All right so, my boyfriend and me have been so in love. I can tell by the way he looks at me that he loves me. Recently we've been fighting a little I guess and he;s been making bad choices such as smoking weed and ish. Well I told him maybe we should take a break until he is the guy who he wants to be. Well... after that conversation he said he doesn't deserve me and he doesn't want to bring me down. Today he told me that he just wants to take a break and have some space...
What does this mean?
He siad he's been making bad choices and he needs space? I'm just really confused and hurt!!

It means one of two things:

1) he wants to break up but calling it a break is nicer and causes less drama
2) he wants to nail someone else while keeping you on the line and do it without the stigma of cheating (a la Ross on Friends)

I think he just needed to tell you something to get you to leave him alone so he can make all the bad choices he wants without any consequence from you.

How old are you two? He sounds pretty immature. I would dare my boyfriend to say something like that after I tell him he's messing up.

Don't give him any space. Just nag and nag a nag until he starts acting right or gets out of the relationship. If he decides to leave you because he can't change his ways, then good! At least you'll know he wasn't worth it.

Haha I'm sixteen and he's seventeen.
But today he texted me like " ive been thinking of you"
And then the other day he asked who iwas with and I said my friend mike and he's like OK I'm out.
I don't know
I asked if he wanted to do this just to get with other girls nad he's like noooo don't worry about that

So either
He's honest and really ist rying to change

Or he's a pretty good damn liar

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Well I told him maybe we should take a break until he is the guy who he wants to be

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He made his choice, you lose.

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he told me that he just wants to take a break and have some space...

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You lose again, even though he is just doing what you started.

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what does this mean?

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It means the same as when you told him about taking a break.

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and then the other day he asked who iwas with and I said my friend mike and he's like OK I'm out.

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He is checking up on you and making you pay for asking for a break, which was just your way of changing his bad habits, so now you have to pay, because he chose his habits over you.

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I asked if he wanted to do this just to get with other girls nad he's like noooo don't worry about that

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So of course you will worry about that

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so either
He's honest and really ist rying to change

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Don't be dumb, he is having a great time knowing your suffering.

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or he's a pretty good damn liar

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All of the above, as he doesn't have you spoiling his fun, because sooner or later you will take him back and won't nag him about a break again, or his habits.

You started this break thing and he is determined to finish it. Did you think he was going to give up what he enjoys for you??

I agree with Tal (sorry buddy, had to spread the rep).

He wants to smoke weed and have fun more than he wants a relationship with you.

By asking for a break he's accomplishing two things;

1. making you miss him.
2. making you miss him to the point that you accept his bad habits, take him back and deal with it.

Accept the break, go out, have fun, find someone else. You're 16, chances are this won't last forever anyway, better to cut your losses now.

Hi. I think what he is trying to tell you is that he wants some space, to live his life as a single guy. It sounds like you are a teen/young adult. If so, it's fair to say he just wants to be young and have fun right now. I don't think you can judge if a guy is in love with you by the way he looks into your eyes. Yes, you will get that butterfly feeling and all, but if he is in love with you, you won't have to question it, you will just know and he will say something.

The best thing you can do right now is to give him his space. Go off an hang with your girlfriends. Family, whoever to keep yourself busy and do things you enjoy doing. It will be hard at first, and you will want to call him etc but respect his space. Guys love independent girls. Girls who can respect the space thing. If it's meant to be after he does his thing forawhile, he will come back, but in the meantime you shouldn't sit there and wait. Life is too short, and too many guys in the world. It's 2009, maybe he just wants a new start.

If he wants to make those choices that you don't agree with, it sounds like you two aren't meant to be anyway. Good luck.

Give him space.

Yeah well after all this ish we hungout yesterady
He told me he still loves me blah balh blah and seeing me hurt kills him insde


I gues after this whole thing ir ealizeid how much I took forgranted of him.


But were still not back together :/

Y boyfriend. He said he needed a break to figure things out. And how he thinks he doenst give me the attention I deserve. I never text him untilh e texts me first I don't want to be weird and clingy. He'll text me saying he's thinking about me and stuff. We hungout yesterday. And he told me he still loved me and all that stuff, and how when he saw me hurt it killed him inside.
So I don't know how long breaks last. But jeeze don't they wear you down? I feel like complete all the time. I can't even be happy I'm always thiking about him


I don't know what to doooo

Give him a break... that is exactly what you do. It kills him to see you hurting, yet he wants a break to sort things out... that makes sense. Leave him alone, and carry on with YOUR life, as he obviously doesn't want to be with you right now. Sorry for the bad news, but a break means a break up, period. Don't you think it a bit unfair he strings you along while he decides whether he can give you enough attention to date you?

Yes its ridiculas. He thinks he can do what he wants. And sometimes he'll text me asking who I'm with, one day I said my friend mike. And he was like okay I'm out peace. I just really want to know what's going threw his mind? Are we going to get back together or what?

How do I act when school starts up again?

You act like someone who doesn't play games, that is it. When you go back to school, let him know you aren't one to be toyed around with... that is that.

Break almost always leads to a breakup. People use it to ease into not being with the other person anymore.

Work on yourself in this time. There are some stickies around here that will help you get through this mess.

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He's not sure if he loves you trust me it happened to me.. then my girlfriend started talking to another guy and the thought of her wit someone else killed me. That's when I found out that I was going crazy with out her... now we have been back togather for 2 years and we are living togather happier than ever.. so if you want to see if he still wants to be with you start hanging around a guy a lot like maybe a good friend or someone you know that you won't fall for and watch your ex boyfriends reaction I bet he does not want that break as much as he thinks he does... he will find out that he wants to be wit you more than ever.

Becareful you don't fall for the other guy though...

Clearly he's having issues. I think he's kind enough not to drag you into it. It doesn't mean he is having affairs or you are not good enough for him. He likes you but doesn't want you to be involved in his mess.

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Originally Posted by lankie

hes not sure if he loves you trust me it happened to me.. then my girlfriend started talking to another guy and the thought of her wit somone else killed me. thats when i found out that i was goin crazy with out her...now we have been back togather for 2 years and we are living togather happier than ever.. so if u want to see if he still wants to be with you start hanging around a guy alot like maybe a good friend or someone you know that u wont fall for and watch your ex boyfriends reaction i bet he does not want that break as much as he thinks he does...he will find out that he wants to b wit u more than ever.

becareful u dont fall for the other guy though...

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I don't think this is very good advice. What about the "other guy" you want her to use him? What about after she uses him, is she supposed to dump him if it were to workout with the ex?? How selfish and cruel is that! What about her? Is she supposed to take him back only after her ex found out she was seeing someone else? Why would you want to be with a person that wants you only when he can't have you, and when he could, didn't.

You have to understand that there is not much you can do to get him back. The only one who can make up his mind is himself. And there is no point in wasting your time trying to get him back as anything you do will more than likely just push him farther and farther away. These silly games will only cause you and others more pain. Instead of that, start getting used to living your life without him in it. Go back to being that person you were before him and start to heal so you can move on. If he decides that he wants you back in the future, then you will have a clear mind and decide whether it's good for you or not. But push this idea to the back of your head as it will only delay your ability to move on.

Its coo wereback together now. And all I ahd to do was play hardto gettt

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Originally Posted by SydneyEdsill

its coo wereback together now. and all i ahd to do was play hardto gettt

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I'm very glad that things worked out. However, it's very important that you address the issues that led to the breakup together otherwise they will arise once more. Good luck in everything!

Think seriously then take necessary action.