True or false?
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True or false?
Not always true, but I can see where people get that impression.
I would say all depends on the situation. There is no just true or false answer.
Joe
Ok just a wee example.
Boy makes a silly stupid but ultimately harmless mistake, tries to say sorry and gets dumped.
Boy treats his girl like crap, maybe even beats her, but says he loves her and that it won't happen again, girl forgives and stays with him.
I would say with that example and that situation. Yes, nice guy finishes last.
Its not that girls like @ssholes... it's that girls like CONFIDENCE and the majority of the time, arrogant @ssholes exude confidence while your typical "nice guy" does not.
So one could say that yes, "nice guys" finish last. However, that doesn't mean that nice guys finish last.
(didja get that?)
Very true.
But I hate it when girls go on and on about how they can't find someone to treat them right or they are sick of always being hurt.
Sometimes you just want to say "darlin maybe prison isnt the best place to go looking for a date" lol
Girls say a lot of things lol ;) the problem is that most of the guys that will treat her right are "wusses". I don't mean that in too much of a derogatory term, its just means that they roll-over. It's the "Lemme buy you a drink", "I called you 17 times today... where were you?", "follow you around everywhere you go", puppy-dog kind of guys.
Its all about the Laws of Attraction. If you are interested, there is a lot of recommending reading on this subject that will help anyone in this area of life. No, its not manipulation or deceiving... its simply a way of being a better you.
But yeah, I was a "nice guy" and it sucked. Always stuck in the friend zone. But that soon changed ;)
Yea man, before I met my ex it seemed that every girl I wanted I was stuck in the friend zone with, now that sucked worse than paris hilton making a comeback vid
LOL agrred to that!! :D
Here's a good post that a cool cat named Wildcat posted. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ion-45424.html check that out, and some of his other posts/suggested reading. Hes got this stuff nailed
Unfortunately, it's true.Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa1985
But it doesn't mean that nice guys should become bad. :p
I think we girls like nice guys better, but somehow we're more attracted to the other 'types'... :rolleyes: Again, unfortunately!
False.
False.
Nice guys aren't even in the race to begin with.
Well if you have a girlfriend... You should be nice to her. I mean girls don't want an abusive guy or anything. I think it's all tug-a-war... Even while dating, don't say yes to everything. Let there be some waiting but not to the point of frustration. Also, let there be room to breath. I learned this much from my last experience. Being too nice, they know they can do anything. Being mean will make them leave... I believe it's more of a balance you need to have... But this is only 25% of the game. How good are you in bed? How interesting are you... All these books of relationships and stuff are useless really. Who you are is who you are and somebody will love you just for that someday, forever! Someday, we will all finish last!
Yea very true, I think it sucks that you have to pretend not to really like someone in order for them to stay interested, seems pretty messed up.
It's not messed up, it's silly game playing. You're better off with a girl that doesn't do this.
Its not nice guys finish last. Its about having your own life away from your 'partner!'
The three C'S!
1) Challenge
2) Confidence
3) Charm
Girls DO want nice guys. What they don't want, however, is a nice guy who lacks certain aspects found mostly, but not exclusively, in the jerks you're talking about. They crave these things. You have to have what I call the Three C's - ever so trite, isn't it? The three C's are:
Charm - The ability to hold a conversation, be humorous, and dish out compliments with creativity and style. Believe it or not, "You have such shapely collarbones" is a far better compliment than "You're beautiful", just because it's something you rarely hear.
Challenge - That perfect mixture of flirtatiousness and elusiveness that leaves girls wondering, "Does he like me?". They LOVE that feeling of not having total control.
Confidence - The ability to take risks and handle the inevitable pain and rejection that is so much a part of dealing with the opposite sex with dignity and poise. After all, you know you're the biggest catch this side of Albuquerque! It's her loss, not yours. NOTHING is a bigger turn-off than desperation.
