him.

This guy is probably just very shy... I could understand. I used to be that shy, it was a very extreme kind of shyness.

Like talaniman said, have patience. He'll come around. If I were you, I'd casually ask again... make it light and casual, such as:

"Hey, so when are we going to see that movie?"

"I heard confused11 still wants to see that movie with you; are you going to go?"

"Look, moron, you go to the movies with me and you're pretty much guaranteed second base; so either get in my car or come out of the closet!"

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Originally Posted by huno

This guy is probably just very shy... I could understand. I used to be that shy, it was a very extreme kind of shyness.

Like talaniman said, have patience. He'll come around. If I were you, I'd casually ask again... make it light and casual, such as:

"Hey, so when are we going to see that movie?"

"I heard confused11 still wants to see that movie with you; are you going to go?"

"Look, moron, you go to the movies with me and you're pretty much guaranteed second base; so either get in my car or come out of the closet!"

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Haha:D yeah I mean he HAS to know that I like him, and I knew that he is shy and that if I didn't ask him, he probably never would, but now I wish I hadn't asked him. Maybe he just needed more time I don't know... but from what I've told you guys, do you guys think he does like me, or am I really just misreading things? Because like how shy can you be, I mean all he had to do was pretty much get back to me and let me know when he wanted to hang out since he already knew I wanted too... but if you guys think the signs are there that he does then I will be patient and give him more time, but if he doesn't and is trying to give me hints, then I don't want to waste my time... thank you so much for the help.

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Originally Posted by confused11

haha:D yeah I mean he HAS to know that I like him, and I knew that he is shy and that if I didn't ask him, he probably never would, but now I wish I hadn't asked him.

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NO! Bad confused11! Bad!

Argh... I thought I was getting through to you women--it's OKAY to ask a guy out! Especially if he's shy. I not only advise it, I encourage it at every opportunity. If I had one dying wish, it's that girls would take the initiative and just ask guys out.

Not that it would do me any good, since I'd be dying... but...

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maybe he just needed more time I don't know

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Guys don't need "more time," that's a girl thing. Next.

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... but from what I've told you guys, do you guys think he does like me, or am I really just misreading things? Because like how shy can you be, I mean all he had to do was pretty much get back to me and let me know when he wanted to hang out since he already knew I wanted too...

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Well, admittedly, it's weird that he wouldn't just accept your offer and be done with it. Maybe he's scared of embarrassing himself around you. He might be socially awkward and inconfident about his mannerisms, so much so that the thought of a one-on-one date with you probably puts him on edge.

Again, I think you should gently remind him that you're waiting on him for a trip to the theater. Take him to see "Knocked Up," it'll remind him that even losers can score with hot girls.

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Well, admittedly, it's weird that he wouldn't just accept your offer and be done with it. Maybe he's scared of embarrassing himself around you. He might be socially awkward and inconfident about his mannerisms, so much so that the thought of a one-on-one date with you probably puts him on edge.

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Again, I think you should gently remind him that you're waiting on him for a trip to the theater. Take him to see "Knocked Up," it'll remind him that even losers can score with hot girls.

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Yeah I kind of thought that the fact that he didn't say one way or the other was kind of weird too. He kind of just mumbled something like I'm going to be busy for a while but ill let you know... but I know for a fact that he had a day off today and didn't get in contact with me, well maybe he had other plans. I don't know, but I'm thinking if he was really into me, he would have jumped on my invitation right? He would have made firm plans? I know he does have really low self confidence because the few times we've talked he always talked himself down, he said things like yeah I'm a terrible athlete, and I never think anything good is going to happen to me and all stuff like that... I don't know if low self confidence would play any part in this because he already must know I like him... so confusing.

He might also think you're out of his league. Stop dressing so hot. Maybe wear your mom's clothes. Wear a paper bag over your head and shave off all your hair. Instead of wearing perfume, slather yourself in barbecue sauce.

Now, I'm off to watch Futurama. Good luck!



--Bender

P.S.: "Your best is an idiot!"

