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-   -   If she got upset? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=637645)

  • Feb 20, 2012, 05:41 PM
    Asilotras
    If she got upset?
    Hello. I'm 25 year old she is 35. We met each other with help of ours common friend. She is divorced, and she has daughter. We know each other like 1 month. But we talked to each other 1 time for 3-4 days. And this Saturday, I went with her to a club which it was our second meet with her. She got drunken fast. I take her to my house and called taxi but she slept, and I woke her up, we kissed, then she slept again. I opened her cloths, but I felt its not nice, I didn't touch her. When she wake up she got angry because she saw her cloths open, but she didn't mind much when I apologized she said its OK don't make drama you are a man its normal. Then we kissed and waited for taxi to come. I let her to go home. Then gave a call whether she got home safe or not. She answered very sweet and said thanks to me for lovely night.

    Tomorrow when I woke up, I texted her to see how she is. She answered so dry. **I'm OK thanks ** but before she was greeting asking me how I am. Anyway I let 5 hours then texted her that what is wrong she didn't answer. And plus I made a comment to her picture in the Facebook she liked everyone's comment except mine. Then I send her a message by mistaken with her name was on it. But it was different language. Turkish it was to my Turkish friend.

    After that night I checked my Facebook I saw that she limited my vision to her profile. But she didn't deleted me nor blocked me. I called her she didn't answer I send a message. Now guys what do you think? Does she wants to play about? Or she don't want me?
  • Feb 20, 2012, 05:59 PM
    DoulaLC
    I think you shouldn't contact her again. You have tried several times, she knows that you are wanting to talk to her, so now let her make that decision. Perhaps she is embarrassed about her behavior when you went out and afterwards. Of course it would have been better if you had not opened her clothes, or at least would have closed them back. You took advantage of the situation and I don't blame her if she is upset. You hardly know each other. It looks like she is not wanting to move too fast and is limiting contact.

    Don't get caught up in playing games with her. Leave her alone, go out with your friends, and see if she contacts you at some point.
  • Feb 20, 2012, 06:47 PM
    mmresd
    This much drama and you have gone out with her twice? My advise would be to drop it. If she wants to hear from you again she will text. Stop contacting her in anyway and continue living your life.
  • Feb 21, 2012, 09:44 AM
    Asilotras
    Is there any help?

    DoulaLc

    Your answer is the one what I think. I was a bit drunk as well so you know when you drunk your body more sexual. I texted her to let her know that I ll respect her decision and is she wants cut contact she could tell me this. I won't disturb her anymore. Do you think I should invite her out for lunch weekend? Because this is my mistake and I want to explain

    And don't u think if she wanted cut contact totally she would delete me from friendship. And Doula LC after I opened her cloth and she got abgry she calmed down and said she wnt to keep me in her life. She said that I give her attention and she likes this and she needs attention. Can't we count this as good sign ?
  • Feb 21, 2012, 10:11 AM
    odinn7
    No, you can't count it as a good sign because she had been drinking. When she sobered up, maybe she thought about it a little more and decided against the whole thing.

    Also, you say you won't disturb her anymore but then you ask if you should invite her to lunch. If she doesn't want to talk to you, she doesn't want to talk to you.

    I think for the amount of time you've invested in this, you're much better off forgetting about the whole thing and moving on. You went out with her 2 times and look at the mess already? Do you think it's going to get better? Not likely.
  • Feb 21, 2012, 12:49 PM
    Asilotras
    odinn7

    Thanks for your response. But everyone can do mistakes even there is big mistakes in the relationship and can be corrected by time. And I don't see so much mess there its normal I wanted to have sex she was in my bed. And the reason inviting her is I don't know what's is problem at all. And in my last text I said her that if she want to cut contact just all she need just tell me. I don't want to drag into this love games. But she didn't answer. Don't u think if she really don't want just she can text me that ** sorry but there is nothing left or bla bla ** ad wll move on without saying any word??
  • Feb 21, 2012, 01:04 PM
    odinn7
    I would say that the fact that she isn't responding at all is her message that she doesn't want contact anymore. Take it as such and let it go.
  • Feb 21, 2012, 02:13 PM
    DoulaLC
    I agree... don't contact her anymore. You have already told her to contact you, so now it is up to her. If she is interested, or becomes interested later at some point, she knows how to get in touch with you.
  • Feb 21, 2012, 04:02 PM
    Asilotras
    DoulaLC

    Thanks. No invite for lunch this weekend?
  • Feb 21, 2012, 04:15 PM
    DoulaLC
    I wouldn't push it. If you feel that she has backed off, then she would likely become annoyed if you keep after her.

