I have very strong feelings for this guy... he's one of my best friends, and we're really really close, I've been in love with him for almost a year now.
The summer I started to like him, I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt unfaithful liking someone else at the same time. Me and my ex never got back together again.

One of my friends told him about my feelings for him last year, but he simply joked about it being cute and really said nothing else about it.

I made a promise to a friend of mine we'd both express our feelings/ask out the people we like by the end of the summer, and he's been single for about a year now too.

The problem remains that I'm unsure whether he likes me back or not.. and we have a 7 to 8 year age difference. It doesn't bother me... but I feel like it'd bother him and that he only really sees me as a kid.

But I really want to try asking for a chance... any advice about it? Whether I should ask or not?

[Also, if I do, I want to pick a good day to do it. I couldn't find a board that relates to Astrology, but if anyone knows, I'm a Libra and he's a Gemini. Doesn't anyone know possibly when would be the best day to do it under astrological influence.. ]

P.S- An important piece of info possibly, we only know each other online. So it'd be long-distance.

Well what are the ages, if you are 18 and they are 10 yes that is a issue.
I am saying this since it sounds somewhat like a teen post "loving" someone you have not dated and having friends tell them.

Actual ages will help.

My advice is to leave the internet dating alone.

It is a fantasy, not a reality.

You have no idea who this person is you have been talking to. It could be a woman. It could be a 70 year old pervert, you have no way of knowing.

You are not in love with "someone", you are infatuated with what someone has typed into a computer screen.

Find real guys, in person, in the area where you can actually get to know them and date them.

You will have enough hurt and disappointment in your dating life, without adding more with this internet dating crap.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Well what are the ages, if you are 18 and they are 10 yes that is a issue.
I am saying this since it sounds somewhat like a teen post "loving" someone you have not dated and having friends tell them.

Actual ages will help.

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I'm 14, turning 15 soon. He turned 22 just a week or so ago.

And, I know that usually teenagers haven't a clue what real "Love" is. But I must stress the fact that I am not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, and I really put a LOT of emphesis on the word. I'm not one for levity with that subject.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by progunr

My advice is to leave the internet dating alone.

It is a fantasy, not a reality.

You have no idea who this person is you have been talking to. It could be a woman. It could be a 70 year old pervert, you have no way of knowing.

You are not in love with "someone", you are infatuated with what someone has typed into a computer screen.

Find real guys, in person, in the area where you can actually get to know them and date them.

You will have enough hurt and disappointment in your dating life, without adding more with this internet dating crap.

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>_>; I've dated online before. And I can tell the difference between an internet stalker and a real person. I know who he is, have proof of it too.
And I can't really go "Find" people to date. When I get feelings, I get feelings. I'm not into the whole 'Go have small-talk with that guy from the party and see where it goes', type of thing.

No, anyone in their 20's wanting to date a 14 year old is a stalker or worst. And yes I know at 14/15 you will be getting feelings, and these will grow and mature over the next 5 and 6 years.

But no, this relationship is wrong in every way I could even conceive

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

no, anyone in their 20's wanting to date a 14 year old is a stalker or worst. and yes I know at 14/15 you will be getting feelings, and these will grow and mature over the next 5 and 6 years.

But no, this relationship is wrong in every way I could even concieve

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>__> Thanks...

Would it be "Wrong in every way" If I was 20 and he was 27?

No, so if you want to wait 5 or 6 years, but that does not justify a chlld being with a grown man, I would hope your parents would put a stop to it before it even got started.

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Originally Posted by Kaege

>_>; I've dated online before. And I can tell the difference between an internet stalker and a real person. I know who he is, have proof of it too.
And I can't really go "Find" people to date. When I get feelings, I get feelings. I'm not into the whole 'Go have small-talk with that guy from the party and see where it goes', type of thing.

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Sorry, I didn't realize at 14 that you were an expert on internet dating, my mistake.

I would be interested in what "proof" you have received?

And of course at 14, dating should not be going much of any "place" either. Now should it be much of a party except for teen parties.

I am sorry if I sound blunt but this is so obvous it is jumpint out and yelling.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by progunr

Sorry, I didn't realize at 14 that you were an expert on internet dating, my mistake.

I would be interested in what "proof" you have received?

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I know many of his friends (And not able to be him on other screen names, because in chats they all talk at the same time), I've seen multiple pictures that have also been proofed by some of his friends, and I've been cam to cam with him.

That's some of the most prominent proof.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

And of course at 14, dating should not be going much of any "place" either. Now should it be much of a party except for teen parties.

I am sorry if I sound blunt but this is so obvous it is jumpint out and yelling.

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It's fine. Of course I'm not going to agree with every reply... but if all I do is listen to the sorts of replies I want to hear, that'd be sort've missing the point of asking now wouldn't it? So, I do respect your opinion.

