 |
Went to bed and got back up... decided to delete my new email that my GF has because of our mutual friend got from me and then passed it out to her, without my consent.
So now... she doesn't have my phone number unless he gave it to her, email address... neither of them do. However, they know where I work and they could email me there though...
Anyway... im just doing allthat I can to end all contact... :)
:-)
I'm proud of you.
Three hundred and twenty one people have given you advice.
You could write a short story from this,get it printed and help people to understand how the grieving process of breaking up works.
Take a little from everyone ,as I am sure you have and create something good from your experience,pass it on :)
Thanks imtotallylost! And you too artlady... maybe that would be cool huh? Helping out people from my experience. :) I sure as hell don't want anyone to go through what I have... but anyway... tomorrow is another day with more challenges... itll be rough I know because our friend IS going to call me and it will be tough to tell him I don't want ot her any of it.
I hate this. I hate being put in this situation as if I am the bad guy. All that I did was to want to be loved by this woman and for her to let me love her... and we did for 5 years...
And then it all blew up in smoke.
In a way... I feel gulity of leaving her.. if that makes sense... I love her so much that I don't want her to have any pain. And no I'm not a psycho and a massochist... I truly loved her with all my might.
And I really think that she did too but according to our friend she says tha I took too long to do it. So now... she needs to take care of herself and takes the approach that if I am doning this now... then I was the one that didn't want this relationship and hense she has a right to be mean to me... etc...
For what its worth... ive been saying my prayers when I go to bed... hedk by this pointk, I have nothing to lose by asking god to help me out here... adn to trust in what he thinks is the right thing to happpen...
Rambling here...
It makes a lot of sense to feel like being the bad guy. I feel exactly that way. But you can't help it. You're not doing this because you want to. You're doing this because it's the only sane thing for you to do.
Hi... yeah... its the only choice I have... gotta protect myself now. Look out after myself.
Our friend tried calling me yesterday but like I said I had it off... he left a voicemail but I deleted it!
Not sure if I want to talk to him today or not... maybe on Monday. I don't know... any opions out there about what to do?
Being able to step away from a bad situation, and regrouping is a good step. Whether you realize it, or not, your slowly getting a clear head back, and I have no doubt, given time, you'll look back, and be able to see the life lessons this experience has given you.
You will be stronger, better, and much more experienced, in how to deal with your own feelings, and the actions of others.
Sadly your ex is using your friend, to affect you through him, and he mistakenly, has tried to act in your interest, and helping you get her back.
You do need to explain to him, that kind of help is not needed, nor wanted. When he gets it, you will truly be free to heal, because you have cut all contact with her, and you can get to work on you, without her influence.
talaniman... im glad to hear that you think that I am getting a clear head back although slowly.
Yes... I will tell our mutual friend that I don't want to hear about her anymore. Ill say that she knows what to do and its her choice.
To tell you the truth, everyone out there...
Maybe because its been a month since I have seen or spoken to her but although I do miss her- I don't miss her as much. And, I'm starting to feel like she's not real... if that makes sense?
Like she has been a part of my life for so long, but at the same time its as if maybe she's "not here" anymore... I don't know weird feeling.. anyone out there understand me or have felt like this? What does that mean? Wonder if SHE feels the same way...
Also... is she really using him to affect me? What does that say about her?
Comments please...
That she is being a coward; she feels she can't say what she has to say to you, so she is being an imature coward and using your friend as the mediator.
I wonder why she's so afraid to tell me face to face?
Well, everybody... I have a little setback. :( I was going through my email to clean it up and I ran across an email of hers about 3 months ago.. I didn't read it but she attahed a small picture of herself on the header... and I saw it and I thought to myself... "shes so pretty"... miss her... anyway, yeah I know she not on the inside but it did tug at my heart a little.
Any suggestions? I have tons of pix of her... g rated and xxx rated... I would hate to delete all of them since she was a part of my life but I don't know if its good for me to keep them...
Help!
Delete all the email addresses, msn accounts, myspace accounts, delete the g rated photos, send the xxx photos to me, delete the xxx rated photos.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
Put the pics somewhere away from you, not easily accessible to you. Box them up, put them in a really inconvenient place so you won't just go back to them...
Also... anyone have any suggestions on hearing songs that play on the radio? There are a lot that remind me of "US"... she once told me that when we broke up last time, songs came on that reminded her of me... I didn't experience that "feeling" at that time but I am this time...
Actually, I recommend you listen to comedy tapes for a while. They are funny so they make you laugh, and you listen to something else until those songs lose their meaning. You can also change the type of music you listen to.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
Anytime you hear a song that reminds you of her, turn to another station, quick. That is what I would do when I would hear a song that reminded me of ex's.
OK... thanx for the tips!!
chuff.. the xxx rated pix are in your email! ;)
Don't post them online, she might see them... jk.
Guys... n gals... our mutual friend just called me... didnt answer... im going to call him back in a few... im going to tell him what I told to you and hope he doesn't blurt anything out or tell me "thats for the best" or any of his commentary. Wish me luck!
Good Luck Crazy! Keep us all posted. We are on your side here.
All right everybody... update:
I just spoke to our mutual friend and before he said anything.. I told him that I didn't want to her ANYTHING about what she had to say or about what she wrote in her "long" letter.
I told him that I said ALL that I needed to in my letters to her.
He seemed kind of surprised but he respected my wishes and didn't talk about her. I got to admit I was nervous and I really didn't want to talk to him but I did.
I of course, told her that I loved her.. damnit. And then he told me to my objection.. that she said that she loves me too. O brother.
Anyway... that the update... im SURE she's going to be surprised that I didn't want to know what her letter said... also... he told me that she was asking him... "have you talked to him yet? hows he doing".. etc...
