Ask Me Help Desk - Did I do the right thing?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

I am starting to believe that is code for: I don't think I belong in this relationship. Kick me to the curb so that I can blame you for the break up instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and emotions.

I guess he has proved that he doesn't deserve you.

I really thought he loved me... My friend thinks he accused me of cheating just to blame me

I agree that this is a red flag. I mean, the relationship may have been great, but there's no trust? Please, if my girlfriend believed every rumor that were spread about me, and believe me, there are QUITE a bit of rumors, then I'd be locked up in solitary confinement.

Trust is a HUGE deal in a relationship... it's one of those make/break things.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

I am starting to believe that is code for: I don't think I belong in this relationship. Kick me to the curb so that I can blame you for the break up instead of taking responsibility for my own actions and emotions.

I guess he has proved that he doesn't deserve you.

Very well stated and true in every instance I can recall where it has been brought up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

I agree that this is a red flag. I mean, the relationship may have been great, but there's no trust? Please, if my girlfriend believed every rumor that were spread about me, and believe me, there are QUITE a bit of rumors, then I'd be locked up in solitary confinement.

Trust is a HUGE deal in a relationship...it's one of those make/break things.

True Sneezy

I was wrong in what I read. On Tuesday you said you were having relationship problems and Pat is amazing but is convinced that you are to good for him.

That is were I got that and I am sorry for the mix up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by adam_89

I was wrong in what I read. On Tuesday you said you were having relationship problems and Pat is amazing but is convinced that you are to good for him.

That is were I got that and I am sorry for the mix up.

That;'s all right, very easy mix up

I want him back, I know it may not be the best thing, but I do

Give it some time. See if he messages you on Facebook. He may be hurting too. And it's hard when you're that age (or any age for that mater) to have all those people whispering in his ear.

But I have to say, with him saying you are too good for him, it kind of sounds like he was looking for an easy out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Give it some time. See if he messages you on facebook. He may be hurting too. And it's hard when you're that age (or any age for that mater) to have all those people whispering in his ear.

But I have to say, with him saying you are too good for him, it kind of sounds like he was looking for an easy out.

What I don't understand is how one goes from wanting to impregnate and marry a girl to not wanting her at all...

It just shows is maturity level. Good thing you didn't get pregnant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I want him back, I know it may not be the best thing, but I do

Emop, months ago you wanted to let someone control your life. You tried convincing us that was how you wanted your future. Do you want to be in relationship with someone who doesn't trust you? Do you see a future with someone who listens more to rumors and his own imagination than he does you?

Seems to me he cares more about rumors than you and that is not a good foundation for a strong relationship.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

It just shows is maturity level. Good thing you didn't get pregnant.

I have a confession... I didn't tell anyone in case this happened, I was pregnant and miscarried. I was two months along until a week or two ago, I forget.. I lose track of time

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

emop, months ago you wanted to let someone control your life. You tried convincing us that was how you wanted your future. Do you want to be in relationship with someone who doesn't trust you? Do you see a future with someone who listens more to rumors and his own imagination than he does you?

Seems to me he cares more about rumors than you and that is not a good foundation for a strong relationship.

Very true Cat, I'm just so hurt right now..

Emop, do you see why that would not have been a good thing? You would have been fighting him with paternity and potentially raising a kid on your own at 18. I hope you have learned something from all of this. I am not going to give you the lecture, I have given it to you once before. Time to take some time for you, and decide what you want from your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Emop, do you see why that would not have been a good thing? You would have been fighting him with paternity and potentially raising a kid on your own at 18. I hope you have learned something from all of this. I am not going to give you the lecture, I have given it to you once before. Time to take some time for you, and decide what you want from your life.

I know I know, I was stupid and caught up in the moment...

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Very true Cat, I'm just so hurt right now..

I know you are hurting. I know that your life is about as messed up as it can get. Boyfriends and babies won't make it any better.

I think you need to talk to your therapist (if you are still seeing one). Get some ranting and raving off your chest with someone who can hold your hand and offer a real tissue to dry your tears.

You need to get out your feelings about the miscarriage, too. It is not something to bury your feelings about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

I know you are hurting. I know that your life is about as messed up as it can get. Boyfriends and babies won't make it any better.

I think you need to talk to your therapist (if you are still seeing one). Get some ranting and raving off your chest with someone who can hold your hand and offer a real tissue to dry your tears.

You need to get out your feelings about the miscarriage, too. It is not something to bury your feelings about.

I don't see one anymore

And as for the miscarriage, I have no idea... I mean the night before I miscarried, I had a dream about my baby... It was so real. And then the next day, I gush blood out and I took a test a week or so later that said I wasn't pregnant. It's confusing.. I mean while I was pregnant, Pat would always hold my belly telling me how excited he was and everything. And then when I miscarried, that's about when everything fell apart

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I don't see one anymore

and as for the miscarriage, I have no idea... I mean the night before I miscarried, I had a dream about my baby... It was so real. and then the next day, I gush blood out and I took a test a week or so later that said I wasn't pregnant. It's confusing.. I mean while I was pregnant, Pat would always hold my belly telling me how excited he was and everything. And then when I miscarried, that's about when everything fell apart

Have you been to a doctor? If not, you need to see a doctor. You need to make sure that everything is okay and determine if you really were pregnant and that everything came out if you did miscarry. You do not need more medical problems.

Miscarriages are hard on both people. It takes a very strong relationship to survive one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Have you been to a doctor? If not, you need to see a doctor. You need to make sure that everything is okay and determine if you really were pregnant and that everything came out if you did miscarry. You do not need more medical problems.

Miscarriages are hard on both people. It takes a very strong relationship to survive one.

I will soon, when I go to get my depo shot

Yeah, I remember it was when he was away for a week and he cried... a lot

Quote:

Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I will soon, when I go to get my depo shot

Yeah, I remember it was when he was away for a week and he cried... a lot

When do you get your shot? I don't want you ending up with a preventable infection because you left seeing a doctor too long.