Charm is what most nice guys have, and most jerks don't. But jerks do have more confidence and challenge than those who complain of Nice Guy Syndrome. They've got you outnumbered two to one. Self-proclaimed Nice Guys need to get the rest of the package. You need to show girls that you can be sexy, fun, and full of attitude without sacrificing the heart of gold you know makes you a better man than all the insensitive jerks out there.
Get the three C's and you'll never be at a loss for excitement and fulfillment in your love life.
Hmm strange question hehe I've got two C s
Challenge
Charm
But you see I have girls after me a lot more then jerks but I also am such a unique person that probably everyone knows me I mean I am being flirted a lot with girls although I don't got the slightest bit of confidence to tell the girl I like that I like her.
If you want to know what my uniqueness is in I can tell
But believe me the girls are also going harsh 3 have asked for sex I'm 12 years old(class jump... It's hard being the youngest and most unique person(for not just that reason)in school)
False... In my own experience I was the so called " Popular girl" in high school I cheerleaded and I was all about partying lol... My boyfriend now was the band geek, played video games but was a sweet heart always told me when my boyfriends were jerks I just realized that this guy would do anything to make me happy and we have been together ever since but I could see why you say nice guys finish last, some girls just want bad boys.. lol
I ditto Jisers response, that was a good answer.
Women like a nice guy with the three c's.
1.) Charm
2.) Confidence
3.) Challenge
Sorry to repeat that Jiser but I could not rate you on it.
Nice guys can often lack the second which can let them down. Usually the most confident are the **sholes who end up treating a woman badly, although not always.
It's a bit like in the animal world. The strongest who wins a fight ends up winning their mate.
In the human world, it works on a different level, it is either the more confident or he who is financially successful. Again, this is not always the case and with equality between men and women becoming more evident in today's society and women becoming more dominant in the workplace, this can be said to be true for women winning over their man.. LOL
That's drifting from the point but I thought it would be food for thought. I don't think it is that nice guys necessarily finish last. It is a question of balance and if you lose balance and become a walking doormat, puppy dog that has low self esteem, the yes, you will finish last or even not at all.
You don't need to change who you are for someone else. If you are good and a genuinely nice person then why change that?
What you (not referring to you personally) need to do is focus on how to build your confidence so that you can be attractive and still be who you are, THE NICE GUY.
See and not all women want the same thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by BigCityDreams007
It is also a question of choosing the right woman.
Value yourself and say to yourself, 'I don't want second best. If she does not want someone like me, she is not worthy of me and she can have second best'.
It is an inner arrogance that I accept as being healthy as long as you keep it within.
By the way, I like the way you don't beat around the bush with around a page and a half of writing and just get to it.Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa1985
You certainly don't bang on like me.
I would go with false !
There is someone out there for everyone you just have to find the right one to settle down with. Some women like bad boys and some like good boys, just the same way as some dude's like blonds and some like brunettes!
I also wanted to add that I think that mainly it is the younger women who go for the bad boy jerks that are referred to earlier in this thread. I think at some point as they mature, things change. The bad boy type no longer seems as appealing or perhaps they may be appealing to the woman but the woman changes her focus on what she wants to what she needs. Not always but quite a lot.
I would agree 100% :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane
The younger girls seem to find the bad boys a kind of turn on, until it reaches a point in life when bills and rents need to be paid and start thinking of having kids and settling down etc, then from what I have seen in life the bad boys become the losers !
To be honest who cares? If you can't be yourself in a relationship without mutual respect and both partners putting equal in, well then time to go! Fck bad boys and good guys. Be yourself if the women / bloke don't like it well then bye.
Of course totally contradicting myself. This doesn't allways work! Sometimes you just have to have that mystery and challenge.. as said in my previous posts. Up to you which stance you take.
O yeah Chuff thanks for the comment about my collar bones. One was broken in Judo by a British team member + I have overdeveloped side delts rather than my upper pecs which I so badly need to work on :( But can't much because my rotator cuff.
