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-   -   Is my man ditching me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=226239)

  • Jun 12, 2008, 05:41 PM
    joyziegurl
    Is my man ditching me?


    We've been together for a year. He used to be sweet, acknowledges my feelings, communicates his woes, now he's shutting me off and it's hard to fish "I love you".I noticed his more frequent need for silence which is upsetting because he doesnt say it in a nice way. I'll just know it when my calls are ignored and when he answer's, he's irritated and wont buzz be for 3 days or more. He said Im becoming impatient and told me to just date someone else so I can get off from his back. He didnt tell me we're over either when I asked him. Help!
  • Jun 12, 2008, 05:50 PM
    mimi03
    Do you like being ignored, shut out and unacknowledged??
    If you don't and that's your own account of the way he's treating you then you shouldn't wait around for him to tell you it's over... The decision is yours, His actions are all the answer you need!
  • Jun 12, 2008, 06:02 PM
    joyziegurl

    I just thought that "honeymoon' stage is over and he needs space. Its just annoying that he doesnt explain why and what's his problem. But what bothers me is that he wants me to date someone else I'll be occupied while he's thinking. Why would he want me to do that?
  • Jun 12, 2008, 06:23 PM
    CrystalAnn144
    If he wants you to date someone else, that means that he's just not that into you anymore. He probably still cares about you and doesn't want to hurt you and that's his way of letting you off easy.
  • Jun 12, 2008, 06:34 PM
    damaged
    Maybe he doesn't want to be with you any more.. So he treats you that way so you can end things.. He wouldn't feel so bad if you broke up with him.. IDK I could be wrong..
  • Jun 12, 2008, 07:05 PM
    joyziegurl
    I dont think he has someone else either. Need of air, Lost that loving feelin or fed up are the only things I think making him act this way. What do you all think? Guys....?
  • Jun 12, 2008, 07:10 PM
    joyziegurl

    I asked him if he does still want me around, If are we over he didn't confirm it either som confused. I wont hang around if he doenst want me anymore.
  • Jun 12, 2008, 07:20 PM
    f104
    I cannot speak for him. But I would not tell a woman to date somebody else unless I was looking for an excuse to end the relationship. That is a harsh and mean comment to make.
  • Jun 12, 2008, 07:48 PM
    joyziegurl

    He used to tell me before that I can date other man. When we had this NC week, this guy contacted me but nothing really special happened. I told him about it when we got back together I told him about that guy. That next day I'll be taking him out. He said he can't wait to hear what will happen like he's teasing me that I can't do it. I called him afer 2 days, he's ignoring it. Whe he did answer me he told me he's sick of my Shi* then told me that he has now someone else to share burden of me...We're not talking for 4 days now.
  • Jun 12, 2008, 07:49 PM
    f104
    He sounds mean and emotionally abusive to me. Why are you staying with him?
  • Jun 12, 2008, 08:04 PM
    joyziegurl
    He was nice and loving man to me for the entire year that were together. I dont consider him emotionally abusive because he makes me feel good about myself. He wants me to succeed and praises my achievements. Its just now I find him different specially after our NC week. BTW we had NC week because "I dont read between the lines when he needs space and said Im demanding." What do you all think?
  • Jun 12, 2008, 08:07 PM
    f104
    How are you demanding? It sounds like he is calling most of shots. How much input do you have in the relationship?
  • Jun 12, 2008, 08:14 PM
    joyziegurl
    He was sweet, do most what I want. Its just when he started lost his consistency like sweet text (everyday), calls and turn down my invites to date, I feel bad because I felt he's changing. I dunno. Im always there for him. Im always around anytime he wants me. Thats my input. Ima lways there. Whenever. Im confused,men!
  • Jun 12, 2008, 08:20 PM
    f104
    I hear you. I wish I could be of more help to you but I cannot. I do feel for you though and it can be no fun of that I am certain.

    Sometimes people are just so inconsiderate and it totally baffles me.
  • Jun 12, 2008, 08:29 PM
    mimi03
    It doesn't seem like you are the problem or that you pushed him away in any sense... Like someone said before: he's just not that into you anymore.
    This isn't the end of the world for you though, If you stop putting energy into thinking and concerning yourself about him you may come across someone who will appreciate and enjoy your company... Dont linger in sadness/confusion over this guy. It's a complete waist of your precious time!
  • Jun 12, 2008, 10:38 PM
    Guidostern
    Any respectful guy would just end things instead of leaving you out there like that and being emotionally abusive. If you have feelings for him, give him space and see how things pan out... I can tell you that if a girl treated me the way he's treating you, I wouldn't be so nice. Yeah, he may have something going on that's bothering him, but that's still no excuse to treat or talk to you the way he is. I'd drop 'em like a rock off a cliff.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 12:09 AM
    JBeaucaire
    Relationships are in constant change. They are usually either getting steadily better, or getting steadily worse after the initial "honeymoon months". Sounds like your honeymoon period is over and things are on the decline.

    I doubt it matters at this point what excuse either one of you use to end this, somebody just needs to man up and do it. It could be you.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 05:23 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    told me to just date someone else so I can get off from his back. He didn't tell me we're over either when I asked him. Help!


    His words and actions are crystal clear, this relationship is over as far as he is concerned. What a dufus jerk.

    On your part, disappear from his life and regroup.
  • Jun 13, 2008, 05:49 AM
    damaged
    I agree.. He is treating you like s*** why are you still there?. Bc he used to be sweet, & loving?. well he's not like that any more... Get out and find new things.. There are better guys out there... Sometimes you got to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve...
  • Jun 13, 2008, 06:08 AM
    f104
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by damaged
    I agree..He is treating you like s*** why are you still there??...Bc he used to be sweet, & loving???...well he's not like that any more....Get out and find new things..There are better guys out there...Sometimes you gotta forget what you feel and remember what you deserve...


    So very true damage, so very true.

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