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Originally Posted by huno

He might also think you're out of his league. Stop dressing so hot. Maybe wear your mom's clothes. Wear a paper bag over your head and shave off all your hair. Instead of wearing perfume, slather yourself in barbecue sauce.

Now, I'm off to watch Futurama. Good luck!



--Bender

P.S.: "Your best is an idiot!"

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Aww thanks for you advice. You're great:) . Well I don't know, all my friends seem to think that I'm out of his league, but I think he is out of mine... oh well... funny thing is that I'm being pursued by seriously 3 other guys right now, and I'm not interested in them at all because I really like this guy... its funny how you always want what you can't have... :(

I think you could have him, but he is not your typical fun loving guy. He has no experience and doesn't know what to do. Take the bull by the horns and talk straight to him, and let him know you expect him to express his feelings to you, in a clear way, so you can stop being confused. I think you expect him to take the lead in this, and he doesn't have the tools to do so.

So what about that whole thing that if he doesn't call or contact you then he is just not that into you? And I mean I made the first move in asking him, so he really has nothing to be afraid of as far as rejection or whatever... so that's why I don't really know what to do, its like yeah I like him but I don't really want to keep on asking him and embarrace myself and probably him too... ahhhhh why do things have to be so complicated?

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Originally Posted by confused11

aww thanks for you advice. you're great:) . well i dont know, all my friends seem to think that im out of his league, but i think he is out of mine... oh well...funny thing is that im being pursued by seriously 3 other guys right now, and im not interested in them at all because i really like this guy...its funny how you always want what you can't have...:(

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No problem, I'm like Splenda: I'm a decent substitute for the real thing but with none of the guilt. Also I cause stomach cramps.

3 guys? Damn, girl! Look, you're clearly the hot one between the two of you, I think you should give your boy there a helping hand. Let him know you're really interested. Next time you see him, don't say "hi" or ask how he's doing: push him to the ground and jump on him.

And YES, it always ends up that way. I think it's the way we're wired: things we can have easily are just not attractive. Otherwise diamonds wouldn't be valuable, right?

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Originally Posted by confused11

so what about that whole thing that if he doesnt call or contact you then he is just not that into you? and i mean i made the first move in asking him, so he really has nothing to be afraid of as far as rejection or whatever...so thats why i dont really know what to do, its like yeah i like him but i dont really want to keep on asking him and embarrace myself and probably him too...ahhhhh why do things have to be so complicated?

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Well, I still think he might be excessively shy... but I still see no reason why you shouldn't ask once more. Be casual about it, don't make it such a big deal. Let him know that you are really interested and I think he'll come around. If after a second offer he doesn't do anything then you might move on to one of the 3 guys that want you.

If he sees you with one of them, he'll probably be affected by the "want what you can't have" phenomenon and then the ball will be rolling again.

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3 guys? Damn, girl! Look, you're clearly the hot one between the two of you, I think you should give your boy there a helping hand. Let him know you're really interested. Next time you see him, don't say "hi" or ask how he's doing: push him to the ground and jump on him.

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Haha. I wish I could just jump on him, that be nice.;) I don't know about me being the hot one, I think I'm just nice so guys aren't afraid to approach me, well some of them obviously still are... but yeah a bunch of my friends that saw him think that he is just OK and that I can do better, but to me he is like the hottest guy ever. :)

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Well, I still think he might be excessively shy... but I still see no reason why you shouldn't ask once more. Be casual about it, don't make it such a big deal. Let him know that you are really interested and I think he'll come around. If after a second offer he doesn't do anything then you might move on to one of the 3 guys that want you.

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Yeah I think I'll just continue to act live I have been and if he continues to flirt then maybe I'll casually mention something, but if he acts weird the next time I see him then I know that he is pretty much not into it.

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If he sees you with one of them, he'll probably be affected by the "want what you can't have" phenomenon and then the ball will be rolling again.

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Haha yeah, I don't know, I've never really liked to play games, but maybe you're right.

Any other advice on this? Thanks in advance.

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Originally Posted by confused11

any other advice on this? thanks in advance.

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Knowing what we've told you so far, has it made a difference??

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Knowing what we've told you so far, has it made a difference???