A HUGE resounding NO!! Well, at least not for me. From what I've seen though, I think it might be true for a fling, but when it comes down to it, if its for the long run... the nice guys win.
For the long run, nice guys definitely win!! No doubt!
Nice guys definitely win...
In the end the bad guys well you know what tey end up with the bad women...
That's right a lot of people say the bad boys get all the girls and this can be true, but it depends what you mean by bad boys.
The best way to be and there is no doubt about this, it is best to be a nice guy who has his own life. All you need is a life of your own which is full and squeeze your girlfriend in whae you ca. Make her a part of your life like every other part of it and your nice guy attitude will win her over.
People say bad guys get all the girls because what normally happens is the bad guy is a bit of a creep and therefore doent want to see her all the time and would rather hang with mates and so fourth meaning the girl chases him more, but because he yells and rants a lot girls adventually get sick of the treatment and fine a gut who hads a life and treats them well...
True in the beginning (ages oh 16-25 give or take)... Then False after that because the bad boy streak is out of the ladies that was in them in the beginning... Nice guys do win in the end.
[QUOTE=zooropa1985]Ok just a wee example.
Boy makes a silly stupid but ultimately harmless mistake, tries to say sorry and gets dumped.
She didn't really want to be with him anyway. The mistake he made was just an excuse for her to dump him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa1985
She has emotional problems and feels that she doesn't deserve to be treated good.
If you can't be yourself in a relationship why bother being in that relationship?
The problem is with some people of either sex if they become to clingy, dependent, needy then the relationship is over in allot of cases. Some people are confused with this being a nice guy.
A nice guy is someone who has his own life away from his GF. Who is there for her when she needs him but doesn't let her life evolve around his. If it does this is unhealthy!
Be happy in yourself first. Work on your issues. If your so insecure, then sort it out!
I think I have fallen into the trap of being a 'nice guy' - and it hasn't done me any favours!
I tend not to realise until after a breakup that I have done it. It's not intentional, but I am a naturally caring person. This ultimately turns me into Mr Nice Guy, who texts all the time, and worries about her all the time. After the break up, I realise - but it's too late!
One day I will learn my lesson! One fine day! LOL
Nice guys are really cool, but I don't know why they're so hard to find.
I mean, I wish I could be interested in a guy who turns out to be Mr Nice Guy, but this never happens. :rolleyes: Or maybe is it just me?
LOL I would never break up with a nice guy who's really nice, but as I said, they're hard to find... It's true though.
Shame you live so far away :)Quote:
Originally Posted by kristynn
HahaQuote:
Originally Posted by cld1979
Thanks...
I'll come there if things don't get "better" up here :p
I know eh, kind of sad really.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cld1979
I used to think I was trapped by my own 'nice guy' personality but came to realise that it was a good thing. I have also learned the difference between good and nice and the importance of balance. Being yourself is the best thing to be as long as it is good. Why change something that is good? If people can't accept what is good, then what does that make them? At best, someone who is a poor judge of character or trapped by making poor choices.
Being a nice guy does not mean being a doormat either, although I admit that I had fallen victim to this in the past. Learning more about yourself and other people helps you grow and learn that you just won't accept that. You deserve better and being a nice guy won't hold you back.
Why not consider yourself a rare prize that is waiting to go to the right winner?
The truth is, this probably is the case (if you really do hold the characteristics you think you do). That comes with a sense of arrogance which must be balanced by realising also that no one is perfect including oneself and with this in mind, it is also important not to pre-judge others and to accept faults in others and appreciate them for who they are too.
When I mentioned that more than half of what molds a man into what he is, is determined by what a woman wants people laughed at me. Because of the fact that women are so into the bad guy we have a increase number of "bad Guys". No knock on women, but if they simply refuse to accept these bad guys then the nice guys could possibly finish first, and women will no longer need to say, where are all the good men.
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