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-   -   He lies about absolutely everything - why? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=371342)

  • Dec 22, 2009, 09:13 AM
    louiseismyname

    Thanks amicon, I'm trying my best but I'm breaking inside, now I've got the ex girlfriend texting me, the night before last was his ex girlfriend mate as well!! And then him. Roll on the sale when I can get a new phone so they can't hurt me
  • Dec 22, 2009, 10:59 AM
    asking

    Don't read any of the messages from him, his girlfriend, or any of his friends. Just delete. Have a friend delete them if that will help you not see them.

    Hope you get the new phone soon that will allow you to block them. Also, glad you have goals and a new fella. Focus on them. I would ask your new boy friend not to communicate with any of them at all. It just stirs the pot.

    Merry Solstice! Starting today, there will be more sunshine in your life!
  • Dec 22, 2009, 11:04 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by asking View Post
    Don't read any of the messages from him, his gf, or any of his friends. Just delete. Have a friend delete them if that will help you not see them.

    Hope you get the new phone soon that will allow you to block them. Also, glad you have goals and a new fella. Focus on them. I would ask your new boy friend not to communicate with any of them at all. It just stirs the pot.

    Merry Solstice! Starting today, there will be more sunshine in your life!

    Thanks asking, my fella has told my ex that he has deleted his number (he hadn't as like me his phone isn't compatible) and as soon as he knew he rang my fellas phone to test, my fella has just said he has blocked his texts and calls and that altoguh it may ring at his end it won't at ours??

    I can't believe he was texting my ex asking what we were doing etc when we in bed,what kind of a nut job is he. The really hurtful comment came when he asked my fella if I had killed myself yet as I'm taking my time in doing so :(:(
  • Dec 22, 2009, 11:28 AM
    louiseismyname

    my fella has just text me and he has just received a text from my ex's girlfriend or ex girlfriend now!! A really abusive one, when is this going to stop, it said that my ex means everything to her and we should f^^k off out there life and to stop texting him?? It was my ex that was texting us in bed last night so I don't know what all that is about. He is just feeding her a bunch of lies and she is silly enough to fall for it
  • Dec 22, 2009, 12:34 PM
    asking

    I recommend you turn your phones off and put them in another room when you are in bed. ;)

    Make a pact with your new guy not to read or tell each other about any more of these messages. You both deserve better. So make an agreement with each other to let this blow over.
  • Dec 22, 2009, 12:39 PM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by asking View Post
    I recommend you turn your phones off and put them in another room when you are in bed. ;)

    Make a pact with your new guy not to read or tell each other about any more of these messages. You both deserve better. So make an agreement with each other to let this blow over.

    Since my last post his ex has been ringing me constantly, so we have both turned our mobiles off and just ignore her, she is a nutter like him it seems, she goes back to him after he made her go back on her depression pills :(:( she is threatening me and my fella about contacting my ex, the thing is we hae told him to leave us alone. He is really playing her for a fool it seems and she is falling for it x
  • Dec 22, 2009, 03:04 PM
    louiseismyname

    I've just turned my mobile back on and got lots of messages from the ex's girlfriend, I just deleted them so don't know what they say but they would have been vulgar no doubt as she is as rough as a badgers arse, why can't they leave me alone, he will have told her I'm texting him, the only reason I texted hi early this morning to say leave us alone to be happy, because I stand up for myself he goes crying to her and she has a go. Ive so had enough, my phone will be off tonight for the 1st time in ages.

    I just don't understand and now understand that I never will, I've took everyone's advice on here when they say don't ask why as you will never know or get the answer, just accept it and move on. I just can't get my head around why his ex would have a go at me when its him that is in the wrong??
  • Dec 22, 2009, 03:40 PM
    talaniman

    They are both in the wrong, and seem to be egging each other on. Don't you think that's a shame, and a pity, they have nothing better to do? They certainly deserve each other, and I'm sure you will have the last laugh.

    Its been my experience that people who go to such lengths to put someone down, are actually jealous and insecure and are trying to project themselves higher in there own eyes. Usually the exact opposite happens, and they end up miserable, and exposed for what they are.
  • Dec 23, 2009, 02:37 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    They are both in the wrong, and seem to be egging each other on. Don't you think thats a shame, and a pity, they have nothing better to do? They certainly deserve each other, and I'm sure you will have the last laugh.

