Insecure or is their more to it?
I've posted before about a friend causing problems. Basically me and my boyfriend have been having problems. I don't know if this is because I'm insecure or if I'm just getting the wrong impression of things. He has panic attacks and has know 'the friend' for about 5 years. He tells her a lot about what he feels. When I talk to her she is able to tell me what he'd be doing, what he'd be feeling, what he likes and dislikes and what he will do, what me and my boyfriend have been doing, what he gave me for my birthday, when he was planning to ask me to stay over etc. he tells me that he only tells her a bit and that it is because she has had panic attacks like he has and can talk to her. I don't understand why he can't talk to me. Anyway she then tells me bits and pieces. I get the impression that she thinks I'm not good enough and he would be happier and better with her. This makes me feel stupid and useless and I end up feeling insure about everything. I love my boyfriend and want to be with him but I want him to talk to me as well as her. Am i really asking too much? He doesn't understand and when he asks for a copy of the conversation we had she sends him one and is careful about what's on it. I always look like the one who is in the wrong and making a big deal out of nothing. I tried explaining it another way and said well its not like (my ex) is telling you about me or what I like and don't like and what I'd b doing and thinking etc and he said well I wouldn't want to know, I'd want to find it out for myself. So I told him yeah that's sort of what I mean and he just said that it isn't his fault and told me to tell her that I want to find out for myself. He doesn't understand how I feel and can't see it from my point of view. Am i really the one seeing it all wrong? he told me that I make him feel like feel like s**t and a bad boyfriend of which I replied well don't worry I feel like a bad girlfriend every time I end up speaking to (the friend). Now I think about it I can see that he would feel bad but my heads so messed up and I don't know what to think. I don't want to loose him and I know he is having doubts as each time we argue its about the same thing. How do I make this work? I love this guy. Please help! :'( Sorry its so long.
Whys he keep letting me down
OK I've not been with my boyfriend long, I love him a lot. He lives approx an hour away from me and I am the only one that can drive.
Anyway he has panic attacks and lately they have been bad. My problem is that he won't talk to me. He said he would but he doesn't and we have been talking less and less. Since I'm on my holidays, so off work and he doesn't work, we arranged to spend the weeks together. Well everyday so far something has come up and he has said he will come the next day and he is sorry. The day before it was because he wouldn't see much of his family and wanted to spend one more night there and now he said had a panic attack last night and won't be coming today either etc. he hasn't been replying to my texts but I don't know if that is because he said he has only just woken up. Just feels like he is pushing me away and that I'm not that important. When we are together its great but when we are apart I feel so down. I'm getting so angry and down about this. I have not text him bck since the text as I don't want to say something I would later regret. But what should I do? Stick it out and hope it gets better or just end it? Thanks