How do you know when you have in fact found that one for you? That person you where created to be with...

I for one do not believe that people are "created" to be with only one person in this world. It is crap! Think about it, if there was only ONE person in this entire world we could be with then there would be a lot of lonely people out there. The beauty of life is that there are always good people out there and there is always more than one person you would be awesome with, otherwise people wouldn't break up. Don't look for it or expect it, just let nature take its course.

Yeah I hear... I was just curious... I was just thinking about my ex... and was wondering did I mess up something that was suppose to be... you know??

No, you didn't. Quit lingering on it. Look, sometimes... matter of fact, a lot of times relationships do not work out. It is just the natural progression of life. Life will happen, no matter what. Don't dwell on the past, just learn from it. I am in the same boat you are, but I know I will be twice as happy as I ever THOUGHT I was with my ex. May not happen for awhile, but it will, and when it does, you will reailze it. You and only you matters right now. Remember that. Don't regret anything except the fact that you are so hard on yourself now.

If it was supposed to be it still would be, it's really that simple.

"The One" is the one who sticks by you through it all.. good and bad.. and you stay together and grow.

Though it stinks to get your heart broken, that really is the simplest and best answer.

I don't think you really know. I think everything happens for a reason and if you are meant to be with someone for the rest of your life... then it will happen. I still haven't found the "one".

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Originally Posted by kctiger

No, you didn't. Quit lingering on it. Look, sometimes...matter of fact, a lot of times relationships do not work out. It is just the natural progression of life. Life will happen, no matter what. Don't dwell on the past, just learn from it. I am in the same boat you are, but I know I will be twice as happy as I ever THOUGHT I was with my ex. May not happen for awhile, but it will, and when it does, you will reailze it. You and only you matters right now. Remember that. Don't regret anything except the fact that you are so hard on yourself now.

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Yeah I know... I am being so hard on myself right now... why is that?


Maybe I should have gave it more time... she had me so frustrated, and confused...

"The One" is always asked about here on the forum exactly the way you just did. People want to know when they've found "the one"... as if this is some litmus test they can figure out ahead of time.

And once again I have to point out you guys think about "The One" all backwards.

"The One" is not something you find, it's something you are. We spend so much energy on measuring and fretting and second-guessing instead of ALL that energy going into BEING the best boyfriend... then husband... a woman could ever want.

"The One" is a title YOU earn after years and years of steady selflessness, sacrificial and unconditional love, sticking it out with your mate through decades of bad crap and infidelities and failures and successes and family and OH MY GOODNESS SO MUCH.

"The One" is your greatest accomplishment. It's something you give to another person. It's not something you find in other(s). It's something you become through refinement of your character, self-denial, and hard work.

So, let's stop fretting over relationships that are supposed to be over, and start the next chapter, OK?

You have posted several questions of this nature. They all seem focused on your own pain and your own fears. How about looking out at that big world and realize there is a LOT you're supposed to be giving to it. The girl that comes and stands at your side while you're out there making the world better, that's the girl who admires "the one" she sees you being.

And that's more than just one relationship. It's a lifestyle.

The "ONE" as in the one your with, well you have to be with them over time before you know if there the one.

They are all "the one" when things are going well.

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Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

"The One" is always asked about here on the forum exactly the way you just did. People want to know when they've found "the one"...as if this is some litmus test they can figure out ahead of time.

And once again I have to point out you guys think about "The One" all backwards.

"The One" is not something you find, it's something you are. We spend so much energy on measuring and fretting and second-guessing instead of ALL that energy going into BEING the best boyfriend...then husband...a woman could ever want.

"The One" is a title YOU earn after years and years of steady selflessness, sacrificial and unconditional love, sticking it out with your mate through decades of bad crap and infidelities and failures and successes and family and OH MY GOODNESS SO MUCH.

"The One" is your greatest accomplishment. It's something you give to another person. It's not something you find in other(s). It's something you become through refinement of your character, self-denial, and hard work.

So, let's stop fretting over relationships that are supposed to be over, and start the next chapter, OK?

You have posted several questions of this nature. They all seem focused on your own pain and your own fears. How about looking out at that big world and realize there is a LOT you're supposed to be giving to it. The girl that comes and stands at your side while you're out there making the world better, that's the girl who admires "the one" she sees you being.

And that's more than just one relationship. It's a lifestyle.