    Its been my experience that people who go to such lengths to put someone down, are actually jealous and insecure and are trying to project themselves higher in there own eyes. Usually the exact opposite happens, and they end up miserable, and exposed for what they are.

    Thanks Tal, they don't seem to think there in the wrong unfortunately, he is telling her I'm a loony and she thinks I made the whole thing up to win him back (as if), even though she has seen the texts he sent me. How can a person (my ex) ask me to marry him and then say he didn't, how can he pretend to cut my name in his arm when he didn't? Etc etc these sound to me like the actions of a mentally ill person don't you think Tal?
  • Dec 23, 2009, 03:24 AM
    amicon
    I think we can all agree that the pair of them are sadly lacking in the mental health department but make a pact with yourself that nothing they say or do is going to hurt you anymore.
    You can do this and you'd be doing in for your own peace of mind.
  • Dec 23, 2009, 06:32 AM
    talaniman

    Talaniman Rule-Never try to figure out what crazy people think, or do. It will make you as crazy as them.
  • Dec 23, 2009, 06:59 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Talaniman Rule-Never try to figure out what crazy people think, or do. It will make you as crazy as them.

    Lol, very true Tal - wise words from a very wise person
  • Dec 24, 2009, 06:22 AM
    sully123

    It's over, move on, cut his drama off. Stop playing into it, with them all. Smartest thing you could do is get a new phone number, that would stop everything. It's going on way too long.. I just don't know how you even listen to it, its been going on way too long.
  • Dec 26, 2009, 11:08 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sully123 View Post
    It's over, move on, cut his drama off. Stop playing into it, with them all. Smartest thing you could do is get a new phone number, that would stop everything. It's going on way too long.. I just don't know how you even listen to it, its been going on way too long.

    sully123 you are so right, I've left them too it over xmas, I did have the ex boyfriends girlfriend or ex girlfriend whatever she currently is ringing me on christmas day but my phone was on silent upstairs and so I only realised late at night. I never replied as that is what she wants, they are both just looking to stir the pot and hurt me. They are welcome to each other, I do hope they spend new yrs eve together as they deserve each other. On a happier note I had a lovely xmas day with my family and drunk far too much champagne!! I hope everyone else had a lovely day too.

    Here's to a new year and a new start xxxxxx
  • Dec 26, 2009, 12:58 PM
    sully123

    Stay strong louiseismyname and don't give in. Your heading in the right direction. Glad you had a nice Christmas, and start the New Year off thinking only about you.
  • Dec 27, 2009, 04:01 AM
    louiseismyname

    Thanks sully, my ex really hurt me when he told my fella, oh by the way tell louise I love her NOT!! I just don't know how he could be so cruel, well I do, as he is a nut job!!
  • Dec 27, 2009, 04:14 AM
    amicon

    Don't even think about allowing yourself to let him hurt you. Ignore!
  • Dec 27, 2009, 04:28 AM
    louiseismyname

    Thanks amicon, your right, every time I think of those words try and block them out. I think he was only saying them as I have a new fella and he don't like that I'm moving on so in order to hurt me he says nasty comments. Im too grown up to play silly games with them both, I really do hope they get back together as they really do deserve each other. I hope you had a lovely xmas x
  • Dec 27, 2009, 04:35 AM
    amicon
    Yes thanks but no champagne! The trick is to keep ignoring both of them,you have a good life-they don't.
    A person only has the power over us that we allow them to have.
    Take care. X
  • Dec 27, 2009, 04:42 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Yes thanks but no champagne! The trick is to keep ignoring both of them,you have a good life-they dont.
    A person only has the power over us that we allow them to have.
    Take care. X

    That's very tue amicon, they have no power over me at all. I don't understand why my ex's girlfriend or ex girlfriend (whatever she is at the mo) rang me on xmas day? I do have a good life don't I!!

    I have a nice detached house, a lovely fella, a nice doggy, great friends and family, a degree, masters etc and he has...