He told me that she is going to lose her job in 2 weeks.. they are shutting down her office due to the economy!
Comments guys!!
Round and round we go, where we end up at, nobody knows. Leave it alone. The advice doesn't change just because she gives you a bone.
yeah... she does give me a bone... F^*K!
well at least I got it over with... I don't have to talk to our friend too much anymore.. and of course I don't have to deal with her either.
round and round... I hear you.
Yeah... seems like she is trying to make me hold on to her through our friend... telling me those things through him... he** she probably loves her last BF too.. u know? Doesn't mean that she wants to get with him or me. I'm upset but mostly at myself for feeling like that with her... im going to hang tough... fyi.
Know what people?
I've really been thinking about everything... "yesterday" today... tomorrow...
As much as I want to... I just can't "hate" her for what she's put me through...
I don't want to be angry anymore. Ill keep everyone posted on what happens.. dont know what will... im sure our friend will talk to me soon... so ull know...
Tonight, I forgive her.
And let her go.
It just sounds to me like you've been entertaining a crowd of.. wait there was no crowd. going round and round, but finally you are seeing the picture.
Hi Crazy,
That is fine that you don't hate her. That shows that you are a stand up guy who knows how to love, and that is a great quality and shows a lot of positives about you! You are doing the right thing here by having no contact and minimal contact with your mutual friend. It is better for you that way. Good for you!
You have said that before. Words mean nothing, without the actions, to back them up!Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
Tal is right, you need to let her go and really move on from her.
Well everyone.. wanted you to know that I had a fun time today hanging out with m friends.
I thought that I "Might" want to take their advice and "do it" with a girl I meet at the club... but... as much as I wanted to feel "it" again... I didn't do it.
Not because of HER... and that I feel obligated to her or anything, but because I didn't feel it in my heart. What a wussy huh? Lol. :(
Anyway, just wanted everyone to know how I was doing...
All right, lets get something clear: There is nothing "wussy" about not having sex with a girl.
Look, to me, and a few other guys on here (Rome as well) sex is a bit more that just meaningless physical contact. Just because you don't have sex with random girls you meet doesn't make you a "wuss." Do it when you are ready, and I promise you, if you do it just to "get back on the horse" or just to make your friends happy, you will feel like sh!t. Don't treat a girl like an object that is there just to help you get your manhood back. Be more classy than that.
When I was going through this, I found that just a good conversation with an attractive girl made me feel good about myself. You don't need to "close the deal" just to satisfy your ego.
Yeah... I hear you. I though that it was meaningless so I Didn't do anything. Thanks for the encourament and advice... ill just wait until it feels right...
Had to spread the rep KC... I completely agree! Great advice!.
Crazy, just give it time and lots more time.. you will start to feel good about yourself when u do things for YOURSELF!. Don't think about all of this as a setback, its an opportunity.. a perfect opportunity to grow, develop and improve yourself!. once you do, yourself esteem will be back on top!
Good luck
Thanks Arzy99...
I'm going to try to... I am trying to look at it that way.. an opportunity to grow and develop my "relationship" skills and just me in general.
I don't want to sound like I have a lot of self pity by saying that I will "improve" myself for the better etc... you know, a lot of people SAY that just to make themselves feel better. But I am not looking at it in THAT way..
Just want to heal and not be sad about it all and about all the time I feel like it might have been "wasted" I mean.. it wasn't wasted per se... but considering we wanted to get married a month ago... its kind of crazy..
But like everyone says, better for this to happen than to be in an unhappy or DRAMA marriage!
Crazy two things.
One I hope you change your screen name because it appears that you are no longer crazy over her, but rather starting to see her BS or perhaps becoming crazy about improvement.
Second thing is I hope you can see the positive improvements you've made just over the weekend. Hold onto this momentum because you are coming around. If you start to feel down, focus back to this weekend and everything you did right, and how YOU were in control, even with another girl ready to go. You NOT being a wussy and instead a man with a backbone decided what was best for you at that time and choose to follow through. That should be motivating for you, so hold onto it and grow from here.
Thanks guys! :)
You all are a real support group!!
I was in control this weekend.. I went out and played softball and told myself that "i was going to have fun and feel good about it." ill tell you though, I DID do that BUT I did feel a little "GUILTY" for feeling that way. Its weird, its like when I feel good, I think... "hmm, maybe i shouldnt because SHE isnt around" - if anyone knows what I mean or feel. Its like, I shouldn't feel happy if she's not around because I never did.
Even so, I did feel good about 80% of the time. And when I didn't, I played more and forgot about that feeling. It seems when I have a lot of time on my hands, my mind wanders. Anyway any commetns would be great!
Thnkx
Well everyone... today... I was a busy guy.
As I was driving, I thought about HER and you know what? It really didn't bother me that I wasn't with her! I thought about all the fre%kn drama that I would go through if she was with me and although I sure do think she's FRE$KIN HOT... id rather be "calm" with no drama.
Anyway, I wasn't very sad about that. And her memory at least for today was far away. It was more like me remembering someone than actually experiencing the BREAKUP or in my case, the WHO KNOWS breakup!
Just an update for everyone...
People... damn setback...
Went drinking with my friends tonight... feeling really buzzed and I got to tell you all... I miss her warm naked body against mine when I lie in bed. >:
What am I supposed to do? I miss the love only a woman can give. Anyone got advice for me? Because, I'm not out there trying to F%ck anyone... I just am kind of lonely in bed...
Thanks
The love only a woman can give? Your ex didn't give you that so when you start thinking like that be grateful you don't have her.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
You have to turn the negative thoughts into positive ones.
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:15 PM. |