All due respect, but the worse part of this on line dating is you build up a lot of feelings, without the benefit of information, you can only get face to face. Given your age, your experience handling your own feelings is suspect, no matter how mature you may be.
As he talks to you, he may be talking to others the same way, and you would never know, and never know how he really lives his daily life, and with whom.
To answer your question directly, why would a grown man take a chance of going to jail, by pursuing a relationship with a CHILD. No disrespect, but 14, no matter how mature you sound, is not an ideal situation for a MAN.

I must admit, I was surprised to read that you are 14. You have a very good head on your shoulders and are very well-spoken... I'd even say that yes, you are mature for your age - judging from your post.

These are all very good things and are a huge testament to you as a person, but they don't change the fact that you are 14. From reading your original post, I formed the opinion that you were in your 20's and he was in his late 20's/early 30's. In that case (that age difference), age is not so much an issue.

BUT (and that's a big "but), you ARE 14 and no, that is not acceptable. You are very mature for your age, but under no circumstances is it acceptable for a 20 year old to even entertain thoughts of dating a 14 year old girl.

No circumstances.

So sweetie, use that awesome personality you have to get to know the guys in your class, at your church, in your community. Don't focus on older men online - because like Fr_Chuck said, you honestly do not know if the man that you "love" is the man that is corresponding with you. You can do ANYTHING online these days.

Protect yourself. Protect your childhood. Get into drama/theatre. Focus on your studies. You'll find that white knight one day; don't wish away your precious school days.

Can we assume that he knows how old you really are? Because if he does, you need to end this right away. A 22 yr old should not be camming with a 14 yr old. Its one thing to participate in chats but camming goes too far in my opinion.

While I agree with HistorianChick, that you are well spoken and appear mature for 14, you still are only 14. And there is a big difference between 14 and 22. Too big for a relationship now. An 8 year difference doesn't mean much when both are adults but when one is a minor, its very wrong.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Can we assume that he knows how old you really are? Because if he does, you need to end this right away. A 22 yr old should not be camming with a 14 yr old. Its one thing to participate in chats but camming goes too far in my opinion.

While I agree with HistorianChick, that you are well spoken and appear mature for 14, you still are only 14. And there is a big difference between 14 and 22. Too big for a relationship now. An 8 year difference doens't mean much when both are adults but when one is a minor, its very wrong.

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What's wrong with camming? o_o We don't do anything pervy. It's juse like talking on the phone.

Thank you all for your responses, by the way.

What's wrong with camming IN YOUR CASE is that a 22 yr old should not be having a personal relationship with a 14 yr old. I'm not saying you did anything that you shouldn't, but a 22 yr old should know that he risks problems in such a case. It's one thing to chat in a group, but when it goes one on one, alarms bells go off.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

What's wrong with camming IN YOUR CASE is that a 22 yr old should not be having a personal relationship with a 14 yr old. I'm not saying you did anything that you shouldn't, but a 22 yr old should know that he risks problems in such a case. It's one thing to chat in a group, but when it goes one on one, alarms bells go off.

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o_o
I'm sorry, I really don't know what you mean.
Of course we talk one on one,
He's one of my best friends. >_>
Nobody risks anything by having friends.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kaege

I have very strong feelings for this guy...he's one of my best friends, and we're really really close, I've been in love with him for almost a year now.
The summer I started to like him, I broke up with my boyfriend because I felt unfaithful liking someone else at the same time. Me and my ex never got back together again.

One of my friends told him about my feelings for him last year, but he simply joked about it being cute and really said nothing else about it.

I made a promise to a friend of mine we'd both express our feelings/ask out the people we like by the end of the summer, and he's been single for about a year now too.

The problem remains that I'm unsure whether he likes me back or not.. and we have a 7 to 8 year age difference. It doesn't bother me... but I feel like it'd bother him and that he only really sees me as a kid.

But I really wanna try asking for a chance... any advice about it? Whether I should ask or not?

[Also, if I do, I wanna pick a good day to do it. I couldn't find a board that relates to Astrology, but if anyone knows, I'm a Libra and he's a Gemini. Doesn anyone know possibly when would be the best day to do it under astrological influence..?]

P.S- An important peice of info possibly, we only know eachother online. So it'd be long-distance.

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Well it depends on the people, how mature they are how independent they are, and the ages. If the youngest age is about 17/18 and then like 7 years older than that, IF you are read for it, then go for it. I am in a relationship with a man that is 6 years older than me, but I am very mature for my age and mentally it seems that we are the same, there is no difference in how we think or act, and we have been together for a few years now and things are going great, we are getting married. So basically I think that it depends on the situation and the people.