    A drink driving conviction he received in April and is banned until Oct, a wacko girlfriend, he is living at home with his mummy and daddy at 31, all his mates think he is a lair (as they warned me about him before we got together), he hates his job etc etc

    Gosh when I write it down I really do have it much better off than them, at least now I don't have the worry of whether my partner is cheating or lying to me constantly, as I know that is what his gf/ex girlfriend will be constantly worrying about :D:D:D
  • Dec 27, 2009, 04:49 AM
    amicon

    You said it all! Say hello to your doggie! :-)
  • Dec 27, 2009, 05:40 AM
    louiseismyname

    Lol amicon, I will always be a better person than he ever will. He just don't know when to stop lyin and cheating on people. Yes I haven't been a saint in the past as many of us haven't, but I've grown up and learnt to appreciate what I have and that's all behind me years ago and I'm a different person now.

    I just can't understand why this woman would take him back after she saw the texts he sent me, how can he lie his way out of that for crying out loud?? The woman must have really low self respect as did I in the past to take him back and then to start insulting me who was only trying to help her
  • Dec 27, 2009, 05:50 AM
    amicon

    It beggars belief but that's her problem now. He's not in your life anymore.
  • Dec 27, 2009, 05:55 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    It beggars belief but thats her problem now. He's not in your life anymore.

    That's very true, I just find myself sitting here at times wondering how a person that says they loved me etc can turn on me and be so hurtful whilst at the same time by lying to another woman? He obviously likes the drama in his life for sure. I just can't understand why his ex won't leave me alone, I want nothing to do with either of them ever again but it seems she now has my number and won't leave me alone. Hopefully this will all die down soon and I can enjoy the new yr in peace without my stalkers in tow. If it continues then il definitely get a new mobile as I can't take much more of this verbal abusive by her xxxx she has a foul mouth and must live in the gutter judging by her language :o:o:o
  • Dec 27, 2009, 06:09 AM
    amicon

    Change your number. And remember Jeremy Kyle!
  • Dec 27, 2009, 06:13 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Change your number. And remember Jeremy Kyle!

    Lol, you make me laugh amicon, il remember Jeremy for sure. Im happy to have the drama out of my life, it must be awful to be in a relationship in which there is no trust xxxxx
  • Jan 12, 2010, 06:52 AM
    louiseismyname

    Hello everyone, hope you are all OK, just a quick message to let you know that I officially detest my ex!! I'm so over him AT LAST and feel sorry for any future woman in his life. To cut a long story short, I had a car accident last Monday when my car slid and spun 180 on black ice, I thought my time was up!! Anyway, somehow my ex found out and never even text me to see if I was OK. Don't get me wrong, I didn't really want him too but it just proved to me how little he cares if I live or died. Im so over him and never want to hear from him again - it is a little late but new start for a new year - thanks all for your help xx I hope I can help others with the advice I've received from you fab guys xx
  • Jan 12, 2010, 07:04 AM
    amicon
    Stay around and help out-good choice! I hope you weren't hurt in the accident.

    ( And I'm not going to even going to mention you know who-hi,hi!)
  • Jan 12, 2010, 07:11 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    Stay around and help out-good choice! I hope you werent hurt in the accident.

    ( And I'm not going to even going to mention you know who-hi,hi!)

    Thanks amicon, luckily there was no cars behind me or on the other side of the road!! If it had happened 30 seconds later then it would have been a different story, I was on my way home from college. I escaped with whiplash and a sore back, I was lucky but it gave me the wake up call I needed tbh. Don't get me wrong it still hurts when he turns round to my friends and says he don't love me then turns round to me and says he does and that he cares about me and can't help caring??

    If he cared about me he would have dropped me a friendly text to ask if I'm OK after the accident :(:( but he didn't and that shows his true colours.
  • Jan 12, 2010, 07:20 AM
    amicon
    Don't worry about it-enjoy your relationship with your new fella.
    I'm glad you weren't hurt too bad but take care of yourself on the roads.
  • Jan 12, 2010, 07:24 AM
    louiseismyname

    Yeah the roads are very bad at the mo, they are getting better though with the rain here, I'm so nervous driving at the mo. I was scared to get in my car again but I forced myself to drive again otherwise id never get back in the car.

    I just hope things pick up soon, its only 12 days into 2010 and already I've got a car repair bill of £500 as my head gasket just blown up xxx
  • Jan 18, 2010, 04:29 AM
    louiseismyname

    Well things are finally starting to look up at last!!