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I never heard it put in that way before... Can you explain that a bit more... I need to really grasp that.

I really need to get a very good understand of that... please...

If you found The One, you don't have to ask.

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Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23

I never heard it put in that way before...Can you explain that a bit more...I need to really grasp that.

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Just repeat the theme of that post and you'll figure out what this really means all on your own.

"The One" is not something you find, it's something you are.

I believe that 'The One' (sounds like the Matrix huh?) will come to you when you least expect it- for me, my husband was my best friend and the relationship just grew from that-I always felt that he understood me better than I did, but that's just my perspective... I've been called something of a romantic... :)

Hello again :)

Damn dude you want a Book on this don't you.. you treat this.. as this is some school.. and my friend it is not.
As I said there are some things you can't teach.
We all have our own ideas and ways and views on LOVE

It is YOUR job to find out your own way in LOVE and LIFE. Now we can help and give you a few pointers.
Mine would only be
Don't have a kid yet
Don't date Flirty girls
Don't be insecue
Don't be Jelouse

But the list could go on and on. But that is just from my view. And what does not work for me might work wonders for you.

There is no Guide to a PERFECT life or a PERFECT relationship
All this comes from with in ourselves. And by that I mean
If we are not happy in ourselves we can never be happy with someone else
And that does take time and a lot of personal growth

And also
I don't believe in the one.

I do know after you have gone into lots of relationships and one girl stands out.. and loves you for who you are. Not what they can turn you into.

And will stick with you in the good time and the bad.

Then well I think that's a pretty good partner
Its what we all look for.

Some of us find it some of us wait 50 years to find it.

You are still very young to be thinking about the one.

You need to grow a lot more. And learn. Before you can really be in a true relationship

Because as JB said. And I do believe in this.
In the end. Everything comes down to You and the way you Act.

All the best

It's all about whether you believe whether fate plays a hand in dealing your mate- I do believe however, that it is the way you act,
You have to be yourself through and through- otherwise your potential mate may fall in love with who they think you are, not who you are.

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Originally Posted by spyderglass

It's all about whether you believe whether fate plays a hand in dealing your mate- I do believe however, that it is the way you act,
you have to be yourself through and through- otherwise your potential mate may fall in love with who they think you are, not who you are.

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I don't agree with being yourself. So what you are saying is if u're an a_s then be an a_s ? If this is the case then I am sure no one want to be with u. I belief you have to try to adapt to the situation. Basically you try to be the best you can to the one you love and if it doesn't work then you know you did your best. There is no such thing as the one. It all come down to how much crap you can put up with. Relationship take a lot of hard work, sacrifice and years to build.

As JB said, if your not "the one", you sure won't be found by "the one".

I wholeheartedly agree though, that its all about knowing yourself, and who you are, and your happy with yourself.

This post has gone on long enough. Here is the basic stance on finding the "one." DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. It will happen. Be selfish and work on yourself! When I broke up with my ex the first thing one of my friends asked me with a straight face was, "Well, I know you are hurt, but when was the last time you thought about yourself?" Think about that for a minute... how many times have you given it all in a relationship, only to end up being dumped? Make yourself better and do things YOU want to do. Everything will come back around and work its way out, but you cannot worry about it or constantly be trying so hard to find it. Just my opinion.

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Originally Posted by kctiger

This post has gone on long enough. Here is the basic stance on finding the "one." DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. It will happen. Be selfish and work on yourself! When I broke up with my ex the first thing one of my friends asked me with a straight face was, "Well, I know you are hurt, but when was the last time you thought about yourself?" Think about that for a minute...how many times have you given it all in a relationship, only to end up being dumped? Make yourself better and do things YOU want to do. Everything will come back around and work its way out, but you cannot worry about it or constantly be trying so hard to find it. Just my opinion.

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Yeah you are right. You know I'm 23yrs old and every relationship that I've been in... I always give my all, and put myself in the relationship. And also I always put the other person wants and needs, before mine always. But I never get that same treatment back... you know. I put out and put out for her (thinking of her before I think of myself)... only for her to start acting different, and not being honest with me about her feelings at all, and allowing the relationship to carry on. And her never apologizing for anything, or never admiting that she made mistakes also... at all!! So frustrating and confusing! I really need to just take care me myself and only myself... but I tend to think of other people so much. Even after how wrong she was... I still think about her... even though I don't need to anymore...