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Yeah, well I mean I just have to wait and see how he acts the next time I see him, which will probably be this weekend sometime. If he acts different and avoids me then I guess he is not interested. If he acts the same and keeps on flirting then I'll go from there. I just don't want to seem like I'm too forward or something.

Very wise, take it slow. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Very wise, take it slow. Good luck.

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Ooooh, no, I have to disagree with you (your sig says I should tell you, so don't yell at me afterwards).

Guys aren't meant to take things slow: we drive fast, play hard, eat big and fart loud. 0-60 in 5 seconds? Try 0-2394875 in yesterday.

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Originally Posted by confused11

I just dont want to seem like I'm too forward or something.

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No, too forward would sound something like this:

"Hey, which do you like better? The left one or the right one? Put your hand on 'em and tell me what you think. And take your time. While you're at it, can you tell me if they're perky or bouncy?"

[QUOTE=huno]

Guys aren't meant to take things slow


Are you sure all the guys aren't meant to take things slow?
This is questions I want to know.

If slow, does it mean there is no love?

No way if they do happen to take it slow it may be out of inexperience, don't ever leave a guy because you think he's taking it too slow, tell him first, give him a chance

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Originally Posted by cjnvgq

Are you sure all the guys aren't meant to take things slow?
This is questions I want to know.

If slow, does it mean there is no love?

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She's not marrying him, she just wants to see a movie...

Ooooh, no, I have to disagree with you (your sig says I should tell you, so don't yell at me afterwards).
No problem, this is better than a reddie with no explanation, and more respectful I might add.
Guys aren't meant to take things slow: we drive fast, play hard, eat big and fart loud. 0-60 in 5 seconds? Try 0-2394875 in yesterday.
You have to give a female and yourself time to pay attention to each other and get to know each other and not just jump into something following your heart and end up in an emotional chaos. You can also think and make sure of your own motives and feelings and slow develops the bond that makes the relationship happy and fulfilling as well as fun. The big reason for going slow, you can see the red flags waving and avoid the traps and pitfalls of a relationship, and avoid the crash and burn of moving into areas you may not be ready for. Slow gives you time to be honest with yourself and is a good lesson for both partners to know. Even race cars have brakes.

Hey guys! Thanks for the advice. I think it is a good idea to take things slow, get to know him and stuff. I haven't seen him since I asked him to hang out but he did write me a message on myspace, so I guess he's not weirded out after all? I guess if he was he would have avoided me, right? Maybe he just wants to be friends, which is fine I guess. But then I still don't get why he wouldn't want to hang out...

When ever I talk to a girl that I like I don't no what to talk about. He probably doesn't want 2 say the wrong thing to you.

If u have msn can I have it

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but then I still don't get why he wouldn't want to hang out...

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He probably has never done it, and doesn't want you to think he is a dope or something. Just cause he's cute doesn't means he is experienced or mature.

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Originally Posted by confused11

I think it is a good idea to take things slow, get to know him and stuff.

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For the record, I didn't ACTUALLY mean you should jump on him or let him have at the twins. :) But I just think that, for the short-term goal of watching a movie, just go in there guns blazing. Going to watch a movie, getting coffee, having lunch together--THAT'S when you get to know him and the ultimate goal of developing a relationship should be slow-paced.

I guess what I'm saying is this: if a cute girl I'd never seen before walked up to me and asked me to join her for coffee, I'd go for it without hesitation.

But if the same girl asked me to be her BF the next day, I'd say no.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

He probably has never done it, and doesn't want you to think he is a dope or something. Just cause he's cute doesn't means he is experienced or mature.

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Yup. I whole-heartedly agree. I still think confused11 should be going after him more aggressively, though.

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Originally Posted by huno

For the record, I didn't ACTUALLY mean you should jump on him or let him have at the twins. :) But I just think that, for the short-term goal of watching a movie, just go in there guns blazing. Going to watch a movie, getting coffee, having lunch together--THAT'S when you get to know him and the ultimate goal of developing a relationship should be slow-paced.

I guess what I'm saying is this: if a cute girl I'd never seen before walked up to me and asked me to join her for coffee, I'd go for it without hesitation.

