Start at the. Beginning, we were set up and it was awesome from the get go, she is married and they were separated for 7 months and she had dated a couple people, she said it was all over and they just haven't filed yet, he didn't even know where she moved to, just didn't care that she even left.well we hit it off huge it was incredible I fell so deeply in love with her , and she stated the same , everything we did together was awesome. So 6 months of this and it just kept getting deeper and better,( I am no stud in bed and had my concerns I was not satisfying her as much as she did me) she said she has orgasmed and just does not every time because she is uncomfy with herself. Beside that it was incredible... Then her hubby hears how happy she is doing and starts to beg for her to return... so she started having questions,and I tried to be there for her and tell her if she has unanswered questions she needs to figure them out, she decided she needed to try her marriage again,oh they have a little girl together and I love her asmuch. Any how I agree to let her go and we break up, about a month later ,keep in mind she still texted me and came by to see me, but we did nothing sexually, you wouldnr do that to her or him... She comes back to me saying she made a mistake and does not want to be with him. Wants me, well that was what I was looking for, but it only lasted a week before she called me and said she needs to give him a fair try and do it without contacting me, it broke me. I agreed and let her go , 4 days go by and she calls and said she cannot be without me and she is going to tell him it over , I went back again , a couple weeks go by and it was great, fun and all , then she started getting a lol stand off ish and distant, her marriage anniversary, I gave her space.. she then told me about how he asked her to come back, and she told him she would if he went to marriage counseling, that killed me , broke my hearty I could not understand how she could say that to him... Let alone tell me about it, well the next day we talked and she said she was so confused and needs time to find herself, and I was her soulmate and she loves me more than anything and knows one day we will be together, she just has to fix herself... its been a week I have broken off all comm and feel bad I can't be there for her , but it hurts, and she texted me today just to ask how I was and tell me she was thinking of me.. I miss her but I don't want to go through this anymore it really is breaking me.

I'm OK with her going through mine whenever she wants to, is it bad to want to?

What are you looking for?

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Originally Posted by ItsNotImportant

What are you looking for?

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Our relationshipwas awesome, if you read my other question of if I am doing the right thing, its called she was every thing bit mine, it goes into. Detail of what we r going
Through. But I never wanted to, then we weresitting on the couch and she was facebookin and she got a text and I made a joke of it being Mr right and she shielded it from me, so I said let me see andshe refused said its her privacy..

Got to be honest bud, it's hard to follow your train of thought. The main thing here is TRUST. If you can't trust her, you've got a bigger problem and you will drive yourself insane. Also, she might see it as being possessive, controlling or insecure. Be a man and put trust into your relationship. Talk to her about your trust issues and if she doesn't want to listen, well then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship.

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Originally Posted by ItsNotImportant

Gotta be honest bud, it's hard to follow your train of thought. The main thing here is TRUST. If you can't trust her, you've got a bigger problem and you will drive yourself insane. Also, she might see it as being possessive, controlling or insecure. Be a man and put trust into your
relationship. Talk to her about your trust issues and if she doesn't want to listen, well then it's time to re-evaluate your relationship.

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Great advice much appreciated, the thoughts did not come from no where , she has left me twice, long story, never had a single doubt or mistrust of her before that, I made no more of a big deal of it when she said no, I even felt like a tool , so I did just let it go, and Ty for the help.

Can't you see that you're just her insurance policy? She's calling you and confessing her love but shows to action because she's just trying to keep you around, just in case her marriage doesn't work out.

Have a bit of self respect and stop letting her pull you around. Stop contacting her and move on. Find someone who cares about you as much as you care about them.

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

Can't you see that you're just her insurance policy? She's calling you and confessing her love but shows to action because she's just trying to keep you around, just in case her marriage doesn't work out.

Have a bit of self respect and stop letting her pull you around. Stop contacting her and move on. Find someone who cares about you as much as you care about them.

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Ty it is in plain site but it seemed so real... and so great, I do love her with all my heart and really do want to be with her... I know I am doing myself no justice and it really does suck, I just need time.. I broke it off with her last week and have been struggling since , I am feeling better and appreciate the advice.. I am not contacting her, should I just ignore her texts, I feel bad and rude doing such...

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Originally Posted by ooohrah

Ty it is in plain site but it seemed so real...and so great, I do love her with all my heart and really do want to be with her... I know I am doing myself no justice and it really does suck, I just need time.. I broke it off with her last week and have been struggling since , I am feeling better and appreciate the advice.. I am not contacting her,, should I just ignore her texts, I feel bad and rude doing such...

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I'm not saying that she doesn't love you or care about you, I just think she's a woman who has no idea what she wants and is trying to cover all her bases.

After breaking it off it's not rude nor bad to ignore. It's the best thing to do. It allows the both of you to move on properly and forget about one another.

Eventually you'll feel much better and the love will fade. Just distract yourself and your mind with friends and activities. You'll find someone else, you just need time to help you heal.

