Does anyone notice that the depression after a recent breakup is most intense in the mornings? I went out last night for a friend's birthday party and felt great, felt like I had forgotten the whole thing, but this morning the depression and the racing thoughts were there- I could barely get out of bed. Anyone experience the same things? How do you cope with it?

Hi... Yes I too feel it very badly in the mornings. You wake up and then it's hits you it's hard to deal with. I work with the person I have just split from in a very small office so I have to see him every day which is complete mental torture. Hopefully it will get easier for us as time goes on, in the meantime we just have to be as strong as we can :)

Ya.. definitely is worse in the morning/early.. well right now it hurts like hell and its 18:46pm.. :(

Any coping strategies? Also, I heard there was some ratio for how long it takes to get over someone, like one month per year of the relationship. So it takes 3 months to get over a 3 year relationship?

I don't think there is any fixed time to get over it as every relationship is different and I suppose we all heal differently too. My relationship ended 7 weeks ago and I still feel like it was yesterday. We can only keep our heads above water and hope the hurt starts to lessen... SOON!

Yes the mornings are definitely worse for me. I seem to wake up sometimes in the night with racing thoughts about her also. It's been 8 weeks for me and it feels like yesterday.
We all just need to be strong.

Yea, I agree. I usually go to bed feeling pretty good, but than during sleep most of the progress I made the previous day somehow vanishes and I wake up feeling like I am at square one again. Always thought it would be night though, that's when we spent the most time together...

Well, I'm no fan of casual sex, but I have to say waking up NEXT to someone would probably greatly impact your ability to depress over your ex.

I'm just saying.

Yes, waking up in the morning has always been sooo bad for me when heartbroken..

You know what helped me? I started taking anxiety/depression medication (not for the depressed morning thing) because my anxiety was out of control, but ever since I started taking it I didn't feel as depressed in the mornings.. I remember (before the meds) the mornings were AWFUL!! I think it's because we're dreaming all night and we are comfortable and then when we wake up all reality hits us in one swing, and we're not so comfortble then..

I agree... Mornings are tough. And like NNG said, I was expecting the nights to be the toughest. I tend to think for me anyway, that it is beucase first thing in the morning I used to send a "good morning" text to her. Without that, or some sort of communication, you realize its missing. Also, you go from a peaceful relaxing sleep to waking up and knowing you have to deal with the stress of coping again...

Don't worry though. You wake up at 0, go to sleep at 10 and wake up the next morning at 1. That's a step a day :)

Good advice BigBird, I like your thinking about waking up a zero and then the next day a 1. and so on
I wanted to give you a greenie but I have to spread the rep, got to love you biggie!

Yeah, mornings kind of suck for me anyway since I'm not a morning person. But like the others said every morning after the break up, it's like you wake up with a 'jolt' of reality, remembering that you're not together anymore. It wasn't all just a bad dream...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sokay

It wasn't all just a bad dream...

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No, but waking up is the beginning of the dream that will become your life.

That's definitely true... mornings are hardest.
At the beginning of my break up, mornings sucked. Plus, being in high school, I had to see her everyday. I didn't really look forward to that in the mornings. I mean I wanted to see her, but I didn't, you know what I mean...

I'd just listen to my favourite radio show "Opie and Anthony" and they usually get me in a good mood for the day.
Or, I'd find something to look forward to... plan a trip, or just a night out with the guys, or plan a date. Make something you can look forward to over the week, makes the days a lot easier!

I have to disagree guys!! for me it usually at night!! I used to talk to her at night every night for hours!! so every time its around 10 30 om... if I fell like something is missing... but its really not that bad anymore!! this week has been pretty good... I m busy busy busy like a bee... and I'm going sky diving in a few days... so I'm more concerned about not passing out (lol) when I jump out of the plane!! I have to say though... NC helps a lot... have't talk to her in a Long time so I'm getting used to being me and just chilling with friend.. I still think about her but its really does get better as people say... thought she meant the worl to me, I love myself more... and I came to see it as if she did me a favor, because in the end she was no longer the sweet girl I met!! so I'm moving on and feeling better... I sleeo until late so morning are no problem because I get up and hut them gym and boxing... no dull time... take it from me

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Originally Posted by gg23

goign sky diving in a few days...

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It's a great time :D

Hhmmm... if I recall, it used to be bad both at night and during mornings, probably the latter because you don't see it coming.

I know this is a hackneyed thing to say, but time will make the pain ebb away gradually. :T I noticed that in the beginning, I talked about him/the breakup a lot in order to get my feelings out of my system. After maintaining NC resolutely, however, and getting back into the routine of LIFE without him, I thought of him not necessarily less and less (although that occurred as well), but with growing indifference.

Now I can look back fondly on our relationship, see where I and he went wrong, and only hope I can learn from it.

Keep going. I know that the mornings are unbearable and some days, it's difficult to get out of bed, but just keep going through the motions and you'll get there. Good luck!

Case in point...

It's 9 AM right now and I'm feeling pretty terrible. It gets sickening after a while because you feel pathetic when questions like "Why doesn't she love me anymore?" run through your head.

I felt pretty decent when I went to bed, but now that its morning again... ugh

Sometimes time needs to hurry.

We used to have sex in the mornings. And I know she's having sex with him right now. It so sickening. Because it helps her forget all about me but I'm stuck here deep in agonizing thought. Aahhh so how do you get rid of that thought??

You can't get rid of a thought by thinking about how to get rid of it. Crazy talk!

As long as all you're doing is thinking about NOT thinking about, then thinking about her, then thinking about her having sex with others (which doesn't qualify as NOT thinking about her, BTW), then this will be a nice comfortable, miserable spiral.

Only something ELSE going on in your life will successfully distract you from this, or simply waking up one day and feeling good enough about yourself that her being around becomes appropriately unnecessary.