But if the same girl asked me to be her BF the next day, I'd say no.



Yup. I whole-heartedly agree. I still think confused11 should be going after him more aggressively, though.

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How much more aggressive can I get?:confused: I'm always talking to him, complimenting him, asking him questions, I even hugged him a couple of times... well actually he hugged me first, then I hugged him the next time I saw him... and he told me a while ago that we would hang out, and then when I ask him too, he totally blows it off. So yeah, I don't know. I'm starting to loose hope... I mean the only thing that's left for me to do is to go up to him and be like listen I like you we should get it on... but that might freak him out.:)

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Originally Posted by confused11

how much more aggressive can I get?:confused: im always talking to him, complimenting him, asking him questions, i even hugged him a couple of times...well actually he hugged me first, then i hugged him the next time i saw him... and he told me a while ago that we would hang out, and then when i ask him too, he totally blows it off. so yeah, i dont know. im starting to loose hope...

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Well there should come a time where you have to give up and move on... I still don't think it's quite there yet.

It may be he's not interested... or he may simply be shy. And neither situation is really all that great. See, this guy may be really shy and inconfident, so you should give him reassurance that you really want to be in his company.

But at some point this guy's got to start taking the initiative. If he never does and you have to keep prodding him, you have to ask yourself: do I really want to deal with that?

Ask him again. Gentle, but firm: say you really want to check out a movie with him. Be nice and flirty with him, make sure he understands you're interested. If in a week the date hasn't happened, let him wallow in his own misery and find yourself a real man. :cool:

Maybe the straight approach is what you need, and just ask him what's holding him back, and how come you aren't hanging out or going to movies?

OK. So I think I got my answer today... I saw the guy today. We work for the same company but at like totally different branches so we don't actually work together or anything, but anyway there was like this work event thing that we were both at... so anyway, I was playing it cool, to see if he would avoid me or what not... so as soon as he sees me he comes over and starts talking, asks me if I got his myspace message and stuff, and we just had a really good conversation about movies and stuff like that, so everything was cool... then he had to go to do something so I went and started talking to other people, my friend was there too (the one that thinks the guy likes me) so I'm talking to him and then we just kind of like started play fighting and doing silly stuff, because we're just good friends and we joke around... so then my crush comes back and he sees me play fighting with my friend, and I stopped right away because I didn't want him to think I was flirting with other guys or whatever, but anyway he comes over and then tells my friend how he has 3 dates this week. Right in front of me!! He was like yeah I'm going to be so broke, I'm going on three dates, but I'm going to end it with this one girl and all this stuff. And I was like totally speechless. I mean I've known him for a while now and every time I ask him what he's been doing and stuff, he always just says he's been working a lot and stuff like that. He's never mentioned any dates or girls and now he has 3 dates?
So I'm guessing that it was just a HUGE hint to me that he is not interested? Or he is trying to make himself sound better, like he has all these girls, but that would just be seriously stupid. I mean do guys do that?
I don't know, either way, I think I'm wasting my time with this guy.. agh I just really like him a lot :(

Drop off completely you sound way to keen. He probably doesn't actually realise your interested but even if he does your scaring him away. Next time he speaks to you tell him yourve got a date on thje weekend. Even if you have to say something like the guy isn't that great but he's really sweet I'm going to give him a chance.

YOU MUST DO THIS show no fear let him know your in demand

Im only 15 but my friends and I have big egos. We try to get as much dates as possible and we want to impress our g/f's. We will lie to try to make ourselves look better when we are really just insecure. I don't think you have ever been in a guys locker room. We talk about a lot of stuff to try to impress our friends too. Basically just be nice to him and let him know that you are interested. He may just be jealous that you and your friend have such a close relation. Don't take anything from him. Personally I always seem to like the girls I can't get, so play hard to get in a way. Basically be nice but don't act obsessed with him.

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

Drop off completely you sound way to keen. He probly doesnt actually realise your interested but even if he does your scaring him away. Next time he speaks to you tell him yourve got a date on thje weekend. Even if you have to say something like the guy isnt that great but hes really sweet im gunna give him a chance.