    If she is interested, she will eventually contact you. If she isn't interested, you won't hear from her... and if she is playing games, better for you not to get involved in something like that anyway. Who needs the drama?

    Find a nice girl who wants to spend time with you.
  • Feb 21, 2012, 04:27 PM
    Asilotras
    Thanks so much :) then I won't

    DoulaLC

    But you know when I think about her I think I don't give up so early. I'm sure she don't know me well enough. If your advice is NC rule it is OK. But I want to get her after sometime again. I want her in mylife. What would you advise for that?
  • Feb 21, 2012, 05:14 PM
    odinn7
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Asilotras View Post

    what would u advise for that?

    Honestly... give it up man. Everyone here has said give it up and you say 'ok, but... '

    Just give it up and walk away.
  • Feb 21, 2012, 05:25 PM
    DoulaLC
    You've known her a month and met with her twice. The second meeting didn't end so well. She doesn't answer or return your calls, or attempts to contact her. By your own admission, you don't know each other so well, but you already know that you want her in your life??

    If you can't let it go, how about you give it one month. Don't contact her. No phone calls, no Facebook messages, no text, nothing.

    If she contacts you, fine, go out again. If she doesn't, then you know she is not interested.
  • Feb 21, 2012, 05:37 PM
    Asilotras
    Doula LC

    Thanks. Yeah my decision a bit stupid. I don't know her well I think I want her because she is hot and pretty. But yeah you are right I agree, I should give her time. Because I asked her in the message to make up her mind and give me one proper answer. So I gave her all she need, if she wants to contact she know what she need to do. Right?
  • Feb 22, 2012, 02:05 PM
    Asilotras
    GUYS help please

    She called me today and she was angry and asked to leave her alone otherwise she is gone report to police about me. What the **** does that mean? Do u think she has problems? Misbehaving?
  • Feb 22, 2012, 02:21 PM
    DoulaLC
    Asilotras... just leave her alone now. Do not return her calls, or answer any text, or anything else. Delete her from your Facebook. You went out a couple of times, it didn't work out, that's the end of it.

    Honestly, I think you are much better off that this has ended. Now spend time with your friends and family, and sooner or later you will meet a nice girl, who will probably be more mature and stable than this 35 year old appears to be.

    Consider yourself lucky, forget about her, and move on.
  • Feb 22, 2012, 02:40 PM
    Asilotras
    Doula LC

    Thank u. Yeah I already moved on. No way to back to her. As you said who needs drama?:) u know but I want figure out something in order not to make mistakes in future. Yeah I know my mistake was insisting too much. She got scraed. But in my last text I asked her if she don't want all shd need just send me one sentence, I won't call or text anymore. I ll respect. She didn't but what she did today. Police bla bla. It is like she told me ten times but I still insisting. Don't u think she is mis behaving? And she is not mature enough ?
  • Feb 22, 2012, 02:49 PM
    odinn7
    You probably got to the point of being annoying to her. The simple fact that she wasn't answering you at all was plenty of indication that she was done with you. Just leave her alone now and forget about her.
  • Feb 22, 2012, 02:53 PM
    Asilotras
    Odinn 7

    Thanks. Yeah I ll. But I need to be ready for defense. As doula LC mentioned do you think she ll call me back when ll calm down and feel alone?
  • Feb 22, 2012, 02:56 PM
    odinn7
    I think she is done talking to you for good. I also worry for you that you can't seem to get over this after only a month and 2 dates, one of which turned out fairly poorly. You seem to understand what we're saying yet at the same time, you keep asking if it will be OK to talk to her at some point in the future. Just completely forget about her and find someone else. Don't worry about if it will be OK to talk to her when she calms down. Don't worry about if she might call you some time. Save yourself and give it up.

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