It seems like she is having a better time with the NC. I always get the urge to message her and I have a feeling she doesn't really care. It's been 2 weeks with NC, but 5 months since the break up. I'm missing her too much. Why don't they ever give a second chance :(. I have accepted it's over though, but I don't know, I feel like NC is hurting me more than her and I didn't even tell her I'm going NC. Seems like she doesn't even care, why do I? I asked her to stay and she didn't listen. Every night I cry myself to sleep thinking why does this happen to me? But it's over. She's gone. I'll guess I'll just keep dreaming with this broken heart. I just don't know how I can move on when I'm still in love with her. Any guidance from the experts? I miss our memories, I miss the taste of her breath, I miss holding her. She's over me, yet I still can't hate her. This is so gay. I'm supposed to be a man, why can't I just get over her already? She's made it very clear that she will never pursue a relationship with me again yet I just can't let her go. :( What's wrong with me?

Well your hurt for starters so that's why its so hard to get over her. You don't know exactly how she is feeling unless she told you herself. Maybe she is hurting also. But if she did say there is no chance of starting over then with time you need to accept it and move on. It will get easier. I know its hard to think that right now but it will. Try to get out and mingle more with friends or meet new people. Keep doing NC and find something to pass your time. I find myself coming here to vent and its great.

You are human, and you are hurting. Nothing is wrong with you. Two weeks of NC is NOTHING! It takes months, maybe even a year to get over someone whom you deeply care for. Get yourself busy and build a life that you enjoy, without her in it. The rest takes care of itself. It is hard, no doubt the hardest thing you will ever have done (was for me), but you will make it through this. Patience, time, effort, determination and flat out will power make it possible.

The emotions will continue to flow, let them, but don't let that control your actions. Live for yourself.

Thanks guys. Advice helped lift my mood a bit. I will live for myself, done trying to get her back. That's so last month lol

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wontgohomewou

Thanks guys. Advice helped lift my mood a bit. I will live for myself, done trying to get her back. That's so last month lol

---

Come to us if your falling back. We can talk to you, yell at you or slap you silly.

No contact isn't supposed to be easy. That's where willpower comes into play.

Things like this happen, the important thing to remember is your not dead, therefore it's not the end. Let the emotions come out, it will do more good to let them out then hold them in.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Come to us if your falling back. We can talk to you, yell at you or slap you silly.

---

The problem is that I KEEP GETTING banned for Alias Abuse. I'm not here to cause any trouble and I really only have one account. I don't know how to fix this problem

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Things like this happen, the important thing to remember is it's not the your not dead, therefore it's not the end. Let the emotions come out, it will do more good to let them out then hold them in.

---

I do let them out. Hah I vent to my friends when I'm sad at times and thankfully they have been there for me. I just wish my family was there too. All they say is get over it. None of them have actually been in love. Not even my parents, they had an arranged marriage. Never clicked.

I won't lie, it SUCKS big time to do no contact... sucks big time to have your heart broken... it all is awful, but it really does help shape you into an adult. You are going to have to "get over this" but it obviously takes time and a lot of it.

It's an emotional detox, you had an addiction. You got used to being around someone everyday, talking to them, becoming each other's best friend. Then it's cut off, in an instant. You experience, loss, confusion, desolate, all of these powerful emotions all at once. It's an instant shock to your system, it will take time to recover

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kctiger

I won't lie, it SUCKS big time to do no contact...sucks big time to have your heart broken...it all is awful, but it really does help shape you into an adult. You are going to have to "get over this" but it obviously takes time and a lot of it.

---

You got that right. I learned so much about myself after the break up. It helped me become a WAY better person. At first all I did was cry about how I lost her, and then I realized that I can go out and get a girl easily, I'm a good looking dude lol. That just rose my self-esteem and confidence through the roof. BUT for some reason I still begged and pleaded her to take me back. I thought she loved me, so obviously I thought I still had a chance. After 3 months of doing this I had enough. I realized that I lost self-respect acting this way, I value myself more than anyone and by doing this I was only degrading myself. So begging stopped. Two weeks ago I finally had enough and decided to go NC, no word from her at all yet. I don't go on her Facebook profile, made a new sn and didn't tell her or anyone she knows about it, and I try avoiding all of her friends. The only downside is that I randomly miss her, and it hurts a lot. It hurts to think about the stuff she said to me and how she loves me but doesn't want me. I did make up my mind though that I prob won't ever be friends with her not even when I'm married. If I see her in school I'm just going to ignore her (she's going to be living 5 doors down from me), and I'm seriously done dying over a girl who has no interest in thinking about me anymore. Eff some girls, they're so cold-hearted.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

It's an emotional detox, you had an addiction. You got used to being around someone everyday, talking to them, becoming each other's best friend. Then it's cut off, in an instant. You experience, loss, confusion, desolate, all of these powerful emotions all at once. It's an instant shock to your system, it will take time to recover

---

Well it has been 5 months since the break up, 3 since we last kissed. I just can't believe you lost attraction to someone in a matter of 3 months. Honestly, I'm a lot better than when it first happened. Last time I cried was a month ago, I'm getting better. I'm meeting new girls, but none have caught my eye yet. I can't wait to go back to PSU. I know I'll find another amazing girl there.