    Ive completed my uni application and that has been given in, I took all your advice and met up with an old school friend that I hadn't seen in 15 years and we went out for lunch and drank a lot of wine lol!! I had such a fab time. I even had the confidence to text my ex and tell him please don't ever contact this number again, fair enough I did get a very nasty text back saying "i know what, why dont you f**k off and stop texting me as my girlfriend is getting pi**ed off with all of this". When I received the text I was mad but I didn't rise to the occasion and just deleted the text and have never contacted him since. I know he only sent me the nasty text as he does not like that I have asked him not to contact me again.

    Anyway, hopefully this is going to be the start of a good tme in my life xx
  • Jan 18, 2010, 05:42 AM
    amicon

    I'm glad you're having a great time!
    Just don't bother texting him again-ok? :-)
  • Jan 18, 2010, 05:48 AM
    sully123

    You did wonderful with completing the application, but blew it when you text him again. What is it going to take? What does that man have to offer you, that you need to contact him?Why do you need to do this? He sends you a text back telling you his girlfriend is annoyed, that would give me the hint. You come so far, and then for some reason like need to text him, I don't quite understand why you can't let go. YOU both have moved on. He has lied to you, and you keep going back. Please Louise, stay strong and stop giving in.
  • Jan 18, 2010, 06:29 AM
    louiseismyname

    Thanks for your replies, sully don't worry I won't ever text him again. I just had to send that last text so he knew id had enough and wanted to be left alone. Im glad he texted me back with his usual horrid words, as it made me realise that we will never be just friends and that he is truly a nasty person and not worthy of my time or effort.

    Like I said I got my uni application in and I've been out with a mate I've not see in 15 yrs, it was so good to go out and forget him. In the past 5 days I have not even been tempted to text him in the slightest, that has never happened with me before so I really do think this time I'm on a road and walking in the right direction. Xx
  • Jan 21, 2010, 03:48 AM
    louiseismyname

    Just a quick update - it has been 8 days now and I've had complete NC from the jerk and feel better than ever. This is the 1st time that I have not felt the need to text him and ask him why he treated me so badley and lied to me constantly. Il never get the answers I want and I've just accepted that.

    I realise that I have and will always have a better life than him and much nicer and honest friends that I can count on. Im just so mad that I got involved with him, but I can't change the past and I suppose it's the past that shapes us into the person we are today.

    The closing date for my uni application is tomorrow so hopefully il hear something very soon as to whether I've been accepted or not, fingers crossed I do and then I have my course in Sept to look forward too.

    Just wanted to say thanks for everyone's advice and thanks for sticking by me when I broke NC rules in the past, that won't be happening again I can assure you. I never want to go back and feel that pain ever again xxx
  • Jan 21, 2010, 03:58 AM
    amicon

    That's great news,hun,don't be angry with yourself though-we live and learn from all our experiences.

    Fingers crossed for uni.
    Take care.xx
  • Jan 21, 2010, 04:07 AM
    louiseismyname
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by amicon View Post
    That's great news,hun,dont be angry with yourself though-we live and learn from all our experiences.

    Fingers crossed for uni.
    Take care.xx

    Thanks Amicon!! I've never felt this positive, I really don't care if I never see him ever again and that is the truth. I just am happy not to have that drama in my life anymore, wondering who he is with and whether he will text me, and if he does text me will it be nice or the usual nasty stuff.

    Im so much better than that and don't deserve to be treated that way. If he ever texts me again il simply ignore his text like the last one he sent me. Im onwards and upwards and this time he isn't going to drag me down to his level xx
  • Jan 26, 2010, 09:12 AM
    louiseismyname

    Just wanted to give you all a little update (if that's ok), I thought it would help others to see that if I can move on ANYONE can move on. Well I am on day 13 now and not contacted him once, I've had weak moments but I just keep myself occupied and they soon pass. I feel so much better not having to worry whether he will be texting me nasty words or wondering where or in his case WHO he is with!! Its like a breathe of fresh air. I wanted to say again thank you so much for everyone that has helped me through this horrible time. Il never ever go back and put myself through that again for sure. Xxxxx
  • Jan 26, 2010, 09:23 AM
    amicon

    Its good to hear some happy! Keep up the NC and know that you're on the right path.

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