YOU MUST DO THIS show no fear let him know your in demand

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Well I don't know how I'd be scaring him away. I mean he does all the flirting, I just respond to him, he's always teasing me about the guys I like, about movies I like, basically everything. I try to ask him questions and compliment him and stuff like that, so he must know Im interested... and he mentioned hanging out before so that's why I had the courage to ask him to go check a movie... but I mean he did kind of blow that off, and now he is talking about all these dates he has... so obviously he is dating but doesn't want to catch a movie with me?? I'm thinking it's a pretty clear sign to leave him alone.

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Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE

Im only 15 but my friends and i have big egos. We try to get as much dates as possible and we want to impress our g/f's. We will lie to try to make ourselves look better when we are really just insecure. I dont think you have ever been in a guys locker room. We talk about alot of stuff to try to impress our friends too. Basically just be nice to him and let him know that you are interested. He may just be jealous that you and your friend have such a close relation. Don't take anything from him. Personally I always seem to like the girls i can't get, so play hard to get in a way. Basically be nice but don't act obsessed with him.

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Hey there. You're a pretty wise man for only being 15;)
The thing that confuses me about him, is that a few weeks ago, he was all telling me how he has no self confidence and how he is this huge nerd and he is a horrible athlete and stuff like that, so I don't think he's be saying those things if he was trying to make himself sound better... but now like 3 weeks later he has all these dates, that he never mentioned before. Its kind of weird to me. But maybe he is just saying that so id leave him alone. I don't know.

I do not think he wants you to leave him alone. If he did, most likely he would then avoid you. Maybe he is trying to get sympathy from you. I do not know him but maybe it is how he acts when he's around you. I act different around girls and espesically ones I like. I do a lot of stupid stuff. Maybe his is trying to make you feel sorry for him. If you are sick of waiting for him to make a move, try to make a move. Keep trying to have "dates" because he may just be shy. Go to the movies with some co workers and invite him. You do not talk much in movies so he may be more comfortable and he will eventually get use to you being around him. I think I can help you if he is shy, as I am shy, so I know all about breaking the ice, but I do not want to go into that if that is not the problem.

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Originally Posted by sGt HarDKorE

I do not think he wants you to leave him alone. If he did, most likely he would then avoid you. Maybe he is trying to get sympathy from you. I do not know him but maybe it is how he acts when hes around you. I act different around girls and espesically ones i like. I do a lot of stupid stuff. Maybe his is trying to make you feel sorry for him. If you are sick of waiting for him to make a move, try to make a move. Keep trying to have "dates" because he may just be shy. Go to the movies with some co workers and invite him. You do not talk much in movies so he may be more comfortable and he will eventually get use to you being around him. I think i can help you if he is shy, as i am shy, so i know all about breaking the ice, but i do not want to go into that if that is not the problem.

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Well, he is pretty shy. I mean the first few weeks after I met him, he barely talked. He would always hang out by me and talk to everyone else around me but wouldn't talk to me unless I asked him a question. But know he seems totally comfortable talking to me, he is the one that's always initiating conversation and making jokes and finding ways to tease me, so it seems like he is out of his shell somewhat.. . yeah I figured a movie would be good, since we both love movies, that's why I asked him if he wanted to catch a movie, he said he would let me know, and then time went by and he never called or anything, and today was the first time I've seen him since then and even though he didn't act weird or try to avoid me like I thought he might, he was all talking about all these dates he has. So it seemed like he was just hinting that he wasn't interested. But then I don't know why he would send me myspace messages and talk to me today if that were the case, he would try to avoid me? Right?

Yeah, I think he is just trying to prove something to you. Maybe he thinks that you feel sorry for him so he feels that he needs to prove to you that he can get woman.Me and this one girl talked a lot, flirted a lot, and joked around a lot, but as soon as I found out she liked me (like I didn't already know) I came a totally different person. I kind of stopped talking and tried to drift a way. Fortunately our friend kept making us do things together. Maybe you just need to have one of his friends kind of push him to go to the movies or w/e.