There will come a point in time in your healing that you will actually thank her for doing this, trust me. This happens, this break up stuff. It is life, and life is what it is. Months down the line, you won't hold anger for her at all.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wontgohomewou

The problem is that I KEEP GETTING banned for Alias Abuse. I'm not here to cause any trouble and I really only have one account. I don't know how to fix this problem

---

I would strongly suggest you contact Curlyben, and try to straighten your issues out, before you go further. Alias abuse is a very big deal.

Well, I went through a pretty messed up break up. One day at random I got dumped. Didn't see it coming, but that's because I was dumb and naïve. A week before the break up she said she wanted 'space' and I didn't really know what that meant since she was my first. Well, I've been NC for only 10 days, 6 months since break up, and sometimes I get the urge to talk to her when things in my life are going wrong. But then I remember what she said to me just a month ago, 'Do you just look for sympathy when things aren't going well with your life?'. Haha, no more like comfort.

Well my Askmehelpdesk friends, I will not be seeing her until Aug 22. When school starts again. She lives on the same floor as me and it is way too late to change to anything decent. By then I will be NC with her for 2 months and some days. When I see her, should I say hi? I honestly don't want to. She kind of broke my heart and I don't really want to be her friend(did I answer my question here?). Most of my friends are saying to just be mature about it and say hi if she says it. I want to know what you guys think, I don't really think she deserves my kindness after everything that happened. Suggestions would be awesome! Thanks.

If you pass her in the hall, ( tough call) since you will stll see her ( a level of contact) Personally I would not say anything but as long as it is just hi and you keep walking.

The reason for no contact is to allow you time to get over it.

My mum had a saying - "Kill them with kindness." It's obvious to me that you have yet to move on with your own life, because you are still harboring some kind of feelings of retribution towards your ex.

Look, you broke up six months ago, yet you stayed in contact up until just over a week ago? That, in and of itself, shows her that you aren't willing to figure out your own life. What do you expect from her? Comfort and support whenever you need it? Even in a relationship, this kind of neediness can lead to quite a bit of stress.

I think you should stop worrying about what's going to happen in August and focus on what you're doing with your life right now. Go hang out with friends, don't talk about your ex, don't say "yeah I know how that goes, I had this ex..." or anything like that. Remove her from your life. That means all the social sites, the phone numbers, the mutual friends, everything. Only then will you heal.

You won't listen of course, because you'll have to go through it yourself like the rest of us did. I don't mind typing it out though, because it might help you to look back later on, once you have hit rock bottom, and gain some insight later.

Oh, and as far as when you do have to see her again - a simple smile and a nod of your head as you walk by will show her that you respect her, but don't need her in your life. That's probably all she really wants, too.

~ Tee

Well yeah, I'm definitely not completely moved on. It's not like I think about her all the time though. Random things just make me naturally think about her. Being sick definitely makes me think about her.

About my relationship: Broke up 6 months ago(I got dumped obviously), begged her for 4 more, eventually reduced my contact with her, stopped completely for a couple days in late May, needed some closure in June, got my closure and haven't talked to her since. I wish I found this website earlier though, I might have been better by now.

I really don't expect anything from her. It's just a matter of missing someone when you shouldn't. Like when I had hard times, I used to go to her, now there is absolutely no one to talk to and it kind of sucks. I rarely have bad times though, so its not like I killed her with my problems.

About my life now, yeah I am enjoying it, I really am. I'm taking summer classes with a few buds(we're nerds) and I ride my motorcycle occasionally with a bunch of buddies. Hanging out with my brothers and a couple more people. I do like life, but it doesn't mean I don't miss my ex. It's going to take a little more time to move on, but I know I can do it and it's not like I'm crying over her anymore. I grew some balls the past couple weeks, and it feels good.

Your advice about removing her out of my life is good. I started already. 10 days ago I removed her from Facebook, aim, phone, basically everything you can think of.

I think I already hit rock bottom. That was the phase where I couldn't go anywhere without crying or thinking about her. I'm way passed that. I talk to other girls now and I really an enjoying life. Just last night I went to an ATB concert and got a phone number :D. It's just I don't know what to do when I see her. I am completely comfortable with ignoring her. I will have no regrets, but I want to know what the right thing to do is. I'm not at the point where I can be friends with her and not fall back in love with her.

You say to just give her a simple smile and nod at her. I don't get why. Why should I give her what she wants when she won't give me what I want? Why should I even acknowledge her? KCtiger says that your ex should be dead to you the second you break up, shouldn't I continue this in person as well? I do value your opinion, but isn't it satisfying her just a bit too much?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wontgohomewou

You say to just give her a simple smile and nod at her. I don't get why. Why should I give her what she wants when she won't give me what I want? Why should I even acknowledge her? KCtiger says that your ex should be dead to you the second you break up, shouldn't I continue this in person as well? I do value your opinion, but isn't it satisfying her just a bit too much?

---

You give her a simple smile and a nod because you are a better person. It's not about giving someone what they do or do not deserve. A stranger on the street can get a smile and a nod; it doesn't make her special, you're just acknowledging that she exists and that you aren't petty enough to hold a grudge.

In essence, it's a declaration of your maturity. Who cares if she deserves it or not? You should take the high road and be friendly. I had an ex lie to me, cheat on me, and even steal from me. If I ever happen to see her again, you know what I'll do?

Exactly what I told you to do, that's what ;)

~ Tee