Breaking up, for stupid reasons, and on good terms.
All right (knuckle crack) If you're the sort of person that reads other peoples relationship problems... you probably are used to long, drawn-out, sobby, sad, walls of text. That being said, I'll try to keep this mildly entertaining.
Up till about... 72 hours ago I was dating a girl whom I was, and still am in love with. I have been in more than one serious relationship, I have had my heart broken a couple of times, I know the feelings and what to do... that really isn't the issue! In all seriousness, I don't really feel that bad, but as always, things are: Complicated.
So here's the deal, in short. We were dating for awhile, fell for each other retardedly fast, moved in together for about 2 months to save money (we were planning to move @ the time) and moved to a city, from a town. We arrive at our new apartment, everything is great, she gets the job she was after, and I'm snowboarding 4 days a week @ summit county in Colorado (huge mountains, huge snowboard parks) Everything is great.
Turning point number 1: I dislocate my shoulder very bad resulting in me not being able to snowboard anymore, in turn... I'm in a city, which is new to me... I'm a small town boy. Natually, I get depressed, and try to find outputs. Obviously, I make a bad choice and start playing online video games, which I used to do in High school, quite a bit. I reconnect with a lot of online friends, etc... but it takes up so much time! And of course, she can't understand I'm doing with all my time. She lets me know that this isn't something that she likes, and I cut back, and eventually just stop playing all together. The "current" love of my life more important to me than a digital world.
Things continue, but we both start to completely hate the city, we grow even more unhappy, not with each other, but just in general. The overhead of stress, puts an enormous strain on our relationship, and things continue south. I don't mean to rant, but continuing...
We have a slight falling out, basically we both need our space. Then out of the blue, seriously... out of f@#!$ nowhere, she wants to move to California. Since I don't have a solid job in the area, I make it my duty to pack my belongings and get out of there. We take the "Break" route, and I move back to where we met.
Immediately after arriving I feel refreshed. I get back into snowboarding for the last few weeks of the season, my shoulder feels better (PT what what $$$) I see a lot of old friends, start skateboarding again, basically it's like I never left.
At this time were barely talking, and she decides to come visit some friends, and me of course. We meet up for lunch, and again, it's like we never left. We laugh, we kiss, we get a hotel room etc...
So she leaves, about 2 weeks later, I make the trip up there to see her. POLAR OPPOSITE... no joke, it sucked, we fought, she cried, I got annoyed... I had no idea what the hell was happening! We went to the zoo... I went home, awesome.
So... heres current events:
I know she's unhappy with the situation, she doesn't want to live here, and she wants to go to California. I'm unhappy, I do want to live here, and I'm scared to even look at California.
We are both in love, we both care about each other... now, tell me if I'm being weird. Does it seem selfish to abandon a... moderately struggling, but completely loving and good relationship, to "assume a career" that I heard nothing but bad things about? I know she's unhappy, but we can't look for somewhere else with a beach and... whatever Cali has, oranges?
In a week, 1 week... she's going to look at California. Then she's moving back here for 3 months, to save money. This town is fairly small... ill put it this way, it has one main street, and 4 good bars. We will see each other, and we agreed to talk, be friendly, and supportive of each others needs. Umm.. I'm a 21 year old male... does it sound wrong to feel outright mad about the situation?
I completely want to salvage the relationship because I really enjoy her. There are like 4 other girls I know that I could probably go get with right now, not to be cocky, but this is a college town, it happens...
Here's what I've come up with:
A: She loves Cali and can't wait to gtfo.
B: She's not 100% on Cali and isn't really sure what she wants to do.
C: I never see her again.
If she loves Cali, do I just let her go, continue focusing on getting myself back to 100% alone? I understand that either way, that's probably the best choice, but being broken up for 2 weeks, not seeing them for almost 4 weeks, and then having her pushed back into my little "No more relationship sanctuary" doesn't sound fun, or easy. I'm scared that if I let her go, and get over it, if she comes back, which for some reason I see happening... I'll be doing something else... not literally.
Again, she's told me she loves me, and wants this to work, but she has to do this for herself, and since I don't want to go... I'm out of luck. Is it just a case of horrible relationship timing? What do you guys think? Play the field, or buy her flowers?
And thanks for wasting 5 minutes of your life to help out a total stranger, I know that a Thank You on a forum post is a bit belated, but it does mean a lot. Advice is amazing.
Wew!