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

I'm not saying that she doesn't love you or care about you, I just think she's a woman who has no idea what she wants and is trying to cover all her bases.

After breaking it off it's not rude nor bad to ignore. It's the best thing to do. It allows the both of you to move on properly and forget about one another.

Eventually you'll feel much better and the love will fade. Just distract yourself and your mind with friends and activities. You'll find someone else, you just need time to help you heal.

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Ty great advice... I keep putting hope into this boxthat she will fix herself and come back.. but I am slowly starting to see this is a fantasy.

I know this answer and am just looking for a different one ;(. We have been together for almost a yr, and it has been so intense, I know she loves me. And I am head over heals in love with her, she is married and was separated for almost a yr when we got together, she has left me before to try her marriage again and did this twice, then this last time I started to get signals and I broke it off with her, she told me she is in love with.me and I am her sosoulmate, and she want to be with me but needs to fix herlife first. And she is sick of hurting me, she said she needs time to work on herself, I have been committed to her and it has really broken my heart, I have broke contact and am trying to avoid all situations and about a week went by and she tested me asking if I was OK , like a fool I responded, I told her I was fine and she will be and. For her to keep going. I want to be there for her , and I am worried she will find someone new, that will crush me. I am beginning to feel better I am functioning now , but I still miss her she was not only the love of my life she was my best friend , and everything we did together was great, and fun , how can she say she is in love with me, but not want to be with me. I would never do this? What should I do? Andty spiralling out of hope.

I have recently broken up with who I thought was. The love of my life, she needs tome to work on herself , and she knows we r soulmates and knows we will get back together, these r her words... I am looking for a real answer and have been blaming myself, I am curious to if bad sex is a deal breaker, I have made her have an O from what she has said, but there have been many a times were I haven't, I am inexperienced for my age I'm 37 I have not gotten around , she has had a lot more relations than I, I'm no Jon Holmes , I feel my size is a lol smaller han the norm, and. That may be me, she said she is not comfy with her own body is the reason she just can't sometimes. Is this a deal breaker even if the rest of our relationship was great, an? Feeling inadequate!

She wants to keep you as a safety net when her marriage does not work. That is not fair to her. If she is to ever make her marriage work, you have to be totally not a option.

Break it off, no contact what so ever, change phone numbers if you have to, and move on.

Ouch. Ty. Not fair to her, Not fair to me either ;(.

She has just texted me!asking me a question about work, this is the second time she has texted me since we split, I answered her last time what do I do! I want to answer her. This sucks... Should I stay no contact.

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Originally Posted by ooohrah

She has just texted me!asking me a question about work, this is the second time she has texted me since we split, I answered her last time what do I do! I want to answer her. This sucks... Should I stay no contact.

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For your own sanity bro, just don't reply.

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Originally Posted by ItsNotImportant

For your own sanity bro, just don't reply.

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Ty

I have gone silent , she texted me several times, once she drunk texted me and said she wants to be with me,and I didn't respond, now a week later she has texted me asking how long till we can talk again,and just be friends ,I am jealous of all these other people who can talk and see you but because we likes each other a Lil more we can't?
Here is my story , I was set up with her from a mutual friend, come to find out she was married they were separated for almost a yr when I met her, she said it was over just never filed, so I dated her and we hit it off huge, well
Idid, I fell totally head over heels, 6 more months go by her hubby hears she is happy, hestarts apologizing and begging her to come back, and she did, and did this twice to me... We got back a 3rd time and it was great I thought, she then started withdrawing again and made a couple comments about being confused and so I broke it off, its been a couple weeks and I've kept silent, getting occasional texts from her asking if I was OK and if I was feeling better, and Saturday 3days ago she was drunk texting me saying she misses me and stuff, now today she is texting asking how long till we can talk and be friends again she really misses me,, I don't know if I could be just friends , I am still totally in love with her, all I can see is pain there, what do I do, Should I text her back and break silence and tell her I can't be just friends because I have to many feelings for her, do I just stay silent, her texts are getting more frequent... help me plzzzzz...

She still has connections to her husband apparently, but likes to keep you around, for what I can't say. On again off again just doesn't work for any one. Let it be and let her get on with her life in and out with her husband, who she may not want to divorce at this particular time. What else can you do? Your gut is telling you there is no future and I think you are doing the right thing with no contact. Can you move on and do better? Yes, probably.

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Originally Posted by tickle

She still has connections to her husband apparently, but likes to keep you around, for what I can't say. On again off again just doesnt work for any one. Let it be and let her get on with her life in and out with her husband, who she may not want to divorce at this particular time. What else can you do? Your gut is telling you there is no future and i think you are doing the right thing with no contact. Can you move on and do better? Yes, probably.

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Ty as far as better,I don't know. Lol at least right now, this was so intense , I am 38 and divorced , and I have nev er connected with another person like we did, it felt so right.
.. She was my best friend ,and I could not imagine not having her around... But I know all there is is pain, I'm just grasping for hope... Even know there isn't any, just a process I guess. Ty for your response.